cruise ship of caribbean

• Cruise Destinations

Cruises to the Caribbean

• Carnival Breeze
• Carnival Celebration
• Carnival Conquest
• Carnival Dream
• Carnival Elation
• Carnival Freedom
• Carnival Horizon
• Carnival Jubilee
• Carnival Legend
• Carnival Liberty
• Carnival Magic
• Carnival Miracle
• Carnival Paradise
• Carnival Pride
• Carnival Spirit
• Carnival Sunrise
• Carnival Sunshine
• Carnival Valor
• Carnival Venezia
• Carnival Vista

* Coming Soon

ENJOY THIS BAHAMIAN PRIVATE ISLAND PARADISE

• Ports of Call

We don’t have proof, but evidence suggests that the Caribbean was made for cruising. This evidence is all around you — you’ll find in the Caribbean air, the sand and the water. And with more than 5,000 islands and cays spread across this amazing region, there’s a lot of paradise to see. So how do you choose where to visit on a Caribbean cruise? We recommend you just go and see for yourself! Best of all, the mild climate means it doesn’t even matter what time of year you go. A Carnival Caribbean cruise takes you to some of the coolest little hotspots… stretching across the world’s designated hotspot.

• Snorkel great natural reefs in crystal-clear waters.
• Enjoy year-round tropical weather.
• Take in the beach view on horseback… or beach chair.

YOU WANT WHERE? WE GO THERE.

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Grand Cayman

Progreso, Yucatán

St. Maarten

Montego Bay

Curaçao

Santa Marta

Port Canaveral (Orlando)

New Orleans

Manhattan, New York City

Celebration Key

Mahogany Bay

Half Moon Cay

Princess Cays

THINKING ABOUT THE CARIBBEAN?

We've got some daydream options for you.

* Taxes, fees, and port expenses are additional per person.

Best Cruises to the Caribbean

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Celebrity Beyond

Launched in April 2022, Celebrity Beyond is the third ship in the cruise line's Edge Series, capable of holding up to 3,260 passengers and 1,400 crew members. On board, guests have their pick of 32 food and beverage venues serving everything from Greek to French to Italian cuisine; there are also several cocktail bars and lounges where guests can grab a drink.

One of the highlights of Celebrity Beyond is its 4,500-piece art collection, which includes works by travel photographers and international artists. There is also no shortage of unique entertainment options; these range from acrobatic shows to juggling mixologist performances. To enjoy stunning water views, enjoy Celebrity's "Magic Carpet," a large platform that hangs off the edge of the ship and moves from deck to deck.

Staterooms offer amenities like plush bathrobes, comfortable Cashmere mattresses and flat-screen TVs; many also come with private verandas. For a one-of-a-kind experience, splurge on a room in The Retreat. This resort-within-a-resort features villas and suites with added luxuries like plunge pools, hot tubs and butlers. Plus, guests of The Retreat have exclusive access to a private sundeck, restaurant and lounge, along with an onboard credit that can be used however you see fit.

Celebrity Beyond sails to a variety of popular Mediterranean and Caribbean destinations, including the French Riviera, Italy, Mexico and more. 

U.S. News Insider Tip: On Celebrity Beyond, if you're lucky, your drink might be poured by Captain Kate McCue herself during the nightly flair bartender show at the Grand Plaza Martini Bar. Make sure to follow her behind-the-scenes adventures on Instagram. – Skye Sherman, Contributor

Debuted in October 2021, Rotterdam welcomes up to 2,668 guests. The name hearkens back to the line's founding in the late 19th century, when its first ship, Rotterdam, sailed from the Netherlands to New York. Though the ship's name is rooted in the cruise line's past, its amenities are anything but antiquated. 

Among Rotterdam's standout facilities is World Stage, a performance venue that features a two-story, 270-degree wraparound LED screen that creates a panorama of light and sound for audience members. For more entertainment, passengers can catch a performance at any of the ship's numerous music venues, including the Rolling Stone Rock Room and B.B. King's Blues Club.

When travelers aren't grooving to live tunes, they can test their luck at the onboard casino or relax at the spa. Meanwhile, kids can play the day away at the Kids Club. Foodies will be pleased to hear the ship offers eight dining options, including Rudi's Sel de Mer, a French brasserie, and Tamarind, which highlights the culinary traditions of Southeast Asia, China and Japan.

Cabins range in size from 143 square feet to 1,290 square feet, with some of the luxury suites boasting floor-to-ceiling windows, whirlpool baths and verandas with hot tubs.

Sailings aboard Rotterdam depart from ports like Fort Lauderdale, Florida , and Amsterdam to destinations in the Caribbean, Europe and the Panama Canal.

U.S. News Insider Tip: The art collection aboard Rotterdam is valued at more than $4.1 million and has 2,645 pieces of diverse works ranging in value from $500 to $620,000. Take some time to walk around the ship to explore the collections. Each of the three stairwells has a theme that reaches from top to bottom: architecture, music or zoology. – Jill Schildhouse, Contributor

Celebrity Apex

The Celebrity Apex – which made its inaugural sailing in June 2021 – can hold up to 2,910 passengers and 1,320 crew members. Guests can wine and dine at 29 restaurants, bars and lounges, then spend the night testing their luck at the casino or enjoying live music at the Magic Carpet (which offers great ocean views). Specialty restaurants include a steakhouse and a raw bar, while main dining options feature Mediterranean, Italian and French cuisines. There are also meeting spaces and multipurpose areas on board, as well as upscale shops. 

Visit the spa or adults-only Solarium pool to stay relaxed throughout your stay at sea. For younger travelers, there are some kid-friendly areas of the ship – such as a Camp at Sea. However, the ship is geared more toward adult clientele (or families with older children) looking for a relaxing escape.

The ship's staterooms, which start at 181 square feet, offer smart TVs, customizable air conditioning and plenty of storage space. Many rooms also offer private verandas. If you're willing to splurge, consider booking a room in The Retreat. This exclusive section of the ship features luxury accommodations as well as access to a private restaurant, sun deck and lounge. Plus, rooms in The Retreat offer more space, measuring up to 1,892 square feet.

The Celebrity Apex sails to European destinations like Greece, Italy, Croatia and Portugal, as well as to Caribbean hot spots like St. Thomas , Puerto Rico , Belize and Grand Cayman . 

Seven Seas Splendor

Debuted in September 2021, the 746-passenger, 548-crew member Seven Seas Splendor is the newest ship within the Regent fleet. Seven Seas Splendor – along with most of the line's other ships – takes opulence to the next level by equipping each suite with its own private balcony. Other standard in-room amenities include interactive flat-screen TVs, luxurious bath products, bathrobes and slippers, signature queen-size beds and dining tables for two. There are 10 suite categories available, ranging from the smallest Veranda (307 square feet) and Deluxe Veranda suites (308 to 361 square feet) to the largest Regent (4,443 square feet) and Master suites (1,895 to 2,108 square feet). 

Guests have a wide array of things to do while on board. Spend your days relaxing at the spa, playing paddle tennis or bocce ball, working up a sweat on the jogging track or taking a dip in the ship's two whirlpools and two pools, one of which is an infinity-edge pool that stretches along the edge of the ship, providing swimmers with exceptional views of the ocean. At night, enjoy one of five shows at the onboard theater. 

When it comes to food, Seven Seas Splendor offers eight eateries ranging from casual to fine dining. Enjoy your breakfast alfresco at La Veranda and grub down for lunch at the Pool Grill buffet. For something more formal, opt for a French-inspired meal at Chartreuse, Pan-Asian dishes at Pacific Rim or Compass Rose, the largest restaurant on the ship.

Seven Seas Splendor visits a variety of European and Mediterranean destinations, as well as ports across Europe, the Caribbean, Africa and South America.

Debuted in May 2023, Oceania Cruises' first new ship in more than a decade can hold up to 1,200 passengers and 800 crew members. Vista is the inaugural ship in Oceania's Allura Class, featuring top-of-the-line amenities like a culinary center, an artist loft and an extensive library, along with facilities like a pool, a casino, a spa and a fitness center. Additionally, Vista offers enrichment opportunities like destination-focused seminars led by guest speakers and dynamic musical performances.

One of the highlights of Oceania Vista is its wide array of dining venues, from specialty restaurants like Ember (American fare) and Toscana (Italian cuisine) to the poolside Waves Grill and daily afternoon tea service. In the evening, guests can grab a drink at their choice of several bars and lounges; Vista's immersive mixology program utilizes innovative techniques and trends to create an elevated cocktail experience.

Vista's well-appointed staterooms – which range from 240 to 2,400 square feet – boast balconies, queen-size beds, rainforest showers, flat-screen TVs and 24-hour room service, among other amenities. If you splurge for a suite, you'll enjoy added benefits like iPads, cashmere blankets, complimentary laundry and shoeshine services, access to the Executive Lounge and butler service.

Oceania Vista explores an array of popular destinations in the U.S., the Caribbean, Mexico, the Mediterranean and more.

U.S. News Insider Tip:  The design of the Vista creates more expansive and contemporary public areas than other ships in Oceania's fleet, so even when the ship is at full capacity, it never feels crowded. Also, since it is an all-veranda ship, all guests have the same great ocean view. – Julie L. Kessler, Contributor

Disney Magic

The 2,713-passenger Disney Magic is the oldest ship in the Disney Cruise Line fleet (it first launched in 1998). It was last refurbished in May 2023, when it received updates like a "Soul"-themed lounge, concierge-level upgrades and a new "Encanto" live show. The ship also features family favorites such as the AquaDuck waterslide, the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique dress-up shop and Edge, an interactive game center for tweens.

Disney Magic features diverse entertainment, including live shows, an open-air Wide World of Sports deck, three pools and a splash area for children younger than 3. Unique to the Magic is the teens-only Chill Spa. When it comes to dining, the ship offers eight eateries, including an adults-only specialty restaurant and buffet options. Recent cruisers gave the food quality mixed reviews.

In terms of lodging, 70% of cabins offer ocean views or verandas. All cabins are outfitted with flat-screen TVs, sitting areas and bathrooms with separate showers and tubs. Suites include extra perks such as concierge service and media libraries. Past cruisers noted that the service on this ship is up to Disney's standards, but so is the price tag.

Disney Magic sails from Galveston, Texas ;  San Diego ;  Miami ; Fort Lauderdale, Florida ;  New Orleans ; and  San Juan, Puerto Rico . It visits destinations across the Bahamas , the Caribbean, Mexico and the Panama Canal.

U.S. News Insider Tip : Once per sailing, guests are invited to watch Tangled: The Musical in the Walt Disney Theater. This Broadway-style show retells the story of Rapunzel and Flynn Rider with three new original songs, puppets, and beautiful costumes. This show is very popular, so it's best to get to the theater about an hour before the show starts to get a good seat. Doors open 30 minutes prior to showtime. – Megan duBois, Contributor

Symphony of the Seas

The 6,680-passenger, 2,200-crew-member Symphony of the Seas set sail in 2018 and features 18 decks packed with activities.

For heart-pounding fun, travelers will find a surf simulator, an indoor ice skating rink, two 40-foot rock walls, a zip line and a 10-story slide. Meanwhile, relaxation seekers can unwind in the spa, sip cocktails made by robotic bartenders or stroll through the Central Park -inspired neighborhood.

Onboard snacks and meals are served at 20 quick-service and sit-down eateries. The Main Dining Room is where the ship's traditional, complimentary dinners are provided nightly, but specialty options like a steakhouse, a bistro and a Johnny Rockets outpost are also available. What's more, cruisers can dine at Jamie's Italian, a restaurant helmed by celebrity chef Jamie Oliver.

After filling up on gourmet fare, passengers can retreat to their cabins, all of which include work desks, flat-screen TVs and minibars. Guests can choose from 149-square-foot Interior Staterooms, some of which have virtual balconies with real-time views of the ocean, or opt for upgraded cabins with furnished balconies and up to 1,524 square feet of space. Select suites also feature two bedrooms, whirlpool tubs and dining rooms.

Symphony of the Seas departs from Cape Liberty, New Jersey, Miami , Fort Lauderdale, Rome and Barcelona for sailings throughout the Caribbean and Europe.

U.S. News Insider Tip: If you’re on one of the 19 Royal Caribbean ships that have a FlowRider, like Symphony of the Seas (which has two!), reserve a private lesson with a pro. For a small fee, you'll save yourself some embarrassment and get more ride time. – Skye Sherman, Contributor

Odyssey of the Seas

Launched in July 2021, the Odyssey of the Seas holds 5,498 passengers and 1,550 crew members. Royal Caribbean's latest ship is the first Quantum Ultra Class vessel to sail in the United States. As a member of this class, Odyssey of the Seas offers standout amenities like RipCord by iFLY, billed as the only skydiving simulator available at sea, and the FlowRider, a 40-foot-long surf simulator. There is also the North Star observation capsule, which hoists guests 300 feet above sea level over the cruise ship to enjoy unparalleled views below. 

In addition to these thrilling activities, the ship comes equipped with standard facilities like pools, an arcade, a spa, a fitness center with classes, kids clubs and shopping venues. There are also 15 dining options, ranging from Japanese fare to all-you-can-eat buffets to Starbucks. For drinks, the ship offers nine bars and lounges, giving passengers plenty of places to enjoy libations. Entertainment options include theatrical performances, live music, a casino, outdoor movie nights and more. 

As far as cabins go, cruisers can choose between Interior, Ocean View, and Balcony staterooms, as well as suite accommodations and new Virtual Balcony rooms. These technologically advanced cabins feature floor-to-ceiling displays that project real-time views of the sights and sounds from the outside of the ship. 

Odyssey of the Seas sails to ports in Europe, as well as to various destinations in the Caribbean from Fort Lauderdale, Florida and Cape Liberty, New Jersey.

Launched in April 2016, Viking Sea is the second vessel in Viking's Ocean Cruises fleet. Carrying 930 passengers, the ship's small size is designed to allow direct access to smaller ports around the world.

Viking Sea's staterooms range from 270-square-foot Veranda Staterooms to the 1,448-square-foot Owner's Suite. All accommodations include balconies, flat-screen TVs, king-sized beds, complimentary Wi-Fi access and bathrooms with heated floors. Those who splurge on upgraded staterooms receive extra perks like priority reservations for excursions, spa treatments and specialty restaurants.

The ship's facilities include a fitness center, a Nordic spa (complete with a snow grotto), an outdoor gym and yoga area, a theater and a one-of-a-kind infinity pool on the stern of the ship that gives the illusion of swimming in the ocean.

