can loved ones visit us from heaven

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Yes, a Loved One Is Watching from Heaven

More By Katie Polski

Both my parents passed away in the month of March. The anniversaries of their deaths are within one week of each other. It’s now been 20 years since my father went to glory and seven since my mom opened her eyes to the full presence of Jesus.

Two dear friends lost a father within the last year, and one—through burning tears—asked me if the intense grief will ever go away. She was close with her father, and his sudden loss caused overwhelming pain and longing.

Does the pain from loss go away? No. I don’t believe we ever shed the hurt entirely, though I do think time eases the despair. The sting that surfaces from time to time and the tears that well in varying seasons are reminders we’ll never feel OK with death—nor should we.

Until the Lord returns, death remains part of this broken and twisted world, so we seek comfort in various ways as we grieve it. Well-meaning people hoping to provide comfort often say things like “Your parents are watching you from above, and I know they’re proud of you.” Others share stories of unexplained phenomena related to their dead loved ones and seem to think we should all be looking for signs from beyond the grave.

The intention behind these ideas is a kind one. But may I gently suggest such statements try to make tangible something that’s intangible? And when we do this, our eyes can easily become stuck on what’s in front of us, causing us to miss the opportunity to look beyond to the One who provides the greatest comfort we could ever need or want.

Gracious Reminders from Jesus

Recently, a friend shared the incredible story of a satellite capturing a few moments of intimate family prayer and praise. My friend’s family had traveled to the place where their dear son and brother died in a car accident, and they stood on the road, circled up, praying as a family. A few weeks later, wanting to see the spot again where her son took his last breath, this mother searched for the road on Google Earth. To her amazement, a satellite had been flying over at the exact moment the family was assembled. There are photos that mark this precious gathering.

Some might say this was a sign from her son that he’s all right. But when we lose loved ones who had a relationship with Jesus, we don’t need hints from them. We can know they’re not just all right—they’re dancing, praising, and living in the very presence of Jesus! It takes faith to believe this. But the Scriptures assure us that while there are many mysteries surrounding the intermediate state, when we die, we wake in the presence of Jesus.

When we lose loved ones who had a relationship with Jesus, we don’t need assurance from them that they’re all right.

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Faith isn’t conditioned upon what we can see with our eyes—it isn’t secured by the physical. Faith is the conviction God’s Word is true and there’s a spiritual world where God is present and always working.

How beautiful that God, in his graciousness, reminds us he’s with us, just as he did for this mother through a seemingly random photo taken by a satellite. How has the Lord assured you he’s near in the deep grief that accompanies loss? The evidence of his presence is there if we look, but let’s not get confused about who’s watching over us. Look beyond your loved one to see and experience the love and kindness of our great God.

Incomparable Comfort from Jesus

After I spoke at a retreat a couple of years ago, a woman approached me at the end of a session, embraced me, and said, “Your parents see your teaching, and I know they must be so proud.” That wasn’t the first time I heard these words uttered, but it was the first time the words stuck with me.

Are my parents really watching me? 

The truth is, Scripture doesn’t give us enough evidence to say for sure one way or the other. It could be that the Lord provides glimpses of what’s going on in my life and in the lives of my sisters. But we do know that if our loved ones see things on earth, they don’t see with the same eyes you and I have because their perspective is no longer tainted by sin.

It’s important not to hyperfocus on what our loved ones may be seeing or not seeing. This emphasis can lead us to think more about our loved ones and less about Jesus. We might even begin to have more conversations with them than we do with the Lord. In Matthew 11, Jesus invites us to come to him when we’re tired, burdened, confused, or worn out. Jesus will provide real and lasting rest. Walk with Jesus, talk with Jesus. In him alone we’ll find the calming and comforting rhythms of grace.

Sure Hope in Jesus

Whether my parents see me now or not, I know I’ll see them again. And because the Lord in his grace and mercy opened my eyes to understand the death he died to pay for my sins, I know I too will one day see Jesus face to face.

Whether my parents see me now or not, I know I’ll see them again.

In the meantime, death doesn’t have the final say. Even as we grieve the loss of those we love so dearly, we know these goodbyes aren’t the end of the story . As the Heidelberg Catechism asks and answers ,

What is your only comfort in life and in death?

That I am not my own, but belong—body and soul, in life and in death—to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ.

Amen and Amen. May we live the life God has given us so devoted to him that others will look past us and see our good and gracious God.

A version of this article appeared at katiepolski.com .

Is there enough evidence for us to believe the Gospels?

