cruise ship bad seas

'Things flying all over the place': Royal Caribbean cruise ship rocked by rough weather

A Royal Caribbean International cruise ship was rocked by rough weather that shook guest cabins and caused flooding around the ship, according to travelers on board.

The line’s Voyager of the Seas was on its way back to Galveston, Texas, as part of a round-trip, five-night sailing that visited Cozumel, Mexico. The cruise originally departed on Jan. 22.

Passengers told USA TODAY the ship sailed through three bouts of rough weather that brought rain, hail and high winds beginning late in the day on Friday.

Chelsea Ireland and her husband noticed the ship was approaching dark skies and rain around 2:30 p.m. The pair decided to stay in their balcony cabin, which seemed the safest place to be but felt the ship tilt heavily to one side.

“When we tried to walk across our room, it felt like we were walking up a very steep hill,” said the 30-year-old, who lives in Frisco, Texas. “And that lasted for about five minutes.”

When they eventually left their cabin, they saw some passengers walking around in lifejackets, and praying and comforting one another in the halls.

Elaina Escobedo, 21, was around the ship’s Royal Promenade when she heard what sounded like metal dishware hitting the ground. When she and her boyfriend arrived at her grandparents’ cabin, among several family members traveling with her, she found her grandmother’s wheelchair had rolled across the room and cups of lemonade and water had spilled (her grandmother was safe on her couch).

“There were just things flying all over the place,” said Escobedo, who lives in Port Arthur, Texas. She had been on eight cruises before and felt ships rock “but nothing to this extent.” Escobedo also posted a video on TikTok that her sister filmed, showing a chair being blown across an outer deck.

Both Ireland and Escobedo said their staterooms flooded as water filled their balconies, as well, though neither were as severe as some other staterooms they saw.

Royal Caribbean did not immediately respond to USA TODAY’s request for comment.

The news comes after another Royal Caribbean ship, Serenade of the Seas, also faced flooding last month. The vessel, which is currently operating the line’s nine-month Ultimate World Cruise , got caught in rough weather off the coast of South America.

For Escobedo’s part, the experience wasn’t enough to prevent her from taking another cruise – eventually. “I don’t think it’d be anytime soon,” she said.

Nathan Diller is a consumer travel reporter for USA TODAY based in Nashville. You can reach him at [email protected] .

The Truth About Seasickness

Our chief medical consultant gives us his best tips on preventing seasickness..

One of the most common questions first-time cruisers have is “What if I get seasick?” We understand where the concern comes from, and we have answers. We’ve enlisted Dr. Benjamin Shore, Chief Medical Consultant at Royal Caribbean, to break down the basics and whether it’s actually common for guests to experience seasickness while vacationing at sea.

“Considering the large size of today’s cruise ships , seasickness is rarely a problem,” says Dr. Benjamin Shore. He adds that with innovative design and engineering, ships can also safely navigate around inclement weather , and use stabilizers—fins built off a ship’s port and starboard sides along the water line—to reduce side-to-side motion so most guests never experience any motion sickness.

Before we get to the specifics, here are the basics: Motion sickness occurs when what you see conflicts with what your inner ear senses. In other words, if you’re sitting in a car (not moving) but your inner ear detects movement (the car just hit 70 mph on the highway), the two signals being sent to your brain don’t match. Those mixed signals confuse the brain, and the sensations and symptoms (dizziness, nausea) are the result.

In the event that seasickness does develop, Dr. Shore assures that it’s unlikely to really interrupt your adventure, since all Royal Caribbean ships have motion sickness medications, like meclizine, readily available at the dedicated Medical Center on each of our ships, free of charge.

“Additionally, for more troublesome seasickness, our Medical Centers also carry promethazine and metoclopramide,” Dr. Shore says.

Sometimes the best treatment is prevention. “It’s best that guests who know they are prone to seasickness consult their doctor prior to departure,” Dr. Shore says. If your personal physician thinks it’s appropriate, he or she can prescribe a patch that you can wear to prevent the onset of seasickness. “For prescription patches like Transderm Scop, it’s important for it to be applied prior to boarding to be effective,” he adds.

Dr. Shore notes that there are also lots of natural remedies that can help alleviate motion sickness. “Anecdotally, ginger seems to be helpful, and some people find various aromas (like anise, basil, chamomile and peppermint) or eating dry crackers, even after the onset, of seasickness can help.” If a few sips of ginger ale or chewing fresh ginger doesn’t do the trick, he also suggests going for a short walk to the center of the ship, the most balanced area on board and therefore least likely to produce seasickness symptoms.

An unexpected solution Dr. Shore suggests is “the smelling of newspaper print!” He says, “science has no idea why this works so well, but it actually seems to diminish the sensation of nausea.”

With Dr. Shore’s advice and Royal Caribbean’s staff of medical professionals, it’s only smooth sailing for our guests!

If you’re ready to explore Royal Caribbean’s many destinations (more than 260 ports around the world), click here to set sail on your next vacation.

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How Cruise Lines Handle Storms, Fog, Bomb Cyclones, and More

By Fran Golden

Water sloshing across the deck, waves lapping at cabin windows, furniture flying, dishes smashing. We’ve all seen terrifying videos of what happens when a cruise ship gets caught in a major storm. But the toughest reality might be this: generally, it looks worse than it is. Though we can’t control Mother Nature, when bad weather strikes, cruise lines are prepared. Want to know their strategies—how they handle it, and what that means for when you cruise? We talked to the cruise lines directly to find out.

Ships are made for moving

When in the throes of a storm—whether in a plane, a car, or a ship—it’s easy to get nervous about the turbulence and forget that today’s methods of transportation are fairly capable of enduring bouts of bad weather. “Ships can go through rough seas,” says captain Ben Lyons, who helmed small ships for Lindblad Expeditions for years, and is now CEO of Expedition Voyage Consultants, which advises cruise lines on best practices for planning and executing expedition sailings. “It’s more uncomfortable for the guests, but ships can take it.”

Cruise ships are made of heavy steel that’s even heavier with a full load of passengers and crew onboard. With all that weight, they can roll with the waves. In the roughest seas a ship may list, or tilt to one side, but even that’s unlikely—shipbuilders test things such as buoyancy and center of gravity during construction, which includes putting scale models of ships through all sorts of storm simulations. In short, those ships are built to handle storms, even in hurricane season.

Monitoring the weather

Take heed, budding armchair meteorologists: Modern cruise ships have the latest and greatest weather forecasting equipment—far beyond what you can look up on your phone. The bridge (the command center where the captain works) has an entire arsenal of weather maps, satellite images of storms, even computer models from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) and third-party meteorologists. The crew and officers monitor it all constantly.

Safety is a priority for all cruise lines, and even with these on-ship set-ups, many companies add additional layers of precaution. In January 2017, Royal Caribbean hired James Van Fleet as the first-in-the-industry dedicated cruise line meteorologist; he previously worked as a TV meteorologist for more than 20 years. During the hurricane and typhoon season, which is June to November, he’s in the Miami headquarters monitoring a 25-foot wall of weather screens and sharing information with the company’s 26 ships and the executive team.

In most cases, he says, he can see storms seven to 10 days out, and advise ships on avoidance strategies. “I know what the models are suggesting, and they [the crews] are getting the word sooner so they don’t have to scramble,” Van Fleet says. “If there is a typhoon in the western Pacific and we may need to reroute a couple of ships, I can be talking to them two or three times a day.”

