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I'm a working mom who enjoys solo travel. I've learned how to keep myself from spiraling into mom guilt while I'm away.
- I'm a working mom who incorporates solo trips into my business travel.
- I love traveling as a family, but, at times, I miss the spontaneity and flexibility of solo travel.
- To minimize mom guilt, I speak with my son about trips before leaving and ensure his schedule stays the same.
My 6-year-old looked at me as I stood by the door, suitcase in hand, before leaving home for a weeklong business trip to the other side of the world. He walked over, held my hand, and said, "Why are you going away for so long? I'm going to miss you a billion trillion times."
My heart skipped a beat, and my not-so-new best friend, "mom guilt," walked through the door. I felt like it would stay with me for the entire trip. Still, I gave my son a big hug and walked out the door.
I have always enjoyed exploring new places. The thought of boarding a flight brings a big smile to my face. Unlike many people who hate the idea of work travel, I enjoy it. I love checking into a hotel, going to the gym or taking a dip in the pool, grabbing a local coffee on my way to work, going for walking meetings , and exploring the city.
My husband is also an enthusiastic traveler, and together, we have explored the world far and wide. Since my son was born, we've focused on getting him used to traveling. We took him on a 10-hour flight when he was 4 months old, took 30 flights before he turned 2 , and have taken him to nearly 20 countries. It's already clear that the travel bug has bitten him too.
But while traveling with children is fun, I missed the spontaneity and the flexibility of solo travel . You can stay wherever you want, eat what you like, and explore the city without worrying about pushing a stroller, managing bedtimes, or keeping a close watch on your child in an overcrowded area. I also loved how I could sleep past 6 a.m.
A packed working-parent schedule doesn't allow for many solo travel opportunities, but work trips are my way of relishing in something I enjoy.
Moms need to stop feeling guilty
Working moms have long suffered the guilt of not being able to spend enough time with their children. A study conducted by the British Psychological Society in 2022 found that gender stereotypes can predict the levels of guilt that working parents feel, with working mothers feeling higher levels of guilt compared to working fathers.
Another study, conducted by Pew Research in 2015 , showed that children's academic and emotional well-being is not contingent on the time they spend with their mothers.
As a working parent who loves to travel, the feeling is all too familiar. The guilt gets exacerbated when friends and family often look at me with surprise and ask how my child is managing without me. No one asks me that question when my husband is away on business — but that's another conversation for another essay.
I decided to give my guilt structure
After adding more extra days on business trips, I realized how liberating it was to travel alone.
I first tried solo travel while planning a business trip a few years ago. After a week of meetings in New York, I stayed for an extra night and treated myself to a glass of wine at the One World Observatory in downtown Manhattan. I just sat there, swirling my glass and watching the world go by. The sense of calmness was a feeling I rarely find as a working mom, and I loved it.
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Over the years, I've stopped by the Great Wall on a trip to China, popped into the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, and spent a weekend exploring Angkor Wat, a temple in Cambodia, after a week of meetings in Singapore.
I have learned to handle and even bounce back from my mom guilt spirals.
Here are some steps that helped me deal with the guilt.
1. Lean on your partner or family for support
I can't help but think of the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child." It does.
Lean on your partner — or friends and family — for support while you are away. They can help you stay connected with your children, reason if your child is upset, and help you be an important part of your child's schedule even when you are in a different time zone.
2. Talk about your travel with your child
Let your child know how excited you are about an adventure. Before you hop on the plane, show them pictures or YouTube videos of where you are traveling.
My son knows how much my husband and I love traveling and is very engaged when I talk to him ahead of a solo trip. We talk about the city, the stories behind it, the food, and the people — and he even requests what souvenirs to bring back.
For example, before my trip to China last year, my son and I discussed the Great Wall and how it was built. He was fascinated and asked me to send him pictures throughout the trip, which helped ease my guilt.
3. Follow your child's schedule
I've found that my son feels more confident and comfortable when his day is predictable and familiar. Ensure that whoever is looking after your child follows their set routine; children thrive in a routine .
Identify the times during the day when they need you the most and plug into their daily routine with Facetime and video calls. It may not be the same as being there in person, but it likely makes them feel comfortable knowing you're just a phone call away.
Time zones can make coordinating schedules tricky — bedtime can come when I'm in the middle of a meeting — so I schedule voice notes, pictures, and videos. I'll even send my husband detailed voice notes to play to our son before he goes to sleep. The bonus is I wake up to some adorable voice notes that are a great start to the day.
4. Walk the guilt away
Despite doing all of the above, the guilt still sneaks in occasionally. So I immediately go out for a quick walk to clear my head .
I remind myself this may feel tough, but I am teaching my son the importance of leaning into your interests and passions. I am also teaching him that his parents may travel for work, but he'll always have a support system back at home.
