sea cruise from miami

The best cruises from Miami for every type of traveler

What are the best cruises from Miami? It's a tough question to answer, in part because there are so many choices.

Miami has long been the cruise capital of the world, and even though it recently has been challenged by nearby Port Canaveral for the title of world's busiest cruise port, it still offers one of the most diverse mixes of options when it comes to ships and itineraries.

Many of the world's biggest cruise lines operate sailings from Miami, in some cases with multiple ships. On any given day, there can be as many as seven different cruise vessels sailing from the port.

For more cruise guides, news and tips, sign up for TPG's cruise newsletter .

The large number of options means that there's a little something for everyone when it comes to Miami cruises. That's great because the best Miami cruise for you may not be the same as the best cruise out of Miami for someone else, depending on your travel style.

Here we list our top picks for the best cruises from Miami for five different types of travelers.

Best cruises for families: Icon of the Seas

Quite a few family-friendly ships call Miami home, including vessels operated by such family cruise leaders as Royal Caribbean , Norwegian Cruise Line, Carnival Cruise Line and Disney Cruise Line. However, when it comes to the best cruises from Miami for families, there's never been anything quite like the voyages in the works for Royal Caribbean's soon-to-arrive-in-Miami Icon of the Seas .

Scheduled to debut in Miami in January 2024 and already available to book, the 5,610-passenger Icon of the Seas will be the biggest cruise ship in the world — more than 6% bigger than the biggest cruise vessel currently at sea.

That means it has more space than any other ship at sea for children's clubs, waterslides, watery play areas and other family fun zones.

But it's not just Icon of the Seas' larger size that will make its sailings the best cruises out of Miami for families. The cruise line has designed the vessel — the first of a new class of ships — specifically to cater to families in a bigger way .

Icon of the Seas will offer more cabins with extra bunks to accommodate families with multiple children, including new room designs. Some family suites will even feature separate rooms for the little ones.

Related: The 5 best cruise lines for families

Many of these family-friendly accommodations will be near a new-for-the-line outdoor "neighborhood" called Surfside, which is dedicated to families with young children. As announced late last year, Surfside will feature splash areas for babies and kids, pools and lounge spaces for parents, family-friendly eateries and shops, and a bar with "mommy and me" matching mocktails for kids and cocktails for grownups.

The water park that Royal Caribbean plans for Icon of the Seas will be the largest ever built on a cruise ship. It will feature a record six top-deck waterslides and an unusual-for-Royal Caribbean ropes course. Teens and tweens have never had it so good.

Come January, Icon of the Seas will take the place of Royal Caribbean's family-friendly Harmony of the Seas in Miami. If you're looking for the best cruise out of Miami for families between now and January 2024, Harmony of the Seas is our pick. It's almost as big as Icon of the Seas and similarly loaded with family-friendly attractions.

That said, if you're a diehard Disney fan, be advised that the best family cruise from Miami for you is probably not a voyage on Icon of the Seas or Harmony of the Seas but one of the seasonal sailings that Disney Cruise Line offers out of Miami on the 1,754-passenger Disney Magic.

Unlike the Royal Caribbean ships, it's not a new vessel with all the latest bells and whistles. In fact, it's the oldest ship in the Disney fleet, dating to the 1990s. But it's, well ... a Disney ship. And if you're a Disney lover, that's probably all you need to know.

Best cruises for adults: Scarlet Lady

As of October 2021, the uncontested best cruises from Miami for adults are the four- and five-night sailings to the Bahamas and Caribbean offered on Virgin Voyages' Scarlet Lady. That's the month the new cruise line launched, promising to shake things up in the cruise world with a lively, adult-focused onboard experience unlike anything else in cruising.

Specifically designed for adults only — no children under the age of 18 are allowed on board — the 2,770-passenger Scarlet Lady is all about grownup fun. We're talking everything from rollicking dance parties to a drag show.