Carnival Cruise Line , meanwhile, monitors weather from a multi-million-dollar command center that it opened last year. “One of the many ways that we keep our guests, crew, and vessels safe is through our new state-of-the-art Fleet Operations Center (FOC) at our Miami headquarters,” says Lars Ljoen, executive vice president of marine operations for Carnival Cruise Line.

The first facility of its kind in Southern Florida, the 35,000-square-foot operations center is staffed 24/7 and has a 74-foot-long video wall with 57 LED screens that shows the status of all the line’s 27 ships, including weather, itinerary, and safety updates—some captured by a software called Argos, a management tool developed in-house.

“During hurricane season, our Fleet Operations Center is an invaluable tool as it provides a comprehensive, at-a-glance look at the exact locations of our ships, allowing us to closely monitor their position in relation to the path of the storm and ultimately deploy vessels elsewhere,” says its director, John Rowley.

When to reroute a ship

Cruise ships tend to stick to destinations where they can avoid bad weather, such as the Caribbean in winter and Alaska’s inside passage and the Mediterranean in summer, but there are exceptions: cruising in the Caribbean in summer when the kids are out of school has become popular for families, for example, even though it’s during hurricane season. At any time of year, too, the weather can be unpredictable.

Steph Koyfman

Shannon McMahon

Charlie Hobbs

When seas get rough, modern cruise ships have onboard technology that helps stabilize them. But if it looks like a more serious storm is in their path, cruise ships generally try to outrun or avoid them.

“We’ve steered our ships around typhoons, hurricanes, fog, massive storms with rapid intensification—which gets the term ‘bomb cyclones,’” Van Fleet says. “But we’ve moved. If you are on our ship and there’s a hurricane out there, I can move you. I can get you to better weather,” he adds, noting that land-based hotels and resorts don’t have that option.

There are situations where a ship may have no choice other than encountering some weather, such as during a North Atlantic crossing in the fall. But even in these cases ships try to find the calmest patch of sea. If adverse weather is unavoidable, the cruise line may change your itinerary , possibly switching your Bermuda cruise with one along the coast of New England and Canada, or shortening or lengthening your cruise by a day or two.

Those decisions are made collaboratively with captains, with guest comfort in mind, Van Fleet says. For instance, to avoid heavy rain, he might suggest a ship stay at sea and arrive at a port a few hours later than planned. By contrast, a port may be skipped altogether if seas are too rough—especially if the port doesn’t have a deep-water dock, meaning passengers have to board tenders, or small boats to get to shore, which is a difficult and dangerous operation in windy conditions.

In those cases, the ship may dock at an alternative port, possibly one you didn’t expect to visit; change the order of the ports that are on the itinerary; or seek a sunny spot at sea. Cruise lines are adept at handling these situations and outline this possibility for guests, along with their policies for how they handle them. If this happens to you, talk to the cruise line directly about refunds or other means of recompense—especially if your ship’s return to its homeport needs to be delayed and affects your flights home.

What to expect if your ship hits bad weather

If you’re already on a ship and meet rough conditions, listen to the instructions of the captain and crew. It’s common for the crew to put down non-slip mats and add signage reminding you to exercise caution when walking. Van Fleet says part of his job is communicating with the crew when such procedures may be necessary.

Every day, listen to the captain’s report from the bridge, which includes a description of sea conditions, to decide what preparations you may need to make for the day. If you get seasick , be prepared with over-the-counter motion sickness medications, homeopathic remedies, or a prescription patch from your doctor.

Note that attractions such as the pool and waterslides may shut down, or the outdoor decks may be closed altogether. In very rare situations, the Captain may require all passengers stay in their cabins. In general, you’ll likely feel some rolling—but that goes for the entirety of your trip, too. “You’re on a ship on the ocean; you’re signing on for some movement,” Van Fleet says. “But my job is to make sure it’s an acceptable, safe amount that you can enjoy your vacation with.”

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• First Time Cruisers

Rough seas wave size how big is rough?

By Queenofthechickens , December 18, 2010 in First Time Cruisers

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Queenofthechickens

What size waves are considered rough seas for a 85,000+ ton ship?

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Generally, from 0-8 ft...you won't feel much....perhaps some slight movement. When seas get above 10 ft, you WILL feel movement....how much bothers you will depend on you! If seas get above 15 ft....you'll find walking up and down stairs a real feat! I wouldn't want to be on a ship if it gets rougher than that!

Of course, the frequency of the waves (how close together they are) will affect the "roughness" as well!

The answer is a bit more complicated than wave height. A ship that size can ride quite well in high waves as long as the ship is headed directly into the waves. A bigger issue is something called "long swells" which are somewhat different from waves and have a bigger impact on large vessels. Swells are usually the result of a distant storm and can make even the largest vessels move in an uncomfortable way (for those that do not like motion). And the tonnage of a ship does not always equate to motion. The highest seas we ever encountered was about 45 foot waves (and swells) caused by a hurricane (Hurricane Bob). Our ship, the old Meridian of Celebrity Lines, which was only 28,000 tons but she did fine in those high seas because she was designed with a deep V hull. Most modern cruise ships are somewhat top heavy with shallow drafts that enable them to get into many ports. Hence, in a strong wind they can become a huge wind vane which creates uncomfortable motion. If you want a ship that is designed for high seas you would probably enjoy the Queen Mary 2. As to most cruise ships, if the wind is blowing and the seas are churning you are going to get a good ride...if you like roller coasters. By the way, if you want to know what can happen to an 88000 ton ship in rough seas take a look at what happened to the Brilliance of the Seas (we love this ship) this week.

As Hank says, the QM2 is built for rough seas...she's the only liner sailing these days.

We've gone through the Bay of Biscay in tornado style weather, on a "block of flats", and found it quite exciting.....but I cut my teeth crossing the North Sea on old ferries.....:cool:

Nowadays, in the age of the behemoth ship, 85,000 ton is not all that big of a ship. But, the size of the ship might not make a difference when it comes to waves or swells. I've been on ships smaller than 85,000 ton and they weathered swells of 25 to 30 ft without much movement on the ship. Heck, we saw green water going over the windows on deck 6, but still barely felt nothing. Then I've been on some of the biggest ships out there, and even in relatively low swells, the ship was really rocking and rolling.

Like another poster said, it's more the swells and how a ship hits them rather than just waves that make a sea rough. But I would say that anything over 15 ft on a ship that doesn't handle swells, would give you quite a ride.

And then you have time of year and the sea/ocean you're sailing on. The far North Atlantic can be horrible in late Fall and all of winter. Sailing Drake's Passage, in South America, can be absolutely awful. But in reality, any open water can be rough at any given moment.

I agree with all of the other posts. We were in the North Sea one time (Ireland/Scotland Cruise) and in the middle of the night all of the plates, glasses, etc. flew right off the table. I got up to look to see how bad the waves were and had to hold on to the curtains. It was quite a ride. At least we didn't have to make and effort to roll over in bed.

We were in 7 - 10 footers going across the GOM and could feel it quite a bit. We were in 12 to 15 footers leaving Grand Cayman and could REALLY feel it and see it.

We were in 3 to 5 footers coming back across the GOM home, and couldnt feel it at all.

That was on the Conquest.

On the QM2 we were in ~15 foot waves (following a hurricane) and you could sense movement but it was never unpleasant.

15 foot waves are not bad on that type of ship. However once you have cruised in 40 foot+ seas than you understand what "rock and roll" really means.