When you work up an appetite, the Viking Sea offers a variety of dining options to quell your hunger. They range from casual Norwegian cuisine at Mamsen's to alfresco dining on the Aquavit Terrace. Recent passengers report a stellar onboard experience, describing the food as delicious, the ship as comfortable and the service as top-notch.

Viking Sea sails to ports across Alaska, Canada, Europe, the Caribbean and the West Indies.

Scarlet Lady

The first ship within the Virgin Voyages fleet, the adults-only Scarlet Lady welcomes more than 2,770 passengers and 1,160 crew members. Debuted in October 2021, the Scarlet Lady boasts a collection of unique amenities not often found on cruise ships, including a tattoo studio, a record shop and a blow-dry bar. And instead of a buffet or a dining hall, the Scarlet Lady offers a collection of more than 20 specialty restaurants, all covered by the cruise fare. Standouts include Extra Virgin, a traditional Italian restaurant serving handmade pasta, and Gunbae, a Korean barbecue eatery.

The Scarlet Lady also deviates from cruise industry tradition when it comes to onboard entertainment. Instead of Broadway classics, cruisers will be treated to six original shows, along with "micro plays" that are performed throughout the ship.

Cabin sizes range from 105 to 177 square feet for the Insider rooms to nearly 2,150 square feet for the RockStar Quarters suites. The latter are outfitted with marble bathrooms and serviced by RockStar Agents who are available to assist guests 24/7. All accommodations feature mood lighting, minibars, free Wi-Fi and adjustable Seabeds, which allow travelers to transform their beds into couches when they want to entertain.

The Scarlet Lady sails to destinations in the Caribbean, like the Bahamas , from Miami .

U.S. News Insider Tip:  Use the app to book dinner reservations as far out from your sailing as you can, or 45 days out for most sailors. If you wait until closer to time or until you're on board, you will likely find that the most popular restaurants and dining times are all booked up. –  Holly Johnson, Contributor

Disclaimers about ship ratings: A ship’s Health Rating is based on vessel inspection scores published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). If a ship did not receive a CDC score within 22 months prior to the calculation of its Overall Rating, its Health Rating appears as N/A; in such a case, the ship’s Overall Rating is calculated using the average Health Rating of all CDC-rated ships within the cruise line. All ship Traveler Ratings are based on ratings provided under license by Cruiseline.com.

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The 7 classes of Royal Caribbean cruise ships, explained

Editor's Note

Even if you're a newcomer to cruising, you've probably heard of Royal Caribbean 's giant Icon Class and Oasis Class ships. With the exception of a single MSC Cruises vessel , they're far bigger than any other cruise vessel afloat and like nothing else you'll find at sea.

Indeed, when you hear people talking about the wow factor of Royal Caribbean's "floating megaresorts," it's likely they're referring to the six ships in these two sets of vessels. This includes the just-unveiled Icon of the Seas — the world's biggest cruise ship.

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That said, not all Royal Caribbean ships are similarly supersized. While the line is perhaps best known for giant vessels — it operates six of the 10 biggest cruise ships in the world — it also markets some relatively smaller, more intimate ships.

In fact, Royal Caribbean has eight vessels that are less than half the size of the Oasis Class ships.

If you're thinking about booking a Royal Caribbean cruise, you'll find the line offers a wide range of ship styles and designs.

With the relatively recent removal of two older ships from its fleet, Royal Caribbean — the world's largest cruise line by passenger capacity — now has 27 oceangoing vessels in all. That's more than any other major cruise line, and it means that you have a lot of choices when it comes to picking the perfect Royal Caribbean ship for you.

Related: The ultimate guide to Royal Caribbean

The good news for those of you trying to get a handle on all the options is that the 27 ships can easily be bunched into just seven groups of vessels that have similar amenities. If you know one member of the group, you know them all.

These seven groups are made up of ships constructed around the same time with the same basic design. They're known in cruise industry lingo as "classes," and each has its own look and feel.

An introduction to Royal Caribbean ships

For the most part, Royal Caribbean operates big, bustling megaships that will appeal to people who like a megaresort experience. The company has built its brand around offering vacationers a ton of diversions on its ships, whether for dining (some vessels have more than 20 distinct places to grab a bite) or entertainment. Its vessels are lively and fun.

The over-the-top megaresort experience on a Royal Caribbean ship varies from class to class, though.

Related: Everything you need to know about Royal Caribbean cabins and suites

The line's one Icon Class and five Oasis Class ships are unlike anything else you'll find at sea when it comes to size, amenities and capacity. They each can hold more than 6,600 passengers, with every berth full.

Somewhat smaller in size but still giant by any measure, each of the line's five Quantum Class and three Freedom Class vessels has a total capacity ranging from around 4,500 to 5,600 passengers. With space for around 3,800 passengers at maximum occupancy, the line's five Voyager Class vessels are relatively large, too.

Together, the 19 vessels of these five classes — Icon, Oasis, Quantum, Freedom and Voyager — make up Royal Caribbean's big-ship fleet. The line's remaining eight vessels, split among two classes, are smaller, with maximum occupancy topping out at around 2,500 passengers.

While no longer the focus at Royal Caribbean, the smaller ships (which are generally the line's older ships) allow it to offer itineraries to places that aren't as easy for big ships to visit. Not all ports in the world can handle a ship the size of Icon of the Seas.

The smaller ships also appeal to a subset of Royal Caribbean fans who prefer more intimacy in a cruise vessel and don't mind giving up some onboard amenities to get it. They are also often less expensive to sail per day.

Related: A beginners guide to picking a cruise line

As you might expect, the biggest Royal Caribbean ships have the most amenities. With each step down in size, you'll find fewer restaurants, bars, entertainment venues and attractions. Even the smallest Royal Caribbean ships still have quite a bit to offer, though.

If you're sailing with the line for the first time, it's important to understand that not all of Royal Caribbean's signature attractions and venues are present on all its ships. For instance, while every Royal Caribbean vessel now has one of the line's iconic climbing walls (some have two), only the 19 ships of the line's big-ship classes have a FlowRider surfing simulator. Only the 14 ships of the Icon, Oasis, Freedom and Voyager classes have ice skating rinks.

Here is a look at the seven classes of Royal Caribbean ships in more detail.

Ships in class: Icon of the Seas (2024), Star of the Seas (coming in 2025); unnamed vessel (coming in 2026)

Size: 250,800 tons

Is your idea of a great vacation a trip to a megaresort loaded with more restaurants, bars, theaters and watery amusements than you can imagine? Royal Caribbean's new Icon Class is the ship class for you.

As mentioned above, Icon of the Seas — the only Icon Class ship currently in operation — is bigger than any other cruise vessel afloat at 250,800 tons, and for big-ship lovers, there's really nothing quite like it. The two more Icon Class ships debuting soon will be equally over-the-top in size and venues.

Each of the Icon Class vessels that are operating or soon to debut has been designed with seven separate pools (a new record for a cruise ship), a water park with six waterslides (also a record), a kiddie splash zone, surfing simulators, a miniature golf course, a basketball court and even a zip line. And that's just on their top decks.

Inside the vessels, you'll find more lounges, bars, restaurants and shops than you can imagine — plus huge casinos, spas and showrooms with Broadway-style shows. They even have indoor ice skating rinks, just in case you want to get your Michelle Kwan on.

What you won't find on the Icon Class ships is intimacy. These are vessels that can carry as many as 7,600 passengers when every berth is filled. They operate with around 2,300 crew members. That means you could be sharing your vacation with nearly 10,000 people.

If the above sounds downright outrageous to you, it is. Keep in mind, though, that the biggest megaresorts on land are even bigger. The biggest resort in the U.S. — The Venetian in Las Vegas — has 7,092 rooms. That means it can hold more than 14,000 guests, assuming there are two people per room.

By that measure, Icon Class ships are almost small.

Icon Class ships also don't necessarily feel as crowded as they are. Royal Caribbean's designers are masters at creating vessels that can carry thousands and thousands of people but still feel relatively uncrowded — at least in some areas. You can have a quiet afternoon reading a book on a bench in the sometimes nearly empty, tree-lined Central Park area of Icon of the Seas while, just a few decks above, thousands of vacationers are frolicking about at the ship's pools.

Related: Why Royal Caribbean's new Icon of the Seas won't feel as crowded as you think

Only one ship in this series (Icon of the Seas) is currently operating, but the second vessel in the series (Star of the Seas) is already open for bookings. Its maiden voyage is set for Aug. 17, 2025.

Quantum Class

Ships in class: Quantum of the Seas (2014), Anthem of the Seas (2015), Ovation of the Seas (2016), Spectrum of the Seas (2019) and Odyssey of the Seas (2021)

Size: 168,666 to 169,379 tons

Unveiled in 2014, the Quantum Class may be Royal Caribbean's most innovative class ever.

In addition to a wide range of restaurants, bars and showrooms, the five ships in the class feature some of the most unusual new attractions you'll find at sea. This includes bumper car pavilions (yes, somehow they found room for these) and skydiving simulators.

The ships also have glass-enclosed capsules mounted on mechanical arms that will take you soaring into the sky for bird's-eye views. They're called the North Star rides, and they may be the oddest attractions ever added to the top of a cruise ship.

Quantum Class ships also feature unusual, multilevel entertainment spaces with floor-to-ceiling glass walls called Two70. The spaces are home to innovative shows that often feature aerial performers, singers and dancers who emerge from openings in the floor or the ceiling. At certain times of the day, the glass walls transform into an expansive ambient surface called Vistarama that projects real and imagined scenes.

Related: The 10 wildest attractions you'll find on a cruise ship

All the above come in addition to many of the core Royal Caribbean attractions you'll find on most of the brand's ships, including pools, rock climbing walls, casinos, spas and Broadway-style shows. But don't expect all the classic Royal Caribbean features on Quantum Class ships. For instance, you won't find ice skating rinks on the vessels even though they're a staple of all other big Royal Caribbean ships. Quantum Class ships also don't have water parks.

The Quantum Class ships aren't quite as big as Royal Caribbean's Icon Class and Oasis Class vessels (and thus don't have quite as much room for things like ice skating rinks). At around 169,000 tons, though, they're still among the biggest ships at sea, with a significant number of venues.

They also can carry a lot of people. Most of the ships in the class hold 4,180 passengers at double occupancy — 4,905 if every berth is filled. One exception is Spectrum of the Seas, which was specifically built for the China market with some design differences. It can hold up to 5,622 passengers. Additionally, the newest ship in the series, Odyssey of the Seas, can hold up to 5,498 passengers.

Related: 4 things you'll love about Royal Caribbean's new Odyssey of the Seas

One more big difference between the ships of the Quantum Class and other big Royal Caribbean ships: The Quantum Class ships are designed to be more versatile.

If you look closely at their deck plans, you'll notice that more of their main attractions are indoors and protected from the elements than the ships of the Icon, Oasis or Freedom classes, for example.

One of the two main pool areas on each Quantum Class ship (except Odyssey of the Seas) is enclosed. The bumper car pavilions are, too, doubling as roller skating rinks or indoor basketball courts. This allows Royal Caribbean to send the ships to cooler regions of the world, such as Alaska and Northern Europe, where the temperatures aren't always conducive to outdoor activity.

Royal Caribbean has also used some Quantum Class ships for sailings out of China.

Related: Everything you need to know about Royal Caribbean's loyalty program

Oasis Class

Ships in class: Oasis of the Seas (2009), Allure of the Seas (2010), Harmony of the Seas (2016), Symphony of the Seas (2018), Wonder of the Seas (2022) and Utopia of the Seas (coming 2024)

Size: 226,838 to 236,857 tons

Until this year's debut of Icon of the Seas, these were the world's biggest and most venue-packed cruise ships. Although they're not quite as big as the new vessel, they remain among the very best options for vacationers who love nothing more than a big, bustling resort with every sort of amusement known to humans.

Each of the Oasis Class vessels has three separate main pool areas, a kiddie splash zone, surfing simulators, a miniature golf course, a basketball court and a zip line on their top decks — a nearly as wide array of features as the new Icon of the Seas. Inside the vessels, as on Icon of the Seas, you'll find a seemingly endless number of lounges, bars, restaurants and shops, as well as large casinos, spas and showrooms. Like Icon of the Seas, each ship has an indoor ice skating rink.

As is the case for Royal Caribbean's new Icon Class ships, which have many similarities with the Oasis Class ships, these vessels carry a huge number of people. They can carry as many as 6,988 passengers when every berth is filled. They operate with around 2,200 crew members. That means you could be sharing your vacation with more than 9,000 people — not quite as many as the nearly 10,000 you could find on an Icon Class ship but still a huge number.

The good news for those of you worried about excessive crowds is that, as is the case with the Icon Class ships, the Oasis Class ships don't necessarily feel as crowded as they are. Royal Caribbean designed them with a "neighborhood" concept that spreads passengers out in seven or eight (depending on the ship) distinct areas, such as the Pool and Sports Zone and the Boardwalk amusement zone. A lot of thought went into how passengers move between these neighborhoods, too.

Note that there are a few differences from ship to ship in the Oasis Class series. For starters, the three newest and largest ships in the series — Wonder of the Seas, Symphony of the Seas and Harmony of the Seas — have a few additional attractions and venues. Among them is the Ultimate Abyss, a terrifying slide that drops nine decks. (Royal Caribbean says it drops 10 decks, but don't be fooled; the line counts a nonexistent Deck 13.)

There are also giant waterslides on four of the five ships. Only Allure of the Seas is missing them. There are plans to add waterslides to Allure of the Seas, but they were put on hold after COVID-19 shut down cruising in 2020.

Related: The 6 most spectacular waterslides and watery fun zones at sea

A handful of restaurants also differ from ship to ship in the series.

The newest and largest ship in the series, Wonder of the Seas, has the most differences from the other Oasis Class vessels. At 236,857 tons, it's about 4% bigger than the next biggest ship in the series; the extra space is devoted to such additions as a dedicated suite area with a private lounge, a restaurant and a sun deck.

Related: Why Wonder of the Seas is awesome for families | Wonder of the Seas cabin comparison | A wild race to try every Wonder of the Seas attraction in 2 days

A sixth ship in the Oasis Class series, Utopia of the Seas , is scheduled to debut in July. Construction of the vessel began in April 2022 at the Chantiers de l'Atlantique shipyard in St. Nazaire, France — the same shipyard that built Wonder of the Seas.

Radiance Class

Ships in class: Radiance of the Seas (2001), Brilliance of the Seas (2002), Serenade of the Seas (2003) and Jewel of the Seas (2004)

Size: 90,090 tons

Not sure you want to sail on a megaship with 6,000 people but still want a vessel with a good amount of features and activities? The Radiance Class ships may be the perfect solution.