Related: I've been on more than 150 cruise ships; here's why I loved Scarlet Lady

Notably, Scarlet Lady offers many stylish, adult-oriented nightspots and bars, creating a hopping scene late into the night. Passengers are able to shake their phones to have Champagne delivered to wherever they happen to be standing, get inked at an onboard tattoo parlor and belt out tunes in a colorful karaoke lounge .

Unlike some other cruise lines, Virgin Voyages also eschews buffets, dress codes and big Broadway-style theater shows. In place of the latter, the line offers such entertainment as dance parties, DJ sets and unconventional performances in a multi-purpose room.

While initially dubbed the "cruise line for millennials" in media coverage, Virgin Voyages was designed to appeal to not just young adults but older adults who are "young at heart," executives have said. In its first two year of operations, it's been drawing passengers in a wide range of ages .

Best cruises for budget travelers: MSC Seascape

For years, the low-cost ships of Carnival Cruise Line were the go-to vessels for the best cruises out of Miami for budget travelers. But Carnival's Miami-based ships have had new competition for the title in recent years from the even-lower-cost vessels of MSC Cruises — a fast-growing line that has been taking the Miami market by storm.

Our take is that the MSC Cruises ships sailing from Miami — particularly the just-out-of-the-shipyard-new MSC Seascape — are now the vessels to book if you're looking for the best value in cruises from Miami.

Based in Miami year-round, the 4,550-passenger MSC Seascape operates alternating seven-night voyages to the Eastern Caribbean and Western Caribbean that sometimes sell for as little as $399 per person — or just $57 per day.

That's a pretty amazing fare when you consider that it covers not just your room but meals on the ship, too.

Related: TPG's guide to cruising from Miami

The ship's Eastern Caribbean sailings typically are priced a tad lower than its Western Caribbean sailings (when we were pricing them for this guide, they started about $30 per person lower). The Eastern Caribbean trips call at Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic; San Juan, Puerto Rico; Nassau, Bahamas; and Ocean Cay , MSC Cruises' private island in the Bahamas. The Western Caribbean voyages stop at Ocho Rios, Jamaica; George Town, Cayman Islands; Cozumel, Mexico; and Ocean Cay.

What's striking about these low-priced sailings on MSC Seascape is that the ship is one of the newest and snazziest operating out of the Port of Miami, having just been unveiled in November 2022. Often, the lowest-cost cruises in any cruise port are on the oldest ships sailing from the port — vessels that don't have the latest and greatest when it comes to onboard attractions and amenities.

Eighteen decks high and more than 1,100 feet long, MSC Seascape is loaded with family-friendly attractions, including multiple waterslides, a giant kiddie splash zone with a pirate ship theme and a robotic thrill ride. The latter, called Robotron , will flip you upside down and around as you dangle over the side of the ship.

Related: Our first impressions of MSC Seascape

MSC Seascape also offers 11 dining venues, 20 bars and lounges, a bustling casino, a sprawling spa and a showroom for big production shows.

Plus, there's a giant "ship-within-a-ship" luxury zone loaded with suites and a private lounge and restaurant — one only accessible to well-heeled passengers who pay up for access. With fares for its rooms nearly 10 times higher than the starting rates for the ship's basic cabins, The Yacht Club, as it's called, is not a budget option. However, if you've got money to burn, you can check in here and feel like you're living the high life.

In short, MSC Seascape is a big, bustling megaresort at sea of the sort operated by Royal Caribbean, Norwegian Cruise Line and Carnival. If it's big ships with lots of activities you love, it's a good choice if your budget is tight.

MSC Cruises has two other vessels based seasonally in Miami: MSC Magnifica and MSC Divina. MSC Magnifica mostly operates short three- and four-night sailings to the Bahamas. MSC Divina operates a wide mix of three- to 18-night sailings to the Bahamas and the Caribbean.

Best cruises for solo travelers: Norwegian Encore

The best cruises from Miami for solo travelers are those offered on Norwegian Cruise Line 's 3,998-passenger Norwegian Encore , as well as its sister vessels, Norwegian Bliss and Norwegian Escape.

