royal caribbean bermuda cruise covid

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HEALTH AND TRAVEL ALERTS

You may have been watching the news and have some concerns about your February 7th, 2020 sailing. We appreciate the CDC’s abundance of caution and their partnership. 

None of the four guests being tested by CDC showed any clinical signs or symptoms of coronavirus. One had tested positive onboard for Influenza A. Our records indicate the guests had not been in China since January 26. 

We have also been cleared by authorities to depart, as usual. However, to reassure concerned guests, we will delay our departure ‪until Saturday, February 8th, 2020, when we will receive the conclusive test results from CDC.

We know that you may be anxious about boarding the ship – we’re anxious too! So, we’ve decided to push our boarding to February 8 th , 2020, at  5:00 PM EST,  while we wait for the results from the CDC.

We’ve also made adjustments to our itinerary, which can be found below:

We’ll set sail from Cape Liberty at 10:00 PM on Saturday, February 8th instead of 3:00 PM on Friday, February 7th. Additionally, our visit to Port Canaveral will now be on February 11th from from 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM and to Perfect Day at CocoCay on February 12th from 8:00 AM to 6:00 PM. Unfortunately, we’ll be unable to visit Nassau, Bahamas.

Given that we have shortened the sailing and modified the itinerary, you’ll receive a 2-day refund in the form of an onboard credit. Plus a pro-rated credit, in the value of 2 days, for any pre-purchased packages such as beverage, internet, or dining. Both credits will be added to your Onboard Account and can be used anywhere on the ship.

Please also take a minute to review our screening and boarding protocols. We have been working with medical experts, public health authorities, and local governments, and in alignment with new stricter CDC protocols, we are tightening our measures to protect guests and crew. These steps are intentionally conservative, and we apologize that they will inconvenience some of our guests.

Until further notice, all ships in the Royal Caribbean Cruises Ltd. fleet will adopt these health screening protocols:

COVID-19 Travel Update

An inherent risk of exposure to COVID-19 exists in any public place where people gather. Due to evolving health protocols, certain onboard and destination experiences, offerings, features, or itineraries may not be available during your voyage, may vary by ship and destination, and may be subject to change without notice. Imagery and messaging on the Royal Caribbean website and other company advertising may not accurately reflect experiences that are currently unavailable or otherwise impacted by evolving health protocols.

Cancelled Sailings

Last updated january 7th, 2022.

As a result of the ongoing COVID-related circumstances around the world, and in an abundance of caution, Royal Caribbean International is pausing operations for the following ships:

• Vision of the Seas’ return to cruising is postponed until March 7, 2022

• Serenade of the Seas sailings from January 8 – March 5, returning after dry dock on April 26, 2022

• Jewel of the Seas sailings from January 9 – February 12, returning on February 20, 2022

• Symphony of the Seas sailings from January 8 – January 22, returning on January 29, 2022

We regret having to cancel our guests’ long-awaited vacations and appreciate their loyalty and understanding. Our top priority is always the well-being of our guests, our crew and the communities we visit.

Global Suspension Refund Update

As we went into our global suspension of sailings, we initially estimated that refunds would take 30 days. Unfortunately, with an unprecedented volume of refunds and credits, we are delayed. We’ve worked diligently to resolve most of the volume issues and are working around the clock to address the backlog to get you your refund, as quickly possible. Currently, some refunds are taking up to 45 days from the date requested.

Please know that each and every request is receiving the same level of care and dedication. And rest assured, your refund will be honored and it is coming – it’s just taking a little longer than expected and we’re very sorry about that. We thank you for your patience and understanding during this time.

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Press Releases

Covid-19 health screening and boarding protocols.

Thursday, March 19, 2020

We are closely monitoring global developments regarding the coronavirus (COVID-19), and we are being proactive when it comes to protecting the health of our guests, crew, and the communities where we sail. 

To comply with guidance from CDC, WHO, public health authorities around the world, and the Cruise Lines International Association (CLIA), we are enhancing our rigorous global boarding and screening measures to protect our guests and crew. These measures are intentionally conservative and apply to anyone boarding our ships, guests and crew alike. We apologize for the inconvenience created by these precautionary measures.

These temporary safety precautions will remain in place for a projected period of 30 days and will continued to be reviewed daily. Updates will be posted daily on this website. Until further notice, all ships in the Royal Caribbean Cruises Ltd. fleet will adopt the following health screening protocols: 

Mandatory temperature screenings using digital, non-touch scanners are being conducted with guests, crewmembers, and visitors on embarkation day prior to boarding any vessel. If temperature registers about 100.4°F (38°C), the person and his/her travel companions will be referred to a secondary health screening. Guests who are denied boarding due to screening results will receive compensation.

COVID-19 presents the most serious health risks to older individuals, the immunocompromised, and those with serious, underlying medical conditions.  Therefore, 

• Effective Monday, March 16, boarding will be denied to any person age 70 or older, unless the guest provides written verification from a qualified treating physician that certifies the person has no severe, chronic medical condition and is fit to travel.
• Effective Friday, March 13, boarding will be denied to any person with a severe, chronic medical condition, including those specified by the CDC. Guests of all ages will be screened prior to boarding, regarding underlying health issues that may prevent them from sailing, i.e.  chronic heart, lung, liver, or kidney disease, diabetes, HIV/AIDS, or cancer.

Regardless of nationality, boarding will be denied to:

• Any person who has traveled from, to or through mainland China, Hong Kong, Macau, Europe (for list of European countries see https://presscenter.rclcorporate.com/press-release/80/schengen-area-countries/ ), Iran, or South Korea 15 days prior to embarkation.
• Any person who has come in contact with anyone with 15-day prior travel to mainland China, Hong Kong, Macau, Europe (for list of European countries see https://presscenter.rclcorporate.com/press-release/80/schengen-area-countries/ ), Iran, or South Korea. The CDC characterizes contact with an individual as coming within six feet (2M) of a person.
• Any person who within 15 days prior to embarkation, has had contact with, or helped care for, anyone suspected or diagnosed as having COVID-19, or who are currently subject to health monitoring for possible exposure to COVID-19.
• For Caribbean Itineraries Only: The above parameters will also include Japan, Singapore and Taiwan, along with travel or contact occurring 21 days prior to embarkation.

Secondary, enhanced health screenings will be performed on:

• Any person who reports feeling unwell or displays flu-like symptoms.
• Any person who has traveled from, to or through Japan or Thailand in the 15 days prior to embarkation.
• Any person who is uncertain about contact with individuals who have traveled in the 15 days prior to embarkation from, to or through mainland China, Hong Kong, Macau, Europe (for list of European countries see https://presscenter.rclcorporate.com/press-release/80/schengen-area-countries/ ), Iran, South Korea, Japan, or Thailand.
• For Caribbean Itineraries Only: Secondary health screening parameters will include the country of Thailand for travel or contact occurring 21 days prior to embarkation.

In some cases, guests presenting certain symptoms in the specialized health screenings may be denied boarding.

All guests who are denied boarding due to these restrictions will receive compensation.

Additional restrictions may be imposed based on local circumstances. For example, certain countries may deny visas or prohibit entry based on travel history or nationality.

We have rigorous medical protocols in place to help guests and crew members who feel unwell while sailing. Our protocols include professional medical treatment; isolation of unwell individuals from the general ship population; and intensified ship cleaning, air filtration, and sanitization procedures.

We are assessing developments constantly and will update these measures as needed. Guests with questions may contact the customer care departments of our individual cruise lines or their travel professionals.

For the latest travel advisories from the CDC or U.S. State Department, please visit: https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/page/covid-19-cruise-ship or https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/international-travel/before-you-go/travelers-with-special-considerations/cruise-ship-passengers.html .

Eager to cruise again? Royal Caribbean adding Bermuda, Bahamas cruises this summer for vaccinated vacationers

Royal Caribbean International  is resuming cruises aimed at U.S. vacationers this summer – with a twist.

The cruises will depart from Bermuda and the Bahamas, and adult passengers must be vaccinated against COVID-19. Passengers under 18 will be able to sail with a negative coronavirus test. Crew members will also be vaccinated.

The new cruises:

► A seven-night cruise departing from Nassau, the Bahamas, beginning June 12, on  Adventure of the Seas . Bookings open Wednesday for sailings through Aug. 31. The Bahamas itineraries will feature island hopping with two days spent back to back at Royal Caribbean's private island Perfect Day at CocoCay along with time spent in Grand Bahama Island and Cozumel, Mexico.

► A seven-night cruise departing from Bermuda on Vision of the Seas beginning as early as June 26, the cruise line said  Tuesday. The itinerary will also include CocoCay. Reservations begin March 29.

Michael Bayley, president and CEO of Royal Caribbean International, said in a statement on the Bahamas cruises that the company is looking forward to returning to the Caribbean "gradually and safely."

"The vaccines are clearly a game-changer for all of us, and with the number of vaccinations and their impact growing rapidly, we believe starting with cruises for vaccinated adult guests and crew is the right choice," Bayley said, noting that vaccine requirements and other safety measures are expected to evolve.

President Joe Biden directed states to make COVID-19 vaccines available to all American adults no later than May 1 . 

A return to sailing date in U.S. waters and whether vaccines will be required on vessels departing from the U.S. have not been made clear by Royal Caribbean.

"That is still under consideration," Lyan Sierra-Caro, spokesperson for the cruise line, told USA TODAY. "We will continue to follow the science, and we will evolve alongside the data."

When will it be safe to cruise again?  These signs that will help you decide when to sail

Alaska officials propose: 'Alaska Tourism Recovery Act' to aid cruise, tourism industry amid Canada's COVID concerns

Royal Caribbean said in a release that it also would implement its Healthy Sail Panel Recommendations on the new cruises, including face coverings, temperature checks and testing, with additional details on health and safety to come soon.

It's the first time the cruise line will launch cruises from the Bahamas and Bermuda.

"We are grateful for the confidence that they have in us and our commitment to a healthy and happy return to sailing," Bayley said.

In addition to meeting Royal Caribbean's requirements, passengers must meet the Bahamas' entry requirements , which include a negative PCR test no more than five days ahead of arrival, a test upon arrival in the Bahamas and filling out entry forms.

Bahamian Prime Minister Hubert A. Minnis said in a statement that he expects a "vibrant" tourism season in the Bahamas.

“I am especially pleased that Royal Caribbean, with whom we have had a long and mutually beneficial relationship for more than 50 years, selected The Bahamas as a homeport when sailing resumes," Minnis said. "This is truly a new day for tourism. It should inspire many small- to medium-sized businesses, tour operators, taxi drivers, restaurants and retailers to prepare for brighter days ahead."

Travelers booking the new Bermuda cruises must also meet travel requirements there, which include a negative PCR test result before traveling and testing upon arrival into the country. 

“We look forward to welcoming Royal Caribbean passengers back to our shores and the opportunity for pre- and post-cruise stays in Bermuda. I am very excited that Bermuda will commence safe cruising this summer with our partner Royal Caribbean for their homeporting initiative from Bermuda to their private island Perfect Day at CocoCay,” said The Hon. W. Lawrence Scott, JP, MP, Minister of Transport, Bermuda.