At 90,090 tons, the four vessels in the series are less than half the size of Royal Caribbean's massive Icon Class and Oasis Class ships, but still big enough that they have a lot to offer.

Each vessel has more than a half-dozen places to eat, including the main restaurant, a casual buffet, a steakhouse, an Italian restaurant and an Asian venue.

You'll also find three pools on each ship, whirlpools, a rock climbing wall, a miniature golf course, a sports court and an adults-only solarium. Each ship has a theater, a spa, a casino, and multiple bars and lounges.

What you won't find on the ships, because of their smaller size, are all the gee-whiz attractions — such as ice skating rinks, surfing simulators, giant waterslides and bumper car pavilions — that Royal Caribbean has put on its bigger vessels. If you can't live without those sorts of features on a cruise ship, the Radiance class probably isn't for you.

Each Radiance Class ship holds more than 2,100 passengers at double occupancy (plus a few hundred more with every berth filled). That's less than half the number of passengers on the biggest Royal Caribbean ships.

That makes them perfect for cruisers who want to get away from the sort of crowds on the biggest megaships without giving up many of the amenities that big ships offer.

Freedom Class

Ships in class: Freedom of the Seas (2006), Liberty of the Seas (2007) and Independence of the Seas (2008)

Size: 154,407 to 156,271 tons

As recently as 2009, these were the biggest cruise ships in the world, and they're still quite big compared to almost all other cruise vessels afloat.

While no longer on the list of the top 25 biggest cruise ships — they've been displaced by Royal Caribbean's Icon, Oasis and Quantum Class vessels, as well as several ships from other lines — the Freedom Class vessels offer a classic big-ship experience with lots of restaurants, bars, showrooms and deck-top attractions.

The Freedom Class ships, notably, were the first Royal Caribbean ships to feature a FlowRider surfing simulator on their top decks — now a signature attraction for the line. The vessels also have multiple pool areas, a water park, a miniature golf course and a rock climbing wall on their top decks (which are among the most activity-packed at sea).

Indeed, the top decks of Freedom Class ships are more loaded with attractions than any other Royal Caribbean vessels except the Icon Class and Oasis Class vessels. You just won't find several of the most over-the-top attractions, such as zip lines, that Icon Class and Oasis Class ships have.

In their interiors, Freedom Class vessels have the mall-like Royal Promenade spaces filled with eateries, bars and shops that have become standard on bigger Royal Caribbean ships. They also have large casinos and spas.

Related: Royal Caribbean just fixed the worst part of cruising

At around 156,000 tons, the Freedom Class ships are about 38% smaller than the Icon Class ships and 31% smaller than the Oasis Class ships, a significant step down in size. They're nearly 8% smaller than the Quantum Class ships.

They also carry significantly fewer passengers than the Oasis Class ships. Freedom of the Seas and Independence of the Seas carry about 3,900 passengers at double occupancy (closer to 4,600 with every berth filled). Liberty of the Seas can carry several hundred more.

Voyager Class

Ships in class: Voyager of the Seas (1999), Explorer of the Seas (2000), Adventure of the Seas (2001), Navigator of the Seas (2002) and Mariner of the Seas (2003)

Size: 137,276 to 139,999 tons

The Voyager Class ships are similar to Freedom Class ships but shorter in length. In other words, the Freedom Class was a stretched version of the Voyager Class.

Like the Freedom Class vessels, the Voyager Class ships have many of Royal Caribbean's signature attractions, including rock climbing walls and ice skating rinks. In fact, the ships were the first at Royal Caribbean to have those attractions.

Voyager Class ships were also the first to feature a Royal Promenade with bars, cafes and shops in their interior. Each also has several specialty restaurants in addition to the main dining room and casual buffet; specialty restaurants include a version of Royal Caribbean's signature Chops Grille steakhouse and an Italian restaurant.

One of the main differences between the Voyager Class and the Freedom Class is that the Royal Promenades on Voyager Class ships are shorter. The top-deck areas of the Voyager Class ships are also more truncated than the Freedom Class vessels.

There are also fewer cabins on the Voyager Class ships, resulting in fewer passengers on board a typical sailing. Most of the ships carry around 3,100 passengers at double occupancy — about 800 fewer than the typical Freedom Class ship.

At around 139,000 tons, the ships are about 11% smaller than the Freedom Class ships.

There are also some variations in attractions among the five Voyager Class vessels. Navigator of the Seas has a relatively new waterslide zone that's home to The Blaster, the longest waterslide at sea . You won't find that on the other ships, though most of them have different waterslides. Only three of the five ships — Voyager of the Seas, Navigator of the Seas and Mariner of the Seas — have laser tag courses. Adventure of the Seas is the only vessel in the class with a kiddie splash zone.

Related: Why the overhaul of Navigator of the Seas was so great

Vision Class

Ships in class: Grandeur of the Seas (1996), Rhapsody of the Seas (1997), Enchantment of the Seas (1997) and Vision of the Seas (1998)

Size: 73,817 to 82,910 tons

Dating to the 1990s, the Vision Class ships are the smallest at Royal Caribbean, and they offer fewer onboard attractions and amenities than is typical for the line's vessels.

In general, they appeal to cruisers looking for a more intimate experience on a cruise ship as well as those who care more about the destinations they visit than the onboard attractions.

Along those lines, Royal Caribbean often sends some of its Vision Class ships to Europe in the summer to operate port call-intensive itineraries. The vessels also often sail longer trips in the Caribbean that include less-visited southerly islands. In both cases, the allure of the cruises has more to do with the ports the ships visit than the onboard experience.

Vision Class ships are also sometimes based in secondary ports such as Baltimore or San Juan, Puerto Rico, where the size of the local cruise market might not warrant a larger vessel.

Except for rock climbing walls, the Vision Class ships have none of the signature Royal Caribbean deck-top attractions such as surfing and skydiving simulators. For the most part, their top decks are lined with pools, whirlpools and sunning areas, as is typical for ships built in the 1990s. All have at least two pools and six whirlpools, except for Enchantment of the Seas, which has three pools and six whirlpools.

Related: Is cruising right for you? Start by asking yourself these 7 questions

In addition to main restaurants and casual buffets, each ship has at least one (and often several) additional specialty restaurants. The line's signature Chops Grille steakhouse and Italian eatery Giovanni's Table are two of them. Rhapsody of the Seas has the biggest selection of dining; Enchantment of the Seas has the smallest. Three of the four vessels — all but Enchantment of the Seas — have an Izumi Asian restaurant.

Each of the ships varies slightly in size. Grandeur of the Seas is the smallest of the four vessels, measuring around 74,000 tons. Enchantment of the Seas is the biggest, measuring around 83,000 tons (it was, notably, lengthened by 73 feet in 2005).

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Caribbean Princess ®

Savor carefree moments at sea with enticing cuisine, engaging entertainment and venues to match every mood.

Best Cruise Ship for First Timers

Cruisers' Choice Awards Cruise Critic UK

Exciting adventures await aboard Caribbean Princess following her multi-million-dollar array of luxurious enhancements. From staterooms that offer a more restful sleep, to endless tempting new dining options, the newly reimagined Reef Splash Zone for kids and families plus other upgrades, you’ll find Caribbean Princess herself has come back new.

Inaugural Cruise:  April 3, 2004

Christener:  Jill Whelan (“Vicki” from The Love Boat)

Guest Cabins:  1,556

Number of Decks:  19

Tonnage:  112,894

Length:  952 feet

Height:  193 feet

Your vacation – effortless. Personalized.

Make your vacation truly yours on a Princess MedallionClass® cruise that features next-level technology, now on all ships. Enjoy fast, reliable Wi-Fi, TrulyTouchless™ experiences, food and drinks delivered wherever you are and so much more.

Accommodations

From the moment you step aboard, we want you to feel welcomed and right at home. And with attentive service from a friendly staff that knows what hospitality means, you’ll find your Princess® ship truly is your home away from home.

Photos, floor plan diagrams, amenities, and furnishings represent typical arrangements and may vary by ship and stateroom.

• Reserve Collection
• Two Bedroom Family Suite
• Wheelchair-Accessible

• Virtual Tour
• Panoramic Tour

Truly Luxurious Accommodations at Sea

Surrounding you with deluxe accommodations, a spacious Suite with balcony* includes all the amenities of a Reserve Collection Mini-Suite^^, plus incredible premiums. Enjoy more living space, a sofa bed and separate seating areas, and wonderfully enhanced amenities that range from priority embarkation and disembarkation to a complimentary mini-bar setup in suite and so much more.

*Some suites have windows rather than balconies and are labeled as Window Suites.

Includes all the fine amenities of a spacious Reserve Collection Mini-Suite plus:

• Approx. 460 to 932 sq. ft., including balcony
• Luxury balcony furniture including 2 loungers, 4 chairs, table and ottoman
• 2 floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors
• Separate sitting area with sofa bed, chair and 2 tables
• One complimentary mini-bar setup and free daily bottled water
• Spacious closet
• Complimentary laundry and professional cleaning services
• Complimentary Specialty Dining Dinner on embarkation evening ^
• Priority specialty dining and shore excursion reservation
• Priority disembarkation at tender ports
• Comfortable queen or two twin beds ▲
• Refrigerator
• Two flat-panel televisions
• Private bathroom with tub and separate shower
• 100% cotton, high-thread count linens
• 24-hour room service †
• Desk with chair
• Hair dryer & fine bathroom amenities
• Digital security safe

▲ 3rd/4th berths available in select cabins. ^ Applicable on cruises six days or longer. Reservations can be made once onboard your ship. † Guests may call for room service delivery or order through OceanNow® in the Princess® Cruises app at any time of the day or night. Guests with the latest Princess Plus and Princess Premier packages enjoy OceanNow® and room service delivery with no charge. Otherwise, a one-time access fee of $14.99 USD per person per voyage will apply for OceanNow® delivery and a $5 USD room service fee will apply for each order placed by stateroom phone. Limitations, restrictions and conditions apply. ^^ Full suite guests enjoy a complimentary mini-bar setup and do not receive the 750ml bottle of wine.

Mini-Suite with Exclusive VIP Touches

A premium stateroom category featuring our best located Mini-Suite staterooms, as well as the great amenities found in all Mini-Suites — plus premier dining benefits and luxurious perks. Each night, enjoy Reserve Dining, an exclusive dining area featuring expedited seating with no wait, additional menu options, dedicated wait staff and tableside preparations. Other amenities include priority embarkation and disembarkation, a complimentary one-time wine set-up and so much more!^

^Includes one 750 ml bottle of wine on embarkation day^^. ^^For mini-suite guests only: A one-time set-up for a 750ml bottle of wine on embarkation day. Full-suite guests enjoy a complimentary mini-bar setup and do not receive additional bottles of wine.

Standard Amenities:

• Balcony with 2-4 chairs, table and ottoman
• Bathroom tub and massage shower head with upgraded amenities
• Floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors
• Separate sitting area with sofa bed & coffee table
• Approximately 323 sq. ft., including balcony
• Complimentary welcome glass of bubbly on embarkation day
• Luxury mattress topper and pillows

Upgraded Amenities & Services:

• The Princess Luxury Bed
• Priority embarkation and disembarkation at the beginning and end of your cruise
• One-time complimentary wine set-up ^
• Evening canapés, upon request
• Luxurious terry shawl bathrobes

Reserve Dining: *

• Exclusive area of the Main Dining Room
• Expedited seating with minimal to no wait
• Additional menu options
• Dedicated waitstaff
• Uniquely-styled décor (Premium table linens only)
• Table-side preparations

▲3rd/4th berths available in select cabins. ^Includes one 750 ml bottle of wine on embarkation day. †Guests may call for room service delivery or order through OceanNow® in the Princess® Cruises app at any time of the day or night. Guests with the latest Princess Plus and Princess Premier packages enjoy OceanNow® and room service delivery with no charge. Otherwise, a one-time access fee of $14.99 USD per person per voyage will apply for OceanNow® delivery and a $5 USD room service fee will apply for each order placed by stateroom phone. Limitations, restrictions and conditions apply. *Open every evening for dinner. Open for breakfast and lunch on sea days.

Add an Element of Luxury to Your Stay

Choose a luxurious Mini-Suite with balcony* which is substantially larger than a Balcony stateroom and receive a complimentary welcome glass of bubbly. Mini-Suites include a separate sitting area with sofa bed and two flat-panel televisions. For families or groups needing a little extra space, Mini-Suites offer an appealing and affordable option.

*Some suites have windows rather than balconies and are labeled as Mini-Suite No Balcony.

• Bathroom tub and massage shower head
• Complimentary welcome glass of bubbly on embarkation day
• Hair dryer & bathroom amenities

▲3rd/4th berths available in select cabins. †Guests may call for room service delivery or order through OceanNow® in the Princess® Cruises app at any time of the day or night. Guests with the latest Princess Plus and Princess Premier packages enjoy OceanNow® and room service delivery with no charge. Otherwise, a one-time access fee of $14.99 USD per person per voyage will apply for OceanNow® delivery and a $5 USD room service fee will apply for each order placed by stateroom phone. Limitations, restrictions and conditions apply.

Front Row Seat for Beautiful Scenery

This impressive stateroom offers the added indulgence of a balcony and gives you more space than a standard stateroom. Enjoy your own private outdoor space with a table, two chairs, and a relaxing view of the inspiring scenery surrounding you, whether a beautiful sunset over the ocean or a new city to explore. It’s also perfect to enjoy cocktails before dinner or a leisurely breakfast.

• Approx. 214 to 222 sq. ft., including balcony
• Balcony with 2 chairs and table
• Refrigerator.
• Flat-panel television
• Private bathroom with shower
• Hair dryer & bathroom amenities

▲3rd/4th berths available in select cabins. †Guests may call for room service delivery or order through OceanNow® in the Princess® Cruises app at any time of the day or night. Guests with the latest Princess Plus and Princess Premier packages enjoy OceanNow® and room service delivery with no charge. Otherwise, a one-time access fee of $14.99 USD per person per voyage will apply for OceanNow® delivery and a $5 USD room service fee will apply for each order placed by stateroom phone. Limitations, restrictions and conditions apply.

A Room with a View

Enjoy the added benefit of a view of the ocean from either a picture window or porthole that brings in natural light. This stateroom includes all the amenities of an interior room.