This is largely because Norwegian Encore and its sister ships boast unusually large private zones for solo travelers — something you won't find on the Miami-based vessels operated by Norwegian's main competitors.

The so-called "studio" zones on Norwegian Encore, Norwegian Bliss and Norwegian Escape — vessels that all are part of the line's recently unveiled Breakaway-Plus class of ships — have 82 special solo cabins apiece and a private Studio Lounge where solos can gather for happy hours and other events.

One other Norwegian ship that sometimes sails out of Miami, Norwegian Breakaway, has a similar solo zone with 59 cabins.

Only the studio zone on Norwegian's 2010-built Norwegian Epic is bigger, but that ship doesn't sail out of Miami.

A special zone for solo travelers is a concept that is rare in the cruise world, where almost all rooms for vacationers are designed for two people and sold with per-person fares that are based on two people occupying the room.

Solos staying in the solo cabins on the above vessels get exclusive access to the Studio Lounge (using their keycards), meaning a maximum of 59 to 82 people will share the space.

Related: The best cruise lines for solo travelers

The solo cabins in the zones are small (measuring 100 square feet) but are superbly designed to maximize storage space (something I learned firsthand staying in one on Norwegian Epic).

Solos on Norwegian Encore and its sister ships also will find a bustling bar scene, with plenty of counter-style seating in bars that are a great place to meet other solo travelers and friendly guests.

All of the ships mentioned above are great for solos, but we put Norwegian Encore first among them because it's the newest. Of all Norwegian's ships, it has the widest array of onboard attractions including one of the longest go-kart tracks at sea , an epic, open-air laser tag course and a virtual reality play zone.

Norwegian Encore, Norwegian Bliss, Norwegian Escape and Norwegian Breakaway are scheduled to rotate in and out of Miami for Bahamas and Caribbean sailings over the next two years. None of them operate out of Miami year-round, and typically they're not in town at the same time. If you're planning a solo cruise from Miami in the next couple years, you'll want to search for which vessel is scheduled to sail from Miami when you want to travel.

Best cruises for unrivaled fun: Carnival Celebration

Looking for a cruise out of Miami that is all about fun? Look no further than the sailings on Carnival Cruise Line 's new Carnival Celebration .

Carnival famously markets itself as the Fun Ship line, and this massive, 19-deck-high ship takes the tagline to heart with loads of fun-focused activities. It's got everything from a water park and ropes course to one of the first roller coasters at sea .

In the ship's interior areas, you'll find many bars, eateries and showrooms where fun is the focus, including restaurants where the waiters dance for you in between courses (something of a Carnival signature). The always-busy casino can be a fun zone for some, depending on the vagaries of Lady Luck.

Carnival draws a lively, outgoing crowd looking to be part of the action, and that's what you'll find on Carnival Celebration. The typical Carnival customer shoots up a hand when an entertainer asks for a volunteer to come on stage or jumps up to dance with the waiters during the dinner show. If this sounds like you, you've found your ship for a cruise from Miami.

Related: The ultimate guide to Carnival ships and itineraries

Just don't expect anything too highbrow. Carnival is about fun in a laid-back, unpretentious, nothing-too-fancy way.

At 183,521 gross tons, Carnival Celebration is one of the biggest ships sailing regularly from Miami. With room for up to 6,630 passengers, it's one of the most packed, too. Expect fun in the form of a bustling party at sea.

As for that roller coaster, just be warned that it's not the biggest you've ever seen. Dubbed Bolt: Ultimate Sea Coaster, it has an 800-foot-long track and vehicles that can hit speeds of 40 miles per hour. When it comes to top-deck cruise ship fun, it's hard to think of anything that compares.

Bottom line

Few ports in the world are home to as many cruise ships as Miami, which means cruisers have plenty of choices when it comes to sailings from the port. Almost all of the world's biggest cruise lines — including Royal Caribbean, Carnival, Norwegian and MSC Cruises — operate departures regularly from the port, typically with multiple ships and on multiple itineraries.