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‘Biggest, baddest’ – but is it the cleanest? World’s largest cruise ship sets sail

Claims that Icon of the Seas, the vast new ship described as ‘human lasagne’, runs on clean fuel have been labelled greenwashing as LNG’s methane emissions are a more potent climate gas than CO 2

The largest cruise ship in the world, which embarks on its first commercial voyage from Miami on Saturday, was launched amid a fanfare of superlatives. Longer than the Eiffel Tower is tall, the Icon of the Seas towers 20 decks above the waves, can accommodate more than 7,000 passengers and crew, and, at a quarter of a million gross tonnes, could swallow five Titanics for breakfast.

Coloured slides on its upper deck mark out “Thrill Island”, the largest waterpark at sea, and it boasts a 17-metre (55ft) indoor waterfall. The president of Royal Caribbean, Jason Liberty, told reporters it was the “ biggest, baddest ship on the planet ”, though it quickly became known on social media as “human lasagne” .

Yet the launch of the huge vessel in Florida, one of many the same size or bigger that could be built in the next few years, has refocused attention on the impact on the planet of cruise tourism.

Various studies by environmental organisations, comparing the carbon footprint of a week-long holiday on a European cruise with taking a flight and staying in a hotel, concluded that such cruises were up eight times as carbon intensive .

Royal Caribbean has made much of the fact that Icon of the Seas runs on liquified natural gas (LNG), describing it as the “cleanest-burning marine fuel”. However, Bryan Comer, director of the International Council on Clean Transportation’s marine programme, says using such fuel shows an industry “investing in false climate solutions”.

“They are doubling down by calling LNG a green fuel when the engine is emitting 70 to 80% more greenhouse gas emissions per trip than if it used regular marine fuel,” he said. “Icon has the largest LNG tanks ever installed in a ship. It is greenwashing.”

Using LNG rather than other marine fuels cuts carbon dioxide emissions by a quarter. But a cruise ship using LNG emits more greenhouse gas emissions overall, because of something called “methane slip”, Comer said. This is where some gas is not burned, leading to emissions of methane, a climate gas far more potent than carbon dioxide. Methane traps about 80 times more heat than CO 2 during the 20 years after it is released into the atmosphere.

Ships should be using fuel cells and renewable hydrogen or methanol, which emit fewer greenhouse gases, he said.

When Icon was designed more than seven years ago, LNG was considered the “most promising fuel available at scale” said Nick Rose, a vice-president of Royal Caribbean.

“We consider it a transitional fuel that helps builds flexibility into our ship design and also helps us more easily adapt to different types of fuels as the market evolves and other scalable alternatives are introduced.”

Icon was built to accommodate fuel cells, which produce electricity without combustion, to be used to power the lifts, but the batteries have not been installed due to a problem with suppliers.

Rose said the company was committed to finding and implementing alternative energy sources, including fuel cells. “LNG is one part of our alternative fuel strategy, along with biofuels, methanol and other energy sources like shore power,” he said.

The vast ship has also been built to run on electricity supplied from shore when it is docked – a cleaner alternative to running highly polluting generators. Venice, Barcelona and Amsterdam are just three of the port cities to ban or curb cruise ships amid growing environmental and health concerns.

Marcie Keever, of Friends of the Earth US , said: “By building these megaships and using LNG, the cruise industry is moving in the wrong direction.

“Larger ships require more infrastructure at ports, destroying reefs and ecosystems in order to accommodate them.”

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• Carbon footprints

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I went on 2 of Royal Caribbean's largest and newest cruise ships. I enjoyed them, but they're not for everyone.

• I've sailed on Royal Caribbean's largest cruise ships , Wonder of the Seas and Icon of the Seas.
• Both megaships are jam-packed with people, amenities, and dining options.
• But if you want a quiet cruise to unique destinations, they might not be for you.

Before booking a vacation at sea, travelers should always research the best cruise line and ship for their needs.

If you're looking for a cheap and fast trip, try Margaritaville at Sea . Craving something more upscale? Consider Oceania Cruises.

But if you're looking for high-end sailing to unique destinations, I'd suggest avoiding Royal Caribbean's megaships .

Royal Caribbean has become synonymous with giant, family-friendly cruise ships

By 2028, Royal Caribbean wants one-third of its fleet to be megaships.

The latest addition, the 1,196-foot-long and 248,663-gross-ton Icon of the Seas, entered service in January, unseating Wonder of the Seas as the world's largest cruise liner.

Together, the two vessels can fit over 19,000 people — about 4,500 crew and 14,500 guests. Each ship has eight neighborhoods and there are 29 bars and 48 eateries between them.

I've attended complimentary sailings on both Wonder and Icon, the longest of which was three nights on the latter. From their colorful pool decks to the inescapable crowds, as a solo-adult traveler, I was equal parts entertained, overwhelmed, and overstimulated.

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But admittedly, I had fun. I do love a good waterslide; Wonder has three of them and Icon has six.

If you want to go on a cruise with your children — and if they, like me, love activities like rock climbing and mini golf — Royal Caribbean's megaships could be your best option.

Wonder and Icon are jam-packed with activity spaces like ice-skating rinks and ziplines.

But don't expect a peaceful retreat. The rowdy, bar-hopping adults and screaming children at the water playground aren't conducive to a relaxing vacation.

Megavessels might not be for you if you want a quiet cruise

If you want a relaxing vacation — maybe one that doesn't involve crowds of children — you shouldn't stay on either Royal Caribbean yacht.

There are many ways to have a luxury vacation on Icon of the Seas . But unless you want to pay for upcharged amenities at every turn, you'd be better off spending more upfront to reserve a premium cruise line — especially if you're interested in cruising for the destinations, not the ships.

After all, like most of Royal Caribbean's largest vessels, Icon and Wonder exclusively sail in the Caribbean.

Some destinations, such as French Polynesia, have set restrictions on which cruises can travel there amid concerns about pollution and overcrowding.

If stopping at these ports — or, really, anywhere outside the Caribbean — is at the top of your vacation wish list, you'll have to travel on a smaller Royal Caribbean ship or go with a different cruise line like Oceania , Silversea, and Regent Seven Seas.

You might not get a waterpark, but you'll get a quieter vacation to locations no megaship will likely be allowed to visit.

Watch: Inside the world's biggest cruise ship that just set sail

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Cruise-curious? Your cruise questions answered.

A s veterans of more than two dozen cruises, for work and for pleasure, we’ve learned a few things about the art of cruising. We’ve experienced the bad (sailing in circles off the coast of Spain since it was too rough to land in Mallorca) and the good (cruising past sparkling Paris after dark on the Seine). If you’re a never-ever who’s leaning toward the maybe-wannabe camp, or simply cruise-curious, you’ve got questions. We’ve got answers, thanks to Colleen McDaniel, editor in chief of Cruise Critic ( www.cruisecritic.com ), the online cruise reviews website. Here’s what to know before booking a cruise, and things we wish we’d known before we sailed.

Not long ago, a cruise arrived in Boston instead of the Bahamas. Amazingly, some folks were miffed. Does this kind of thing happen often?

While itinerary adjustments do happen, a significantly altered itinerary — like the Bahamas to New England in the winter — is extremely rare. Most times if an itinerary requires an adjustment, due to inclement weather or other instances, it will come in the form of a replaced port or extra sea day.

How far in advance should I book?