• Approx. 146 to 206 sq. ft.
• A spacious picture window for memorable views

▲3rd/4th berths available in select cabins. Note: Some categories have portholes versus picture windows. Some stateroom views are partially to fully obstructed. †Guests may call for room service delivery or order through OceanNow® in the Princess® Cruises app at any time of the day or night. Guests with the latest Princess Plus and Princess Premier packages enjoy OceanNow® and room service delivery with no charge. Otherwise, a one-time access fee of $14.99 USD per person per voyage will apply for OceanNow® delivery and a $5 USD room service fee will apply for each order placed by stateroom phone. Limitations, restrictions and conditions apply.

Our Most Affordable Option

These staterooms are the perfect place to recharge your batteries. Our most affordable option, featuring two twin beds or a queen-size bed. Other amenities include a refrigerator, hair dryer, TV, closet and bathroom with shower.

• Approx. 158 to 162 sq ft.

Perfect for Large Groups

These suites are for larger families or groups traveling together and include special suite-only benefits and two bathrooms — connected by a large living room, which leads to an expansive private balcony. Each suite sleeps up to eight people.

Note: Diamond Princess® and Sapphire Princess® can sleep up to six people.

• Mini-Suite stateroom connected to an inside cabin via a shared lounge
• 2 bathrooms, one with bath tub the other with a walk-in shower
• Complimentary welcome glass of champagne on embarkation day
• Flat-panel televisions

For Guests with Limited Mobility

Princess offers a selection of staterooms that provide full wheelchair-turning space. In addition, these staterooms include a roll-in shower equipped with grab bars and a fold-down bench seat, an easy access closet and accessible writing desk.

Note: ADA accessible stateroom shown is on board Caribbean Princess®. Amenities and stateroom arrangements vary by ship. Certain stateroom categories may vary in size and configuration by ship. Call Princess for more information or send inquiries to the Access Office via email at  [email protected] .

Included Dining

Indulge your appetite whenever you wish on board Princess®. Every hour, our chefs are busy baking, grilling and sautéing great-tasting fare from scratch. Princess offers unparalleled inclusive dining options throughout the ship with a wide range of culinary delights to suit any palate, from endless buffet choice to gourmet pizza, frosty treats, decadent desserts and much more. 1

Dining Reservations

Dine when, how and where you like

With this new offering, you can customize every aspect of mealtime. Make reservations for the main dining room or specialty restaurants at your preferred time each day. Fit in a formal dinner before a show, or order food and drinks to your poolside perch with OceanNow®. The choice really is up to you.

The Salty Dog Grill

While you're enjoying the fresh air on the top deck, treat yourself to one of our 100% handmade gourmet burgers, including our Princess Burger or Triple Smoked Burger.

 WORLD FRESH MARKETPLACE

Whenever you visit, you’ll find plenty of well-balanced options to choose from. Stop by for breakfast and visit our gourmet pancake station, or enjoy one of our unique hot cereal offerings. At lunch, look for handcrafted sandwiches, regionally inspired dishes and soups, as well as our carvery selections. For dinner, there’s everything from international favorites, comfort foods, customized stir-fry or pasta, plus a multitude of fresh fruit and salad choices.

Slice Pizzeria

Our top-deck pizzeria features a bold new look that sets the stage for tempting toppings and classic favorites. Try a slice of our award-winning signature Neapolitan-style pizza. Go simple and delicious with just cheese, or mix it up with a variety of toppings that change daily.

International Café

Sip and snack around the clock

Open 24-hours a day, the International Café located in the Piazza is the place for an ever-changing array of small bite meals, treats and gourmet beverages. Grab a freshly baked croissant to start your day, snack on pies and quiche or choose from a wide variety of salads and sandwiches at lunchtime, and indulge in decadent desserts in the evening. Coffee and tea fans will love the New Grounds Crafted Coffee menu featuring a variety of specialty espresso-based drinks made from a custom blend of coffee beans, as well as iced tea fusions.

Coffee & Cones

Complimentary ice cream cones await you at our top-deck creamery venue. Pick up a chocolate cone, a vanilla, or a combination. Or treat yourself to an ice cream sandwich, with a tempting choice of flavors. We’ve added specialty New Grounds Crafted Coffee, too. Energize with an Espresso, Cappuccino, Latte or Chai Tea. If you want to cool down, opt for a refreshing Frappe.

Specialty Dining

Dining on board a Princess® cruise ship is a joyful celebration and our specialty restaurants always deliver an extraordinary experience. They are among the best at sea – or anywhere. We serve dishes made with the freshest ingredients, and our menus reflect regional flavors from around the world. You'll find our specialty restaurants are the perfect place to celebrate any occasion. 1

• Sabatini's Italian Trattoria
• Crown Grill{SM}
• Vines Wine Bar
• Ultimate Balcony Dining
• Chef's Table Experience

Unique, handmade pasta courses, prepared fresh daily and treasured family recipes curated by our Italian chefs across the fleet inspire the menu at our acclaimed Italian specialty restaurant. 

Timeless Steakhouse Traditions

With a rich wood décor and a theater-style kitchen, it’s no wonder Crown Grill was named among the “Best Cruise Ship Steakhouses” by  USA TODAY . Featuring premium aged beef and fresh seafood items, this specialty restaurant offers an intimate dining experience in a classically elegant setting and an open kitchen where chefs prepare and cook to order top-quality cuts of beef, chops and seafood.

Additional charge applies.

Wines from Around the World

Voted one of the “Best Wine Bars at Sea,” by  USA TODAY  and located in a charming corner of the Atrium, Vines boasts an extensive collection of wines, fine Champagne and sparkling wines and regional offerings for purchase. The menu also includes wine flights and a selection of unique wines by the glass. Gourmet delicacies, such as antipasti and tapas, are complimentary with any wine purchase.

Charges apply. Menu items may vary by ship and are subject to change.

A Private Breakfast with a View

A luxurious breakfast experience at sea all served right on the privacy of your own balcony by our dedicated waitstaff. Treat yourself to this unparalleled indulgence and savor food, views, and memories that will never be forgotten.

Additional charges apply.

Exclusive Glimpse into the Princess Kitchen

An extraordinary treat for both gastronomes and gourmet novices. The Chef’s Table is a perfect culinary journey for any special occasion. Indulge in an extravagant multi-course dinner created and hosted by the ship’s executive chef. Perfect for celebrating an anniversary or milestone, or just making your cruise vacation even more amazing. To remember the occasion a photo with the executive chef and a handwritten copy of the special menu is included.

Limited capacity, reservations required. Additional charge applies.

On every Princess ship, you'll find so many ways to play, day or night. Explore The Shops of Princess, celebrate cultures at our Festivals of the World or learn a new talent — our onboard activities will keep you engaged every moment of your cruise vacation. 1

Discovery at SEA Programs

Discover even more with Discovery™

Our exclusive partnership with Discovery™ lets you come back captivated with Stargazing on our top deck; activities featuring Discovery™ hit shows such as  Shark Week  and  Finding Bigfoot ; plus our new Encounters with Discovery at SEA speaker series. Get more out of your travels with shore excursions recommended by two of the most trusted names in world travel—Discovery™ and Animal Planet™.

Vegas Style Casino

For novices, casual players, or high rollers

From gaming lessons to the latest slot machines to prize tournaments, our Casinos offer fun and excitement. If you enjoy blackjack, or “21,” and Texas Hold 'Em, our tables play by Vegas rules and if you relish the challenge of roulette, we offer the American version.

Take a stroll into the European-style piazza

Discover Old World charm as you stroll through our breathtaking Piazza—a hub of activity, inspired by the vibrant squares of Europe. Roving street performers, quaint boutiques, a spiral staircase and several glass-walled lifts provide panoramic views. Visit the International Café for gourmet coffees, or marvel at the wine selection at Vines, voted one of the “Best Wine Bars at Sea,” by USA Today.

The Shops of Princess

Tax and duty-free shopping

It’s no surprise The Shops are awarded “Best Onboard Shopping” from  Porthole  magazine year after year. On board, you’ll find a fabulous range of fine merchandise from brands like Swarovski, Chanel, Estée Lauder, Clinique, Lancôme, Calvin Klein, Citizen and Tissot, plus local crafts, keepsakes and souvenirs. And everyday tax- and duty-free savings can add up to as much as 30% off suggested U.S. retail prices.

Art Gallery & Auctions

Art lovers rejoice—enjoy exquisite art aboard

Great art, like the destinations we visit, can be awe-inspiring. Peruse our extensive art gallery, or attend an art history lecture highlighting some of the world’s greatest masters. And don’t miss our exciting Champagne Art Auctions, which give you the chance to view and bid on a wide range of fine art, including pieces by famous artists like Thomas Kinkade, Peter Max, and Michael Godard. There is no charge to attend these lively events.

Photo Gallery

Take home a unique photo keepsake

Our staff of digital photographers helps capture the highlights of your cruise including onboard events, ports and scenery for lasting memories of your trip. Our studio locations are set up in the Atrium each evening and all formal and casual portraits are on display in the gallery the following day. Please ask our staff about portrait packages, reprints and canvas reproductions of your favorite photos!

Freshwater Pools & Hot Tubs

Soak in a world of relaxation

Take a dip in our sparkling freshwater pools and leave your everyday world behind. Unwind on a padded lounger and soak up the sun, catch up on reading, listen to music or dream of your next adventure on board or ashore. And what better way to relax and revitalize after a day exploring the world than a long soak in one of our whirling hot tubs. And don’t forget, there is always a server nearby to bring you a refreshing cocktail or favorite beverage.

Sports Court

Get in the game with a variety of activities

Feel the court under your feet and the thrill of victory as you sink the ball in for two points. No matter your athletic ability, there’s nothing like shooting a few hoops out in the middle of the ocean as you watch the sun set and the stars come out. Our Sports Court is not only set up for basketball but also for volleyball. Pick up a game, compete against fellow guests for bragging rights, or start your own dream team.

Princess Links

Practice your putt and play like a champion

Imagine playing on the green while surrounded by a beautiful blue ocean. Whether you’re a dabbler or a devoted disciple of the game, our nine-hole miniature putting course will put your finer golfing skills to the test. After you play a round, step inside to try your hand at our golf simulator, which recreates some of the world’s greatest golf courses like St. Andrews and Pebble Beach so you can play and practice like a pro.

Venues vary by ship and are subject to change

MedallionNet® Wi-Fi

The best Wi-Fi at sea

MedallionNet Wi-Fi is fast, reliable and wherever you are. Stream your favorite shows, movies, music and sports. Stay connected to the internet anywhere on board so you can text, post photos, video chat and more.

Afternoon Tea

Celebration of tasty teas and divine desserts

Afternoon tea is a treasured tradition whether it’s a special occasion, an intimate moment for two, a mother-daughter tea party or just quiet time for reflection. Enjoy a wide selection of teas, or coffee if you prefer, served by attentive waiters in our dining room. The setting is elegant, with a delicious selection of tasty treats: freshly prepared finger sandwiches, cookies and cakes.

Entertainment

Original musicals, dazzling magic shows, feature films, top comedians and nightclubs that get your feet movin’ and groovin’. There’s something happening around every corner; luckily, you have a whole cruise of days and nights to experience it all. 1

Movies Under the Stars®

A reel treat day or night

Throughout the day and night, our exclusive open-air poolside amphitheater is the go-to destination for feature films, thrilling concerts and exciting sporting events such as live football games. Cozy up under a fleece blanket in the comfortable lounger and feast on complimentary fresh-popped popcorn in the evening or delicious cookies and milk during the day, and enjoy that exciting car chase or mystery thriller on the giant screen.

Original Musical Productions

Great venues large and small

Crafted by some of the world’s top directors and choreographers, our remarkable and dynamic Princess productions transport you to realms as exotic as the destinations we visit. Imaginative shows created in-house feature dazzling stage sets, Broadway classics, popular hits and original numbers performed by some of the largest and most talented casts at sea.

Music & Dancing

Dazzling entertainment every day and night

When it comes to music and dancing we’ve got everything that your musical palette may desire. Whether it’s tapping your toes to cover bands, singing along in the piano bar, relaxing to classical strings or dancing the night away in the nightclub, you’ll be satisfied!

Featured Guest Entertainers

At night, the stars shine bright on our stages

Grab a seat, order a cocktail and be prepared to be entertained by our lineup of world class entertainers. From magic to comedy, singers to instrumentalists, jugglers to balancing acts and much, much more, we search the globe for top talent to be featured on our ships. So get ready to be amazed, entertained, mesmerized or just laugh the night away!

Princess Theater

Broadway-style productions at sea

With dazzling stage sets, artists from around the globe, modern hits and timeless classics, the Princess Theater, our largest theater yet, showcases lavish, original productions with dynamic cast members in sumptuous surroundings. In this ultramodern theater, relax in a plush seat with unobstructed sight lines as the velvet curtain goes up, a state-of-the-art lighting system illuminates the stage, and it’s on with the show!

Skywalkers Nightclub

Reach for the sky and dance

Hot music and cool cocktails set to a DJ spinning popular club tunes is the ideal setting for a night of dancing. Gleaming, ultra modern and ultra cool, this hot spot invites a little stargazing while the colorful neon dance floor invites everyone to get up and boogie down. Boasting panoramic views from its vantage point 15 decks above the sea, it’s the perfect place for dancing and socializing.

Club Fusion

One of our most popular nightspots

When the sun goes down and the moon comes up, it’s time to get your feet movin’ and your heart pumpin’ at Club Fusion. A little eclectic and a whole lot of fun, the dance floor lights and booming sound system invite you to get up and show off your moves and grooves. Karaoke contests, live performances and theme-parties like “60s British Invasion” are just a few of the nightly events that will have you on your feet.

Good Spirits At Sea

Good spirits, good stories

Good Spirits takes viewers around the globe in search of extraordinary everyday people, sharing stories of spirits and collecting farm-fresh, local ingredients to inspire one-of-a-kind cocktail creations. Immerse yourself in the region as skilled bartenders lead you through an immersive cocktail experience.

Joyful Rejuvenation

Revitalize and refresh body, mind and soul with Princess®. From rejuvenating spa treatments and the tranquility of a top-deck retreat reserved just for adults to our state-of-the-art fitness centers, you’ll find all the elements to come back new.

• The Sanctuary
• Lotus Spa® Fitness Center

Experience the Ultimate Night of Sleep at Sea

With your overall wellness in mind, we’ve collaborated with a board-certified sleep expert to create the ultimate in blissful comfort. Our luxurious new beds feature a scientifically engineered mattress and bed springs, a plush two-inch pillow top, European-inspired duvets and 100% luxurious Jacquard-woven linens-to assure that at the end of your voyage, you come home feeling refreshed and renewed.