Royal Caribbean is also set to offer "fully vaccinated" sailings on its newest ship, Odyssey of the Seas , which will make its debut in Israel in May. On the Odyssey of the Seas, all passengers over 16, plus crew members, will be required to show proof of vaccination. 

Also Friday, Royal Caribbean International's sibling line, Celebrity Cruises, which is also owned by Royal Caribbean Group, announced in a release that it would return to sailing June 5. The Celebrity Millennium will sail from St. Maarten for a series of seven-night cruises. Vaccinated crew and adult vaccinated passengers plus passengers under 18 with a negative test within 72 hours of departure will be welcome. 

Lisa Lutoff-Perlo, president and CEO of Celebrity, said in a statement that the return to cruising in the Caribbean is a "significant moment" for the cruise line.

"It marks the measured beginning of the end of what has been a uniquely challenging time for everyone," Lutoff-Perlo said.

Costa, Royal Caribbean, Norwegian: Aim to require crew to get COVID-19 vaccines before boarding cruise ships

Contributing: Dawn Gilbertson

Royal Caribbean just announced new 'fully vaccinated' cruises from Bermuda this summer

• Royal Caribbean just announced a new series of "fully vaccinated" summer cruises from Bermuda.
• The seven-night cruises will sail aboard the Visions of the Seas ship from June 26 through August.
• This is the cruise line's third fully vaccinated cruise announcement this month.

Royal Caribbean has announced a new series of "fully vaccinated" cruises from Bermuda, just four days after the cruise line unveiled another group of vaccine-mandated sailings from the Bahamas.

From June 26 through August, Royal Caribbean will sail its new series of seven-night cruises from Bermuda — a first for the cruise line — aboard the Vision of the Seas ship. Along the way, guests will get an overnight stay in Bermuda and a full day at Perfect Day at CocoCay, the cruise line's private island in The Bahamas.

"Bermuda has safely and responsibly managed the reopening of its tourism economy by air, and we will meet the challenge of doing the same for the cruise industry," Edward David Burt, Bermuda's premier, said in the press release.

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Read more:  Carnival and Royal Caribbean salaries revealed: From $32,000 to $383,000, here's how much the cruise industry's power players pay some of their employees

However, if you don't plan on getting the COVID-19 vaccine, you may be out of luck. Crew members aboard the ship will be vaccinated against COVID-19. Similarly, "at this time," Royal Caribbean will be requiring its adult guests aboard these new Bermuda sailings to also be fully vaccinated against the virus. Passengers under 18-years-old will instead have to test negative for COVID-19.

This new announcement follows Royal Caribbean's — and several other cruise lines' — recent trend of unveiling upcoming "fully vaccinated" cruises. Throughout March, the cruise giant announced several trips with vaccine mandates, including its Odyssey of the Seas sailings from Israel and Adventure of the Seas sailings from the Bahamas , both of which will cruise this year. 

"This is another step in our safe and measured return to sailing beginning in June," Michael Bayley, president and CEO of Royal Caribbean International, said in a press release. "Travelers are eager to venture out gradually and start cruising again." 

Eager cruise-goers interested in these new sailings will still have to adhere to Bermuda's health protocols, which include getting a negative PCR COVID-19 test result before traveling, and testing again upon arrival.

Are you a cruise industry employee or have a cruise industry story to share? Contact this reporter at [email protected].

Watch: Take a look inside the 'Scarlet Lady,' Virgin's first adults-only cruise ship sailing to the Caribbean in 2020

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BERMUDA ANNOUNCES NEW COVID TRAVEL PROTOCOLS

Bermuda Announces New Covid Travel Protocols Providing Safe & Simple Guidelines For Vaccinated Visitors

Effective March 7, 2022, Relaxed Protocols Make it Even Easier to Enjoy the Year-Round Island Getaway

(NEW YORK, NY – Feb. 7, 2022)  –   Bermuda  has announced updated COVID-19 protocols, offering new travel guidelines that will streamline the process for vaccinated travellers visiting the island, by land or sea. Effective March 7, 2022, the revised guidelines will continue to ensure the safety of all residents and visitors, while making it even more convenient for visitors.

“We welcome visitors from around the world with travel guidelines that ensure their safety as well as their convenience, and our updated protocols will make visiting Bermuda even easier,” said Charles H. Jeffers II, Bermuda Tourism Authority (BTA) CEO. “Our hotels and local businesses are open with the Bermudian hospitality for which we are known. There’s never been a better time to visit.”

Bermuda’s new guidelines will require all visitors to show proof of current vaccination status and a negative COVID-19 test result (both antigen or PCR tests are allowed) within two days of arriving on the island.

• Travellers will need to complete the Travellers Authorisation form with this information 24 – 48 hours prior to arrival.
• Up-to-date vaccination status is defined as having received a second dose within six months, or three doses of the vaccine.
• No further testing will be required upon arrival. If country of origin requires a test to return, Bermuda will automatically schedule and provide return testing to travellers.

“Due to the overwhelming response we have seen to our recent  Pink Sale  promotion, we are extending this special offer for savings of up to 50% if booked before February 20,” said Douglas Trueblood, Chief Sales and Marketing Officer. “People are ready to travel, and Bermuda is eager to welcome them back.”

For all Bermuda coronavirus updates and requirements, go to  www.gov.bm/coronavirus .

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TRAVEL & ITINERARY UPDATES

You may have been watching the news and have some concerns about your February 7th, 2020 sailing. We appreciate the CDC’s abundance of caution and their partnership. 

None of the four guests being tested by CDC showed any clinical signs or symptoms of coronavirus. One had tested positive onboard for Influenza A. Our records indicate the guests had not been in China since January 26. 

We have also been cleared by authorities to depart, as usual. However, to reassure concerned guests, we will delay our departure ‪until Saturday, February 8th, 2020, when we will receive the conclusive test results from CDC.

We know that you may be anxious about boarding the ship – we’re anxious too! So, we’ve decided to push our boarding to February 8 th , 2020, at  5:00 PM EST,  while we wait for the results from the CDC.

We’ve also made adjustments to our itinerary, which can be found below:

We’ll set sail from Cape Liberty at 10:00 PM on Saturday, February 8th instead of 3:00 PM on Friday, February 7th. Additionally, our visit to Port Canaveral will now be on February 11th from from 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM and to Perfect Day at CocoCay on February 12th from 8:00 AM to 6:00 PM. Unfortunately, we’ll be unable to visit Nassau, Bahamas.

Given that we have shortened the sailing and modified the itinerary, you’ll receive a 2-day refund in the form of an onboard credit. Plus a pro-rated credit, in the value of 2 days, for any pre-purchased packages such as beverage, internet, or dining. Both credits will be added to your Onboard Account and can be used anywhere on the ship.

Please also take a minute to review our screening and boarding protocols. We have been working with medical experts, public health authorities, and local governments, and in alignment with new stricter CDC protocols, we are tightening our measures to protect guests and crew. These steps are intentionally conservative, and we apologize that they will inconvenience some of our guests.

Until further notice, all ships in the Royal Caribbean Cruises Ltd. fleet will adopt these health screening protocols:

U.S. Entry Testing No Longer Required For International Air Travelers

As of 12:01AM ET on Sunday, June 12, 2022, U.S. CDC will no longer require air passengers traveling from a foreign country to the United States to show a negative COVID-19 viral test or documentation of recovery from COVID-19 before they board their flight. This change does not impact Royal Caribbean cruise testing requirements, which remain in place. To learn more, visit our Testing Requirements FAQ .

Itineraries visiting St. Petersburg, Russia

Last updated march 1st, 2022.

The safety of our guests and crew is always our top priority. We are continuously monitoring events taking place around the world, including the situation in Ukraine. With the recent events, we have made the decision to cancel our visits to St. Petersburg, Russia on all Summer 2022 itineraries. We have planned alternative ports and will communicate itinerary changes to our guests and travel partners.

COVID-19 Travel Update

An inherent risk of exposure to COVID-19 exists in any public place where people gather. Due to evolving health protocols, certain onboard and destination experiences, offerings, features, or itineraries may not be available during your voyage, may vary by ship and destination, and may be subject to change without notice. Imagery and messaging on the Royal Caribbean website and other company advertising may not accurately reflect experiences that are currently unavailable or otherwise impacted by evolving health protocols.

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Do You Need to Be Vaccinated to Cruise? It Depends on the Ship and Destination

While most cruise lines have scrapped covid vaccine and testing requirements, some companies and international cruise ports still have vaccination and testing rules in place..

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If you’re planning on sailing with Viking anytime soon, you’d better track down that COVID-19 vaccine certificate.

Courtesy of Viking

When cruising restarted in spring 2021, after a nearly 15-month pandemic-spurred shutdown imposed by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), cruisers faced a barrage of rules, including strict requirements for COVID-19 vaccinations and precruise COVID-19 testing. Later, the rules started to go by the wayside, and it was hard to keep track of who was requiring what. Not anymore.

Most cruise lines have now dropped or are soon dropping rules for both vaccinations and precruise testing, with at least one notable exception. Viking —on its river, ocean, and expedition ships—still requires everyone on board be fully vaccinated .

Another line that was still requiring COVID vaccinations, small-ship line Windstar Cruises, will be scrapping its vaccine mandate as of June 1, 2023. “We’ve invested in and improved our health and safety processes, including upgrading the HVAC systems on all of our ships, which has led to a cleaner and safer environment on board,” says Windstar president Christopher Prelog. “When combined with the widespread availability of vaccines and medical treatments, the risk factors are considerably lower now, giving us the confidence to lift the requirement.”

Are COVID vaccinations and testing still required for cruises?

Most cruise lines have dropped both their vaccine and testing requirements. Those that have lingered into 2023—mostly lines operating smaller ships—have been quietly scaling back their requirements.

The result: While there was a time after cruising restarted that you could be assured that your fellow passengers, at least those age 12 and up, were both fully vaccinated and tested for COVID-19 before getting on the ship, that is not the case anymore.

That said, specific countries have their own requirements, and several countries still require that cruise ship passengers are vaccinated and/or tested before arrival. If you are doing an itinerary outside of the Caribbean or Europe (where most vaccine and testing requirements have been dropped)—including to select countries in Central and South America or to Australia—you still have to read your cruise line’s precruise health and safety information carefully to make sure you comply with the latest requirements.

Contact your cruise line or check the U.S. State Department’s travel advisories for the latest.

What to know before you cruise

Vaccine and pretrip testing requirements can be confusing, especially if you are cruising internationally. Cruise lines have their own rules; countries have their own rules.

Before your trip, you will need to review your cruise line’s health and safety protocols. If a precruise test is required by a certain country, you will find that noted. In this case, you may be required to arrive at your ship with a negative COVID-19 test result in hand or not. (If testing is required, it can typically be either a PCR test or tele-health-monitored antigen test , paid for by the passenger. The cruise line may also require a test at the pier, paid for by the cruise line.)

