grand tour nissan patrol episode

NEW ON YOUTUBE: Cash for Clunkers List

What’s Under The Hood Of The Nissan Patrol That Spanked A Porsche 918 In ‘The Grand Tour’?

Here’s what it takes to build a giant brick on four wheels to beat Porsche’s 900 hp supercar.

You've seen The Grand Tour's season finale and you've probably been wondering about the batshit Nissan Patrol that schooled the Porsche 918 ever since. Sure, it's obviously not a stock Patrol, but even if this giant brick on four wheels had the GT-R's monstrous VR38DETT, it shouldn't be able to embarrass a state-of-the-art 900 horsepower hypercar like that, right?

Richard Hammond never gave us a closer look at the insane Nissan Patrol, but earlier this week, YouTube channel 1320Video did:

As it turns out, the Patrol is running a complete R35 Nissan GT-R drivetrain after all. However, it's anything but stock – performance outfit FPerformance took on the project by first performing a complete GT-R transplant for the Patrol, including the VR38DETT, a Stage 5 Shep gearbox , axles, rear subframe, suspension, GT-R carbon brakes, hub, and more. A GT-R fascia was even grafted to the Patrol's front bumper and a custom GT-R style hood, completely with functional NACA ducts, was made for the truck as well. Inside, the GT-R steering wheel, dash cluster, R switches, and gear shifter were all brought over to this Patrol. Yes, you can even toggle the switches for launch control just like a real GT-R. Last and certainly not least, the VR38DETT was then stroked to 4.1 liters and built to be good for 1900 horsepower, maybe more.

According to Boyan of FPerformance, this Porsche 918 killer Nissan Patrol will accelerate from a standstill to 330 km/h, or 205 mph, in just 800 meters. At 340 km/h, the Patrol may experience some lift due to the lack of aero. 

The last time we heard of a crazy GT-R Frankenstein like this was when British motorsports house RML Group built a wide body Nissan Juke with GT-R running gear, dubbed the Nissan Juke-R . But the FPerformance's 1900 horsepower Nissan Patrol dials the level of crazy to a whole new level.

Watch The Grand Tour's  Porsche 918 Spyder vs Nissan Patrol drag race again. If you had the choice, would you take home the Monster Nissan over the Porsche hybrid supercar? Let us know in the comments below.

The Porsche 918-Beating Nissan Patrol from The Grand Tour Is Basically a GT-R

How do you make a Nissan Patrol quicker than a Porsche 918? Easy. You turn it into a heavily modified GT-R with a truck body and 1600 horsepower.

On the final episode of The Grand Tour , Richard Hammond drag raced a Porsche 918 a Nissan Patrol. The Patrol obliterated the 918. You could tell the Patrol was modified from the outside, but it's still hard to wrap your head around the fact that the Patrol was able to beat the Porsche.

When you take a look behind the scenes, though, it makes sense.

This Patrol is essentially a Patrol body with a GT-R underneath. And a heavily modified GT-R at that. Essentially, everything that can be taken off a GT-R and fitted to the Patrol was, including the interior and brakes. It's crazy to behold.

They say that it has a "Stage 5" tune, which is essentially all you can do to a GT-R. That means that this SUV that looks pretty average to the common person is putting out somewhere in the neighborhood of 1600 horsepower. There have been crazy builds of Patrols before, but not really anything on this level.

Check it out:

Travis was an editor at Road & Track. He was previously the Editor-in-Chief of Jalopnik.com.

.css-1693l19{margin-right:0.25rem;margin-top:0.2rem;width:1.125rem;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webkit-background-position:center center;background-position:center center;}.loaded .css-1693l19{background-image:url('/_assets/design-tokens/roadandtrack/static/images/slash.svg');} Watch Next

.css-ryud0:before{margin-right:0.3125rem;width:1.125rem;height:1.125rem;content:'';display:inline-block;-webkit-background-size:1.125rem;background-size:1.125rem;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webkit-background-position:bottom;background-position:bottom;}.loaded .css-ryud0:before{background-image:url(/_assets/design-tokens/roadandtrack/static/images/slash.3b27b9a.svg);} Car Culture

The Mustang Is the Center of the Car Universe

From the Archives: Meet the Mustang

The Best Japanese Sports Cars Ever Made

Why the Carrera GT is Porsche's Greatest Supercar

Lamborghini Is Finally Ready to Try Racing

Mercedes 500E: the Greatest Benz Porsche Built

The Dorm Room Mechanic Writes His Own Syllabus

Tested: The Best Driving Sunglasses

The Greatest Cars We've Ever Driven

The Ultimate Nineties Subaru: Gravel Express

Learning How to Drift with Federico Scerrifo

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

REVEALED: The Grand Tour Nissan Patrol Which Destroyed The Porsche 918! Exclusive Material!