If you have specific needs or interests — strict vacation dates, specific cabin categories, or you want a certain ship — book as early as possible. You’ll be more likely to get exactly what you want. If you wait too late, those preferences may no longer be available. That’s particularly true now, as cruising is seeing a huge resurgence. Ships are sailing at — or sometimes above — capacity, and demand is through the roof.

If your plans are fluid, and you’re willing to wait a bit to see if fares fall, booking last-minute may deliver some lower base fares. Some lines will lower their prices when the sail date is three months away or less, to fill any cabins that are still available.

Any other advice for getting the best (cheapest) deal?

The period between when a cruise first goes on sale and about a year out from sailing is considered booking “early.” Fares at that time will generally be enticing, and lines may offer incentives like onboard credit, cabin upgrades, or complimentary beverage packages. Even if the fare isn’t base bottom, those incentives help you save a bundle on the overall cost of your cruise.

Another time to find added incentives are during traditional sale dates like Black Friday and Cyber Monday, plus a period known in the industry as Wave Season, from January through March. Lines offer deals and incentives across the board at this time, so you can shop and compare options all at once.

What about shoulder seasons?

Shoulder-season cruises will absolutely deliver more competitive fares. [For example, when the kids are in school and demand is lower.] But sometimes those lower fares are also due to potentially unfavorable experiences — whether it’s Europe in November [see Mallorca, above], or the Caribbean during hurricane season. Check out our guide, the Best Time to Go on a Cruise , for the best time to visit various cruise destinations across the globe.

Is it worth it to spring for the best cabin one can afford, or go for the cheapest cabin available?

The most expensive and the cheapest cabins book the fastest. There are benefits to both. Oftentimes the higher cabin categories, especially suites, come with benefits like access to special restaurants, exclusive pools, and so on. Having that experience is worth the splurge for some travelers.

If you’re looking for more space, or want a cabin with a window or balcony, keep those factors in mind when selecting a cabin, so you’ll be comfortable onboard.

But some people really don’t care about cabin type. They don’t plan to spend much time in their cabin, or they’d prefer to spend their money elsewhere on their cruise, such as specialty restaurants or shore excursions. If that’s you, booking an inside cabin may be a perfect fit.

Is there an advantage to booking with a cruise specialist?

A cruise vacation has many moving parts. It can be a complicated purchase for casual cruisers. Booking with a verified cruise specialist will help navigate that. They can also identify special savings and cost-savings measures. Working with these specialists is generally free-of-charge for travelers — the cruise lines cover the cost of commission.

Also, they provide a trusted pair of hands on the ground. Many times, it’s not just the cruise you’re booking, but also airfare and hotel reservations. Cruise specialists can assist with those bookings, and also assist with delayed or canceled flights and the trickle-down effect of those travel disruptions.

If you tend to get seasick, is an ocean cruise a bad idea?

Most large, ocean-going ships have stabilizers that help to provide the smoothest cruise possible. So, seasickness likely won’t be an issue on a large ship. Cabins located in the middle of the ship tend to be best for the seasick-prone, and outside or balcony cabins offer a way to steady yourself with the horizon or fresh air. Beyond that, look for itineraries with a limited number of sea days. This will mean more time in port, where you’re able to ground yourself.

Should one sign up for shore excursions offered by the cruise line, or DIY?

There are advantages to both. Cruisers often share that shore excursions offered by the cruise line are more expensive, but these [tour operators] are fully vetted by the cruise line. They are trusted entities. And if your ship-sponsored excursion runs late, the cruise line will wait for you to return to the ship. If you book an independent excursion that misses the boarding cutoff, the ship will leave without you.

Conversely, independently-booked excursions can be less costly, and offer a wider array of options. Sometimes they offer a more local touch, too. Many cruisers use our Cruise Critic Roll Calls to book independent excursions with fellow travelers who will be on their cruise, to share the cost. Independent excursions also might mean fewer people participating. Sometimes, ship-offered excursions mean big groups of people, which can be frustrating to some.

Asking for those who aren’t into wearing gowns and tuxedos — are formal nights still a part of the cruise experience?

Good news: The modern cruise experience reflects the interests of today’s traveler. That means many of those more “traditional” cruise elements are gone, or are no longer mandatory. We’re seeing lines become more relaxed about formal nights, either making them voluntary or removing them entirely. And many lines now offer flexible dining, a concept first introduced by Norwegian. You are no longer required to sit with strangers, you can choose where and when you dine.

There are also many more specialty restaurants outside of the main dining room, so dining options are far more varied than on yesteryear’s cruise ships. Hate lines? Look for smaller cruise ships. Want to sail without kids? Consider a line like Viking or Virgin, both of which are expressly for 18-year-olds and above.

The Spinoff

Society April 23, 2024

Why restore passenger rail has set its sights on stopping cruise ships.

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Climate activists are setting their sights on an unpopular target, and hoping to bring lots of the public with them.

It’s hard to miss the Majestic Princess: the enormous cruise ship, docked at Auckland’s Prince’s Wharf, looms over the nearby buildings. The ship, which can fit nearly 6,000 people, is 300 metres long, decorated with bright blue waves vibrating over the bow. The ferries that dart across the harbour, which seem otherwise spacious when they have several dozen people aboard, suddenly look tiny. 

Further down on Princes Wharf, among the Hilton hotel, the shadow of the cruise ship blocks the sun. As a customs announcement echoes across the concrete (“If you are carrying any meat or fresh fruit and vegetables, you may not bring them ashore”), a steady stream of passengers emerge, pulling enormous suitcases, blue stickers on their chests indicating their cabin numbers. One wears a t-shirt reading “Eat. Sleep. Cruise. Repeat.” Various purveyors of experiences – tours, buses, taxi drivers – hover, trying to compel passengers to come with them. 

Among them are several groups of protestors, with big orange signs. “End Luxury Emissions” reads one. Other protesters are greeting the passengers with a big smile. “Welcome to Tāmaki Makaurau, here’s some information.” Most people take a pamphlet, which bears an illustration of a cruise ship in the embrace of a penguin. Others avoid eye contact. One woman opens the pamphlet to see what’s inside: a brief cartoon illustrating how travelling by cruise ships emits three to four times as much as a plane covering the same distance, harms marine life and pollutes the water. “Oh, oh no!” she says, trying to hand it back. 

While only a few people have turned out for this Friday morning protest, there are certainly many more in the country who are unhappy with the frequency of large cruise ships. The Majestic Princess is Auckland’s last cruise ship for the season, but Auckland’s regular commuters have been irked by the hundreds of cancellations of ferry services caused by the slow, ponderous movement of enormous cruise ships through the harbour. 

It’s yet another example of how “luxury” travel is prioritised over everyday, essential travel – and sometimes at the ratepayers’ expense, says James Cockle, spokesperson for Climate Liberation Aotearoa . (If his name sounds familiar, it’s because he was the unsuccessful challenger to James Shaw’s Green Party leadership in 2021.) “People don’t realise how damaging cruise ships are – because no one needs to travel on a cruise ship, it can be one of the first things to tackle.” 

Cockle is wearing a sandwich board on the dock at the bow of the Majestic Princess, strolling around under a banner that reads “You Cruise, We Lose” – CLA’s catchphrase in its anti-cruise ship campaign. The board is a table, collecting poll responses from passersby, who can use Cockle’s pen to tick a box: Are you shitting your pants about the climate crisis? Moderately worried? Don’t care at all?