It's not easy, and sometimes it feels like moving mountains, but the thrill of exploring a new place and the tiny cuddles at the end of the trip make the journey worthwhile.
Watch: Why one mother fled Texas to keep her child safe
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Students fill Academic Lawn, Prayer Chapel for end-of-semester praise and worship
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April 25, 2024 : By Office of Communications & Public Engagement
As they have done every week this semester, Liberty University students gathered for Campus Community on Wednesday night, but this time they filled the Academic Lawn outside the Montview Student Union. The service lasted well into the night.
Campus Community, part of Liberty’s spiritual development programs, is typically held in the Vines Center. The service provides the student body with a time of intentional worship and sound biblical teaching. This semester, messages have covered the apostle John’s three letters to the church.
During the service, Chancellor Jonathan Falwell told students he appreciated their willingness to give up their time at the end of the semester (final exams begin next week) to worship God, noting that several other universities around the country have instead seen students gather on their lawns for protests.
Falwell said the service was important in light of the passages they’ve been studying this semester and highlighted “how amazing it is that Liberty students come to our lawn, and what we do rather than attacking one another is lift up the name of the only One who is worthy of our praise, and that is Jesus Christ, King of kings, and Lord of lords.”
Falwell read from 3 John and urged students to remain grounded in their faith and daily commit to living their lives for Christ. He said regardless of one’s age or position at Liberty, everyone must make the decision whether they will serve God or themselves.
“This is a choice that we have to make. But understand it’s not a choice that we have to make once, but one we have to make every single day. Every day when we wake up and put our feet on the ground, we have to decide that on this day, no matter what I face, no matter what I come up against, no matter what situations I may have to navigate, I’m going to honor God, I’m going to serve Christ, I’m going to run after Him.”
Following the time of worship, Vice President for Spiritual Development Josh Rutledge invited students to take part in a 24-hour campus prayer event, the university’s second of the semester, which began at midnight in the Worley Prayer Chapel. The event, which included both music and Scripture reading, allowed students to continue the worship time that began earlier at Campus Community.
Liberty will host its last Convocation of the semester on Friday with a message from President Dondi Costin.
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Liberty engineering students introduce STEM concepts to youth at local Jubilee Center
Nursing students return to Kenya, Rwanda to partner with local providers in serving all ages of God’s people
Liberty arts department donates supplies to school in Ghana founded by alumnus
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The Crackdown on Student Protesters
Columbia university is at the center of a growing showdown over the war in gaza and the limits of free speech..
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Columbia University has become the epicenter of a growing showdown between student protesters, college administrators and Congress over the war in Gaza and the limits of free speech.
Nicholas Fandos, who covers New York politics and government for The Times, walks us through the intense week at the university. And Isabella Ramírez, the editor in chief of Columbia’s undergraduate newspaper, explains what it has all looked like to a student on campus.
On today’s episode
Nicholas Fandos , who covers New York politics and government for The New York Times
Isabella Ramírez , editor in chief of The Columbia Daily Spectator
Background reading
Inside the week that shook Columbia University .
The protests at the university continued after more than 100 arrests.
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Research help by Susan Lee .
The Daily is made by Rachel Quester, Lynsea Garrison, Clare Toeniskoetter, Paige Cowett, Michael Simon Johnson, Brad Fisher, Chris Wood, Jessica Cheung, Stella Tan, Alexandra Leigh Young, Lisa Chow, Eric Krupke, Marc Georges, Luke Vander Ploeg, M.J. Davis Lin, Dan Powell, Sydney Harper, Mike Benoist, Liz O. Baylen, Asthaa Chaturvedi, Rachelle Bonja, Diana Nguyen, Marion Lozano, Corey Schreppel, Rob Szypko, Elisheba Ittoop, Mooj Zadie, Patricia Willens, Rowan Niemisto, Jody Becker, Rikki Novetsky, John Ketchum, Nina Feldman, Will Reid, Carlos Prieto, Ben Calhoun, Susan Lee, Lexie Diao, Mary Wilson, Alex Stern, Dan Farrell, Sophia Lanman, Shannon Lin, Diane Wong, Devon Taylor, Alyssa Moxley, Summer Thomad, Olivia Natt, Daniel Ramirez and Brendan Klinkenberg.
Our theme music is by Jim Brunberg and Ben Landsverk of Wonderly. Special thanks to Sam Dolnick, Paula Szuchman, Lisa Tobin, Larissa Anderson, Julia Simon, Sofia Milan, Mahima Chablani, Elizabeth Davis-Moorer, Jeffrey Miranda, Renan Borelli, Maddy Masiello, Isabella Anderson and Nina Lassam.
Nicholas Fandos is a Times reporter covering New York politics and government. More about Nicholas Fandos
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