If being fully vaccinated is required, that means having received the original series of vaccines at least 14 days prior to your cruise, or the original series plus a booster shot or shots.

As was the case even before the pandemic, you will be asked at embarkation to fill out a questionnaire inquiring about your current health status and whether you currently have any symptoms of illness.

You are free to pack and wear masks on your cruise. Most cruise lines suggest you do wear masks in crowded indoor situations—but it’s not enforced.

A quick cruise line guide to COVID requirements

Here’s a rundown of the basic rules for some leading cruise lines. Note: There may be additional requirements if you are traveling internationally. Be sure to review the latest requirements prior to boarding.

American Queen Voyages

On American Queen Voyages’ river, ocean, Great Lakes, and expedition ships, there are no longer any precruise testing or vaccinations required. Face coverings are optional, though masks may be required of any passengers showing symptoms.

Precruise testing is no longer required for vaccinated guests sailing with Azamara , except in ports where testing is required. No vaccination is necessary for cruises departing from or returning to the United States or Europe. In Australia, all guests 12 years and older must be fully vaccinated at least 14 days before sailing with all required COVID-19 vaccine doses (including a booster shot). Children under 12 years old are not required to be vaccinated.

Celebrity Cruises

No vaccination or testing is required on the majority of Celebrity Cruises sailings. Destinations with stricter requirements include: the Galápagos, Australia and New Zealand, transatlantic crossings, and select Central and South America itineraries. Unvaccinated guests need to be tested in Brazil, Chile, and Colombia.

As of April 23, 2023, on the Queen Mary 2 and Queen Victoria , and as of June 8, 2023, on the Queen Elizabeth , vaccinations and testing will no longer be required by Cunard (until then, testing and vaccination requirements apply).

Disney Cruise Line

For sailings embarking from the United States, which are the bulk of Disney Cruise Line’s sailings, no vaccination or testing is required. Disney recommends all guests be vaccinated before sailing and take a test for COVID-19 two days prior to their cruise. There are additional requirements on repositioning cruises and in Australia, so it is important to check the line’s website before your cruise.

Holland America Line

There are no precruise testing or vaccination requirements on most Holland America Line itineraries. There are requirements on select voyages (you can look up a specific voyage’s requirements on the line’s website).

Lindblad Expeditions

For voyages embarking on or after May 11, 2023, Lindblad Expeditions will no longer require guests to be fully vaccinated, although the line recommends guests be fully vaccinated (for cruises prior to that time, all passengers age five and up must be vaccinated). Lindblad recommends, but does not require, passengers take a predeparture COVID-19 test within five days of the start of their expedition.

Oceania Cruises

Vaccine requirements are purely dependent on the destinations being visited on each Oceania cruise. Passengers are advised to be up to date on the latest regulations for all destinations on their cruise itinerary.

Paul Gauguin Cruises

Effective April 2023, Paul Gauguin Cruises no longer requires that passengers are vaccinated or tested for COVID prior to embarkation, but it continues to encourage vaccination. “Paul Gauguin Cruises’ officers, staff and crew will remain fully vaccinated,” the line states. Travelers will need to present a health declaration form at embarkation.

Regent Seven Seas Cruises

Vaccines and precruise testing are generally not required to sail with Regent Seven Seas Cruises . There are some requirements in place based on local health regulations in a specific country a ship is visiting. Regent notifies guests approximately 30 days prior to sailing of any country-specific protocols.

Royal Caribbean

No vaccine or precruise testing is required on the majority of Royal Caribbean itineraries, with a few exceptions: Cruises from Australia, transpacific and transatlantic sailings, and cruises from Hawai‘i to Vancouver.

No vaccine or testing required except on certain Seabourn itineraries where a country may have specific requirements.

No vaccination is required for Silversea passengers except as designated by the destination. Precruise testing is not required except when specified by a destination.

Viking Cruises

All passengers and crew are required to be vaccinated on Viking’s river, ocean, and expedition ships—without exception. Viking strongly recommends passengers receive a booster dose before departing. Viking recommends but does not require a predeparture COVID-19 test (except if required by a destination).

Virgin Voyages

Virgin Voyages has no precruise testing or vaccination requirements. Masks may be required at select times.

Windstar Cruises

Beginning June 1, 2023, Windstar will no longer require guests to be vaccinated. Crew will continue to be vaccinated. Masks are optional, with the line highly recommending guests wear masks in indoor public spaces. All guests fill out a health questionnaire on embarkation. A precruise COVID-19 test is not required unless you show symptoms.

This article was originally published in May 2022; it was most recently updated on April 19, 2023, with current information.

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Royal Caribbean cruises scrapped because of strict Island Covid-19 rules

Royal Caribbean International scrapped plans to send cruise ships to Bermuda this summer because of the Government’s insistence that all passengers had to be vaccinated, it was revealed yesterday.

Lawrence Scott, the transport minister, said that other destinations only required a proportion of passengers to be vaccinated, which made them more attractive to cruise lines.

But Mr Scott defended the hard line on vaccinations and insisted that public safety could not be compromised.

Mr Scott highlighted that the CDC regulations were less strict than Bermuda’s regulations

He said: “That contradicts our current health policies of fully vaccinated cruises for Bermuda and that is where – although they’re running within the guidelines of the CDC – they’re outside our health guidelines.

“So for us, we can’t allow them to operate like that. When it comes to health and the safety of the country and the health risk we’re not willing to compromise on that.”

RCI’s Freedom of the Seas and Enchantment of the Seas were scheduled to make 21 visits each to Bermuda from July to October.

But RCI confirmed last week that the itinerary had been cancelled.

Mr Scott added: “When the CDC said ‘hey, you can start sailing out of US waters’, RCI had to make a decision between focusing on home porting in Bermuda or getting their core market back up and running.

“They made the decision to get their core market back up and running, which we can understand because Bermuda still benefits by having the traditional cruises coming in.

“They then went on to look into the CDC guidelines and they realised that they could adjust their business model to run vaccinated cruises but not totally vaccinated cruises – while abiding by the CDC guidelines.”

The RCI announcement came after the US Centres for Disease Control confirmed that ships could sail out of US ports with some restrictions – and that not all passengers had to be vaccinated.

Freedom of the Seas has now been rerouted and will spend the summer sailing to the Bahamas.

The company had earlier planned to have a third vessel home port in Bermuda.

But another cruise ship home porting in Bermuda will set sail on its first voyage of the summer today.

Viking Orion , which will operate at 50 per cent capacity, will spend five days at sea before a return to the island.

A total of seven more voyages are planned over the summer.

Mr Scott said he was satisfied that the vessel would stick to the island’s safety regulations.

He added: “I haven’t been directly involved in vaccinations – however, I have seen the overarching policies and guidelines that Viking are abiding by and they have my full support with their health policies.

“I say that because they have the most sophisticated and thorough internal testing and monitoring system that I’ve seen on any cruise ship.

“They have invested heavily – they actually have a laboratory on board.

“They have the UV lights in their filtration system. They have the robots that go around at night cleaning the common areas.”

Mr Scott said: “And if that wasn’t enough, they also have customers being saliva tested every day.

“They even go so far to say for their outbreak policy, if three people out of 900 test positive, they will consider that an outbreak and they go into their outbreak protocols – that means the ship stays at sea.

“That thoroughness, that dedication to the health and safety of their customers gives me peace and helps me sleep at night.

“They’re going to start off with 50 per cent 60, so every sailing they’ll have more passengers on board, which is the new standard for the industry.”

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What are cruise lines doing about COVID-19?

Prior to our voluntary suspension of cruises and to comply with guidance from CDC, WHO, public health authorities around the world, and the Cruise Lines International Association (CLIA), we enhanced our rigorous global boarding and screening measures to protect our guests and crew. These measures were intentionally conservative and applied to anyone boarding our ships, guests and crew alike.

We also introduced the Royal Caribbean Healthy Sail Panel — a team of cross-disciplinary experts enlisted to guide the cruise industry’s way forward in response to COVID-19.  Click here  to learn more. 

As the world changes, we’re continuing to assess Coronavirus (COVID-19) developments constantly and will update our protocols as needed. We will contact Travel Advisors and guests cruising with us with the details of our boarding and medical protocols.

To learn more about our travel regulations and health protocols,  click here .​

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There's COVID-19 on nearly every cruise ship right now: Here's what cruisers need to know

Things are getting iffy again for cruisers -- at least for those with near-term bookings.

The ongoing surge in COVID-19 cases around the world is causing a growing number of disruptions to itineraries and even some last-minute cancellations of entire voyages.

The number of passengers being quarantined on ships (after testing positive for COVID-19) also is on the rise. And passengers who aren't COVID-19 positive are getting caught up in short-term quarantines for being "close contacts" of shipmates who are.

For more cruise guides, tips and news, sign up for TPG's cruise newsletter .

Meanwhile, just getting to ships is becoming increasingly stressful, as getting the pre-cruise COVID-19 test that's often required before cruising is getting more difficult . Plus, a "perfect storm" of soaring COVID-19 cases and rough winter weather has wreaked havoc with airline operations for weeks.

Still, the situation isn't anywhere near as dramatic or disruptive as what we saw at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic two years ago, when whole ships were being quarantined due to outbreaks of the illness and, eventually, the entire industry shut down.

As I saw myself during a cruise to Antarctica in recent weeks, many sailings are operating relatively normally, even when there are COVID-19 cases on board.

Here's a look at everything you need to know if you've got a cruise booked in the coming weeks -- or further out.

COVID-19 cases on ships are up a lot

While cruise ships have recorded relatively few cases of COVID-19 over the past year, in part due to unusually strict health protocols , the number of passengers and crew testing positive on ships has been rising sharply in recent weeks along with the greater surge on land.

At the end of December, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that 5,013 COVID-19 cases had been reported on cruise vessels operating in U.S. waters during the last two weeks of the month, up from just 162 cases during the first two weeks of the month.

That's a 3,094% increase.

Anecdotal reports are that the number of cases on ships is up even more in the first 10 days of the new year.

Notably, all 92 cruise vessels currently operating in U.S. waters have recorded at least a handful of COVID-19 cases in recent weeks, according to CDC data.

Still, it's important to note that most of these "cases" of COVID-19 are asymptomatic or mild, only discovered during routine testing. While some ships only are testing passengers who report feeling ill for COVID-19 (and close contacts of those who subsequently test positive), other ships are testing every single passenger at least once per voyage, sometimes more. One line, Viking , is testing every single passenger for COVID-19 every day.

Cruise lines also are testing all crew members regularly.

The result is the detection of many asymptomatic cases that otherwise would have gone undetected. This is a level of surveillance that is much greater than what is the norm for other travel venues such as land-based resorts or theme parks, and it can give the false impression that the positivity rate for COVID-19 on ships is unusually high as compared to other places.

If anything, the positivity rate is far lower on ships than on land, thanks to much stricter health protocols (more on that in a moment).

It's also important to note that the detection of COVID-19-positive passengers or crew on board your ship won't necessarily impact your sailing (unless you are among those testing positive).