The Princess Luxury Bed is available across the fleet except for Regal Princess, where most staterooms have been updated. On Regal Princess all Full Suites and Reserve Collection staterooms have been updated and we are continuing to convert the few remaining beds.

Relax in a Tranquil Retreat Just for Adults

Take a break and indulge in a private getaway at The Sanctuary, our exclusive adults-only retreat offering a relaxing alternative to the myriad outdoor activities and entertainment available elsewhere on the ship. With signature beverages, light meals, and al fresco massages, Serenity Stewards attend to your every need, whether it’s to be on hand to provide chilled face towels or Evian water atomizers.

Go Ahead, Be Pampered – You Deserve It

Named "Best Spa on a Cruise Ship" by Spafinder Wellness 365™, the Lotus Spa® offers a variety of relaxing treatments, such as facials, aroma stone therapy massages, detoxifying ocean wraps and an aromatherapy thermal suite. Or get ready for a night on the town at the salon which features women’s styling color, men’s haircuts and shaves, manicure and pedicure choices and teeth whitening.

A Host of Ways to Get an Energizing Workout

The Lotus Spa Fitness Center offers fitness programs designed to help you maximize your wellness with Tour de Cycle, personal training and classes such as Pilates, Yoga, Body Sculpt Boot Camp, Results Based Training and TRX suspension training. The Lotus Spa Fitness Center also features state-of-the-art equipment so you can tone on your own.

Kids, Teens & Family

• The Reef Splash Zone
• Just For Kids 3-7
• Just For Kids 8-12
• Just For Teens 13-17

Splash into the Reef

The Reef Splash Zone is the ultimate spot for families of all ages! The newly reimagined space features an interactive water playground with a splash pool, water showers and a whale feature that “rains” from its fluke. Plus a new Game Zone with oversized backyard games, comfy lounge sectionals and a kid-friendly bar setting so families can enjoy cocktails and mocktails during a day of splashing, laughing and playing.

Explore the Treehouse

Even the littlest guests will delight in this whimsical, forest-themed world that inspires playtime and invites exploration. Kids, ages 3 to 7, can dance, enjoy pajama movie nights, create art projects like Animal Planet™ puppets and masks or compete in a Lego® boat-building contest.

Step into the Lodge

Inspired by the great outdoors, this cozy center keeps kids busy with games, dancing and kid-sized Olympic competitions. Their minds stay busy, too, with California Science Center programs like rocket building, or they can explore outer space with Stargazing and learning how to build a model roller coaster. Exciting events like talent shows, theme nights, and treasure hunts encourage new friendships and family togetherness.

Hang Out in the Beach House

This contemporary lounge is "the place" for teens — perfect for hanging out and socializing with late-night movie viewing, hip hop dance classes, video game tournaments and sports competitions like dodgeball and basketball. But that’s just the beginning. They’ll dazzle on the red carpet with our Rock the Boat teens-only party, complete with awards and "mocktails."

Quality Time Together

Princess makes it easy to sail together in comfort. There is a wide selection of staterooms accommodating up to four guests, and you’ll enjoy substantial savings on your third and fourth guests. There are also connecting stateroom options, as well as Two Bedroom Family Suites, with room for up to eight guests, which offer more living space, a balcony and two bathrooms, including a full bath tub.

1 Activities, dining and entertainment options vary by ship and are subject to change. Photos represent typical arrangements and may vary in detail or configuration.

Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

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Updated at 2:44 p.m. ET on April 6, 2024.

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MY FIRST GLIMPSE of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea, amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my optic nerve to try again.

The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.

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“Author embarks on their first cruise-ship voyage” has been a staple of American essay writing for almost three decades, beginning with David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which was first published in 1996 under the title “Shipping Out.” Since then, many admirable writers have widened and diversified the genre. Usually the essayist commissioned to take to the sea is in their first or second flush of youth and is ready to sharpen their wit against the hull of the offending vessel. I am 51, old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist, and mostly what I do in both life and prose is shrug while muttering to my imaginary dachshund, “This too shall pass.” But the Icon of the Seas will not countenance a shrug. The Icon of the Seas is the Linda Loman of cruise ships, exclaiming that attention must be paid. And here I am in late January with my one piece of luggage and useless gray winter jacket and passport, zipping through the Port of Miami en route to the gangway that will separate me from the bulk of North America for more than seven days, ready to pay it in full.

The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused. It turns out that the aft is the stern of the ship, or, for those of us who don’t know what a stern or an aft are, its ass. The nose of the ship, responsible for separating the waves before it, is also called a bow, and is marked for passengers as the FWD , or forward. The part of the contemporary sailing vessel where the malls are clustered is called the midship. I trust that you have enjoyed this nautical lesson.

I ascend via elevator to my suite on Deck 11. This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed. To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? Unthinkable.

Allow me a brief preamble here. The story you are reading was commissioned at a moment when most staterooms on the Icon were sold out. In fact, so enthralled by the prospect of this voyage were hard-core mariners that the ship’s entire inventory of guest rooms (the Icon can accommodate up to 7,600 passengers, but its inaugural journey was reduced to 5,000 or so for a less crowded experience) was almost immediately sold out. Hence, this publication was faced with the shocking prospect of paying nearly $19,000 to procure for this solitary passenger an entire suite—not including drinking expenses—all for the privilege of bringing you this article. But the suite in question doesn’t even have a view of the ocean! I sit down hard on my soft bed. Nineteen thousand dollars for this .

The viewless suite does have its pluses. In addition to all the Malin+Goetz products in my dual bathrooms, I am granted use of a dedicated Suite Deck lounge; access to Coastal Kitchen, a superior restaurant for Suites passengers; complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream (“the fastest Internet at Sea”) “for one device per person for the whole cruise duration”; a pair of bathrobes (one of which comes prestained with what looks like a large expectoration by the greenest lizard on Earth); and use of the Grove Suite Sun, an area on Decks 18 and 19 with food and deck chairs reserved exclusively for Suite passengers. I also get reserved seating for a performance of The Wizard of Oz , an ice-skating tribute to the periodic table, and similar provocations. The very color of my Suite Sky SeaPass Card, an oceanic blue as opposed to the cloying royal purple of the standard non-Suite passenger, will soon provoke envy and admiration. But as high as my status may be, there are those on board who have much higher status still, and I will soon learn to bow before them.

In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends. But I naively thought that my meatball T-shirt would be more suitable for conversation-starting. “Oh, and who is your ‘daddy’?” some might ask upon seeing it. “And how long have you been his ‘little meatball’?” And so on.

I put on my meatball T-shirt and head for one of the dining rooms to get a late lunch. In the elevator, I stick out my chest for all to read the funny legend upon it, but soon I realize that despite its burnished tricolor letters, no one takes note. More to the point, no one takes note of me. Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace , who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am. If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity.

Worse awaits me in the dining room. This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language. “I’m sorry, this is only for pendejos ,” he seems to be saying. I push back politely and he repeats himself. Pendejos ? Piranhas? There’s some kind of P-word to which I am not attuned. Meanwhile elderly passengers stream right past, powered by their limbs, walkers, and electric wheelchairs. “It is only pendejo dining today, sir.” “But I have a suite!” I say, already starting to catch on to the ship’s class system. He examines my card again. “But you are not a pendejo ,” he confirms. I am wearing a DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL T-shirt, I want to say to him. I am the essence of pendejo .

Eventually, I give up and head to the plebeian buffet on Deck 15, which has an aquatic-styled name I have now forgotten. Before gaining entry to this endless cornucopia of reheated food, one passes a washing station of many sinks and soap dispensers, and perhaps the most intriguing character on the entire ship. He is Mr. Washy Washy—or, according to his name tag, Nielbert of the Philippines—and he is dressed as a taco (on other occasions, I’ll see him dressed as a burger). Mr. Washy Washy performs an eponymous song in spirited, indeed flamboyant English: “Washy, washy, wash your hands, WASHY WASHY!” The dangers of norovirus and COVID on a cruise ship this size (a giant fellow ship was stricken with the former right after my voyage) makes Mr. Washy Washy an essential member of the crew. The problem lies with the food at the end of Washy’s rainbow. The buffet is groaning with what sounds like sophisticated dishes—marinated octopus, boiled egg with anchovy, chorizo, lobster claws—but every animal tastes tragically the same, as if there was only one creature available at the market, a “cruisipus” bred specifically for Royal Caribbean dining. The “vegetables” are no better. I pick up a tomato slice and look right through it. It tastes like cellophane. I sit alone, apart from the couples and parents with gaggles of children, as “We Are Family” echoes across the buffet space.

I may have failed to mention that all this time, the Icon of the Seas has not left port. As the fiery mango of the subtropical setting sun makes Miami’s condo skyline even more apocalyptic, the ship shoves off beneath a perfunctory display of fireworks. After the sun sets, in the far, dark distance, another circus-lit cruise ship ruptures the waves before us. We glance at it with pity, because it is by definition a smaller ship than our own. I am on Deck 15, outside the buffet and overlooking a bunch of pools (the Icon has seven of them), drinking a frilly drink that I got from one of the bars (the Icon has 15 of them), still too shy to speak to anyone, despite Sister Sledge’s assertion that all on the ship are somehow related.

Kim Brooks: On failing the family vacation

The ship’s passage away from Ron DeSantis’s Florida provides no frisson, no sense of developing “sea legs,” as the ship is too large to register the presence of waves unless a mighty wind adds significant chop. It is time for me to register the presence of the 5,000 passengers around me, even if they refuse to register mine. My fellow travelers have prepared for this trip with personally decorated T-shirts celebrating the importance of this voyage. The simplest ones say ICON INAUGURAL ’24 on the back and the family name on the front. Others attest to an over-the-top love of cruise ships: WARNING! MAY START TALKING ABOUT CRUISING . Still others are artisanally designed and celebrate lifetimes spent married while cruising (on ships, of course). A couple possibly in their 90s are wearing shirts whose backs feature a drawing of a cruise liner, two flamingos with ostensibly male and female characteristics, and the legend “ HUSBAND AND WIFE Cruising Partners FOR LIFE WE MAY NOT HAVE IT All Together BUT TOGETHER WE HAVE IT ALL .” (The words not in all caps have been written in cursive.) A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.

I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

I breakfast alone at the Coastal Kitchen. The coffee tastes fine and the eggs came out of a bird. The ship rolls slightly this morning; I can feel it in my thighs and my schlong, the parts of me that are most receptive to danger.

I had a dangerous conversation last night. After the sun set and we were at least 50 miles from shore (most modern cruise ships sail at about 23 miles an hour), I lay in bed softly hiccupping, my arms stretched out exactly like Jesus on the cross, the sound of the distant waves missing from my mall-facing suite, replaced by the hum of air-conditioning and children shouting in Spanish through the vents of my two bathrooms. I decided this passivity was unacceptable. As an immigrant, I feel duty-bound to complete the tasks I am paid for, which means reaching out and trying to understand my fellow cruisers. So I put on a normal James Perse T-shirt and headed for one of the bars on the Royal Promenade—the Schooner Bar, it was called, if memory serves correctly.

I sat at the bar for a martini and two Negronis. An old man with thick, hairy forearms drank next to me, very silent and Hemingwaylike, while a dreadlocked piano player tinkled out a series of excellent Elton John covers. To my right, a young white couple—he in floral shorts, she in a light, summery miniskirt with a fearsome diamond ring, neither of them in football regalia—chatted with an elderly couple. Do it , I commanded myself. Open your mouth. Speak! Speak without being spoken to. Initiate. A sentence fragment caught my ear from the young woman, “Cherry Hill.” This is a suburb of Philadelphia in New Jersey, and I had once been there for a reading at a synagogue. “Excuse me,” I said gently to her. “Did you just mention Cherry Hill? It’s a lovely place.”

As it turned out, the couple now lived in Fort Lauderdale (the number of Floridians on the cruise surprised me, given that Southern Florida is itself a kind of cruise ship, albeit one slowly sinking), but soon they were talking with me exclusively—the man potbellied, with a chin like a hard-boiled egg; the woman as svelte as if she were one of the many Ukrainian members of the crew—the elderly couple next to them forgotten. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”).

“I don’t want to talk politics,” the man said. “But they’re going to eighty-six Biden and put Michelle in.”

I considered the contradictions of his opening conversational gambit, but decided to play along. “People like Michelle,” I said, testing the waters. The husband sneered, but the wife charitably put forward that the former first lady was “more personable” than Joe Biden. “They’re gonna eighty-six Biden,” the husband repeated. “He can’t put a sentence together.”

After I mentioned that I was a writer—though I presented myself as a writer of teleplays instead of novels and articles such as this one—the husband told me his favorite writer was Ayn Rand. “Ayn Rand, she came here with nothing,” the husband said. “I work with a lot of Cubans, so …” I wondered if I should mention what I usually do to ingratiate myself with Republicans or libertarians: the fact that my finances improved after pass-through corporations were taxed differently under Donald Trump. Instead, I ordered another drink and the couple did the same, and I told him that Rand and I were born in the same city, St. Petersburg/Leningrad, and that my family also came here with nothing. Now the bonding and drinking began in earnest, and several more rounds appeared. Until it all fell apart.

Read: Gary Shteyngart on watching Russian television for five days straight

My new friend, whom I will refer to as Ayn, called out to a buddy of his across the bar, and suddenly a young couple, both covered in tattoos, appeared next to us. “He fucking punked me,” Ayn’s frat-boy-like friend called out as he put his arm around Ayn, while his sizable partner sizzled up to Mrs. Rand. Both of them had a look I have never seen on land—their eyes projecting absence and enmity in equal measure. In the ’90s, I drank with Russian soldiers fresh from Chechnya and wandered the streets of wartime Zagreb, but I have never seen such undisguised hostility toward both me and perhaps the universe at large. I was briefly introduced to this psychopathic pair, but neither of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and the tattooed woman would not even reveal her Christian name to me (she pretended to have the same first name as Mrs. Rand). To impress his tattooed friends, Ayn made fun of the fact that as a television writer, I’d worked on the series Succession (which, it would turn out, practically nobody on the ship had watched), instead of the far more palatable, in his eyes, zombie drama of last year. And then my new friends drifted away from me into an angry private conversation—“He punked me!”—as I ordered another drink for myself, scared of the dead-eyed arrivals whose gaze never registered in the dim wattage of the Schooner Bar, whose terrifying voices and hollow laughs grated like unoiled gears against the crooning of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

But today is a new day for me and my hangover. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods . There’s the AquaDome, where one can find a food hall and an acrobatic sound-and-light aquatic show. Central Park has a premium steak house, a sushi joint, and a used Rolex that can be bought for $8,000 on land here proudly offered at $17,000. There’s the aforementioned Royal Promenade, where I had drunk with the Rands, and where a pair of dueling pianos duel well into the night. There’s Surfside, a kids’ neighborhood full of sugary garbage, which looks out onto the frothy trail that the behemoth leaves behind itself. Thrill Island refers to the collection of tubes that clutter the ass of the ship and offer passengers six waterslides and a surfing simulation. There’s the Hideaway, an adult zone that plays music from a vomit-slathered, Brit-filled Alicante nightclub circa 1996 and proves a big favorite with groups of young Latin American customers. And, most hurtfully, there’s the Suite Neighborhood.