What is the best cruise from Miami for you? That'll depend on your personal interests and travel style. There are cruises from Miami that appeal to everyone, including family travelers, budget travelers and solo travelers.

Planning a cruise? Start with these stories:

• The 5 best cabin locations on any cruise ship
• The 8 worst cabin locations on any cruise ship
• A quick guide to the most popular cruise lines
• 21 tips and tricks that will make your cruise go smoothly
• 15 ways cruisers waste money
• 15 best cruises for people who never want to grow up
• What to pack for your first cruise

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The 8 best cruises from Miami for your next epic voyage

Luxe vessels, adults-only routes, themed getaways and more of the best cruises from Miami right now.

Being the tropical paradise that it is, Miami boasts impressive year-round cruise offerings in the form of super-sized vessels, tantalizing routes and, yes, quirkily themed excursions. If you’re lucky enough to call the Magic City home, these escapes are accessible in a matter of minutes via PortMiami. Otherwise, Miami International Airport is a convenient hub for all sorts of getaways from the city . As you gear up for your next voyage, we’ve vetted our top eight cruise experiences from Miami to consider. They include adults-only jaunts, EDM-fueled ragers at sea, luxe-for-less options and so much more.

RECOMMENDED: The best boat rentals in Miami

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Best cruises from Miami

1.  Virgin Voyages’ Scarlet Lady

In 2021, Virgin Voyages’ Scarlet Lady embarked on its maiden journey from Miami. An 18-and-over vessel that holds less than 2,800 passengers, its all-season offerings have been a hit since. In many ways, it’s the anti-cruise experience: no buffets, set dinner times or tacky performances. Instead, it has more than 20 culinary options with menus concocted by Michelin-starred chefs, sunrise meditation classes, a two-story nightclub and a sleek vibe as you’d expect from the Virgin brand. Among its four key itineraries are regular treks to the Dominican Republic, Mexico and Key West.

2.  Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas

The largest cruise ship in the world is scheduled to arrive at its Miami home in January 2024. From Royal Caribbean, this mammoth towers 20 decks, spans nearly 1,200 feet long and can carry up to 7,600 passengers. It’s family-friendly cruising at its pinnacle, boasting a massive glass AquaDome with acrobatic shows like “Pirates Vs. Mermaids,” a live jazz club, a Chill Island pool area with a swim-up bar and Thrill Island water park. Preliminary itineraries for Icon of the Seas include Eastern and Western Caribbean options.

3.  Groove Cruise

Believe it or not, 2024 marks 20 jammin’ years of the Groove Cruise . Since its inception, other big-time music cruises have emerged to set sail from the 305, but the Groove Cruise remains king of them all. For the big anniversary jaunt (January 24 – 28, 2024), beats will emanate from the Norwegian Encore, the event's largest vessel to date. Headliners include Diplo and John Summit and, upon docking, Tiesto hits the decks at Great Stirrup Cay in the Bahamas. In total, there are 96 hours of non-stop jams, so start warming your ears up now.

4.  Oceania Cruises’ Vista

Fun fact: Famed chef Giada De Laurentiis is the godmother of a cruise ship, the ultra-luxe  Vista from Oceania Cruises . Earlier this year, the 791-foot ship was completed and in May, it made its maiden voyage from Rome to Venice. In total, it holds an intimate 1,700 passengers. Among its Miami routes are 17-day excursions through the Caribbean and seven-day beach-fests along the Mexican Caribbean and Central America. With Oceania and de Laurentiis aboard, it promises the “Finest Cuisine at Sea” spanning a vast and elegant Sunday Brunch to internationally flared poke bowls at its Waves Grill.

5.  Chefs Making Waves

Here's a new cruise experience that's poised to satisfy in more ways than one:  Chefs Making Waves will make a March 2024 debut aboard the Norwegian Pearl with a four-night, all-inclusive journey to Great Stirrup Cay and Nassau. A who’s-who of Food Network stars—including Robert Irvine, Michael Symon, Andrew Zimmern and Buddy Valastro—will be on board for cooking demos, walk-around tastings, dinners and parties. So if you can’t make SOBEWFF in ’24 or want some bonus time with your favorite toques, this is it.