Health authorities no longer are quarantining whole ships when a few -- or even a lot -- of passengers and crew test positive for COVID-19. The current protocol on most ships is to isolate COVID-19-positive passengers and crew but otherwise continue on with voyages as planned.

Your itinerary could change

While health authorities no longer are quarantining whole ships when a few passengers or crew test positive for COVID-19, the presence of the illness on board a vessel still could result in notable disruptions to your itinerary.

Cruise lines in recent weeks have faced a growing number of ports that are balking at allowing ships with COVID-19-positive passengers or crew to dock.

Several ships recently had to skip port calls in Mexico , for instance, after passengers and crew on board the vessels tested positive for COVID-19. The ports have since reopened after Mexico's Health Department overruled the decisions of local port officials.

Cruise ships also have had to cancel stops recently at the islands of Aruba, Bonaire and Curaçao, and at San Juan, Puerto Rico, due to local worries about COVID-19-positive passengers and crew on board and/or tighter COVID-19-related entry requirements.

Lines also are dealing with a small but growing number of destinations -- India and Hong Kong, for example -- that are at least temporarily closing to cruising completely, even for ships where no one has tested positive for COVID-19.

Viking on Sunday was forced to announce a major revision of its soon-to-begin, 120-day world cruise after India notified the line it was closing to cruise ships. Viking's 930-passenger Viking Star will begin its world cruise this week by heading south from Los Angeles to Central America and South America instead of sailing westward toward Asia, where it was scheduled to spend a significant amount of time in India.

Your cruise could be canceled on short notice

A growing number of cruise lines are canceling sailings on short notice, citing the disruptions caused by COVID-19. The world's largest cruise operator Royal Caribbean on Friday canceled soon-to-depart sailings on four of its 25 ships, including the next three departures of the world's largest ship, Symphony of the Seas .

Norwegian Cruise Line on Wednesday canceled soon-to-depart voyages on eight of its 17 ships.

Other lines canceling one or more sailings in recent days include Holland America , Silversea , Atlas Ocean Voyages, Regent Seven Seas Cruises, MSC Cruises , Costa Cruises and Oceania Cruises .

The cancellations come as lines struggle to maintain adequate staffing levels on some ships due to crew members testing positive. When crew test positive, they and their close contacts must stop working and isolate, even if asymptomatic, leaving shipboard venues short-staffed.

You probably won't be quarantined, stranded or stuck

As noted above, health authorities no longer are quarantining whole ships when a few -- or even a lot -- of passengers and crew test positive for COVID-19.

The current protocol on most ships is to quickly isolate COVID-19-positive passengers and their close contacts. But only the COVID-19-positive passengers are being isolated long term.

As my colleague Ashley Kosciolek experienced first-hand on a cruise in 2021, close contacts only are being isolated for a short period while they are tested for COVID-19. If they test negative, they typically are allowed out of their rooms to rejoin the rest of their fellow cruisers on board.

This means that many sailings are going ahead as planned, with little disruption, even when some passengers and crew on the trips test positive for COVID-19. I experienced this myself in late December when on a Silversea vessel where four passengers tested positive for COVID-19. Some passengers who were deemed close contacts of the passengers who tested positive were isolated for a short period while being tested for COVID-19. But the positive cases had little impact on most of the passengers on board the vessel, and the voyage went ahead as planned.

Such a protocol comes at the recommendation of the CDC, which has set guidelines for how cruise lines should respond to COVID-19-positive cases on board ships, and it has worked well for the past year .

Of course, if you do test positive for COVID-19 on a ship, you will, unfortunately, face what could be several days of isolation in a cabin on a ship or on land. If you are an American cruising overseas, you also won't be able to return to the U.S. until you have tested negative for COVID-19 (or until you recover from the illness and are cleared in writing to travel by a licensed healthcare provider or a public health official).

This is one of the biggest risks of taking a cruise right now, and one reason you may consider canceling a sailing scheduled in the short term (see the section on more-flexible cancellation policies below).

Most COVID-19 cases on ships aren't serious

Cruise lines are reporting that the vast majority of passengers testing positive for COVID-19 in recent weeks are asymptomatic or have mild symptoms.

All major cruise lines currently are requiring all or nearly all passengers to be fully vaccinated for COVID-19, with some also starting to require booster shots , to boot. This creates an onboard population that is far less likely to experience serious symptoms of COVID-19 than a cross-section of people on land, according to CDC data.

For all adults ages 18 years and older, the cumulative COVID-19-associated hospitalization rate is about eight times higher in unvaccinated persons than in vaccinated persons, according to the latest CDC data.

You'll face lots of new health protocols

If you haven't cruised since before the pandemic, you might be surprised by how many new health- and safety-related policies cruise lines have implemented to keep COVID-19 off ships.

For starters, there are the vaccine mandates noted above. No other segment of the travel industry has been as uniform in requiring almost every customer to be fully vaccinated against COVID-19.

Related: Will I need a COVID-19 vaccine to cruise? A line-by-line guide

As noted above, cruise lines also are requiring passengers to undergo COVID-19 tests before boarding ships -- a screening process that is keeping many COVID-19 positive people from ever stepping on board a vessel.

When COVID-19 is detected on a ship, cruise lines sometimes then test passengers multiple times to ensure it isn't spreading. On my recent trip to Antarctica, I underwent six COVID-19 tests in just eight days -- three in advance of stepping on board the vessel (including a PCR test required by Chile, where my trip began) and three while on board.

In addition, most cruise lines now are requiring passengers to wear masks at all times while in interior spaces of vessels, and they have stepped up cleaning regimens, improved air filtration systems on ships and made other onboard changes.

The CDC says to avoid cruising for now

On Dec. 30, the CDC added cruise ships to its list of "Level 4" destinations you should avoid visiting for now due to high levels of COVID-19.

For what it's worth, more than 80 countries around the world -- including a good chunk of all the places you might want to travel -- are on this list. So, the CDC is basically telling you that now isn't a good time to travel. Fair enough. But the warning shouldn't be seen as a call-out on any elevated risk to cruising as opposed to visiting other places, per se.

Places on the Level 4 list currently include Canada, much of Europe and nearly every country in the Caribbean.

The cruise industry has been highly critical of the designation, arguing that cruise ships are far safer places to be right now than almost anywhere else, given their strict health protocols.

"The decision by the CDC to raise the travel level for cruise is particularly perplexing considering that cases identified on cruise ships consistently make up a very slim minority of the total population onboard — far fewer than on land — and the majority of those cases are asymptomatic or mild in nature, posing little to no burden on medical resources onboard or onshore," the main trade group for the industry, the Cruise Lines International Association, said in a statement to TPG.

You can cancel if you're worried (in many cases)

If you're booked on a cruise in the coming weeks, and you're having second thoughts, there's a good chance you can get out of your trip. Many lines continue to be far more flexible than normal about cancellations.

Take cruise giant Carnival Cruise Line . Its current flexible cancellation policy allows passengers to cancel as long as a public health emergency remains in effect and receive 100% of the cruise fare paid in the form of a future cruise credit. Passengers are also able to cancel if they test positive for COVID-19. (Proof of a positive test result is required.)

Another large line, Norwegian, just last week extended its pandemic-era Peace of Mind policy to allow passengers to cancel any sailing taking place between now and May 31. For now, the cancellation needs to be done by Jan. 31, and the refund would come in the form of a future cruise credit to be used on any sailing that embarks through Dec. 31.

That means you could call the line right now to back out of a cruise that is just days away. In normal times, you'd lose all your money if you backed out of a seven-night Norwegian cruise with fewer than 31 days' notice.

Planning a cruise? Start with these stories:

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• The 5 most desirable cabin locations on any cruise ship
• The 8 worst cabin locations on any cruise ship
• A quick guide to the most popular cruise lines
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Travel | Cruise demand leaves pandemic in rearview with…

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Subscriber only, travel | cruise demand leaves pandemic in rearview with record passengers, more construction on tap.

MIAMI BEACH — The COVID pandemic drove the cruise industry to a standstill, but numbers released Tuesday signal the years of comeback are officially over with more expansion on tap.

More than 31.7 million passengers took cruises worldwide in 2023, said Kelly Craighead, Cruise Line International Association president and CEO, speaking at the annual Seatrade Cruise Global conference at Miami Beach Convention Center.

CLIA is the lobbying group for member cruise lines, including Royal Caribbean, Disney Cruise Line, Carnival, Norwegian, MSC and most other major brands.

The pandemic shut down sailing from March 2020 with only a small number of ships coming back online 18 months later in summer 2021. Cruise lines didn’t return to full strength until partially through 2022, so it wasn’t until a full year of sailing in 2023 that the industry could get a real handle on just what the demand had grown to as people returned to vacation travel.

“We are an industry that’s resilient and thriving all around the world, breaking records in ways we might never have imagined,” she said.

The 2023 total is 2 million more than the industry had in 2019. CLIA projects 34.1 million in 2024 growing to 34.6 million in 2025. It’s still a miniscule chunk of the overall travel pie of more than 1.3 billion, but cruise’s share is growing.

She noted that surveys of travelers who would consider a cruise for a vacation are at an all-time high, noting that 82% who had previously cruised said they would cruise again, but more importantly, among those who had never sailed, 71% would consider it.

The youngest generations — Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z — are the biggest drivers.

The fleet for the growing demand continues as well, including the introduction this year of the world’s largest cruise ship, Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas.

She said CLIA member lines had more than 300 ships sailing globally for the first time in 2023, with 14 new ships that began sailing in 2023 and another eight expected before the end of the year. They have 88 new ships on order through 2028.

Already this year, both Royal Caribbean Group and Carnival Corp. announced major new ship construction deals, and Norwegian Cruise Line Holdings added to that this week with its order of eight more vessels across its three brands.

The heads of those groups were on stage to discuss where the industry is headed and enjoy their recent success.

Carnival Corp.’s president and CEO Josh Weinstein put it in a way that gained plaudits from fellow panelists and others at the conference.

“The concept of pent-up demand for cruising is gone,” he said. “We have been cruising for three years, right? It’s over. This is natural demand because we all provide amazing experiences. We delivered happiness to literally 31 million guests last year. And people see it, they feel it.”

A big part of what cruising missed during the pandemic he said was that word-of-mouth promotion that is needed to convince people to try their product.

“We now have 31 million people getting off our ships and going home and telling their friends and family who have never cruised before, ‘You don’t know what you’re missing.’ ‘This is amazing.'”

All of the leaders echoed the industry line that they offer a much better value than land-based vacations, but that the experience gap between the two has now shifted in their favor coming out of the pandemic.

“The appreciation for building memories with your friends and family coming out of COVID is at extraordinarily high levels,” said Jason Liberty, president & CEO at Royal Caribbean Group. “Also wealth transfer, right? Grandparents wanting to see that wealth transfer live, watching their kids and their grandkids experience that is also at an all-time high. … We have the secular trends of people buying less stuff, they want experiences. We’re in the experience business.”

Another bright aspect to the industry has been the spillover effect of all of the new ships since the pandemic, said Harry Sommer, president & CEO at Norwegian Cruise Line Holdings Ltd.