As every gearhead out there, I suppose you are also stunned by the latest episode of The Grand Tour where the powerful Nissan Patrol was featured. This sleeper became an overnight celebrity thanks to its unbelievable power that put to shame the Porsche 918 model in a head to head race in Dubai.

You have to admit that it was oddly satisfying to watch the Grand Tour Nissan Patrol pulling away on the highway against an expensive hybrid hypercar like the Porsche 918. Therefore, on the menu today we have a detailed look under the hood of this monster!

Continue reading on Page 2 and check out the exclusive Photo Gallery!

• Next page »

Privacy Overview

• Cast & crew

Past v Future

• Episode aired Feb 3, 2017

For the final show of the season, the Grand Tour tent arrives in Dubai from where Jeremy Clarkson and James May introduce a battle between their own, personal cars. Jeremy champions the past... Read all For the final show of the season, the Grand Tour tent arrives in Dubai from where Jeremy Clarkson and James May introduce a battle between their own, personal cars. Jeremy champions the past with his Volkswagen Golf GTI while James makes a case for the future with his electricall... Read all For the final show of the season, the Grand Tour tent arrives in Dubai from where Jeremy Clarkson and James May introduce a battle between their own, personal cars. Jeremy champions the past with his Volkswagen Golf GTI while James makes a case for the future with his electrically powered BMW i3. Meanwhile, Richard Hammond is in France learning how to drift a car like... Read all

• Phil Churchward
• Kit Lynch Robinson
• Gavin Whitehead
• Jeremy Clarkson
• Richard Hammond

• Self - Presenter

• Self - The American
• (credit only)

• Self - Singer

• Self - Legendary Guitarist
• Self - Winching Driver

• Self - Special Guest
• Self - Drifting Instructor
• Self - Drifter
• Self - Drifting Competitor
• All cast & crew
• Production, box office & more at IMDbPro

Did you know

• Trivia Michelin's top secret test track is located at Centre de Technologie de Ladoux, Rue Orange, 63118, Cébazat, France. But don't tell anyone.
• Connections References Monty Python's Flying Circus: Dennis Moore (1973)
• Soundtracks Memories (uncredited) Performed by Clinic

User reviews

• February 3, 2017 (United States)
• W. Chump & sons
• Amazon Studios
• Expectation Entertainment
• See more company credits at IMDbPro

Technical specs

• Runtime 1 hour 1 minute
• Dolby Digital

Related news

Contribute to this page.

• IMDb Answers: Help fill gaps in our data
• Learn more about contributing

More to explore

Recently viewed

• Entertainment
• The Grand Tour
• The Grand Tour Episode Guides
• The Grand Tour Series 1

The Grand Tour: Series 1, Episode 13 – Past v Future

• The Grand Tour tent is in Dubai for the final show.
• Jeremy Clarkson pits his old fashioned Volkswagen Golf GTI against James May’s electrically powered BMW i3.
• James is forced to take part in a sport called winching.
• The Bugatti Veyron drag races against the Porsche 918 Spyder.
• Richard Hammond learns how to drift.

Sign up for Amazon Prime . For those who live in countries where Amazon Prime is not available, using a VPN service such as Pure VPN might help.

Episode Guide

The tent is in Dubai. Clarkson compares his Volkswagen Golf GTI to May’s BMW i3 with a drag race at an airstrip and a road trip from London to Dartmoor to attend a Roger Daltrey and Wilko Johnson concert. Clarkson and Hammond make May hang out with “winchers” who drive their 4x4s deep into mud.

For “Celebrity Brain Crash”, F1 racer Daniel Ricciardo drives a hovercraft toward the tent, but crashes before being sucked into the hovercraft’s fan. Hammond defeats the Bugatti Veyron in a drag race with the Porsche 918 Spyder, but quickly loses to a 1900 horsepower Nissan Patrol.