Katie Polski is a writer, English teacher, retreat speaker, and Bible study leader. She is married to Chris, pastor of Trinity Church (PCA) in Kirkwood, Missouri, and is mother to Ella, J-Rod, and Lily. Katie works as the music director at Trinity and serves on the women’s ministry committee. You can visit her website at katiepolski.com .

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Can Our Loved Ones in Heaven See Us During Important Times in Our Lives?

I addressed this question in a video a few years ago:

Here are some related thoughts:

It’s odd to me that so many assume people who are now in the present Heaven are completely ignorant of what’s going on here on Earth where the great drama of redemption is unfolding—wouldn’t we think they’d be  more  enlightened, not less?

From what we see in Scripture, it appears people in Heaven have at least some idea of what’s happening here. Now, I’m not making the claim that they know or pay attention to  everything  that’s going on. But take, for example, the martyrs in Revelation 6, who knew that God hadn’t yet brought judgment on those who killed them. It’s likely that they knew many other things about what’s happening on Earth:

“I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. They called out in a loud voice, ‘How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?’ Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and brothers who were to be killed as they had been was completed.” (Revelation 6:9-11)

This passage demonstrates that those in Heaven are the same people—only relocated. There’s continuity of identity from this life to the next. Those we love who are there now are part of what Hebrews 12:23 calls the “righteous men made perfect.”

Notice that the martyrs are aware of what happens on earth when they ask God, “How long... until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?” They know those who killed them haven’t yet been judged. That means the martyrs remember their lives on Earth, even that they were  murdered.  Some say people in Heaven can’t remember or see life on earth because knowing of evil would diminish Heaven’s happiness. But that’s not true. The key to Heaven’s joy isn’t ignorance, but perspective.

When called from Heaven to the Transfiguration, Moses and Elijah “appeared in glorious splendor, talking with Jesus. They spoke about his departure, which he was about to bring to fulfillment at Jerusalem” (Luke 9:31). They seemed fully aware of what was transpiring on Earth, and what God was about to do.

Also consider this: Christ referred to “rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents” (Luke 15:7). Similarly, He said, “there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents” (Luke 15:10). It doesn’t speak of rejoicing  by  the angels but  in the presence of angels.  Surely this includes saints in Heaven, who would be overjoyed by human conversions, especially of those they knew and loved on Earth. To rejoice over conversions on Earth,  they must be aware of what is happening on Earth —not generally, but specifically.

Hebrews 12:1-2 tells us to “run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” It evokes the image of Greek competitions watched by throngs of engrossed fans sitting high in ancient stadiums. The saints who’ve gone before us are called a “great cloud of witnesses.” This imagery suggests those saints—veteran spiritual athletes—watch us and cheer us on from the great stadium of Heaven. (Note that the witnesses are said to “surround” us, not just to have preceded us.)

Earth is center stage, awaiting the universe’s climactic event: Christ’s return. In Heaven, Christ watches closely what transpires on earth, especially in the lives of believers (Revelation 2-3). If God’s attention is on earth, why wouldn’t the attention of His loyal subjects be here too?

My mom was one of the closest friends I’ve ever had, and she’s been in Heaven for almost forty years. I can’t wait (but I will) to see her again. Mom died just four months after our Angie was born. I said at both our daughters’ weddings, in the summer of 2001, that I believed their two grandmothers were watching from Heaven. And since Nanci’s mom had been blind her last few years here, she was seeing the wedding in a way she couldn’t have even a few months earlier before she died.

I firmly believe this is true, but even if I was wrong on that point (since of course I can’t know exactly when God allows people to see events on Earth and when He doesn’t), I would not be wrong in praying “Lord, please tell Mom her precious granddaughters love You with all their hearts and married young men that do too. That will mean so much to her.”

My guess is that Mom knows all that anyway, and that she is enjoying seeing God at work in the lives of our grandchildren, her great-grandchildren she hasn’t yet been able to hug.

So, I believe Scripture clearly suggests our loved ones now in Heaven are witnessing, in at least some capacity, God’s unfolding plan on earth. They live in a place where joy is the air they breathe, and nothing they see on earth can diminish their joy. Their happiness doesn’t depend on ignorance, but perspective, drawn from the Christ in whose presence they live.

If you’re following Jesus, no doubt your loved ones there are rejoicing over you and looking forward to the great reunion. In fact, when we enter Heaven, I think our family and friends will among those right there with Jesus to give us a “rich welcome” (2 Peter 1:11). 

Photo by Lamna The Shark on Unsplash

Randy Alcorn ( @randyalcorn ) is the author of over sixty  books and the founder and director of Eternal Perspective Ministries . 

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