“Their new products are so extraordinary, and so much better than what was delivered back in ’15, ’16 and ’17, that it’s driving additional excitement for the entire industry,” Somer said. “When any new ship is delivered, no matter whether it’s part of our portfolio or the other portfolios, demand improves for all of us because it adds excitement to the industry.”

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Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

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Updated at 2:44 p.m. ET on April 6, 2024.

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MY FIRST GLIMPSE of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea, amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my optic nerve to try again.

The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.

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“Author embarks on their first cruise-ship voyage” has been a staple of American essay writing for almost three decades, beginning with David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which was first published in 1996 under the title “Shipping Out.” Since then, many admirable writers have widened and diversified the genre. Usually the essayist commissioned to take to the sea is in their first or second flush of youth and is ready to sharpen their wit against the hull of the offending vessel. I am 51, old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist, and mostly what I do in both life and prose is shrug while muttering to my imaginary dachshund, “This too shall pass.” But the Icon of the Seas will not countenance a shrug. The Icon of the Seas is the Linda Loman of cruise ships, exclaiming that attention must be paid. And here I am in late January with my one piece of luggage and useless gray winter jacket and passport, zipping through the Port of Miami en route to the gangway that will separate me from the bulk of North America for more than seven days, ready to pay it in full.

The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused. It turns out that the aft is the stern of the ship, or, for those of us who don’t know what a stern or an aft are, its ass. The nose of the ship, responsible for separating the waves before it, is also called a bow, and is marked for passengers as the FWD , or forward. The part of the contemporary sailing vessel where the malls are clustered is called the midship. I trust that you have enjoyed this nautical lesson.

I ascend via elevator to my suite on Deck 11. This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed. To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? Unthinkable.

Allow me a brief preamble here. The story you are reading was commissioned at a moment when most staterooms on the Icon were sold out. In fact, so enthralled by the prospect of this voyage were hard-core mariners that the ship’s entire inventory of guest rooms (the Icon can accommodate up to 7,600 passengers, but its inaugural journey was reduced to 5,000 or so for a less crowded experience) was almost immediately sold out. Hence, this publication was faced with the shocking prospect of paying nearly $19,000 to procure for this solitary passenger an entire suite—not including drinking expenses—all for the privilege of bringing you this article. But the suite in question doesn’t even have a view of the ocean! I sit down hard on my soft bed. Nineteen thousand dollars for this .

The viewless suite does have its pluses. In addition to all the Malin+Goetz products in my dual bathrooms, I am granted use of a dedicated Suite Deck lounge; access to Coastal Kitchen, a superior restaurant for Suites passengers; complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream (“the fastest Internet at Sea”) “for one device per person for the whole cruise duration”; a pair of bathrobes (one of which comes prestained with what looks like a large expectoration by the greenest lizard on Earth); and use of the Grove Suite Sun, an area on Decks 18 and 19 with food and deck chairs reserved exclusively for Suite passengers. I also get reserved seating for a performance of The Wizard of Oz , an ice-skating tribute to the periodic table, and similar provocations. The very color of my Suite Sky SeaPass Card, an oceanic blue as opposed to the cloying royal purple of the standard non-Suite passenger, will soon provoke envy and admiration. But as high as my status may be, there are those on board who have much higher status still, and I will soon learn to bow before them.

In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends. But I naively thought that my meatball T-shirt would be more suitable for conversation-starting. “Oh, and who is your ‘daddy’?” some might ask upon seeing it. “And how long have you been his ‘little meatball’?” And so on.

I put on my meatball T-shirt and head for one of the dining rooms to get a late lunch. In the elevator, I stick out my chest for all to read the funny legend upon it, but soon I realize that despite its burnished tricolor letters, no one takes note. More to the point, no one takes note of me. Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace , who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am. If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity.

Worse awaits me in the dining room. This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language. “I’m sorry, this is only for pendejos ,” he seems to be saying. I push back politely and he repeats himself. Pendejos ? Piranhas? There’s some kind of P-word to which I am not attuned. Meanwhile elderly passengers stream right past, powered by their limbs, walkers, and electric wheelchairs. “It is only pendejo dining today, sir.” “But I have a suite!” I say, already starting to catch on to the ship’s class system. He examines my card again. “But you are not a pendejo ,” he confirms. I am wearing a DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL T-shirt, I want to say to him. I am the essence of pendejo .

Eventually, I give up and head to the plebeian buffet on Deck 15, which has an aquatic-styled name I have now forgotten. Before gaining entry to this endless cornucopia of reheated food, one passes a washing station of many sinks and soap dispensers, and perhaps the most intriguing character on the entire ship. He is Mr. Washy Washy—or, according to his name tag, Nielbert of the Philippines—and he is dressed as a taco (on other occasions, I’ll see him dressed as a burger). Mr. Washy Washy performs an eponymous song in spirited, indeed flamboyant English: “Washy, washy, wash your hands, WASHY WASHY!” The dangers of norovirus and COVID on a cruise ship this size (a giant fellow ship was stricken with the former right after my voyage) makes Mr. Washy Washy an essential member of the crew. The problem lies with the food at the end of Washy’s rainbow. The buffet is groaning with what sounds like sophisticated dishes—marinated octopus, boiled egg with anchovy, chorizo, lobster claws—but every animal tastes tragically the same, as if there was only one creature available at the market, a “cruisipus” bred specifically for Royal Caribbean dining. The “vegetables” are no better. I pick up a tomato slice and look right through it. It tastes like cellophane. I sit alone, apart from the couples and parents with gaggles of children, as “We Are Family” echoes across the buffet space.

I may have failed to mention that all this time, the Icon of the Seas has not left port. As the fiery mango of the subtropical setting sun makes Miami’s condo skyline even more apocalyptic, the ship shoves off beneath a perfunctory display of fireworks. After the sun sets, in the far, dark distance, another circus-lit cruise ship ruptures the waves before us. We glance at it with pity, because it is by definition a smaller ship than our own. I am on Deck 15, outside the buffet and overlooking a bunch of pools (the Icon has seven of them), drinking a frilly drink that I got from one of the bars (the Icon has 15 of them), still too shy to speak to anyone, despite Sister Sledge’s assertion that all on the ship are somehow related.

Kim Brooks: On failing the family vacation

The ship’s passage away from Ron DeSantis’s Florida provides no frisson, no sense of developing “sea legs,” as the ship is too large to register the presence of waves unless a mighty wind adds significant chop. It is time for me to register the presence of the 5,000 passengers around me, even if they refuse to register mine. My fellow travelers have prepared for this trip with personally decorated T-shirts celebrating the importance of this voyage. The simplest ones say ICON INAUGURAL ’24 on the back and the family name on the front. Others attest to an over-the-top love of cruise ships: WARNING! MAY START TALKING ABOUT CRUISING . Still others are artisanally designed and celebrate lifetimes spent married while cruising (on ships, of course). A couple possibly in their 90s are wearing shirts whose backs feature a drawing of a cruise liner, two flamingos with ostensibly male and female characteristics, and the legend “ HUSBAND AND WIFE Cruising Partners FOR LIFE WE MAY NOT HAVE IT All Together BUT TOGETHER WE HAVE IT ALL .” (The words not in all caps have been written in cursive.) A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.

I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

I breakfast alone at the Coastal Kitchen. The coffee tastes fine and the eggs came out of a bird. The ship rolls slightly this morning; I can feel it in my thighs and my schlong, the parts of me that are most receptive to danger.

I had a dangerous conversation last night. After the sun set and we were at least 50 miles from shore (most modern cruise ships sail at about 23 miles an hour), I lay in bed softly hiccupping, my arms stretched out exactly like Jesus on the cross, the sound of the distant waves missing from my mall-facing suite, replaced by the hum of air-conditioning and children shouting in Spanish through the vents of my two bathrooms. I decided this passivity was unacceptable. As an immigrant, I feel duty-bound to complete the tasks I am paid for, which means reaching out and trying to understand my fellow cruisers. So I put on a normal James Perse T-shirt and headed for one of the bars on the Royal Promenade—the Schooner Bar, it was called, if memory serves correctly.

I sat at the bar for a martini and two Negronis. An old man with thick, hairy forearms drank next to me, very silent and Hemingwaylike, while a dreadlocked piano player tinkled out a series of excellent Elton John covers. To my right, a young white couple—he in floral shorts, she in a light, summery miniskirt with a fearsome diamond ring, neither of them in football regalia—chatted with an elderly couple. Do it , I commanded myself. Open your mouth. Speak! Speak without being spoken to. Initiate. A sentence fragment caught my ear from the young woman, “Cherry Hill.” This is a suburb of Philadelphia in New Jersey, and I had once been there for a reading at a synagogue. “Excuse me,” I said gently to her. “Did you just mention Cherry Hill? It’s a lovely place.”

As it turned out, the couple now lived in Fort Lauderdale (the number of Floridians on the cruise surprised me, given that Southern Florida is itself a kind of cruise ship, albeit one slowly sinking), but soon they were talking with me exclusively—the man potbellied, with a chin like a hard-boiled egg; the woman as svelte as if she were one of the many Ukrainian members of the crew—the elderly couple next to them forgotten. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”).

“I don’t want to talk politics,” the man said. “But they’re going to eighty-six Biden and put Michelle in.”

I considered the contradictions of his opening conversational gambit, but decided to play along. “People like Michelle,” I said, testing the waters. The husband sneered, but the wife charitably put forward that the former first lady was “more personable” than Joe Biden. “They’re gonna eighty-six Biden,” the husband repeated. “He can’t put a sentence together.”

After I mentioned that I was a writer—though I presented myself as a writer of teleplays instead of novels and articles such as this one—the husband told me his favorite writer was Ayn Rand. “Ayn Rand, she came here with nothing,” the husband said. “I work with a lot of Cubans, so …” I wondered if I should mention what I usually do to ingratiate myself with Republicans or libertarians: the fact that my finances improved after pass-through corporations were taxed differently under Donald Trump. Instead, I ordered another drink and the couple did the same, and I told him that Rand and I were born in the same city, St. Petersburg/Leningrad, and that my family also came here with nothing. Now the bonding and drinking began in earnest, and several more rounds appeared. Until it all fell apart.