Later, he travels to Michelin’s proving grounds in France to learn how to drift. He must then prove his skills against two professional drifters – a 13-year-old and a double amputee – at Rockingham Motor Speedway. May ends the episode with a series of outtakes of Clarkson and Hammond attempting to drift cars.

0:01:40 – Jeremy’s opening monologue in the show was carefully backtimed to take place just as the Dubai fountains went off.

0:03:07 – The amazing gullwing ‘bus’ in the opening monologue was invented by a man called Wubbo Ockels. He was the first Dutchman ever to go into space, thereby making him Holland’s highest man.

0:04:57 – When James says Jeremy’s VW Golf seats are made from ‘Jackie Stewart’s old trousers’ he’s referring to the seat fabric, which is very tartan. As are most of the clothes worn by multiple F1 champion and non-more-Scottish person Sir Jackie Stewart.

0:05:21 – Jeremy’s Volkswagen Golf GTI Performance Pack has a 2-litre four cylinder engine making 227 horsepower. It can go from 0-62 in 6.5 seconds and has a top speed of 155mph.

0:05:31 – James’s BMW i3 REx has a hybrid synchronous electric motor making 167 horsepower (and a 650cc, 34 horsepower, two cylinder petrol engine to charge the batteries). It can go from 0-62 in 7.9 seconds and has a top speed of 93mph.

0:06:03 – Jeremy swears that he didn’t want a red Golf. But does admit that yes, he thought he was buying a three door GTI until he realised he’d got the order wrong.

0:08:04 – The ‘London airport’ used for the Golf v i3 drag race is actually Wycombe Air Park, described by its own website as ‘more than just a place where aircraft land and take off’.

0:13:21 – Iniquitous – Unfair, unjust, morally wrong. A word used by Jeremy Clarkson upon discovering that James May is getting free electrical petrol.

0:13:38 – American viewers may be amused to notice that British fuel pumps don’t latch on, forcing motorists to stand in the cold and wet until all the petrol has gone into their car.

0:18:03 – Jeremy’s sporty GTI driving takes place on Dartmoor, the setting for the Sherlock Holmes book, The Hound Of The Baskervilles, and the Quidditch World Cup Final in Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire. There is also a mythical Beast Of Dartmoor which might be some kind of lion, or maybe just a very massive cat.

0:19:21 – Electric car purists believe ordering the range extended version of the BMW i3 with the back-up petrol engine is cheating and call the front-mounted fuel filler cover the ‘flap of shame’.

0:20:31 – Wilko Johnson – Guitarist and singer most famous as part of the 1970s Godfather of punk, Dr Feelgood. He also played an executioner on Game of Thrones.

0:25:45 – Heston Blumenthal – British chef famed for combining unusual tastes, textures and methods. Ideal for someone who likes roast wasps and pencil sharpenings served on a record player.

0:29:35 – The home of James’s filthy misery is called Muddy Bottom. No, really. It’s in Hampshire.

0:31:32 – Seamus’s winching machine is home made, based around a Mitsubishi chassis.

0:32:09 – As demonstrated in the winching film, James May is very bad in slippery surfaces.

0:36:30 – Ricciardo – a type of fine red mist found all over Dubai.

0:38:23 – The Bugatti Veyron has an 8-litre quad turbo W16 engine making 1000 horsepower. It can go from 0-62 in 2.5 seconds and has a top speed of 253mph.

0:38:28 – The Porsche 918 Spyder has a 4.6-litre V8 + two electric motors maing a total of 887 horsepower. It can go from 0-62 in 2.6 seconds and on to a top speed of 215mph.

0:41:50 – It turns out that the beige SUV in the 918 racing film has a highly modified Nissan GT-R engine and drivetrain.

0:43:02 – Michelin’s top secret test track is located at Centre de Technologie de Ladoux, Rue Orange, 63118, Cebazat, France. But don’t tell anyone.

0:45:32 – Keen eyed geeks will notice that the BMW M4 in the drifting film appears to have the driver’s seat from a Porsche. This is because test driver Jerome needs minimal padding and tight bolstering to make him feel as connected as possible to the car so he can analyse tiny differences between tyres.

0:50:25 – The 6.2-litre V8 in the Nissan drift car is a GM LS2, like in a Corvette.