Climate Liberation Aotearoa is the new name of Restore Passenger Rail, the direct-action climate group that sprung out of Extinction Rebellion and made headlines for glueing themselves to roads and unfolding banners demanding – wouldn’t you know it – passenger rail last year. The reason for the pivot to cruise ships is clear: “We felt like under the new government we had little chance of making progress on passenger rail under road-centric leaders,” Cockle says. 

So the group has rebranded, regrouped, and set themselves another transport target: the enormous ships that come to New Zealand each summer, disgorging thousands of passengers. There’s certainly a line of logic from their direct actions last year – if people hate it when their transport is disrupted by visible actors, and cruise ships disrupt daily transport in most New Zealand cities in one way or another, then why not try to rally that energy into a movement that targets cruise ships? The target has shifted too, with the group focusing first on changing council emissions policy instead of focusing mainly on changing central government.

For instance, Cockle asks, why do councils run extra buses for cruise ship passengers when people who live somewhere permanently have to wait for infrequent services? Why are there train services in Dunedin for cruise ship passengers looking to go on a day trip, but no – back to a favourite topic – passenger rail for residents? Why do councils not count the emissions of the cruise ships they entice in their emissions calculations? 

This last point is particularly galling: the Climate Change Commission has said that including international shipping and aviation in climate targets is consistent with fighting climate change  although New Zealand doesn’t currently do this. Councils have climate targets too; after submissions from CLA and others, Christchurch City Council is investigating charging an environmental levy on visiting cruise ships, and potentially changing how emissions are calculated. 

While passenger rail – which Cockle notes is “overwhelmingly popular”, with an inquiry last year gaining more than 1,700 submissions – might not be on the table with the current government, transport remains a major contributor to Aotearoa’s carbon emissions, at around 18% of total emissions and 44% of energy related emissions (i.e., not methane produced by livestock). That’s without counting the carbon produced by shipping, cruises and international air travel. “I used to think that flying was worse than travelling by ship, but now I know it’s not,” says Caril Cowan, a climate activist protesting as part of CLA, here because she’s keen to take action to do something differently.

People who saw Restore Passenger Rail’s actions last year will be familiar with their approach. “We’ve seen that change is not made through marches and rallies, petitions and letters – we support those actions, but there’s a real need for disruption,” Cockle says. Demanding passenger rail looked like disrupting cars and buses, making a stand on motorways and spray-painting buildings; successfully attention raising but necessarily, and purposefully, unsettling for people wanting to go about their days. 

The tactics are similar in targeting cruise ships, but aimed instead at visitors. CLA have paddled in front of the Majestic Princess in Dunedin Harbour , dropped banners reading “cruise ships kill wildlife, nature and our future” in Zealandia when cruise ship visitors were there on a tour and blocked trams carrying cruise visitors in Christchurch . In trying to engage directly with passengers, using the pamphlets and having conversations with those who are interested, the protesters are hoping to change how people think about cruises. Cockle says that some conversations have been revelatory: a woman he spoke to at a Dunedin cruise stop burst into tears when talking to the protesters, describing her love of the natural world and her sadness that her grandchildren don’t want to have kids because of the climate. “It’s sad to see that, but it’s a response that makes sense to the climate crisis,” Cockle says. 

“A lot of people don’t know how many emissions they’re producing by going on a cruise,” says Tamati, a climate campaigner holding a sign. “I feel sad for the passengers – they think they’re on the cruise for their own good but they don’t see how they’re just being treated as cash for whoever owns the cruise company. They’re just captured.” Others handing out flyers express sympathy for the massive suitcases many passengers are hauling along the footpath, and the confusing signage that leads many fresh-off-the-boat passengers to stop in the middle of the dock, trying to figure out where to go.

In choosing to target cruise ships and their passengers, CLA have perhaps picked a cause that more people can get on board with. While cruise ships get lots of credit for being economic stimuli, Cockle notes that research has shown cruise ship visitors spend less than other tourists, making up 3% of tourism spend but about 9% of total visitors . Cruise passengers aren’t paying for accommodation – which is provided by their overseas-owned vessels – and are usually only in each destination for a day. They tend to only spend in select places: good if you’re a Louis Vuitton store on lower Queen Street, not so much if your business is located anywhere else. “Even if a business is relying on cruise ships, relying on something so unsustainable and unpredictable means they probably need to look at their business model again,” Cockle says. 

Cruise ships, many smaller than the Majestic Princess, made over 1,000 port stops around New Zealand throughout the summer, but fewer visits are expected next summer , which CLA is calling a win, even though it’s mostly due to high port costs rather than climate considerations. Overseas, though, the industry is enormous, and hard to change: each large ship costs hundreds of millions of dollars, meaning the industry is incentivised to make money from it as long as possible. The Majestic Princess, for instance, cost 600 million euros – and it’s only the world’s 49th biggest cruise ship . Against the scale of this industry, the 70-metre-long banner CLA has been unfolding on the hillsides of ports when boats have been visiting seems tiny; as do the protesters in Auckland, not much more than a dozen, against the flow of disembarking passengers and the hulk of the ship itself, a skyscraper floating in the water.

Big ships might be hard to turn, but CLA firmly believes that it’s still possible. “We know it’s not enough to solve the problem on its own, but we think of it as the first pebble in an avalanche of destructive action as people stare down the devastating effects of climate change,” Cockle says. Or, to pick a more nautical metaphor: barnacles might be small, but enough of them can damage even the biggest of boats . 

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The protesters are smiling as they hand the leaflets out, exuding the warm confidence of people who know that a problem exists and have chosen to take action to fix it. But what do the passengers think? 

I talk to S.B., a Singaporean man who has been on several cruises but has been particularly blown away by the beauty of Aotearoa. “Cruises are more relaxing than other holidays, you don’t have to haul yourself around.” He hasn’t noticed the protesters at previous cruise stops, although CLA has been following the Majestic Princess and the Ovation of the Seas, the final ships of the season, through the country. “I don’t know much about cruise emissions – aeroplanes are bad also, cruises are bad, you may as well just enjoy,” he says. 

Another couple, Kris and her husband, are waiting for a taxi. “Oh, we’ve done loads of cruising, I like it because I don’t have to lift a finger,” Kris says. The pair flew from London to Sydney to board the cruise. I ask Kris’s husband what he thinks of the protesters, and the emissions and pollution concerns about cruises. He shakes his head. “A lot more countries put in a lot more pollution than we do; if you say you have to reduce, reduce, reduce, then –” But their taxi is here, and Kris is hustling him and their two heaving suitcases away into the car before he can finish his thought. 

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Breaking news, cruise ship industry is booming despite spate of high-seas deaths.

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It’s full steam ahead for the cruise ship industry after Royal Caribbean hiked its full-year profit guidance on Thursday, saying it expects 60% growth from last year following record bookings during the first quarter.

Travelers are paying “record ticket prices,” according to Royal Caribbean — despite a recent spate of high-sea deaths and missing passengers reports, including a Florida 20-year-old who jumped off a Royal Caribbean cruise this month.

Soaring demand for vacations at sea has given cruise operators ample room to raise ticket prices as the industry looks to close the pricing gap between more expensive land-based holidays and give their profits a lift.

Royal Caribbean, which operates the Celebrity Cruises, now expects annual profits of between $10.70 and $10.90 per share, compared with its earlier forecast of $9.90 to $10.10.

“Our existing fleet along with our new ships continue to perform exceptionally well, highlighted by the market response to the launch of Icon of the Seas,” CEO Jason Liberty said.