Read: Gary Shteyngart on watching Russian television for five days straight

My new friend, whom I will refer to as Ayn, called out to a buddy of his across the bar, and suddenly a young couple, both covered in tattoos, appeared next to us. “He fucking punked me,” Ayn’s frat-boy-like friend called out as he put his arm around Ayn, while his sizable partner sizzled up to Mrs. Rand. Both of them had a look I have never seen on land—their eyes projecting absence and enmity in equal measure. In the ’90s, I drank with Russian soldiers fresh from Chechnya and wandered the streets of wartime Zagreb, but I have never seen such undisguised hostility toward both me and perhaps the universe at large. I was briefly introduced to this psychopathic pair, but neither of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and the tattooed woman would not even reveal her Christian name to me (she pretended to have the same first name as Mrs. Rand). To impress his tattooed friends, Ayn made fun of the fact that as a television writer, I’d worked on the series Succession (which, it would turn out, practically nobody on the ship had watched), instead of the far more palatable, in his eyes, zombie drama of last year. And then my new friends drifted away from me into an angry private conversation—“He punked me!”—as I ordered another drink for myself, scared of the dead-eyed arrivals whose gaze never registered in the dim wattage of the Schooner Bar, whose terrifying voices and hollow laughs grated like unoiled gears against the crooning of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

But today is a new day for me and my hangover. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods . There’s the AquaDome, where one can find a food hall and an acrobatic sound-and-light aquatic show. Central Park has a premium steak house, a sushi joint, and a used Rolex that can be bought for $8,000 on land here proudly offered at $17,000. There’s the aforementioned Royal Promenade, where I had drunk with the Rands, and where a pair of dueling pianos duel well into the night. There’s Surfside, a kids’ neighborhood full of sugary garbage, which looks out onto the frothy trail that the behemoth leaves behind itself. Thrill Island refers to the collection of tubes that clutter the ass of the ship and offer passengers six waterslides and a surfing simulation. There’s the Hideaway, an adult zone that plays music from a vomit-slathered, Brit-filled Alicante nightclub circa 1996 and proves a big favorite with groups of young Latin American customers. And, most hurtfully, there’s the Suite Neighborhood.

I say hurtfully because as a Suite passenger I should be here, though my particular suite is far from the others. Whereas I am stuck amid the riffraff of Deck 11, this section is on the highborn Decks 16 and 17, and in passing, I peek into the spacious, tall-ceilinged staterooms from the hallway, dazzled by the glint of the waves and sun. For $75,000, one multifloor suite even comes with its own slide between floors, so that a family may enjoy this particular terror in private. There is a quiet splendor to the Suite Neighborhood. I see fewer stickers and signs and drawings than in my own neighborhood—for example, MIKE AND DIANA PROUDLY SERVED U.S. MARINE CORPS RETIRED . No one here needs to announce their branch of service or rank; they are simply Suites, and this is where they belong. Once again, despite my hard work and perseverance, I have been disallowed from the true American elite. Once again, I am “Not our class, dear.” I am reminded of watching The Love Boat on my grandmother’s Zenith, which either was given to her or we found in the trash (I get our many malfunctioning Zeniths confused) and whose tube got so hot, I would put little chunks of government cheese on a thin tissue atop it to give our welfare treat a pleasant, Reagan-era gooeyness. I could not understand English well enough then to catch the nuances of that seafaring program, but I knew that there were differences in the status of the passengers, and that sometimes those differences made them sad. Still, this ship, this plenty—every few steps, there are complimentary nachos or milkshakes or gyros on offer—was the fatty fuel of my childhood dreams. If only I had remained a child.

I walk around the outdoor decks looking for company. There is a middle-aged African American couple who always seem to be asleep in each other’s arms, probably exhausted from the late capitalism they regularly encounter on land. There is far more diversity on this ship than I expected. Many couples are a testament to Loving v. Virginia , and there is a large group of folks whose T-shirts read MELANIN AT SEA / IT’S THE MELANIN FOR ME . I smile when I see them, but then some young kids from the group makes Mr. Washy Washy do a cruel, caricatured “Burger Dance” (today he is in his burger getup), and I think, Well, so much for intersectionality .

At the infinity pool on Deck 17, I spot some elderly women who could be ethnic and from my part of the world, and so I jump in. I am proved correct! Many of them seem to be originally from Queens (“Corona was still great when it was all Italian”), though they are now spread across the tristate area. We bond over the way “Ron-kon-koma” sounds when announced in Penn Station.

“Everyone is here for a different reason,” one of them tells me. She and her ex-husband last sailed together four years ago to prove to themselves that their marriage was truly over. Her 15-year-old son lost his virginity to “an Irish young lady” while their ship was moored in Ravenna, Italy. The gaggle of old-timers competes to tell me their favorite cruising stories and tips. “A guy proposed in Central Park a couple of years ago”—many Royal Caribbean ships apparently have this ridiculous communal area—“and she ran away screaming!” “If you’re diamond-class, you get four drinks for free.” “A different kind of passenger sails out of Bayonne.” (This, perhaps, is racially coded.) “Sometimes, if you tip the bartender $5, your next drink will be free.”

“Everyone’s here for a different reason,” the woman whose marriage ended on a cruise tells me again. “Some people are here for bad reasons—the drinkers and the gamblers. Some people are here for medical reasons.” I have seen more than a few oxygen tanks and at least one woman clearly undergoing very serious chemo. Some T-shirts celebrate good news about a cancer diagnosis. This might be someone’s last cruise or week on Earth. For these women, who have spent months, if not years, at sea, cruising is a ritual as well as a life cycle: first love, last love, marriage, divorce, death.

Read: The last place on Earth any tourist should go

I have talked with these women for so long, tonight I promise myself that after a sad solitary dinner I will not try to seek out company at the bars in the mall or the adult-themed Hideaway. I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. She is singing something violent about “Stuttering Stanley” (a character in a popular horror movie, as I discover with my complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream Internet at Sea) and he’s loudly shouting about “all the money I’ve lost,” presumably at the casino in the bowels of the ship.

So these bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel are angrily inhabiting my deck. As I mewl myself to sleep, I envision a limited series for HBO or some other streamer, a kind of low-rent White Lotus , where several aggressive couples conspire to throw a shy intellectual interloper overboard. I type the scenario into my phone. As I fall asleep, I think of what the woman who recently divorced her husband and whose son became a man through the good offices of the Irish Republic told me while I was hoisting myself out of the infinity pool. “I’m here because I’m an explorer. I’m here because I’m trying something new.” What if I allowed myself to believe in her fantasy?

“YOU REALLY STARTED AT THE TOP,” they tell me. I’m at the Coastal Kitchen for my eggs and corned-beef hash, and the maître d’ has slotted me in between two couples. Fueled by coffee or perhaps intrigued by my relative youth, they strike up a conversation with me. As always, people are shocked that this is my first cruise. They contrast the Icon favorably with all the preceding liners in the Royal Caribbean fleet, usually commenting on the efficiency of the elevators that hurl us from deck to deck (as in many large corporate buildings, the elevators ask you to choose a floor and then direct you to one of many lifts). The couple to my right, from Palo Alto—he refers to his “porn mustache” and calls his wife “my cougar” because she is two years older—tell me they are “Pandemic Pinnacles.”

This is the day that my eyes will be opened. Pinnacles , it is explained to me over translucent cantaloupe, have sailed with Royal Caribbean for 700 ungodly nights. Pandemic Pinnacles took advantage of the two-for-one accrual rate of Pinnacle points during the pandemic, when sailing on a cruise ship was even more ill-advised, to catapult themselves into Pinnacle status.

Because of the importance of the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest cruise liner, more than 200 Pinnacles are on this ship, a startling number, it seems. Mrs. Palo Alto takes out a golden badge that I have seen affixed over many a breast, which reads CROWN AND ANCHOR SOCIETY along with her name. This is the coveted badge of the Pinnacle. “You should hear all the whining in Guest Services,” her husband tells me. Apparently, the Pinnacles who are not also Suites like us are all trying to use their status to get into Coastal Kitchen, our elite restaurant. Even a Pinnacle needs to be a Suite to access this level of corned-beef hash.

“We’re just baby Pinnacles,” Mrs. Palo Alto tells me, describing a kind of internal class struggle among the Pinnacle elite for ever higher status.

And now I understand what the maître d’ was saying to me on the first day of my cruise. He wasn’t saying “ pendejo .” He was saying “Pinnacle.” The dining room was for Pinnacles only, all those older people rolling in like the tide on their motorized scooters.

And now I understand something else: This whole thing is a cult. And like most cults, it can’t help but mirror the endless American fight for status. Like Keith Raniere’s NXIVM, where different-colored sashes were given out to connote rank among Raniere’s branded acolytes, this is an endless competition among Pinnacles, Suites, Diamond-Plusers, and facing-the-mall, no-balcony purple SeaPass Card peasants, not to mention the many distinctions within each category. The more you cruise, the higher your status. No wonder a section of the Royal Promenade is devoted to getting passengers to book their next cruise during the one they should be enjoying now. No wonder desperate Royal Caribbean offers (“FINAL HOURS”) crowded my email account weeks before I set sail. No wonder the ship’s jewelry store, the Royal Bling, is selling a $100,000 golden chalice that will entitle its owner to drink free on Royal Caribbean cruises for life. (One passenger was already gaming out whether her 28-year-old son was young enough to “just about earn out” on the chalice or if that ship had sailed.) No wonder this ship was sold out months before departure , and we had to pay $19,000 for a horrid suite away from the Suite Neighborhood. No wonder the most mythical hero of Royal Caribbean lore is someone named Super Mario, who has cruised so often, he now has his own working desk on many ships. This whole experience is part cult, part nautical pyramid scheme.

From the June 2014 issue: Ship of wonks

“The toilets are amazing,” the Palo Altos are telling me. “One flush and you’re done.” “They don’t understand how energy-efficient these ships are,” the husband of the other couple is telling me. “They got the LNG”—liquefied natural gas, which is supposed to make the Icon a boon to the environment (a concept widely disputed and sometimes ridiculed by environmentalists).

But I’m thinking along a different line of attack as I spear my last pallid slice of melon. For my streaming limited series, a Pinnacle would have to get killed by either an outright peasant or a Suite without an ocean view. I tell my breakfast companions my idea.

“Oh, for sure a Pinnacle would have to be killed,” Mr. Palo Alto, the Pandemic Pinnacle, says, touching his porn mustache thoughtfully as his wife nods.

“THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S your time, buddy!” Hubert, my fun-loving Panamanian cabin attendant, shouts as I step out of my suite in a robe. “Take it easy, buddy!”

I have come up with a new dressing strategy. Instead of trying to impress with my choice of T-shirts, I have decided to start wearing a robe, as one does at a resort property on land, with a proper spa and hammam. The response among my fellow cruisers has been ecstatic. “Look at you in the robe!” Mr. Rand cries out as we pass each other by the Thrill Island aqua park. “You’re living the cruise life! You know, you really drank me under the table that night.” I laugh as we part ways, but my soul cries out, Please spend more time with me, Mr. and Mrs. Rand; I so need the company .

In my white robe, I am a stately presence, a refugee from a better limited series, a one-man crossover episode. (Only Suites are granted these robes to begin with.) Today, I will try many of the activities these ships have on offer to provide their clientele with a sense of never-ceasing motion. Because I am already at Thrill Island, I decide to climb the staircase to what looks like a mast on an old-fashioned ship (terrified, because I am afraid of heights) to try a ride called “Storm Chasers,” which is part of the “Category 6” water park, named in honor of one of the storms that may someday do away with the Port of Miami entirely. Storm Chasers consists of falling from the “mast” down a long, twisting neon tube filled with water, like being the camera inside your own colonoscopy, as you hold on to the handles of a mat, hoping not to die. The tube then flops you down headfirst into a trough of water, a Royal Caribbean baptism. It both knocks my breath out and makes me sad.