0:59:12 – The playmates drifting montage depicts scenes from the grand tour of Italy (show 3) and the hypercar showdown (show 1).

0:59:56 – The montage of drifting uselessness depicts scenes from the Abarth 124 test (show 10), Porsche 911 GT3 v BMW M4 (show 4), Ford Mustang v Ford Focus RS (show 6), and the Lexus GS F test (show 11).

Screenshots

Bugatti Chiron could star in The Grand Tour’s final episode

Subaru xv 2.0d se manual review, related posts, the grand tour: series 1, episode 12 – [censored] to [censored], the grand tour: series 1, episode 11 – italian lessons, the grand tour: series 1, episode 10 – dumb fight at the o.k. coral, the grand tour: series 1, episode 9 – berks to the future, the grand tour: series 1, episode 8 – the beach (buggy) boys part 2, the grand tour: series 1, episode 7 – the beach (buggy) boys part 1.

When I saw that Nissan , it reminded me of that working mans drag race with that normal looking white van , so you sort of knew who was going win

Except the Nissan was tuned, but the van was an actual XJ 220 prototype that Jag put in a transit costume so they could test it on the roads before release.

Cool fact: The transit body was actually lighter than the final car body but it was less aerodynamic.

Great episode. The moment they mentioned Rockingham my mind jumped to the overtaking massacre of the Alfa challenge from TG. lol

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

• Armada Shop

Episode 550: Moscow

Warm up set:

Main stage set:

• Omnia & IRA  The Fusion (Armin van Buuren Intro Edit)
• Alexander Popov  Attractive Force [Armada]
• Armin van Buuren feat. Ana Criado  Suddenly Summer [Armind]
• Leon Bolier  ID
• W&W Invasion (Club Mix) [ASOT 550 anthem] [ASOT]
• Gaia  Tuvan [Armind]
• Orjan Nilsen  Legions [Armind]
• Beat Service  Fortuna [Coldharbour]
• Andrew Rayel 550 Senta (Aether Mix) [ASOT]
• Armin van Buuren presents Gaia  J’ai Envie De Toi [Armind]
• Wiegel Meirmans Snitker  Nova Zembla (Armin van Buuren Remix)
• Cosmic Gate  Fire Wire (Cosmic Gate’s Back 2 The Future Remix) [Black Hole]
• Ferry Corsten & Armin van Buuren  Brute (Armin’s Illegal Drum Edit)
• Gareth Emery feat. Christina Novelli  Concrete Angel (John O’Callaghan Remix) [Garuda]
• Armin van Buuren & Orjan Nilsen  Belter [Armind]
• Armin van Buuren  Sail [Armind]
• Armin van Buuren feat. Sharon Den Adel vs John O’Callaghan  In and Out of Love vs Raw Deal (AvB Mash Up)
• Jean-Michel Jarre En Attendant Cousteau
• Ryan Davis A Nature s Son [Proton Music]
• Exoplanet Archetype (C-jay Remix [Proton Particles]
• Blackfeel Wite  Toskana (Original Mix) [Moonbeam Digital]
• Flash Brothers feat. Epiphony More Than You Know (Amine Edge & Deluna Dub Instrumental Mix) [S107]
• Michael Burns pres. Blue Haze  How To Escape Yourself (Original mix) [Perspectives Digital]
• Yunus Red Pilot (Peet '11 Deployment)
• Easy Toys  Weekend Therapy [Electric Life Records]
• Stanley Ross  Australia
• Espen & Stian  Great Dame

Future Favorite results #549

• (22.6%) Armin van Buuren & Orjan Nilsen - Belter (Sneak Peak from ASOT 2012) [Armind]
• (17.2%) Arctic Moon - Starships Over Alice [FSOE]
• (7.1%) Gareth Emery feat. Christina Novelli - Concrete Angel (John O'Callaghan Remix) [Garuda]
• (6.3%) Ahmed Romel - City Of Life (Running Man Remix)
• (6.3%) W&W - Invasion (Club Mix) [ASOT 550 anthem] [Captivating Sounds]

Red Square & Moscow City Tour

• Page active

Description

Highlights:.