6.  Carnival’s Celebration

There are six zones aboard the Carnival Celebration that keep party squads and families alike entertained all cruise long. Within them, you’ll find the onboard rollercoaster BOLT, a live version of Family Feud , a Havana, Cuba-inspired bar and culinary delights like Emeril’s Bistro 1397. A standout route with a Miami departure amid its Caribbean slate is the Southern Caribbean trek, taking passengers to Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao.

7.  Regent Seven Seas Cruises’ Rome-to-Miami journey

Alright, so you’ll have to fly to Rome for this one and it ends in Miami . But business-class airfare comes with the ticket and it's an all-inclusive transatlantic journey like few others. It happens once a year and the 2023 voyage launches November 13, spanning 21 days. Stops include Toulon, France; Barcelona, Spain; Arrecife in the Canary Islands; and San Juan, Puerto Rico before carrying it home through Bahamian waters. As you’d imagine, it’s a lux vibe with unlimited beverages, pre-paid gratuities and even valet laundry service.

8.  Norwegian Cruise Line’s Three-Day Bahamas journey

For the long weekend crew, Norwegian Cruise Line has options galore that won’t break the paid-time-off bank. Its three-day cruise option that takes guests to Key West and Great Stirrup Cay is a steal, too, with options often under $500 inclusive of an open bar, free wi-fi and included excursions like a zipline adventure in the Bahamas and golf cart tour of Key West with your new cruise buddies.

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Luxury cruises from miami, florida, miami is the magic city....

...And cruises from Miami are equally magical when sailing aboard The World's Most Luxurious Fleet ™ . Warm up for the perfect vacation on South Beach before discovering the joy and freedom that comes with our Unrivaled Space at Sea ® . Immerse yourself in an unforgettable cruise in the Caribbean , then cool down at a luxury Miami resort before returning home.

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The unique experiences available in Miami, Florida are more enjoyable when traveling aboard a Regent Seven Seas luxury cruise. With the opportunity to customize your trip, you'll relish in a more personalized cruise experience on board and on shore.

Journey deep into the Everglades National Park aboard an airboat to witness the beauty and expanse of this protected area, and for the chance to spot the native wildlife. Delight in strolling through the bohemian enclave of Coconut Grove, as well as the world-famous pastel-colored Art Deco District, which is home to the world's largest collection of Art Deco architecture. For a bit of pop culture, enjoy a cruise along Biscayne Bay to see mansion after mansion in the luxurious neighborhoods on Palm Island, Hibiscus Island and Star Island. While cruising, the captain will offer a brief history of Miami and point out the homes of the rich and famous. Top off your Miami immersion with a delicious Cuban sandwich and a café con leche .

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Navigate 2024‘s 17 Best Cruises from Miami: Book Your Getaway

• Updated on March 5, 2024
• Tips and Tricks
• Florida , Miami

What You Will Learn (Click to Expand)

Set sail on a dream voyage from miami, discover the magic of cruising from the vibrant magic city.

Embark on a sea adventure that begins in the heart of vibrant Miami, where every cruise offers more than a journey — it’s the start of countless stories and memories.

Whether you’re drawn to the soothing rhythms of Caribbean shores or the allure of exploring new horizons, there’s a ship waiting to carry you there, including the Best Cruises from Miami .

Top 2024 Cruise Destinations from Miami

1. carnival horizon: western caribbean escape.

Embark on a six-day journey filled with excitement aboard the Carnival Horizon as it sets sail from Miami, FL, to explore the stunning Western Caribbean.

With endless entertainment options, including live shows, water slides, and gourmet dining, this ship promises an unforgettable experience for all amidst the vibrant destinations of the Western Caribbean.