In keeping with the aquatic theme, I attend a show at the AquaDome. To the sound of “Live and Let Die,” a man in a harness gyrates to and fro in the sultry air. I saw something very similar in the back rooms of the famed Berghain club in early-aughts Berlin. Soon another harnessed man is gyrating next to the first. Ja , I think to myself, I know how this ends. Now will come the fisting , natürlich . But the show soon devolves into the usual Marvel-film-grade nonsense, with too much light and sound signifying nichts . If any fisting is happening, it is probably in the Suite Neighborhood, inside a cabin marked with an upside-down pineapple, which I understand means a couple are ready to swing, and I will see none of it.

I go to the ice show, which is a kind of homage—if that’s possible—to the periodic table, done with the style and pomp and masterful precision that would please the likes of Kim Jong Un, if only he could afford Royal Caribbean talent. At one point, the dancers skate to the theme song of Succession . “See that!” I want to say to my fellow Suites—at “cultural” events, we have a special section reserved for us away from the commoners—“ Succession ! It’s even better than the zombie show! Open your minds!”

Finally, I visit a comedy revue in an enormous and too brightly lit version of an “intimate,” per Royal Caribbean literature, “Manhattan comedy club.” Many of the jokes are about the cruising life. “I’ve lived on ships for 20 years,” one of the middle-aged comedians says. “I can only see so many Filipino homosexuals dressed as a taco.” He pauses while the audience laughs. “I am so fired tonight,” he says. He segues into a Trump impression and then Biden falling asleep at the microphone, which gets the most laughs. “Anyone here from Fort Leonard Wood?” another comedian asks. Half the crowd seems to cheer. As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.

As a coddled passenger with a suite, I feel like I am starting to understand what it means to have a rank and be constantly reminded of it. There are many espresso makers , I think as I look across the expanse of my officer-grade quarters before closing my eyes, but this one is mine .

A shocking sight greets me beyond the pools of Deck 17 as I saunter over to the Coastal Kitchen for my morning intake of slightly sour Americanos. A tiny city beneath a series of perfectly pressed green mountains. Land! We have docked for a brief respite in Basseterre, the capital of St. Kitts and Nevis. I wolf down my egg scramble to be one of the first passengers off the ship. Once past the gangway, I barely refrain from kissing the ground. I rush into the sights and sounds of this scruffy island city, sampling incredible conch curry and buckets of non-Starbucks coffee. How wonderful it is to be where God intended humans to be: on land. After all, I am neither a fish nor a mall rat. This is my natural environment. Basseterre may not be Havana, but there are signs of human ingenuity and desire everywhere you look. The Black Table Grill Has been Relocated to Soho Village, Market Street, Directly Behind of, Gary’s Fruits and Flower Shop. Signed. THE PORK MAN reads a sign stuck to a wall. Now, that is how you write a sign. A real sign, not the come-ons for overpriced Rolexes that blink across the screens of the Royal Promenade.

“Hey, tie your shoestring!” a pair of laughing ladies shout to me across the street.

“Thank you!” I shout back. Shoestring! “Thank you very much.”

A man in Independence Square Park comes by and asks if I want to play with his monkey. I haven’t heard that pickup line since the Penn Station of the 1980s. But then he pulls a real monkey out of a bag. The monkey is wearing a diaper and looks insane. Wonderful , I think, just wonderful! There is so much life here. I email my editor asking if I can remain on St. Kitts and allow the Icon to sail off into the horizon without me. I have even priced a flight home at less than $300, and I have enough material from the first four days on the cruise to write the entire story. “It would be funny …” my editor replies. “Now get on the boat.”

As I slink back to the ship after my brief jailbreak, the locals stand under umbrellas to gaze at and photograph the boat that towers over their small capital city. The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock.

“We hear about all the waterslides,” a sweet young server in one of the cafés told me. “We wish we could go on the ship, but we have to work.”

“I want to stay on your island,” I replied. “I love it here.”

But she didn’t understand how I could possibly mean that.

“WASHY, WASHY, so you don’t get stinky, stinky!” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy.

Meanwhile, I have found a new watering hole for myself, the Swim & Tonic, the biggest swim-up bar on any cruise ship in the world. Drinking next to full-size, nearly naked Americans takes away one’s own self-consciousness. The men have curvaceous mom bodies. The women are equally un-shy about their sprawling physiques.

Today I’ve befriended a bald man with many children who tells me that all of the little trinkets that Royal Caribbean has left us in our staterooms and suites are worth a fortune on eBay. “Eighty dollars for the water bottle, 60 for the lanyard,” the man says. “This is a cult.”

“Tell me about it,” I say. There is, however, a clientele for whom this cruise makes perfect sense. For a large middle-class family (he works in “supply chains”), seven days in a lower-tier cabin—which starts at $1,800 a person—allow the parents to drop off their children in Surfside, where I imagine many young Filipina crew members will take care of them, while the parents are free to get drunk at a swim-up bar and maybe even get intimate in their cabin. Cruise ships have become, for a certain kind of hardworking family, a form of subsidized child care.

There is another man I would like to befriend at the Swim & Tonic, a tall, bald fellow who is perpetually inebriated and who wears a necklace studded with little rubber duckies in sunglasses, which, I am told, is a sort of secret handshake for cruise aficionados. Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.

I usually tan very evenly, but something about the discombobulation of life at sea makes me forget the regular application of sunscreen. As I walk down the streets of Charlotte Amalie in my fluorescent Icon of the Seas cap, an old Rastafarian stares me down. “Redneck,” he hisses.

“No,” I want to tell him, as I bring a hand up to my red neck, “that’s not who I am at all. On my island, Mannahatta, as Whitman would have it, I am an interesting person living within an engaging artistic milieu. I do not wish to use the Caribbean as a dumping ground for the cruise-ship industry. I love the work of Derek Walcott. You don’t understand. I am not a redneck. And if I am, they did this to me.” They meaning Royal Caribbean? Its passengers? The Rands?

“They did this to me!”

Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do. Her face was as tight as a 19-year-old’s, she had so much surgery.” With those words, and beneath a cloudy sky, humidity shrouding our weathered faces and red necks, we set sail once again, hopefully in the direction of home.

THERE ARE BARELY 48 HOURS LEFT to the cruise, and the Icon of the Seas’ passengers are salty. They know how to work the elevators. They know the Washy Washy song by heart. They understand that the chicken gyro at “Feta Mediterranean,” in the AquaDome Market, is the least problematic form of chicken on the ship.

The passengers have shed their INAUGURAL CRUISE T-shirts and are now starting to evince political opinions. There are caps pledging to make America great again and T-shirts that celebrate words sometimes attributed to Patrick Henry: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.” With their preponderance of FAMILY FLAG FAITH FRIENDS FIREARMS T-shirts, the tables by the crepe station sometimes resemble the Capitol Rotunda on January 6. The Real Anthony Fauci , by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., appears to be a popular form of literature, especially among young men with very complicated versions of the American flag on their T-shirts. Other opinions blend the personal and the political. “Someone needs to kill Washy guy, right?” a well-dressed man in the elevator tells me, his gray eyes radiating nothing. “Just beat him to death. Am I right?” I overhear the male member of a young couple whisper, “There goes that freak” as I saunter by in my white spa robe, and I decide to retire it for the rest of the cruise.

I visit the Royal Bling to see up close the $100,000 golden chalice that entitles you to free drinks on Royal Caribbean forever. The pleasant Serbian saleslady explains that the chalice is actually gold-plated and covered in white zirconia instead of diamonds, as it would otherwise cost $1 million. “If you already have everything,” she explains, “this is one more thing you can get.”

I believe that anyone who works for Royal Caribbean should be entitled to immediate American citizenship. They already speak English better than most of the passengers and, per the Serbian lady’s sales pitch above, better understand what America is as well. Crew members like my Panamanian cabin attendant seem to work 24 hours a day. A waiter from New Delhi tells me that his contract is six months and three weeks long. After a cruise ends, he says, “in a few hours, we start again for the next cruise.” At the end of the half a year at sea, he is allowed a two-to-three-month stay at home with his family. As of 2019, the median income for crew members was somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000, according to a major business publication. Royal Caribbean would not share the current median salary for its crew members, but I am certain that it amounts to a fraction of the cost of a Royal Bling gold-plated, zirconia-studded chalice.

And because most of the Icon’s hyper-sanitized spaces are just a frittata away from being a Delta lounge, one forgets that there are actual sailors on this ship, charged with the herculean task of docking it in port. “Having driven 100,000-ton aircraft carriers throughout my career,” retired Admiral James G. Stavridis, the former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, writes to me, “I’m not sure I would even know where to begin with trying to control a sea monster like this one nearly three times the size.” (I first met Stavridis while touring Army bases in Germany more than a decade ago.)

Today, I decide to head to the hot tub near Swim & Tonic, where some of the ship’s drunkest reprobates seem to gather (the other tubs are filled with families and couples). The talk here, like everywhere else on the ship, concerns football, a sport about which I know nothing. It is apparent that four teams have recently competed in some kind of finals for the year, and that two of them will now face off in the championship. Often when people on the Icon speak, I will try to repeat the last thing they said with a laugh or a nod of disbelief. “Yes, 20-yard line! Ha!” “Oh my God, of course, scrimmage.”

Soon we are joined in the hot tub by the late-middle-age drunk guy with the duck necklace. He is wearing a bucket hat with the legend HAWKEYES , which, I soon gather, is yet another football team. “All right, who turned me in?” Duck Necklace says as he plops into the tub beside us. “I get a call in the morning,” he says. “It’s security. Can you come down to the dining room by 10 a.m.? You need to stay away from the members of this religious family.” Apparently, the gregarious Duck Necklace had photobombed the wrong people. There are several families who present as evangelical Christians or practicing Muslims on the ship. One man, evidently, was not happy that Duck Necklace had made contact with his relatives. “It’s because of religious stuff; he was offended. I put my arm around 20 people a day.”

Everyone laughs. “They asked me three times if I needed medication,” he says of the security people who apparently interrogated him in full view of others having breakfast.

Another hot-tub denizen suggests that he should have asked for fentanyl. After a few more drinks, Duck Necklace begins to muse about what it would be like to fall off the ship. “I’m 62 and I’m ready to go,” he says. “I just don’t want a shark to eat me. I’m a huge God guy. I’m a Bible guy. There’s some Mayan theory squaring science stuff with religion. There is so much more to life on Earth.” We all nod into our Red Stripes.

“I never get off the ship when we dock,” he says. He tells us he lost $6,000 in the casino the other day. Later, I look him up, and it appears that on land, he’s a financial adviser in a crisp gray suit, probably a pillar of his North Chicago community.

THE OCEAN IS TEEMING with fascinating life, but on the surface it has little to teach us. The waves come and go. The horizon remains ever far away.