• Experience medieval Kitay Gorod (China town).
• Wander picturesque Red Square and Alexander Garden.
• Explore grand Christ the Savior Cathedral on our Red Square tour.
• Breathtaking panoramic views from Patriarch bridge.
• Enjoy a hearty lunch on the large open verandah and marvel at the stunning views of the Kremlin.
• Learn about Russian culture from the local through relaxed cultural discussions.

Tour Itinerary:

Red square:.

Russia and Moscow are synonymous with Red Square and the Kremlin and that's hardly surprising as you'll find these places absolutely stunning!

• - Walk-through the Resurrection Gate and don’t forget to flip a coin so you’ll be sure to come back one day!
• - Visit the world's famous Kazan Cathedral .
• - See the State Department Store (GUM), once the Upper Trading Stalls, which were built over a century ago and still operating!
• - Admire the lovely St. Basil's Cathedral! The French diplomat Marquis de Custine commented that it combined "the scales of a golden fish, the enamelled skin of a serpent, the changeful hues of the lizard, the glossy rose and azure of the pigeon's neck" and wondered at "the men who go to worship God in this box of confectionery work".
• - Walk by Lobnoye Mesto (literally meaning "Execution Place", or "Place of Skulls"), once Ivan the Terrible's stage for religious ceremonies, speeches, and important events.
• - Entering the Alexander Garden , you’ll take in spectacular views of Russian architecture from ancient to Soviet times, as well as the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier with an eternal flame. Watch Changing of the Guard Ceremony every hour in summer and every half an hour in winter.

Kitai-gorod:

Stroll along medieval Kitai-gorod with its strong ancient Russia feel, known for its bohemian lifestyle, markets and arts.

• - Nikolskaya Street. Here you will find the Russia's first publishing house, the second oldest monastery, and Ferryn Pharmacy, known as the number one pharmacy back in Soviet times and famous for its Empire-style architecture.
• - Ilinka Street. The financial street of the Kitaigorod (China Town) district, where you’ll find the Gostiny Dvor (Merchant’s Yard), which is now a showroom for Ferraris and Maseratis. The street was designed in the 1790s by Catherine the Great.
• - Varvarka street. The oldest street in Moscow, which dates back to the 14th century, and still has remnants of early Muscovite architecture, such as the Old English Court and the Palace of the Romanov’s.
• - Kamergersky Lane. Only a small road of about 250 meters, it is home to some of the oldest artifacts of the city, as each building holds a fascinating story. Some of Russia's most famous writers, poets, and composers from as far back as the Golden Age of Russian culture, have lived or worked on this lane.

Historic City Center

Walk the historical old center of Moscow with its cool local vibe, including the main Tverskaya street , and indulge in desserts in the first grocery “Eliseev's store” , housed in an 18th century neoclassical building, famous for its baroque interior and decoration.

From our tour. Impressions of our American tourist:

At 3:30, as energy flagged, lunch was on the agenda at a Ukrainian restaurant.  Just in time!  We asked our guide to order for us.  We all had the same thing....borscht (the Ukrainian version has beans and more tomatoes than the Russian version, which has more beets and includes beef). 

The special high bread served is called galushki.  Our main course was golubtsy...a dish of minced meat rolled in braised cabbage leaves.  Both dishes called for optional sour cream as a topping....of course, yes, please....I recommend it. 

Full, satisfied, and completely refreshed, it was off to Red Square and St. Basil's and GUM department store.  Red Square is not so named because of the color of the brick walls of the Kremlin.  Rather the word for 'red' and the word for 'beautiful' are similar in pronunciation....and, there you have it. 

As we made the turn by the National Museum in front of which is the mounted sculpture of the "Marshall of Victory," Giorgy Zhukov from WWII and caught our first view of St. Basil's, my friend and I simultaneously emitted "Oooohhhhh!"  There it was....the iconic onion domes of St. Basil's!  Hooray....it was open until 7....we had about 30 minutes and were allowed in, AND we could take photos with no flash. 

Now, I can give you a taste of what we saw in the other cathedrals in Cathedral Square.  What we learned is that St. Vasily and St. Basil are one in the same....Russian/English.  He was a common man who wandered Moscow unclothed and barefoot.  But, all, even Ivan the Terrible, heeded his opinions derived from his visions.  Ivan had this cathedral built over his tomb. 

As we exited and took photos up close of the onion domes, Inna presented us with chocolate (how did she know we were ready for another energy boost, and we each got a big piece of chocolate.  The baby's name pictured on the wrapper of this famous Russian chocolate is Alyonka....the Russian Gerber baby, don't you think? 