Top Features:

• Diverse entertainment choices.
• Exciting water slides.
• Gourmet dining options.
• Spacious accommodations.
• Fun-filled onboard activities.
• Endless entertainment for guests of all ages.
• Delicious dining experiences.
• Comfortable and spacious accommodations.
• Variety of onboard activities to keep guests entertained.
• Opportunity to create lasting memories with loved ones.
• Crowded conditions during peak seasons.
• Additional expenses for certain onboard activities and amenities.

Best For: Carnival Horizon is perfect for families and thrill-seekers looking for a lively and fun-filled cruise experience .

2. Norwegian Gem: 3-Night Bahamas Cruise: Great Stirrup Cay & Nassau

Embark on a delightful three-night Bahamas adventure aboard the Norwegian Gem , setting sail from and returning to Miami, Florida.

Discover the charming ports of Nassau, Bahamas, and Great Stirrup Cay, Norwegian’s private island paradise.

• Lavish accommodations.
• Broadway-style entertainment.
• Onboard spa and wellness facilities.
• Exciting onboard activities like go-kart racing and laser tag.
• Indulgent luxury throughout the ship.
• Culinary delights from around the world.
• High-quality entertainment for guests of all ages.
• Relaxation and rejuvenation at the onboard spa.
• Thrilling activities for adventurous travelers.
• Crowded facilities during peak travel times.
• Additional charges for certain specialty dining options and activities.

Best For: Norwegian Gem is ideal for travelers seeking a sophisticated and indulgent cruise experience with a wide range of onboard amenities and activities.

Bahamas Cruises

3. independence of the seas: miami cruise adventure.

Embark on an unforgettable cruise aboard the Independence of the Seas , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Experience the excitement and luxury of this roundtrip journey as you explore captivating destinations and enjoy onboard amenities.

• Rock climbing wall.
• Ice skating rink.
• Broadway-caliber shows.
• Multiple pools and whirlpools.
• Specialty dining options.
• Exciting activities for adventure seekers.
• High-quality entertainment options.
• Variety of swimming and relaxation areas.
• Delicious dining choices for every palate.
• Family-friendly atmosphere.
• Additional fees for certain onboard activities and dining options.

Best For: Royal Caribbean’s Mariner of the Seas is perfect for families and active travelers looking for a wide range of onboard activities and entertainment options.

4. Oasis of the Seas: Caribbean Bliss

Embark on a magical seven-night journey through the Western Caribbean aboard the Oasis of the Seas , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore vibrant ports including Nassau, Bahamas; Perfect Day at Coco Cay, Bahamas; Labadee, Haiti; and Falmouth, Jamaica.

• Disney-themed entertainment.
• Character meet-and-greets.
• Broadway-style shows.
• Family-friendly pools and waterslides.
• Youth clubs for kids of all ages.
• Magical experiences for Disney fans.
• Opportunities to meet beloved characters.
• High-quality entertainment suitable for the whole family.
• Fun-filled aquatic areas for relaxation and play.
• Supervised activities for children, allowing adults to relax and enjoy the cruise.
• Higher cost compared to some other cruise lines.
• Limited itineraries compared to non-themed cruises.

Best For: Oasis of the Seas is perfect for families with children and Disney enthusiasts looking for an immersive and enchanting cruise experience.

Also, explore the list of best fishing spots in Miami.

Solo to Group Excursions: There’s a Cruise for Everyone

5. msc seaside: cruise the eastern caribbean & bahamas.

Embark on a seven-night voyage aboard the MSC Seaside as it explores the captivating Eastern Caribbean and Bahamas.

Departing and returning to Miami, Florida, this roundtrip journey promises unforgettable experiences amidst the sun-soaked islands of the Caribbean and the Bahamas.

• Innovative onboard amenities.
• Immersive entertainment experiences.
• Stylish and contemporary design.
• Varied dining options.
• Spacious staterooms with modern amenities.
• Access to cutting-edge onboard facilities.
• Engaging entertainment for guests of all ages.
• Contemporary and stylish ambiance throughout the ship.
• Comfortable accommodations with modern conveniences.
• Limited availability of some onboard activities during peak times.