Royal Caribbean’s shares — which have spiked 126% in the past year, were up 2% on Thursday morning, to $139.32.

“I remember owning the stock in 2022 and every client was giving me grief about it,” said Peter Ahluwalia, manager at Belinvest Global Equity Fund that holds Royal Caribbean stocks and chief investment officer at Swiss Partners Group. “We’re turning almost 45% return on equity at the moment, which is quite incredible.”

Overall, the industry which was among the hardest hit during the pandemic, is expected to grow to 39.4 million passengers in 2027 from 31.7 million last year, according to Statista.

The surge in demand comes amid major publicity blows from incidents at sea involving passengers who have gone missing, including the Florida man who jumped overboard on April 4 in front of his brother and father after a night of drinking.

Last December, a 41-year-old Royal Caribbean passenger went overboard on a cruise to the Bahamas. That followed an incident last August involving a 64 year-old woman sailing from Singapore to Malaysia on Royal Caribbean who is presumed to have jumped to her death .

On average, 19 people go overboard on cruise ships every year — and of those, only about four are rescued, according to a 2020 study commissioned by the industry trade group Cruise Lines International Association.

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In Search of America Aboard the Icon of the Seas

Twenty decks, seven swimming pools, and one novelist wearing a meatball T-shirt

In January, the writer Gary Shteyngart spent a week of his life on the inaugural voyage of the Icon of the Seas, the largest cruise ship ever. Like many a great novelist before him , he went in search of the “real” America. He left his Russian novels at home, bought some novelty T-shirts, and psychically prepared to be the life of the party. About halfway through, Shteyngart called his editor and begged to be allowed to disembark and fly home. His desperate plea was rejected, resulting in a semi-sarcastic daily log of his misery .

In this episode of Radio Atlantic , Shteyngart discusses his “seven agonizing nights” on the cruise ship, where he roamed from mall to bar to infinity pool trying to make friends. He shares his theories about why cruise lovers nurture an almost spiritual devotion to an experience that, to him, inspires material for a “low-rent White Lotus. ” And he shares what happened when cruise lovers actually read what he wrote about their beloved ship.

Listen to the conversation here:

Subscribe here: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube | Google Podcasts | Pocket Casts

The following is a transcript of the episode:

Gary Shteyngart: Hi.

Hanna Rosin: Hi. It’s Hanna.

Shteyngart: Hi, Hanna. How are you?

Rosin: Good.

Rosin: I’m Hanna Rosin. This is Radio Atlantic .

Shteyngart: It’s cloudy here.

Rosin: It is? In a good way? In a way that makes your hair look full and rich?

Shteyngart: Oh, yeah. ( Laughs. ) It does add fullness to my hair, which is always a good thing at this point. I think spring has finally sprung. And I teach in the spring semester, and I’m like, God, I just want this to be over. I just want to go out and play .

Rosin: You teach fiction?

Shteyngart: Yeah. I can’t teach rocket science.

Rosin: ( Laughs. )

Shteyngart: Cruising technology.

Rosin: This is writer Gary Shteyngart.

Rosin: There’s just a Russian stereotype.

Shteyngart: ( Laughs. )

Rosin: I’m like, You could teach astronomy or physics . I don’t know.

Shteyngart: Chess.

Rosin: Chess. Exactly.

Rosin: Gary Shteyngart grew up in the Soviet Union and immigrated to the U.S. when he was 7. He’s written several award-winning novels, and he was a “literary consultant” on Succession , the HBO show.

Mostly, he is known for his satire, which can range from gentle to deadly. So who better to write an article about the inaugural voyage of the largest cruise ship ever built?

Shteyngart: This whole thing came about because I was on Twitter, and I saw a tweet that just showed the—may I use salty language here?

Rosin: Yes.

Shteyngart: The ass of the ship is how I describe it. I don’t know any of these terms, but, you know, with all the water parks and crap on it. And so I reposted the tweet, and I said, If somebody wants to send me on this cruise, please specify the level of sarcasm desired .

Rosin: Really? ( Laughs. )

Shteyngart: And then—God bless The Atlantic —within seconds, I had an assignment.

Rosin: That ass belongs to the Icon of the Seas, a ship that can hold more than 7,000 passengers and 2,000 crew. It has 20 decks with seven swimming pools and six waterslides. The ship itself is about five times bigger than the Titanic. And I’m pretty sure the Titanic did not have a swim-up bar, much less the world’s largest swim-up bar.

In a recent piece for The Atlantic , Gary describes it this way: “The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots … This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.”

To prepare for that voyage, Gary wore a meatball T-shirt he found in a store in Little Italy. More specifically, the shirt read: “Daddy’s Little Meatball.”

Shteyngart: You know, I grew up in Queens and, being a spicy meat-a-ball , I thought it was funny. A lot of cruisers were angry. They thought I was being sexual or sexualizing. It’s very interesting because I thought that T-shirt was the bond between a child and his daddy or her daddy.

Rosin: ( Laughs. ) You thought it’d just be a conversation starter.

Shteyngart: I thought it’d be a conversation starter. If they had a “Mommy’s Little Meatball” T-shirt, that would’ve been preferable. I feel much more a mommy’s little meatball. But they only have daddy.

I actually thought, My expectations are low, but I bet I’m going to run into awesome people. And I love to drink and chat, and this is—I guess that’s what you do on a cruise ship. And I knew I was going to have a suite, so I was like, Maybe I’ll throw a suite party .

Shteyngart: Invite some people over . On land, I really am quite sociable. I remember I was just leaving a Columbia—I teach at Columbia—leaving a Columbia party, and somebody was saying, Well, there goes 75 percent of the party .

Rosin: Oh, that’s a compliment.

Shteyngart: It’s a compliment. I’m kind of a party animal. So I was super—I thought, you know, Look, 5,000 people. I’m going to find a soulmate or two .

Rosin: Great writers before Gary have deluded themselves in this way before. Most notably: David Foster Wallace, who ended up spending much of his cruise adventure alone in his cabin. They venture out, looking to swim with some “real Americans.” And instead, they are quickly confronted by the close-up details, like the nightly entertainment—

Shteyngart: There was a kind of packaged weirdness in the shows. Goddamn—the ice-skating tribute to the periodic table. What the hell was that?

Rosin: The food—

Shteyngart: It did not have the consistency of steak. It was like some kind of pleathery, weird—like this poor cow had been slapped around before it died.

Rosin: And the physical touch of an actual “real American.”

Shteyngart: He’d throw his arms around them drunkenly, and they’d be like, Ehh .

First of all, I just want to say, Royal Caribbean—the people that run it are geniuses. The CEO’s name is—I’m not making this up—Jason Liberty.

Shteyngart: His name is Liberty! I mean, I don’t know. What the hell? Like, exactly, if I was to write a novel character with, you know, Jason Liberty , people would be like, Oh, he’s being pretentious . But no. That’s his actual name.

I think they know the tastes of their clientele so well and are able to mirror it back to them, but also to give them this feeling that they’re awesome for doing something like this. One of my favorite slogans—you get all this literature— This isn’t a vacation day spent. It’s bragging rights earned .

Rosin: Mmm. It’s velvet ropey, like you’re in a club.

Shteyngart: It’s a velvet ropey situation. You are an adventurer. You’ve earned this. You have bragging rights. But when you enter the ship, you’re in a mall. And the mall is large and multileveled, and you can buy a Rolex at three times what it would cost on land and all this other crap.