I am constantly told by my fellow passengers that “everybody here has a story.” Yes, I want to reply, but everybody everywhere has a story. You, the reader of this essay, have a story, and yet you’re not inclined to jump on a cruise ship and, like Duck Necklace, tell your story to others at great pitch and volume. Maybe what they’re saying is that everybody on this ship wants to have a bigger, more coherent, more interesting story than the one they’ve been given. Maybe that’s why there’s so much signage on the doors around me attesting to marriages spent on the sea. Maybe that’s why the Royal Caribbean newsletter slipped under my door tells me that “this isn’t a vacation day spent—it’s bragging rights earned.” Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely.

Today is a big day for Icon passengers. Today the ship docks at Royal Caribbean’s own Bahamian island, the Perfect Day at CocoCay. (This appears to be the actual name of the island.) A comedian at the nightclub opined on what his perfect day at CocoCay would look like—receiving oral sex while learning that his ex-wife had been killed in a car crash (big laughter). But the reality of the island is far less humorous than that.

One of the ethnic tristate ladies in the infinity pool told me that she loved CocoCay because it had exactly the same things that could be found on the ship itself. This proves to be correct. It is like the Icon, but with sand. The same tired burgers, the same colorful tubes conveying children and water from Point A to B. The same swim-up bar at its Hideaway ($140 for admittance, no children allowed; Royal Caribbean must be printing money off its clientele). “There was almost a fight at The Wizard of Oz ,” I overhear an elderly woman tell her companion on a chaise lounge. Apparently one of the passengers began recording Royal Caribbean’s intellectual property and “three guys came after him.”

I walk down a pathway to the center of the island, where a sign reads DO NOT ENTER: YOU HAVE REACHED THE BOUNDARY OF ADVENTURE . I hear an animal scampering in the bushes. A Royal Caribbean worker in an enormous golf cart soon chases me down and takes me back to the Hideaway, where I run into Mrs. Rand in a bikini. She becomes livid telling me about an altercation she had the other day with a woman over a towel and a deck chair. We Suites have special towel privileges; we do not have to hand over our SeaPass Card to score a towel. But the Rands are not Suites. “People are so entitled here,” Mrs. Rand says. “It’s like the airport with all its classes.” “You see,” I want to say, “this is where your husband’s love of Ayn Rand runs into the cruelties and arbitrary indignities of unbridled capitalism.” Instead we make plans to meet for a final drink in the Schooner Bar tonight (the Rands will stand me up).

Back on the ship, I try to do laps, but the pool (the largest on any cruise ship, naturally) is fully trashed with the detritus of American life: candy wrappers, a slowly dissolving tortilla chip, napkins. I take an extra-long shower in my suite, then walk around the perimeter of the ship on a kind of exercise track, past all the alluring lifeboats in their yellow-and-white livery. Maybe there is a dystopian angle to the HBO series that I will surely end up pitching, one with shades of WALL-E or Snowpiercer . In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean–like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon features a new technology that converts passengers’ poop into enough energy to power the waterslides . In the series, this shitty technology would be greatly expanded.) A very young woman (18? 19?), smart and lonely, who has only known life on the ship, walks along the same track as I do now, contemplating jumping off into the surf left by its wake. I picture reusing Duck Necklace’s words in the opening shot of the pilot. The girl is walking around the track, her eyes on the horizon; maybe she’s highborn—a Suite—and we hear the voice-over: “I’m 19 and I’m ready to go. I just don’t want a shark to eat me.”

Before the cruise is finished, I talk to Mr. Washy Washy, or Nielbert of the Philippines. He is a sweet, gentle man, and I thank him for the earworm of a song he has given me and for keeping us safe from the dreaded norovirus. “This is very important to me, getting people to wash their hands,” he tells me in his burger getup. He has dreams, as an artist and a performer, but they are limited in scope. One day he wants to dress up as a piece of bacon for the morning shift.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC (the Icon of the Seas is five times as large as that doomed vessel) at least offered its passengers an exciting ending to their cruise, but when I wake up on the eighth day, all I see are the gray ghosts that populate Miami’s condo skyline. Throughout my voyage, my writer friends wrote in to commiserate with me. Sloane Crosley, who once covered a three-day spa mini-cruise for Vogue , tells me she felt “so very alone … I found it very untethering.” Gideon Lewis-Kraus writes in an Instagram comment: “When Gary is done I think it’s time this genre was taken out back and shot.” And he is right. To badly paraphrase Adorno: After this, no more cruise stories. It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship. Writers typically have difficult childhoods, and it is cruel to remind them of the inherent loneliness that drove them to writing in the first place. It is also unseemly to write about the kind of people who go on cruises. Our country does not provide the education and upbringing that allow its citizens an interior life. For the creative class to point fingers at the large, breasty gentlemen adrift in tortilla-chip-laden pools of water is to gather a sour harvest of low-hanging fruit.

A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further. What I found shocked me. My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. It had been there all along. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained.

This article appears in the May 2024 print edition with the headline “A Meatball at Sea.” When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.

Royal Caribbean Shares Sink Over 5% On Troubling Week

S hares of Royal Caribbean sunk to a one-month low Tuesday morning, dropping more than 5% on the day following a string of troubling incidents, a setback for the world’s biggest cruise line as it looks to recover from the COVID-19 pandemic.

Royal Caribbean’s shares dropped to just over $130 Tuesday morning, the company’s lowest point on Wall Street since mid-March, though its shares have rebounded tremendously from its 2020 low of $23.

Despite the setback, the Miami-based company’s shares have climbed nearly 9% on the year.

Royal Caribbean’s disappointing morning on Wall Street coincides with a string of incidents aboard some of its vessels in recent weeks, including an incident in the Mediterranean Sea where a 20-year-old passenger jumped overboard from the line’s Liberty of the Seas during a vacation with his family, prompting a search operation by the U.S. Coast Guard.

That passenger, whose name has not been released, remains missing, while another passenger on a separate Royal Caribbean cruise also remains missing after disembarking during a stop in Cozumel, Mexico.

Last week, the cruise line said it would pay nearly $1.3 million in refunds to passengers who booked trips on the company’s Capital Jazz cruises, as part of a settlement with the Maryland Attorney General’s Office stemming from canceled cruises due to the COVID-19 pandemic

Shares of Royal Caribbean’s biggest competitors also tanked Tuesday morning, with shares of Norwegian Cruise Line falling more than 3% to just below $19 per share, and Carnival Corp.’s stock falling nearly 3% to just above $15.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average has suffered a tumultuous spring, hitting a peak at nearly 40,000 points before tanking over the past two weeks, at one point dropping nearly 400 points on a single day—a 1% drop, amid a decline in a group of asset classes. Despite its successful first quarter, the Dow has since dropped to just over 38,625 points.

Further Reading

Royal Caribbean to pay $1.3 million in refunds over canceled Capital Jazz Cruises

BALTIMORE — It's been more than three years since the Capital Jazz SuperCruise was set to sail.

Then COVID-19 hit, causing the trip to be postponed until January 14, 2022.

Paid customers had the option of getting a refund or cruising on the new date.

While many chose reimbursement, others decided to just wait and travel the following year.

However, those plans ended up being canceled as well due to the Omicron variant.

As result many received no money back for their tickets.

MORE: Cruise customers still seeking refunds after trip was canceled in January

Royal Caribbean Cruises reportedly helped with ticket sales on behalf of Capital Jazz, which is based out of Maryland.

According to the State Attorney General's Office, this left the cruise giant financially responsible.

Royal Caribbean denied those claims insisting they never directly received traveler payments.

They instead placed blame on Capital Jazz, suggesting they're responsible for issuing refunds.

This led to the Attorney General's Office launching an investigation into Royal Caribbean.

The investigation concluded Royal Caribbean engaged in unfair and deceptive practices, in violation of the Consumer Protection Act.

On Wednesday, without having to admit liability or guilt, Royal Caribbean agreed to a settlement that includes $1.3 million in refunds to impacted customers.

“Consumers deserve a refund when a business fails to deliver, even in unforeseen circumstances like the pandemic,” said Maryland Attorney General Anthony Brown.

Those still owed a refund should expect a mailed check within three months.

Questions can be answered by calling 410-528-8662.

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Dad Takes Aim at Cruise Staff After 20-Year-Old Son’s Fatal Jump

Francel Parker told his hometown newspaper that his family doesn’t drink, so he’s unsure how his son got so drunk just before he leaped to his death in the Caribbean.

Josh Fiallo

Breaking News Reporter

Getty Images/Bruno Vincent

The dad of Levion Parker , the 20-year-old Florida outdoorsman who drunkenly leaped to his death in front of his family on a Royal Caribbean cruise last week, is now questioning how his son was able to get so drunk despite being underage.

In an interview with his hometown newspaper, The Daily Sun , Francel Parker insisted that his son wasn’t suicidal and that they weren’t arguing before his fatal plunge—a statement that contradicts what others onboard told the New York Post they witnessed.

Instead, Francel told the paper his son’s spontaneous jump was done out of drunken ignorance—something he suggested should have been avoidable.

“We don’t drink,” he told the Sun . “I’d like to know how my son was served so much alcohol.”

Despite being over international waters at the time of the fatal plunge, roughly midway between Grand Inagua Island and Cuba, cruises that depart and return from U.S. ports are barred from serving alcohol to anyone under 21. Royal Caribbean has released a statement on the incident, but has not addressed witness statements that claimed Levion was drunk.

Parker added that he’s holding out hope his son, an outdoorsman who won a saltwater fishing tournament just last month, is still alive somewhere in the Caribbean—despite Thursday making it a full week since he disappeared into ocean, and two days since the U.S. Coast Guard called off its search.

“As soon as he went off the side, I prayed over him,” he said, adding that his son was a skilled diver. “I was confident the prayers I said over my son were heard. I stand on the word of God. I believe he is alive.”

The tragedy unfolded around 4 a.m. on April 4, on the 11th deck of the massive Liberty of the Seas cruise liner. Witnesses told the Post last week that Levion was hanging out in a hot tub with his brother when he was approached by his dad, who appeared angry that he’d been drinking.

After what he perceived as being an argument, the witness Bryan Sims told the Post he heard Levion tell his dad, “I’ll fix this right now.” Moments later, he jumped into the dark ocean below—an incident Sims described as being an “impulsive leap.”

Sims added that the ship was moving “pretty fast” and that Francel screamed for staff to alert the captain, which brought the ship to a complete stop within 20 minutes. The vessel launched rescue boats, but to no avail—Levion was nowhere to be found.

Francel told the Sun he flung six life rings off the ship hoping one would reach his son, who he said accompanied him on board along with his younger brother to take a break from his work on a commercial fishing boat.

Social media posts showed Levion graduated from North Port High School, in southwest Florida between Sarasota and Fort Myers, in 2022. He played football there, and regularly posted about fishing and hunting.

In in its lone statement on the incident, Royal Caribbean said last week it was “providing support and assistance” to Levion’s family.

“The ship’s crew immediately launched a search and rescue effort alongside the U.S. Coast Guard,” it said, adding, “For the privacy of the guest and their family, we have no additional details to share.”

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