Best For: MSC Seaside is ideal for travelers seeking a modern and dynamic cruise experience with innovative amenities and stylish surroundings.

6. Carnival Sunrise: 4 Night Bahamas

Embark on a delightful four-night Bahamas getaway aboard the Carnival Sunrise , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore the beautiful ports of Half Moon Cay, the Cruise Line Private Island, and Nassau, Bahamas, on this memorable roundtrip cruise.

• Elegant and stylish design.
• Gourmet dining experiences.
• Upscale onboard amenities.
• World-class entertainment options.
• Spacious and well-appointed accommodations.
• Sophisticated ambiance throughout the ship.
• Culinary delights from renowned chefs.
• Access to luxurious onboard facilities .
• Comfortable and spacious accommodations for a restful retreat.

Best For: Carnival Sunrise is perfect for travelers seeking a refined and luxurious cruising experience with upscale amenities and gourmet dining options.

Hair Tools Travel Bag

Special offshore experiences only from miami cruises, 7. carnival magic: 6-night eastern caribbean adventure.

Embark on a six-night adventure aboard the Carnival Magic as it cruises through the enchanting Eastern Caribbean.

Departing and returning from Miami, Florida, this roundtrip journey promises unforgettable experiences as you explore the sun-soaked islands and vibrant cultures of the Eastern Caribbean.

• Thrilling onboard activities.
• Lively entertainment options.
• Diverse dining choices.
• Family-friendly amenities.
• Comfortable and well-appointed accommodations.
• Endless entertainment options for guests of all ages.
• Delicious dining choices to suit every palate.
• Family-friendly atmosphere with activities for kids and adults alike.
• Relaxation and comfort in well-appointed accommodations.
• Opportunity to create unforgettable memories with loved ones.
• Crowded conditions during peak travel seasons.
• Additional charges for certain onboard activities and specialty dining options.

Best For: Carnival Magic is perfect for families and groups of friends seeking a lively and fun-filled cruise experience with a wide range of onboard entertainment options.

8. Symphony of the Seas: 4 Night Eastern Caribbean

Experience a four-night Eastern Caribbean escape aboard the Symphony of the Seas , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore the vibrant port of Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic, on this unforgettable roundtrip cruise adventure.

• Ultimate Abyss slide.
• Broadway-caliber entertainment.
• Onboard Aqua Park.
• Thrilling experiences with onboard attractions like the Ultimate Abyss slide .
• High-quality entertainment with Broadway-caliber shows and performances.
• Culinary delights from around the world with a variety of dining options.
• Crowded conditions during peak travel times.
• Additional fees for certain onboard activities and specialty dining options.

Best For: Symphony of the Seas is perfect for travelers seeking a diverse and action-packed cruise experience with thrilling onboard attractions , entertainment, and dining options.

9. Carnival Conquest: 4-Night Bahamas Getaway

Embark on a four-night Bahamas escape aboard the Carnival Conquest .

Departing and returning from Miami, Florida, this roundtrip journey includes stops at Princess Cays, the Cruise Line Private Island, and Nassau, Bahamas. Experience the sun, sand, and vibrant culture of these tropical destinations on this unforgettable cruise adventure.

• Poolside fun and relaxation.
• Live music performances.
• Family-friendly activities and amenities.
• Non-stop entertainment for guests of all ages.
• Relaxation and enjoyment by the poolside.
• Live music performances to keep the atmosphere lively.
• Delicious dining options to satisfy every craving.
• Family-friendly activities and amenities for a memorable vacation.

Best For: Carnival Conquest is perfect for travelers seeking a fun and energetic cruise experience with a variety of entertainment options and family-friendly amenities .