I say hurtfully because as a Suite passenger I should be here, though my particular suite is far from the others. Whereas I am stuck amid the riffraff of Deck 11, this section is on the highborn Decks 16 and 17, and in passing, I peek into the spacious, tall-ceilinged staterooms from the hallway, dazzled by the glint of the waves and sun. For $75,000, one multifloor suite even comes with its own slide between floors, so that a family may enjoy this particular terror in private. There is a quiet splendor to the Suite Neighborhood. I see fewer stickers and signs and drawings than in my own neighborhood—for example, MIKE AND DIANA PROUDLY SERVED U.S. MARINE CORPS RETIRED . No one here needs to announce their branch of service or rank; they are simply Suites, and this is where they belong. Once again, despite my hard work and perseverance, I have been disallowed from the true American elite. Once again, I am “Not our class, dear.” I am reminded of watching The Love Boat on my grandmother’s Zenith, which either was given to her or we found in the trash (I get our many malfunctioning Zeniths confused) and whose tube got so hot, I would put little chunks of government cheese on a thin tissue atop it to give our welfare treat a pleasant, Reagan-era gooeyness. I could not understand English well enough then to catch the nuances of that seafaring program, but I knew that there were differences in the status of the passengers, and that sometimes those differences made them sad. Still, this ship, this plenty—every few steps, there are complimentary nachos or milkshakes or gyros on offer—was the fatty fuel of my childhood dreams. If only I had remained a child.

I walk around the outdoor decks looking for company. There is a middle-aged African American couple who always seem to be asleep in each other’s arms, probably exhausted from the late capitalism they regularly encounter on land. There is far more diversity on this ship than I expected. Many couples are a testament to Loving v. Virginia , and there is a large group of folks whose T-shirts read MELANIN AT SEA / IT’S THE MELANIN FOR ME . I smile when I see them, but then some young kids from the group makes Mr. Washy Washy do a cruel, caricatured “Burger Dance” (today he is in his burger getup), and I think, Well, so much for intersectionality .

At the infinity pool on Deck 17, I spot some elderly women who could be ethnic and from my part of the world, and so I jump in. I am proved correct! Many of them seem to be originally from Queens (“Corona was still great when it was all Italian”), though they are now spread across the tristate area. We bond over the way “Ron-kon-koma” sounds when announced in Penn Station.

“Everyone is here for a different reason,” one of them tells me. She and her ex-husband last sailed together four years ago to prove to themselves that their marriage was truly over. Her 15-year-old son lost his virginity to “an Irish young lady” while their ship was moored in Ravenna, Italy. The gaggle of old-timers competes to tell me their favorite cruising stories and tips. “A guy proposed in Central Park a couple of years ago”—many Royal Caribbean ships apparently have this ridiculous communal area—“and she ran away screaming!” “If you’re diamond-class, you get four drinks for free.” “A different kind of passenger sails out of Bayonne.” (This, perhaps, is racially coded.) “Sometimes, if you tip the bartender $5, your next drink will be free.”

“Everyone’s here for a different reason,” the woman whose marriage ended on a cruise tells me again. “Some people are here for bad reasons—the drinkers and the gamblers. Some people are here for medical reasons.” I have seen more than a few oxygen tanks and at least one woman clearly undergoing very serious chemo. Some T-shirts celebrate good news about a cancer diagnosis. This might be someone’s last cruise or week on Earth. For these women, who have spent months, if not years, at sea, cruising is a ritual as well as a life cycle: first love, last love, marriage, divorce, death.

Read: The last place on Earth any tourist should go

I have talked with these women for so long, tonight I promise myself that after a sad solitary dinner I will not try to seek out company at the bars in the mall or the adult-themed Hideaway. I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. She is singing something violent about “Stuttering Stanley” (a character in a popular horror movie, as I discover with my complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream Internet at Sea) and he’s loudly shouting about “all the money I’ve lost,” presumably at the casino in the bowels of the ship.

So these bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel are angrily inhabiting my deck. As I mewl myself to sleep, I envision a limited series for HBO or some other streamer, a kind of low-rent White Lotus , where several aggressive couples conspire to throw a shy intellectual interloper overboard. I type the scenario into my phone. As I fall asleep, I think of what the woman who recently divorced her husband and whose son became a man through the good offices of the Irish Republic told me while I was hoisting myself out of the infinity pool. “I’m here because I’m an explorer. I’m here because I’m trying something new.” What if I allowed myself to believe in her fantasy?

“YOU REALLY STARTED AT THE TOP,” they tell me. I’m at the Coastal Kitchen for my eggs and corned-beef hash, and the maître d’ has slotted me in between two couples. Fueled by coffee or perhaps intrigued by my relative youth, they strike up a conversation with me. As always, people are shocked that this is my first cruise. They contrast the Icon favorably with all the preceding liners in the Royal Caribbean fleet, usually commenting on the efficiency of the elevators that hurl us from deck to deck (as in many large corporate buildings, the elevators ask you to choose a floor and then direct you to one of many lifts). The couple to my right, from Palo Alto—he refers to his “porn mustache” and calls his wife “my cougar” because she is two years older—tell me they are “Pandemic Pinnacles.”

This is the day that my eyes will be opened. Pinnacles , it is explained to me over translucent cantaloupe, have sailed with Royal Caribbean for 700 ungodly nights. Pandemic Pinnacles took advantage of the two-for-one accrual rate of Pinnacle points during the pandemic, when sailing on a cruise ship was even more ill-advised, to catapult themselves into Pinnacle status.

Because of the importance of the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest cruise liner, more than 200 Pinnacles are on this ship, a startling number, it seems. Mrs. Palo Alto takes out a golden badge that I have seen affixed over many a breast, which reads CROWN AND ANCHOR SOCIETY along with her name. This is the coveted badge of the Pinnacle. “You should hear all the whining in Guest Services,” her husband tells me. Apparently, the Pinnacles who are not also Suites like us are all trying to use their status to get into Coastal Kitchen, our elite restaurant. Even a Pinnacle needs to be a Suite to access this level of corned-beef hash.

“We’re just baby Pinnacles,” Mrs. Palo Alto tells me, describing a kind of internal class struggle among the Pinnacle elite for ever higher status.

And now I understand what the maître d’ was saying to me on the first day of my cruise. He wasn’t saying “ pendejo .” He was saying “Pinnacle.” The dining room was for Pinnacles only, all those older people rolling in like the tide on their motorized scooters.

And now I understand something else: This whole thing is a cult. And like most cults, it can’t help but mirror the endless American fight for status. Like Keith Raniere’s NXIVM, where different-colored sashes were given out to connote rank among Raniere’s branded acolytes, this is an endless competition among Pinnacles, Suites, Diamond-Plusers, and facing-the-mall, no-balcony purple SeaPass Card peasants, not to mention the many distinctions within each category. The more you cruise, the higher your status. No wonder a section of the Royal Promenade is devoted to getting passengers to book their next cruise during the one they should be enjoying now. No wonder desperate Royal Caribbean offers (“FINAL HOURS”) crowded my email account weeks before I set sail. No wonder the ship’s jewelry store, the Royal Bling, is selling a $100,000 golden chalice that will entitle its owner to drink free on Royal Caribbean cruises for life. (One passenger was already gaming out whether her 28-year-old son was young enough to “just about earn out” on the chalice or if that ship had sailed.) No wonder this ship was sold out months before departure , and we had to pay $19,000 for a horrid suite away from the Suite Neighborhood. No wonder the most mythical hero of Royal Caribbean lore is someone named Super Mario, who has cruised so often, he now has his own working desk on many ships. This whole experience is part cult, part nautical pyramid scheme.

From the June 2014 issue: Ship of wonks

“The toilets are amazing,” the Palo Altos are telling me. “One flush and you’re done.” “They don’t understand how energy-efficient these ships are,” the husband of the other couple is telling me. “They got the LNG”—liquefied natural gas, which is supposed to make the Icon a boon to the environment (a concept widely disputed and sometimes ridiculed by environmentalists).

But I’m thinking along a different line of attack as I spear my last pallid slice of melon. For my streaming limited series, a Pinnacle would have to get killed by either an outright peasant or a Suite without an ocean view. I tell my breakfast companions my idea.

“Oh, for sure a Pinnacle would have to be killed,” Mr. Palo Alto, the Pandemic Pinnacle, says, touching his porn mustache thoughtfully as his wife nods.

“THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S your time, buddy!” Hubert, my fun-loving Panamanian cabin attendant, shouts as I step out of my suite in a robe. “Take it easy, buddy!”

I have come up with a new dressing strategy. Instead of trying to impress with my choice of T-shirts, I have decided to start wearing a robe, as one does at a resort property on land, with a proper spa and hammam. The response among my fellow cruisers has been ecstatic. “Look at you in the robe!” Mr. Rand cries out as we pass each other by the Thrill Island aqua park. “You’re living the cruise life! You know, you really drank me under the table that night.” I laugh as we part ways, but my soul cries out, Please spend more time with me, Mr. and Mrs. Rand; I so need the company .

In my white robe, I am a stately presence, a refugee from a better limited series, a one-man crossover episode. (Only Suites are granted these robes to begin with.) Today, I will try many of the activities these ships have on offer to provide their clientele with a sense of never-ceasing motion. Because I am already at Thrill Island, I decide to climb the staircase to what looks like a mast on an old-fashioned ship (terrified, because I am afraid of heights) to try a ride called “Storm Chasers,” which is part of the “Category 6” water park, named in honor of one of the storms that may someday do away with the Port of Miami entirely. Storm Chasers consists of falling from the “mast” down a long, twisting neon tube filled with water, like being the camera inside your own colonoscopy, as you hold on to the handles of a mat, hoping not to die. The tube then flops you down headfirst into a trough of water, a Royal Caribbean baptism. It both knocks my breath out and makes me sad.

In keeping with the aquatic theme, I attend a show at the AquaDome. To the sound of “Live and Let Die,” a man in a harness gyrates to and fro in the sultry air. I saw something very similar in the back rooms of the famed Berghain club in early-aughts Berlin. Soon another harnessed man is gyrating next to the first. Ja , I think to myself, I know how this ends. Now will come the fisting , natürlich . But the show soon devolves into the usual Marvel-film-grade nonsense, with too much light and sound signifying nichts . If any fisting is happening, it is probably in the Suite Neighborhood, inside a cabin marked with an upside-down pineapple, which I understand means a couple are ready to swing, and I will see none of it.

I go to the ice show, which is a kind of homage—if that’s possible—to the periodic table, done with the style and pomp and masterful precision that would please the likes of Kim Jong Un, if only he could afford Royal Caribbean talent. At one point, the dancers skate to the theme song of Succession . “See that!” I want to say to my fellow Suites—at “cultural” events, we have a special section reserved for us away from the commoners—“ Succession ! It’s even better than the zombie show! Open your minds!”

Finally, I visit a comedy revue in an enormous and too brightly lit version of an “intimate,” per Royal Caribbean literature, “Manhattan comedy club.” Many of the jokes are about the cruising life. “I’ve lived on ships for 20 years,” one of the middle-aged comedians says. “I can only see so many Filipino homosexuals dressed as a taco.” He pauses while the audience laughs. “I am so fired tonight,” he says. He segues into a Trump impression and then Biden falling asleep at the microphone, which gets the most laughs. “Anyone here from Fort Leonard Wood?” another comedian asks. Half the crowd seems to cheer. As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.

As a coddled passenger with a suite, I feel like I am starting to understand what it means to have a rank and be constantly reminded of it. There are many espresso makers , I think as I look across the expanse of my officer-grade quarters before closing my eyes, but this one is mine .

A shocking sight greets me beyond the pools of Deck 17 as I saunter over to the Coastal Kitchen for my morning intake of slightly sour Americanos. A tiny city beneath a series of perfectly pressed green mountains. Land! We have docked for a brief respite in Basseterre, the capital of St. Kitts and Nevis. I wolf down my egg scramble to be one of the first passengers off the ship. Once past the gangway, I barely refrain from kissing the ground. I rush into the sights and sounds of this scruffy island city, sampling incredible conch curry and buckets of non-Starbucks coffee. How wonderful it is to be where God intended humans to be: on land. After all, I am neither a fish nor a mall rat. This is my natural environment. Basseterre may not be Havana, but there are signs of human ingenuity and desire everywhere you look. The Black Table Grill Has been Relocated to Soho Village, Market Street, Directly Behind of, Gary’s Fruits and Flower Shop. Signed. THE PORK MAN reads a sign stuck to a wall. Now, that is how you write a sign. A real sign, not the come-ons for overpriced Rolexes that blink across the screens of the Royal Promenade.

“Hey, tie your shoestring!” a pair of laughing ladies shout to me across the street.

“Thank you!” I shout back. Shoestring! “Thank you very much.”

A man in Independence Square Park comes by and asks if I want to play with his monkey. I haven’t heard that pickup line since the Penn Station of the 1980s. But then he pulls a real monkey out of a bag. The monkey is wearing a diaper and looks insane. Wonderful , I think, just wonderful! There is so much life here. I email my editor asking if I can remain on St. Kitts and allow the Icon to sail off into the horizon without me. I have even priced a flight home at less than $300, and I have enough material from the first four days on the cruise to write the entire story. “It would be funny …” my editor replies. “Now get on the boat.”

As I slink back to the ship after my brief jailbreak, the locals stand under umbrellas to gaze at and photograph the boat that towers over their small capital city. The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock.

“We hear about all the waterslides,” a sweet young server in one of the cafés told me. “We wish we could go on the ship, but we have to work.”

“I want to stay on your island,” I replied. “I love it here.”

But she didn’t understand how I could possibly mean that.

“WASHY, WASHY, so you don’t get stinky, stinky!” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy.