And then there’s all these neighborhoods, and you can do whatever the hell you want. You can get trashed or have sex, which, whatever—I mean with your spouse, although there were some swingers on board. But you could do whatever you want in a way that you can’t on land, in a way, I think, because so many of these people are just working their asses off.

Rosin: Right.

Shteyngart: That was a topic of conversation that came up. People were like, Yeah, I work 90 hours a week, and this is my chance to just, you know, be blotto .

Rosin: You’re hinting at this. Part of being on a ship is being inducted into the language and the levels of the ship, and can you walk us through that? You mentioned, for example: You walk in, you’re in a mall. But I bet, eventually, you start to see more. What are the neighborhoods? You said the word neighborhoods . What does that even mean? And what are the distinctions?

Shteyngart: I think this ship and other Royal Caribbean ships of this size—although this is the biggest—try to create this idea of a city, like you’re in a city that happens to be at sea.

One of the funniest neighborhoods is called Central Park, which is literally another mall but with a couple of shrubs growing out here and there. I thought that was really funny—also, using a New York City landmark in one of the least New Yorkiest milieus in the world.

Rosin: I guess it just has to be terms—a word—people recognize. And people vaguely recognize it. They don’t need to know about Olmsted or live in Brooklyn.

Shteyngart: ( Laughs. ) No, no.

Rosin: They just vaguely recognize Central Park.

Shteyngart: It’d be funny if I asked—boy, would I get a lot of flak if I came up to a cruiser and be like, I don’t think this really matches Olmsted’s vision of Central Park. I don’t know. Meatball not happy . Maybe I should have used a Russian accent. Like, Hello. I am Meatball .

Rosin: Meatball not happy .

Shteyngart: Meatball not happy with Olmsted . So there’s that. There’s Surfside, which is a very funny kind of Disneyland for kids with—

Rosin: And are you walking—like, I still don’t get it. So you go in, and how big is a neighborhood? And then how do you get to the next neighborhood?

Shteyngart: Right, so everything’s on decks, so you take these elevators. I think I spent half the cruise on elevators just going from one place to another.

Rosin: Yeah.

Shteyngart: But I thought I would be in the Suites neighborhood. Because this whole thing—and Royal Caribbean is also brilliant at this. These people—really, a Nobel Prize in Economics. It’s a constant scramble. You constantly want a higher status, especially if you’ve been cruising forever. You want to reach Pinnacle status, which you have to do after 700 days (or nights, rather) on the ship, which is two years, right? Almost.

Rosin: Wow. And so what does that get you?

Shteyngart: So the Pinnacles have their own—I mean, there’s some priority things they get. Like, I was not allowed to go into one dining room at one point, and the guy—I didn’t know what Pinnacle was, so I thought the guy was saying, It’s just pendejo dining . He had a thick accent. I was like, I’m wearing a meatball T-shirt. I am the essence of pendejo . And he was like, No, no, pendejos only . But he was trying to say Pinnacles, I guess. So that kind of stuff.

They have their own little lounge, which I wasn’t allowed into. And some of the other cruisers who are not Pinnacles but have somehow gotten into the lounge, they’re very angry about being denied. And they’re like, There’s nothing in there. There’s just a coffee machine in there .

But the other thing is the suite status, which I had because by the time The Atlantic commissioned this piece, almost all the cabins were sold out. Everybody wanted to be on this ship, and all that was left was a $19,000—Jesus Christ—$19,000 suite that didn’t even look out on the sea.

Rosin: Wow.

Shteyngart: It looked out on the mall or whatever. But it looked like the Marriott, in a way, which—I like Marriotts—I’m just saying.

Rosin: So it’s just a plain—it’s like a hotel room.

Shteyngart: It’s like a hotel room.

Rosin: With a window.

Shteyngart: And I had two bathrooms.

Rosin: For yourself?

Shteyngart: Just for myself, I know. Well, I think the idea of these suites is that more than one person goes on them, right?

But there’s this—the Royal Bling. The Royal Bling is the jewelry store, such as it is, on board. And they introduced this thing called the something chalice. It’s a $100,000 chalice, and it entitles you to drink for free on Royal Caribbean once you’ve bought it.

So this thing is hilarious. Just the concept of it is insane. Everyone’s trying to figure out: Should I buy this? What’s up with this? Should I get it for my 28-year-old kid? Will it earn out? How much does he drink? How much can I drink ?

So I talked to the wonderful Serbian sales lady. Everyone’s country of origin, if you’re on the crew, is listed on their tag.

Rosin: Really?

Shteyngart: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rosin: That’s weird.

Shteyngart: So you’re like, Oh, it’s Amir from Pakistan , or whatever.

Rosin: That’s so weird.

Shteyngart: Yeah. And she was, I don’t know, something Olga from Serbia, and she was amazing. They’re all amazing. Every crew member is excellent.

And she was like, Well —she was trying to sell me the $100,000 chalice. I said, It’s really gold ? And she’s like, No, it’s gold-plated. We couldn’t afford . She said, If it was really gold, it would be, like, a million dollars . I’m like, Okay . And then it has diamonds, and she’s like, Well, they’re actually cubic zirconia, again, because it would cost, like, $10 million if they were diamonds . I’m like, All right, this thing is sounding worse and worse .

And then she said, But, you know, if you already have everything, this is one more thing you can have . And I thought that was almost like a Zen haiku, but about the American condition. If you already have everything, this is one more thing you can have.

Rosin: So the ship has neighborhoods and levels and status in a very explicit way. And cruisers care about that. They care about it in a very deep, almost spiritual way that Gary didn’t quite appreciate until after he’d written the story.

Shteyngart: One of the funniest things—somebody was telling me to look this up on, I guess, Reddit.

Rosin: Mm-hmm.

Shteyngart: There’s a huge cruising community. I think half a million people are on that thing and, boy, were they pissed!

Rosin : That’s after the break.

Rosin: During his time on the Icon of the Seas, Gary Shteyngart met a few memorable characters. There was the younger couple he called, “Mr. and Mrs. Ayn Rand,” who he drank with a few times. And the couple’s couple friends, he described as quote: “bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel.” And then, there was “Duck Necklace.”

Shteyngart: He’s fascinating. He was drunk all the time, and he was being arrested—there is a security force—for photobombing.

Rosin: I wonder if the laws are different on the ship. Like photobombing is a felony.

Shteyngart: I’d love to do Law & Order: Icon of the Seas . That would be amazing.

Rosin: ( Laughs. ) Right.

Shteyngart: But then he went on this long, drunken, very elegiac thing about, Well, I’m 62, and if I fall off the ship, I’m fine with that. I just don’t want a shark to eat me. And I believe in God, and the Mayans have a prophecy . He just went on and on. And then I looked him up and, when not drunk and getting arrested on a ship, he’s the pillar of his community in North Chicago. There’s so much more to this guy. So he was my favorite, I think.

Rosin: So maybe the ship creates a space where, if you’re grinding and working every day and being a pillar of the community, the ship is your space to contemplate and be philosophical or be an idiot or whatever it is you can’t be elsewhere.

Shteyngart: Yeah. And I think you’re right. And I think a couple of people, especially older people—I mean, 62 isn’t that old—but a couple of the older people were trying to summarize their lives through their cruising experiences, including, for one woman, realizing that she wanted to divorce her husband. All these things happened on cruises.