One could wear out the credit card in GUM's (capitalized because it is actually a government abbreviation), but the 'kitty' and my credit card stayed in my pocket as we strolled through the glass-topped arcade. 

We then strolled through some of Moscow's lovely pedestrian streets; paused to listen as a wonderful quartet performed Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" in an underground passage to cross the busy street (hooray!....we DID have our 'classical concert' experience after all; a request Alina tried in vain to fill because none was scheduled those days), saw the Bolshoi, which means 'big' (my friend has yet to recover that their performance schedule did not coincide with our cruise), saw the Central Telegraph Building, dating from the 1930's, and made our way to the Ritz-Carlton to see the night view of Moscow from the rooftop bar, called O2. 

There were fleece blankets to wrap yourself in....yes, it got that cold when the sun set.  We each ordered something hot to drink...the ginger, mint, lemon tea served to me in a parfait glass (for 600 rubles...about $9....you pay for the view here!) was delightful and hit the spot perfectly.  It was time to call it a night....

What you get:

• + A friend in Moscow.
• + Private & customized Moscow tour.
• + An exciting city tour, not just boring history lessons.
• + An authentic experience of local life.
• + Flexibility during the tour: changes can be made at any time to suit individual preferences.
• + Amazing deals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the very best cafes & restaurants. Discounts on weekdays (Mon-Fri).
• + A photo session amongst spectacular Moscow scenery that can be treasured for a lifetime.
• + Good value for souvenirs, taxis, and hotels.
• + Expert advice on what to do, where to go, and how to make the most of your time.

*This Moscow city tour can be modified to meet your requirements.

Write your review

The Deaths of The Grand Tour Celebrity Brain Crash: A Look Back In Memoriam

Despite being amazingly popular, The Grand Tour was not without its criticisms. Along side the American, fans and critics alike are hoping that Celebrity Brain Crash will meet as grizzly an end as Daniel Ricciadro did in the season finale. One of the biggest issues critics seem to have with the segment, other than it being completely ridiculous, is how scripted it is.

Since the whole debacle came about because of a legal dispute with the BBC, it’s unlikely that The Grand Tour will ever have a normal celebrity segment. It remains to be seen though if the producers will listen to the fans on this one, or if they’ll continue on with Celebrity Brain Crash in subsequent seasons.

[button color=”red” size=”big” alignment=”center” rel=”follow” openin=”samewindow” url=”https://grandtournation.com/1891/bbc-legal-threat-forced-the-grand-tour-to-kill-off-celebrities-nd3687/”]BBC Legal Limitations Force Killing of Celebrities[/button]

Here’s a look back at all of the celebrities we “lost” this season.

Episode 1: The Holy Trinity

The season premiere saw quite a bit of carnage, starting with big name star, Jeremy Renner. Wanting to start off the segment with a bang, the star was going to jump from a plane and parachute into the studio. Sadly, it seems the chute didn’t open… Luckily they were prepared for tragedy.

The trio then welcomed another Hollywood star to the tent, Armie Hammer. However, there was nothing they could do but watch as he was attacked by a snake, and anyway snakes hunt in packs… So, was he coming on? No, he finished writhing around in agony and died, according to Hammond.

There was in fact a celebrity in the tent, though no one in the American audience seemed to know who she was. Carol Vorderman was a British television personality and math wiz, who was once the highest paid woman on TV. Sadly, we also don’t know how she died, but dead, is what she was.

Episode 2: Operation Desert Stumble

In this episode, the trio were set to welcome South African local and another big name Hollywood actor, Charlize Theron to the tent. She had decided to walk, rather than take the hover craft that was offered, and that might have been a safer choice, but for the lion. So, was she coming on? No, she had in fact been eaten by a lion.

Episode 3: Opera, Art and Donuts

Poor Simon Pegg never stood a chance against those seagulls. Everything seemed promising for the actor, as he made his way through the quiet port town of Whitby. As he neared the tent, however, he was attacked by a hungry bunch of seagulls, who were allegedly after his Cornetto (that’s an ice cream cone to you and me). So, was he coming on? No, he fell into the harbor and the icy North Sea waters filled his lungs, according to Richard.