Meanwhile, I have found a new watering hole for myself, the Swim & Tonic, the biggest swim-up bar on any cruise ship in the world. Drinking next to full-size, nearly naked Americans takes away one’s own self-consciousness. The men have curvaceous mom bodies. The women are equally un-shy about their sprawling physiques.

Today I’ve befriended a bald man with many children who tells me that all of the little trinkets that Royal Caribbean has left us in our staterooms and suites are worth a fortune on eBay. “Eighty dollars for the water bottle, 60 for the lanyard,” the man says. “This is a cult.”

“Tell me about it,” I say. There is, however, a clientele for whom this cruise makes perfect sense. For a large middle-class family (he works in “supply chains”), seven days in a lower-tier cabin—which starts at $1,800 a person—allow the parents to drop off their children in Surfside, where I imagine many young Filipina crew members will take care of them, while the parents are free to get drunk at a swim-up bar and maybe even get intimate in their cabin. Cruise ships have become, for a certain kind of hardworking family, a form of subsidized child care.

There is another man I would like to befriend at the Swim & Tonic, a tall, bald fellow who is perpetually inebriated and who wears a necklace studded with little rubber duckies in sunglasses, which, I am told, is a sort of secret handshake for cruise aficionados. Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.

I usually tan very evenly, but something about the discombobulation of life at sea makes me forget the regular application of sunscreen. As I walk down the streets of Charlotte Amalie in my fluorescent Icon of the Seas cap, an old Rastafarian stares me down. “Redneck,” he hisses.

“No,” I want to tell him, as I bring a hand up to my red neck, “that’s not who I am at all. On my island, Mannahatta, as Whitman would have it, I am an interesting person living within an engaging artistic milieu. I do not wish to use the Caribbean as a dumping ground for the cruise-ship industry. I love the work of Derek Walcott. You don’t understand. I am not a redneck. And if I am, they did this to me.” They meaning Royal Caribbean? Its passengers? The Rands?

“They did this to me!”

Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do. Her face was as tight as a 19-year-old’s, she had so much surgery.” With those words, and beneath a cloudy sky, humidity shrouding our weathered faces and red necks, we set sail once again, hopefully in the direction of home.

THERE ARE BARELY 48 HOURS LEFT to the cruise, and the Icon of the Seas’ passengers are salty. They know how to work the elevators. They know the Washy Washy song by heart. They understand that the chicken gyro at “Feta Mediterranean,” in the AquaDome Market, is the least problematic form of chicken on the ship.

The passengers have shed their INAUGURAL CRUISE T-shirts and are now starting to evince political opinions. There are caps pledging to make America great again and T-shirts that celebrate words sometimes attributed to Patrick Henry: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.” With their preponderance of FAMILY FLAG FAITH FRIENDS FIREARMS T-shirts, the tables by the crepe station sometimes resemble the Capitol Rotunda on January 6. The Real Anthony Fauci , by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., appears to be a popular form of literature, especially among young men with very complicated versions of the American flag on their T-shirts. Other opinions blend the personal and the political. “Someone needs to kill Washy guy, right?” a well-dressed man in the elevator tells me, his gray eyes radiating nothing. “Just beat him to death. Am I right?” I overhear the male member of a young couple whisper, “There goes that freak” as I saunter by in my white spa robe, and I decide to retire it for the rest of the cruise.

I visit the Royal Bling to see up close the $100,000 golden chalice that entitles you to free drinks on Royal Caribbean forever. The pleasant Serbian saleslady explains that the chalice is actually gold-plated and covered in white zirconia instead of diamonds, as it would otherwise cost $1 million. “If you already have everything,” she explains, “this is one more thing you can get.”

I believe that anyone who works for Royal Caribbean should be entitled to immediate American citizenship. They already speak English better than most of the passengers and, per the Serbian lady’s sales pitch above, better understand what America is as well. Crew members like my Panamanian cabin attendant seem to work 24 hours a day. A waiter from New Delhi tells me that his contract is six months and three weeks long. After a cruise ends, he says, “in a few hours, we start again for the next cruise.” At the end of the half a year at sea, he is allowed a two-to-three-month stay at home with his family. As of 2019, the median income for crew members was somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000, according to a major business publication. Royal Caribbean would not share the current median salary for its crew members, but I am certain that it amounts to a fraction of the cost of a Royal Bling gold-plated, zirconia-studded chalice.

And because most of the Icon’s hyper-sanitized spaces are just a frittata away from being a Delta lounge, one forgets that there are actual sailors on this ship, charged with the herculean task of docking it in port. “Having driven 100,000-ton aircraft carriers throughout my career,” retired Admiral James G. Stavridis, the former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, writes to me, “I’m not sure I would even know where to begin with trying to control a sea monster like this one nearly three times the size.” (I first met Stavridis while touring Army bases in Germany more than a decade ago.)

Today, I decide to head to the hot tub near Swim & Tonic, where some of the ship’s drunkest reprobates seem to gather (the other tubs are filled with families and couples). The talk here, like everywhere else on the ship, concerns football, a sport about which I know nothing. It is apparent that four teams have recently competed in some kind of finals for the year, and that two of them will now face off in the championship. Often when people on the Icon speak, I will try to repeat the last thing they said with a laugh or a nod of disbelief. “Yes, 20-yard line! Ha!” “Oh my God, of course, scrimmage.”

Soon we are joined in the hot tub by the late-middle-age drunk guy with the duck necklace. He is wearing a bucket hat with the legend HAWKEYES , which, I soon gather, is yet another football team. “All right, who turned me in?” Duck Necklace says as he plops into the tub beside us. “I get a call in the morning,” he says. “It’s security. Can you come down to the dining room by 10 a.m.? You need to stay away from the members of this religious family.” Apparently, the gregarious Duck Necklace had photobombed the wrong people. There are several families who present as evangelical Christians or practicing Muslims on the ship. One man, evidently, was not happy that Duck Necklace had made contact with his relatives. “It’s because of religious stuff; he was offended. I put my arm around 20 people a day.”

Everyone laughs. “They asked me three times if I needed medication,” he says of the security people who apparently interrogated him in full view of others having breakfast.

Another hot-tub denizen suggests that he should have asked for fentanyl. After a few more drinks, Duck Necklace begins to muse about what it would be like to fall off the ship. “I’m 62 and I’m ready to go,” he says. “I just don’t want a shark to eat me. I’m a huge God guy. I’m a Bible guy. There’s some Mayan theory squaring science stuff with religion. There is so much more to life on Earth.” We all nod into our Red Stripes.

“I never get off the ship when we dock,” he says. He tells us he lost $6,000 in the casino the other day. Later, I look him up, and it appears that on land, he’s a financial adviser in a crisp gray suit, probably a pillar of his North Chicago community.

THE OCEAN IS TEEMING with fascinating life, but on the surface it has little to teach us. The waves come and go. The horizon remains ever far away.

I am constantly told by my fellow passengers that “everybody here has a story.” Yes, I want to reply, but everybody everywhere has a story. You, the reader of this essay, have a story, and yet you’re not inclined to jump on a cruise ship and, like Duck Necklace, tell your story to others at great pitch and volume. Maybe what they’re saying is that everybody on this ship wants to have a bigger, more coherent, more interesting story than the one they’ve been given. Maybe that’s why there’s so much signage on the doors around me attesting to marriages spent on the sea. Maybe that’s why the Royal Caribbean newsletter slipped under my door tells me that “this isn’t a vacation day spent—it’s bragging rights earned.” Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely.

Today is a big day for Icon passengers. Today the ship docks at Royal Caribbean’s own Bahamian island, the Perfect Day at CocoCay. (This appears to be the actual name of the island.) A comedian at the nightclub opined on what his perfect day at CocoCay would look like—receiving oral sex while learning that his ex-wife had been killed in a car crash (big laughter). But the reality of the island is far less humorous than that.

One of the ethnic tristate ladies in the infinity pool told me that she loved CocoCay because it had exactly the same things that could be found on the ship itself. This proves to be correct. It is like the Icon, but with sand. The same tired burgers, the same colorful tubes conveying children and water from Point A to B. The same swim-up bar at its Hideaway ($140 for admittance, no children allowed; Royal Caribbean must be printing money off its clientele). “There was almost a fight at The Wizard of Oz ,” I overhear an elderly woman tell her companion on a chaise lounge. Apparently one of the passengers began recording Royal Caribbean’s intellectual property and “three guys came after him.”

I walk down a pathway to the center of the island, where a sign reads DO NOT ENTER: YOU HAVE REACHED THE BOUNDARY OF ADVENTURE . I hear an animal scampering in the bushes. A Royal Caribbean worker in an enormous golf cart soon chases me down and takes me back to the Hideaway, where I run into Mrs. Rand in a bikini. She becomes livid telling me about an altercation she had the other day with a woman over a towel and a deck chair. We Suites have special towel privileges; we do not have to hand over our SeaPass Card to score a towel. But the Rands are not Suites. “People are so entitled here,” Mrs. Rand says. “It’s like the airport with all its classes.” “You see,” I want to say, “this is where your husband’s love of Ayn Rand runs into the cruelties and arbitrary indignities of unbridled capitalism.” Instead we make plans to meet for a final drink in the Schooner Bar tonight (the Rands will stand me up).

Back on the ship, I try to do laps, but the pool (the largest on any cruise ship, naturally) is fully trashed with the detritus of American life: candy wrappers, a slowly dissolving tortilla chip, napkins. I take an extra-long shower in my suite, then walk around the perimeter of the ship on a kind of exercise track, past all the alluring lifeboats in their yellow-and-white livery. Maybe there is a dystopian angle to the HBO series that I will surely end up pitching, one with shades of WALL-E or Snowpiercer . In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean–like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon features a new technology that converts passengers’ poop into enough energy to power the waterslides . In the series, this shitty technology would be greatly expanded.) A very young woman (18? 19?), smart and lonely, who has only known life on the ship, walks along the same track as I do now, contemplating jumping off into the surf left by its wake. I picture reusing Duck Necklace’s words in the opening shot of the pilot. The girl is walking around the track, her eyes on the horizon; maybe she’s highborn—a Suite—and we hear the voice-over: “I’m 19 and I’m ready to go. I just don’t want a shark to eat me.”

Before the cruise is finished, I talk to Mr. Washy Washy, or Nielbert of the Philippines. He is a sweet, gentle man, and I thank him for the earworm of a song he has given me and for keeping us safe from the dreaded norovirus. “This is very important to me, getting people to wash their hands,” he tells me in his burger getup. He has dreams, as an artist and a performer, but they are limited in scope. One day he wants to dress up as a piece of bacon for the morning shift.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC (the Icon of the Seas is five times as large as that doomed vessel) at least offered its passengers an exciting ending to their cruise, but when I wake up on the eighth day, all I see are the gray ghosts that populate Miami’s condo skyline. Throughout my voyage, my writer friends wrote in to commiserate with me. Sloane Crosley, who once covered a three-day spa mini-cruise for Vogue , tells me she felt “so very alone … I found it very untethering.” Gideon Lewis-Kraus writes in an Instagram comment: “When Gary is done I think it’s time this genre was taken out back and shot.” And he is right. To badly paraphrase Adorno: After this, no more cruise stories. It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship. Writers typically have difficult childhoods, and it is cruel to remind them of the inherent loneliness that drove them to writing in the first place. It is also unseemly to write about the kind of people who go on cruises. Our country does not provide the education and upbringing that allow its citizens an interior life. For the creative class to point fingers at the large, breasty gentlemen adrift in tortilla-chip-laden pools of water is to gather a sour harvest of low-hanging fruit.

A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further. What I found shocked me. My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. It had been there all along. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained.

This article appears in the May 2024 print edition with the headline “A Meatball at Sea.” When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.

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Father of florida cruise passenger, 20, who jumped off royal caribbean ship after argument believes his son is still alive: report.

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The father of the 20-year-old passenger who jumped off a Royal Caribbean cruise ship last Thursday in a reportedly drunken, impulsive leap believes his son is still alive nearly a week later.

Francel Parker, dad of missing Levion Parker, told the Daily Sun that he believes his child — whom he called a master diver — is still alive in the waters off the Bahamas.

“As soon as he went off the side, I prayed over him. I was confident the prayers I said over my son were heard. I stand on the word of God. I believe he is alive,” Francel Parker said to the local Florida paper Wednesday.

The US Coast Guard called off its search for the North Port man a day earlier.

The younger Parker allegedly jumped off the 18-story Liberty of the Seas around 4 a.m. in front of his helpless dad and younger brother after getting into an argument with his father, witnesses previously told The Post.

But Francel, who runs an AC business in Port Charlotte, told the local newspaper that he wasn’t arguing with Levion and that his son wasn’t trying to take his own life.

He said Levion is a skilled diver who works on a commercial fishing boat, and he is demanding to know how his underage son was given alcohol on the four-day cruise to Cuba and the Bahamas’ Grand Inagua Island.

“We don’t drink,” Francel said. “I’d like to know how my son was served so much alcohol.”

Another passenger onboard the cruise who witnessed Levion’s heart-stopping jump said Francel was “fussing at him for being drunk.”

Bryan Sims told The Post that he was hanging out with Levion and his 18-year-old brother, Seth, in the hotel tub of the ship in the early hours of April 4 before they went their separate ways.

After Sims had used the restroom and dried off, he bumped into the brothers and their father near the elevators.

“As we were walking from the hot tub back to the elevators, his dad and brother were walking towards us. His dad was fussing at him for being drunk, I guess,” Sims said of the moment before Parker jumped.  

“When we got to them, he said to his dad, ‘I’ll fix this right now.’ And he jumped out the window in front of us all,” Sims said, calling what he witnessed “surreal.”

Another cruise guest described the frantic chaos that followed.

“There was a lot of yelling, and the crew was alerted immediately,” Deborah Morrison told The Post.

“His family was horrified. Just beside themselves. I can’t even begin to imagine what they’re going through.”

Francel told the Daily Sun that he threw six life rings off the ship in hopes of saving his son before the massive vessel was able to come to a stop about 20 minutes later.

Royal Caribbean said it “immediately” launched search boats to look for the 20-year-old and alerted the Coast Guard, which later took over the search.

At least 406 people on major cruise lines and ferries have gone overboard between 2000 and 2024, according to data collected by retired professor and cruise industry researcher Ross Klein.

Death rates among overboard passengers and crew members vary significantly among cruise lines, but even the safest cruise companies were only able to rescue about 40% of people who fall or jump off the ship, Klein told the Washington Post in July.

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Royal Caribbean's family-friendly private island is about to get more crowded with Gen Xers

• Celebrity Cruises will sail to Royal Caribbean's Perfect Day at CocoCay for the first time.
• The cruise lines target different demographics, but the business case is solid.
• The private island is scheduled on 47 of Celebrity's itineraries this year.