It’s like the cruise is the time when they’re—the way people say when you’re off land, it’s the rules of the sea. You’re in international waters; you can do whatever you want. I think for some people, the cruise affords them some weird way to look back on their lives and to make large decisions or to celebrate either happy moments or sometimes almost-elegiac moments. There were all these people who looked like they were about to die.

Rosin: Literally?

Shteyngart: Literally about to die, clearly coming off of chemo or on an oxygen tank. Or they had T-shirts celebrating a good cancer remission. So definitely there’s—and I hope this article, despite its very satirical tone, lends some of that poignancy. Because people are people, and this is the kind of stuff that they want to do, either to make an important moment in their lives or to think on the things that have happened to them.

But I think that’s one of the reasons people were so butt hurt on that Reddit—to use a term of art—because I wasn’t just going after a hobby or something. I was going after something that is so key to their identity.

Rosin: That’s interesting that people perceived it so badly. You both appreciated the earnestness of it and made fun of it at the same time. It was satirical but also present.

Shteyngart: I don’t know. I think people really wanted a quote-unquote “journalist” to give an honest review of the ship. But look, I got this assignment by saying, What level of sarcasm do you want ? But I didn’t deliver 11 on the sarcasm scale. I think it was, like, six or seven.

I realized the humor part of this—and this is what I talk about in my humor class—the human comedy is that no one understands quite who they are. So I may go around thinking I’m a giraffe, and I keep talking about, Oh, I’m so tall, and I eat leaves off of tall trees . But in reality, I’m an aardvark. I’m a small furry creature, burrowing in the bush.

And that, to me, felt like a lot of what people were saying on the ship. People would say, I feel like I’m on an adventure . And I’m like, Yes, but we’re in a mall, as you say this, that’s slowly steaming to all these islands . But many of the passengers wouldn’t even get off on these islands. They love the ship so much they wouldn’t leave.

And I’ll say this, also: One of the most important things that happened to me—I was in Charlotte Amalie, which I guess is the capital of the U.S. Virgin Islands or Saint Thomas, and I’d wandered off the beaten path. And this elderly Rastafarian gentleman looked at me, and with the most—I’ve never been talked to like this—but with a sneer beyond anything, he said, Redneck .

And I guess I did have a red neck at this point, and I was wearing this vibrant cap with the Icon of the Seas Royal Caribbean logo. But I realized, also, that people hate these cruisers. They hate what they do to their islands, their environment, everything. There’s just so much more happening here than just a bunch of drunken Americans on a ship.

And this also goes to the fact that, obviously, there’s all these people, mostly from the global South, working below decks. They work nonstop. And it’s interesting because a lot of the passengers, they would say, Wow, these people work so hard , with a kind of like, Oh, I wish everybody back home would work so hard , or something like that. But at the same time, I was listening to a comedy act, and the comedian was making fun of quote-unquote “shithole countries.”

So there’s definitely a kind of—even though cruisers keep talking about how much they love the people on the ship, it doesn’t translate.

Rosin: It doesn’t translate. It doesn’t translate into politics.

Okay, I’m turning it back on you—your story. You came into the boat with the story that Gary is a party guy, and Gary’s gonna have parties in Gary’s suite. So what did you realize along the way?

Shteyngart: Yeah, it was like being an immigrant all over again. And, for me, assimilation into America was a very, very long process. So the meatball, or the lack of success of the meatball, really reminded me of that, too—like I’m always a step behind.

And this did feel like, Oh, I was always a step behind . People would have casual conversations in the elevators, just shooting the shit, and I would try to banter with them. But I would always get it a little bit wrong, and I would realize it, too. Like, there was a lot of wind one day, and I was like, Oof, the frost is really on the pumpkin .

Shteyngart: But I realized that that’s probably said in the fall, right? Before Thanksgiving. Is that right? The pumpkin is, you know—

Rosin: So Immigrant Gary comes roaring back in those moments.

Shteyngart: Oh, my god.

Rosin: You want to be, like, Sophisticated Writer Gary.

Shteyngart: Absolutely. So I was always sweating bullets. Like, I want to get into the conversation. And this was a big thing because there was a big contest, several contests—the semifinals or something? Quarterfinals? I don’t know—between the big teams. And I had no idea what the hell was going on, but everybody was talking about it. And everybody was wearing paraphernalia—that’s the other thing.

Rosin: Paraphernalia. ( Laughs. ) You’re referring to team T-shirts.

Shteyngart: But also everything! I don’t know. Name it: hats, T-shirts, all kinds of crap. And I had nothing. I had meatball, you know.

Shteyngart: Look, the preparation for this article should have—I should have bought T-shirts with sports.

Rosin: ( Laughs. ) T-shirts with sports.

Shteyngart: And then I should have talked to people about all the rules of football. Maybe there’s a documentary that I can watch, something like that. And then maybe that would have been it.

Rosin: Okay, so I’m reading this essay about this cruise ship, which has a little bit of politics, a little bit of cult, a little bit of status obsession. What am I understanding about America?

Shteyngart: Well, I think we are, in some ways, a country that has been losing religion for a while. I know this is a strange approach to it, but people are looking for something to fill the void. Especially, among the hardworking middle class I think is where you feel it quite a bit. And I think because Americans are never satisfied, everyone’s always looking for, What’s my ancestry? Where do I come from ? Somehow just the term American is not enough to fulfill people’s expectations of what life is.

Rosin: Of what they belong to. Like, what they’re rooted in. Yeah.

Shteyngart: And for me, this is an easier question because I actually just want to be an American. I’m an immigrant who just wants to be an American, right?

So, on this ship, what I was seeing was people desperately trying to belong to some kind of idea. And I feel like the cruising life, because these people are so obsessed with the cruises that they wear these—half the people or more were wearing T-shirts somehow commemorating this voyage on the first day of the cruise. So I think I really offended a religion. I insulted not just a strange hobby that people engage in, but a way of life.

And I think that’s the future. Trying to understand America today is to try to understand people desperately grasping for something in the absence of more traditional ideas of what it means to an American, right? And this is one strange manifestation of that. But it was, for me, an ultimately unfulfilling one.

You know, God bless David Foster Wallace for being brilliant enough to start the genre, although there were a couple pieces before him, but the modern incarnation of this. Let’s stop this. I did not solve the question of what America is. None of that got solved.

Rosin: So what are we R.I.P.ing? We’re not just R.I.P.ing the cruise ship piece? I just want to end the episode this way. R.I.P. what?

Shteyngart: No, no, no, no. I don’t have that kind of cultural might.

Rosin: This episode of Radio Atlantic was produced by Jinae West. It was edited by Claudine Ebeid, fact-checked by Isabel Cristo, and engineered by Rob Smierciak. Claudine Ebeid is the executive producer of Atlantic audio, and Andrea Valdez is our managing editor. I’m Hanna Rosin. Thank you for listening.

Rosin: But was there a monkey on the ship?

Shteyngart: No, there wasn’t. The monkey was on Saint Kitts.

Rosin: Oh, okay. I remembered that wrong.

Shteyngart: No, no, no. The Royal Caribbean did not spring for a monkey. They had a golden retriever, and he wore, like, a cap or something? But see, so everybody was going gaga, and I’m like, You’ve never seen a golden freaking retriever? What kind of lives do you live on land ?

Rosin: Right, right. But it’s an Icon golden retriever, so it’s different.

Shteyngart: It’s an Icon golden retriever, and he’s, like, I guess, an emotional support dog for these people.