Episode 4: Enviro-mental

Back in the North Yorkshire town of  Whitby, British comedian, Jimmy Carr, thought he’d be safe and start in the water. Electing to arrive by jet ski, he literally ran into trouble when, just outside the tent, a large boat blocked his progress. Naturally, there was an explosion. So, was he coming on then? No, as Richard so eloquently put it, he had burst and become basically chum on the waters of the harbor.

Episode 5: Moroccan Roll

Looking at the set up of this one, we’re sure we weren’t alone in assuming that Dutch rock band Golden Earring were going to be flattened by the giant shipping container dangling just above them. This was not the case, however. Instead, they were simultaneously electrocuted by a cable that had fallen into the water. So, were they coming on then? No, they were in fact subjected to a lethal dose of electricity and were lying on the ground sizzling, explained Richard Hammond.

Episode 6: Happy Finnish Christmas

Not such a Happy Christmas for Formula One fans and for Kimi Räikkönen. Some thought that they could have been a little more creative with this one, but others found this untimely death quite appropriate for the driver, who is apparently a bit of a drinker. So, was he coming on then? No, as Hammond put it, his liver had failed and he was slowly solidifying in the freezing dusk of an Arctic night.

Episode 9: Berks To The Future

Perhaps what made Nena the best sport of all was that she apparently agreed to arrive via 99 red balloons. Probably not the best idea considering The Grand Tour’s track record with air born celebrities. So, was she coming on then? No, according to Richard, she had floated up into the stratosphere, her eyelids had frozen over and her lungs were inside out. Graphic, but not entirely inaccurate…

Episode 10: Dumb Fight At The O.K. Coral

At least the death of ACDC frontman, Brian Johnson, taught us a valuable lesson. If a football is thrown your way, whatever you do, don’t catch it because you will be trampled by a random football team out for a jog. So, was he coming on then? No, he had been hammered to the thickness of an envelope and his spine was now a jigsaw. Lovely.

Episode 11: Italian Lessons

Perhaps, being on the edge of a lake, drowning seemed a little too obvious a death for Sir Chris Hoy. Naturally, the only response was to have his row boat hit a mine in the middle of Loch Ness. So, was he coming on then? No, as Richard explained, he’d been exploded and reduced to chops and offal.

Episode 12: [Censored] to [Censored] 

Who knew Tim Burton had a license to drive a submarine? So as not to repeat the previous week’s mine debacle, the obvious answer was to have him sneak underneath them in a sub. If you were like us, you were waiting patiently, for Nessie to show up. Like in a new age sci-fi thriller though, it was left mostly to our imagination what happened down there. So, was he coming on? No, as Hammond put it, his lungs had filled with icy water, he sank to the bottom and his body was being compressed to the size of a ping-pong ball…

Episode 13: Past v Future

By far, the most gruesome of celebrity deaths, was Formula One driver, Daniel Ricciardo who had a rather literal brain crash. Time and again on old Top Gear Jeremy showed us the dangers of the hover craft, but that didn’t stop Ricciardo. He was apparently thrown back into the enormous fan after having crashed into the tent.  So, was he coming on then? No, he’d been liquidized and was all over the window. As Jeremy put it, he was not so much in the tent as on it…

Is it just us, or did they have a little bit too much fun with Hammond’s over-the-top descriptions? Perhaps, that was the only good part of the whole sketch, scripted though it was. Either way, we bid the late celebrities of Celebrity Brain Crash a fond fair well and hope that next season we, and the world’s population of famous people, will be spared from this segment.

The Grand Tour: The Cars of The First Season at Eboladrome

The grand tour nissan patrol: the porsche 918 killer based on a nissan supercar, related articles.

Meet The BMW i8 Station Wagon That We Hope To See Go To Production

James May Drowns Mitsubishi EVO In Upcoming Grand Tour Episode

Nissan starts production of brand new r33 and r34 skyline gt-r parts.

Jonathan Ross Shoots Down Jeremy Clarkson In Hilarious Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Moment

Loved Grand Tour but please dump the Celebrity Brain Crash and the stupid American

Couldn’t of said it better. .. Completely agree

Kill the Celebrity Brain crash, the American, constant references to penises and the tent. Apart from those keep up the good work. PS no more stupid SWAT antics either.

13th was the charm!

I thought it was funny and I hope they continue it,