Royal Caribbean's family-friendly private island is about to get a bit more crowded — with Gen Xers.

On April 21, Gen X-beloved Celebrity Cruises will voyage to Royal Caribbean International's Perfect Day at CocoCay for the first time, marking the start of a Celebrity-CocoCay bonanza: The premium cruise line plans to visit the family-friendly getaway 47 more times before the end of the year.

According to Celebrity, these itineraries will both double its year-round Caribbean offerings and launch its first weekend cruises . And travelers are hyped: A handful of these sailings are halfway or close to selling out.

Fares start at about $277 per person for a three-day roundtrip cruise from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, in which the Caribbean island is the only destination on the itinerary.

Travelers familiar with Celebrity and CocoCay might be scratching their heads

Royal Caribbean and Celebrity share the same parent company, Royal Caribbean Group .

For the most part, that's where their similarities end.

Royal Caribbean's private island is a tropical dream for cruising families dotted with sprawling beaches, clubs, a zipline, and a waterpark. The private destination is colorful, loud, kid-friendly, and generally the antithesis of what travelers might find on Celebrity's ships.

Celebrity's stylish vessels do offer children and teen programming. But if you want the exciting water slides, fun rides, and rock climbing walls of the popular mass-market ships, you're better off looking elsewhere.

Compared to Royal Caribbean's ships, Celebrity is best if you want to be on a premium, trendy, and more subdued cruise.

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If it's not obvious, the two brands are vying for different guests. Royal Caribbean goes after multi-generational families, while Celebrity's target demographic is Gen Xers, Lisa Lutoff-Perlo, the then-CEO of Celebrity Cruises, told Business Insider in 2021.

Celebrity sails to 300 ports on all seven continents — why this sudden push for the private Caribbean island?

In short, cruisers love Celebrity's upcoming Caribbean destination .

Last year, Michael Bayley, president and CEO of Royal Caribbean International, told analysts that CocoCay had seen robust demand, including from repeat travelers.

About two-thirds of Royal Caribbean's Caribbean-bound guests will stop at CocoCay this year. And most of them aren't complaining: "The vast majority of people love the islands," Patrick Scholes, a lodging and leisure research analyst at Truist Securities, told Business Insider in March.

But for the two brands' parent company, there are more benefits to private island cruising besides guest satisfaction.

CocoCay is one night's sailing from Florida's major cruise ports, reducing the visiting ships' fuel consumption and costs.

More importantly, these private destinations keep more profits in-house.

A day pass to CocoCay's waterpark can exceed $100 per person. Entry to the recently opened Hideaway Beach costs up to $89 per person. Nearby, an afternoon at the more luxurious Coco Beach Club could be shy of triple that cost.

Even the complimentary parts of the island have splurge-enticing amenities like rentable cabanas and snorkeling gear. And because there's no need to rely on other excursion operators, Celebrity's parent company gets to pocket more profits.

Most of Celebrity's 2024 cruises to CocoCay will be on two of its largest ships: the 3,849-guest Celebrity Beyond and 3,480-guest Celebrity Reflection. That's plenty of guests ready to spend big on the popular private island.

But that doesn't mean Celebrity cruisers will be fighting kids for beach chairs

It is possible to escape the hoards of families at Perfect Day at CocoCay. For example, the new Hideaway Beach is rowdy, boozy, and thankfully adult-only.

While not kid-free, on the other side of the island, the Oasis Lagoon pool has become the de facto hot spot for afternoon ragers "packed with intoxicated people having a really good time" on one end, and children on the other end, Bayley told reporters in late January.

If nothing else, at least there won't be any kids drinking at the island's more than 10 bars.

Watch: Inside the world's biggest cruise ship that just set sail

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Authorities Identify Son Who Jumped Off Cruise Ship in Front of Family

Witnesses said he appeared drunk and was fighting with his dad, according to reports.

Josh Fiallo

Breaking News Reporter

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A man who jumped to his death from a Royal Caribbean cruise last week was identified by media outlets Wednesday as Levion Parker, a 20-year-old Floridian who regularly posted about hunting and fishing.

Parker’s body was never found after his fatal leap on Thursday, which sparked a massive U.S. Coast Guard search between Cuba and the Bahamas’ Inagua islands in the eastern Caribbean .

The Broward County Sheriff’s Office identified Parker on Wednesday, the New York Post and Daily Mail reported , just a day after the Coast Guard officially called off their search for the previously unidentified man. Florida deputies did not immediately respond to a request for confirmation from The Daily Beast.

Loved ones reportedly witnessed Parker jump off the 11th deck of the Liberty of the Seas cruise liner in what appeared to be an “impulsive leap,” the Post reported last week, citing a witness.

Bryan Sims, a passenger who claimed he saw the incident unfold, told the paper he’d been hanging out with Parker and his brother in the hot tub.

Sims told the Post that Parker “appeared drunk,” and he spotted him arguing with his dad over the supposed drinking. Moments later, he said Parker leaped into the sea without a trace from an area that housed whirlpools and hot tubs.

“When we got to them, he said to his dad, ‘I’ll fix this right now.’ And he jumped out the window in front of us all,” Sims said.

Deborah Morrison, another passenger, told the Daily Mail that crew were “alerted immediately” by the “yelling” that erupted on deck after Parker’s leap.

In a statement, Royal Caribbean said it immediately halted the ship and dispatched boats to search for Parker, but had no luck. The ship continued on its voyage back to Fort Lauderdale shortly after, leaving the search up to the Coast Guard.

Most of the 4,000 passengers aboard reportedly weren’t alerted to the incident until later that morning, when the ship’s captain made an announcement while many ate breakfast.

Social media accounts for Parker showed that he was an outdoorsman who’d won a fishing tournament just weeks prior to his fatal leap. Posts showed he played football for North Port High School, in southwest Florida, and graduated from there in 2022, reported the Daily Mail .

The paper added that the man’s father, Francel Parker, said the family is consulting lawyers and is planning on putting out a statement.

Got a tip? Send it to The Daily Beast  here .

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Dad of Royal Caribbean cruise passenger, 20, who jumped off ship 'confident' his son's alive

T he father of a 20-year-old man who jumped off the side of a cruise ship seven days ago believes his son is still alive as he claims he's "confident" his prayers for his safety have been heard.

Levion Parker jumped off a Royal Caribbean cruise ship last Thursday (April 4) in what is believed to be a drunken leap and he has not been seen since despite rescue attempts. His father, who has described his son as "a master diver" is insistent that he is still alive despite the US Coast Guard standing down their search.

The young man reportedly leaped from the 18-storey cruise ship at around 4am in front of his father and younger brother. A witness claimed he'd been arguing with his father moments before but Levion's dad has disputed this.

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His father, Francel Parker, told The Daily Sun that he believes Levion is still alive in the waters off the Bahamas. He said: "As soon as he went off the side, I prayed over him. I was confident the prayers I said over my son were heard. I stand on the word of God. I believe he is alive."

The US Coast Guard stopped their search for the 20-year-old yesterday (April 10) and he has not been seen since his jump last week. Francel, who runs an AC business in Port Charlotte, has told journalists that he wasn’t arguing with Levion and that his son wasn’t trying to take his own life at the time of the incident.

He is also questioning how his son was served alcohol on the four-day cruise to Cuba and the Bahamas’ Grand Inagua Island. He said: "We don’t drink, I’d like to know how my son was served so much alcohol."

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At the time, other passengers allege that Francel was "fussing" over his son for having drunk too much. Passenger Bryan Sims told The Post that he was hanging out with Levion and his 18-year-old brother Seth prior to the incident, before later seeing the two brothers and their father arguing.

Bryan said: "As we were walking from the hot tub back to the elevators, his dad and brother were walking towards us. His dad was fussing at him for being drunk, I guess. When we got to them, he said to his dad, ‘I’ll fix this right now.’ And he jumped out the window in front of us all."

Another cruise guest, Deborah Morrison, recalled: "There was a lot of yelling, and the crew was alerted immediately. His family was horrified. Just beside themselves. I can’t even begin to imagine what they’re going through."

After Levion's jump, a frantic Francel threw six life rings into the ocean below in hopes of saving the 20-year-old until the cruise ship could come to a stop 20 minutes later and begin a rescue mission. Royal Caribbean said it “immediately” launched search boats and alerted the Coast Guard.

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6 Best Cruises Out Of Port Canaveral

By Zachary Laks | Published on April 9, 2024

It's time to start planning your next big vacation. Whether you're looking for a weekend getaway, a family-friendly vacation or an extended voyage, you'll find cruises out of Port Canaveral, Florida that tick all your boxes.

When considering one of the cruises out of Port Canaveral, plan extra time before and after your sailing to soak up all the fun that the area has to offer. There's so much to do in Orlando that you could stay for several days and never get bored — music to your ears if you're traveling with children. One of the best things about Orlando cruises is that you have your choice of theme parks to round out your vacation. They're expansive and immersive escapes into playful worlds, not unlike a great cruise. I love tacking on an extra day or two at an Orlando theme park, usually before my cruise departs. I always appreciate the days of racking up thousands of steps traversing a theme park before boarding a cruise, where I know I'll be able to lounge on a deck or relax in a hot tub.

Not far from Port Canaveral, the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex is a great place to spend a day admiring the vast scope of NASA. The center offers one-of-a-kind immersion into space exploration, including the chance to strap into a rocket launch simulator for an adrenaline-pumping thrill.

For those seeking a more peaceful retreat before boarding their cruises out of Orlando, Port Canaveral is near the white sands of Cocoa Beach. Spend the day enjoying calm, low waves — great for year-round swimming, learning to surf and kayaking alongside manatees and dolphins. Or take a seat on an airboat ride through the wetlands for encounters with alligators and, depending on the season, bald eagles, herons and osprey.

Ready to book a cruise to Port Canaveral? Here are the six best cruises from Port Canaveral.

1. Best For A Long Weekend

Set to launch in the summer of 2024, Utopia of the Seas ℠ will be the sixth Oasis Class ship, Royal Caribbean's class of ships packed with adventure and entertainment. The new ship will focus on three- and four-night cruises from its year-round home port in Port Canaveral, with onboard upgrades that include reimagined pool decks, a Giovanni's℠ Italian Kitchen that spans two decks (try the osso buco!) and the new Pesky Parrot tiki bar, serving fruity cocktails on the Royal Promenade. This itinerary  to the Bahamas on Utopia of the Seas ℠ is the best for a long weekend exploring the highlights of The Bahamas, with a day in Nassau followed by a day at Perfect Day at CocoCay , Royal Caribbean's private island destination.

2. Best For Beach Lovers

This exquisite itinerary to the Southern Caribbean on Adventure of the Seas ® routes you to the farthest corner of the Caribbean for some of its best beaches. Sailing on the Adventure of the Seas ® for eight nights from Port Canaveral, you'll stop in ports such as Oranjestad, Aruba; Willemstad, Curaçao; and Kralendijk, Bonaire. Each port will welcome you with easily accessible, powdery sand beaches primed for world-class swimming, snorkeling and diving. You'll have your pick of 86 dive sites at Bonaire National Marine Park with more than 350 recorded fish species known to frequent the waters.

3. Best For A European Adventure

Transatlantic sailings make for such a special vacation, and this 13-night Transatlantic Azores itinerary on Adventure of the Seas ® packs four remarkable ports into the crossing. You'll cruise the Atlantic for the first nine days, living it up on a ship that is packed with ways to play and relax. You'll arrive in idyllic Tenerife in the Canary Islands on the tenth day. Immerse yourself in the local Spanish culture by spending part of your day exploring the Museum of Nature and Archaeology or the Basilica de Candelaria shrine. The cruise continues to Lanzarote, Canary Islands, where picture-perfect colonial mansions line cobblestone streets, then on to the adventurous mountain island of Madeira, Portugal before completing your journey in the charming streets of Lisbon, Portugal.

4. Best For Private Island Getaways

This unique Port Canaveral cruise itinerary  to Bermuda and Perfect Day at CocoCay on Adventure of the Seas ® visits both of Royal Caribbean's private destinations, where paradise is just steps away from the ship. On an eight-night journey, this ship will first cruise to Labadee, the cruise line's private peninsula adventure park and beach. Soak up this private spot by relaxing on the beach, enjoy the destination's signature cocktail specialty, the Labadoozie (a fruity rum cocktail) or opt for a zip line ride that will send you soaring over the ocean. The next private island destination is Perfect Day at CocoCay, Royal Caribbean's oasis in The Bahamas. Here you'll port within short distance of pristine beaches, a thrilling water park and countless ways to unwind beneath the palm trees. There's also a stop in Bermuda, home to pink-sand beaches and rum swizzles.

5. Best For Foodies

Foodies will delight in fresh, authentic Caribbean dishes on this itinerary to the Western Caribbean and Perfect Day at CocoCay on Wonder of the Seas ® . In Cozumel, Mexico you'll find lunch specialties featuring locally caught seafood, often grouper and red snapper fried on a plate with rice and a vibrant salad. In Roatán, Honduras, ceviche is the local favorite, along with fried plantains and baleadas — tacos made with soft flour tortillas. The ship's final port is Puerto Costa Maya, Mexico, a charming fishing village where the salbutes  (fried corn tortillas topped with shredded chicken) make a great appetizer to the catch of the day, served hot off the grill.

6. Best For Variety

This seven-night Eastern Caribbean itinerary  on Wonder of the Seas ® is a top choice if you want to change things up and go on a unique adventure in each port. Your first destination is Philipsburg, St. Maarten, where you can tour the island on an ATV, sample rum from a local distillery or end the day with a sunset horseback ride on the beach. When the ship arrives in the U.S. Virgin Islands at Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas, head straight to Magens Bay, often short-listed as one of the world's most beautiful beaches. Or dive into a snorkeling tour to get face time with some sea turtles and coral reefs. On your final stop, Royal Caribbean's Perfect Day at CocoCay, everyone in your group can enjoy a seemingly endless array of activities. If the beach is calling, grab a spot on one of the many cushy beach loungers close to a bar serving up island cocktails that go great with the ocean view. For the adventurous ones, Daredevil's Peak® waterslide is North America's tallest and promises an adrenaline rush.

Encompassing ports of paradise and incredible culture, Orlando cruises are the ideal vacation getaway. Start planning your island escape from Port Canaveral now .

Cruise From Orlando

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PERFECT DAY AT COCOCAY

FAMILY GETAWAY

WESTERN CARIBBEAN

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