10. Freedom of the Seas: 3 Night Bahamas & Perfect Day Excursion

Embark on a thrilling three-night Bahamas & Perfect Day excursion aboard the Freedom of the Seas , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Experience the ultimate relaxation and adventure with stops at Perfect Day at CocoCay, Bahamas, and Nassau, Bahamas, on this unforgettable roundtrip cruise.

Top 5 Features:

• Expansive art collection and enriching onboard activities.
• Culinary Arts Center offers cooking demonstrations and hands-on workshops.
• Greenhouse Spa & Salon provides rejuvenating treatments.
• The Retreat is an exclusive outdoor lounge area for relaxation.
• An impressive lineup of live music and entertainment venues.

Five Benefits:

• A refined cruising experience with a strong emphasis on dining excellence.
• Educational enrichment programs range from digital workshops to guest speakers.
• Attentive and personalized service catering to each guest’s preferences.
• Destination-focused activities and excursions that enhance port visits.
• Comfortable and well-appointed staterooms offer magnificent ocean views.
• Some travelers might find the atmosphere more traditional than contemporary.
• Limited options for thrill-seekers who prefer high-energy onboard experiences.

Best For: Freedom of the Seas is ideal for discerning voyagers who appreciate sophisticated travel with a touch of historical maritime flair.

11. Carnival Celebration: Western Caribbean Expedition

Embark on a thrilling seven-night Western Caribbean expedition aboard the Carnival Celebration , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore the vibrant ports of Cozumel, Mexico; Mahogany Bay (Roatan), Bay Islands, Honduras; and Costa Maya (Mahahual), Mexico, on this unforgettable roundtrip cruise.

• The Waterfront is a promenade of dining and shopping with ocean views.
• A multi-slide Aqua Park includes the fastest waterslides at sea.
• Over 25 dining options that take your palate on a global adventure.
• Broadway-caliber performances such as “ Million Dollar Quartet .”
• Vibe Beach Club is an exclusive adults-only retreat.
• A myriad of activities ensures never a dull moment aboard.
• Exquisite dining choices cater to every craving and diet.
• Premium entertainment options create unforgettable evening experiences.
• The children’s program provides both fun and educational activities .
• State-of-the-art fitness center and luxurious spa services for wellness enthusiasts.
• During peak times, popular areas can become crowded .
• Some services and experiences may carry an additional charge beyond the inclusive fare.

Best For: Carnival Celebration suits adventure-seeking families, couples, and solo travelers who desire an activity-rich vacation with the freedom to customize their onboard experience.

12. Explorer of the Seas: Caribbean Bliss

Set sail on a four-night Caribbean adventure with Explorer of the Seas , departing from Miami, Florida.

Explore the exclusive paradise of Labadee, Haiti, with its pristine beaches and thrilling water activities. Don’t miss out on this unforgettable voyage!

• Custom-designed furnishings and a prestigious art collection.
• Culinary Center featuring cooking classes with master chefs.
• Canyon Ranch SpaClub promotes unmatched wellness experiences.
• Multiple gourmet dining venues, including the acclaimed Polo Grill.
• Spacious, sumptuously appointed suites and staterooms.
• Intimate is a mid-sized ship offering highly personalized service.
• Exquisite attention to detail, from cuisine to guest accommodations.
• Hands-on culinary workshops for aspiring chefs and food enthusiasts.
• Enriching onboard activities, from wine tastings to artist-led workshops.
• A relaxed atmosphere allows guests to explore destinations at leisure.
• Less suited for those seeking budget-friendly cruising options.
• Limited children’s amenities compared to other family-oriented cruise lines.

Best For: A perfect match for epicureans and anyone who prefers unhurried elegance blended seamlessly with immersive cultural experiences.

13. Norwegian Sky: Caribbean Getaway

Experience a five-night Caribbean getaway aboard the Norwegian Sky . Departing from Miami, Florida, this roundtrip journey includes visits to Key West, Florida; Cozumel, Mexico; and Great Stirrup Cay, the Cruise Line Private Island in the Bahamas.

Enjoy the added luxury of an open bar throughout your cruise.

• All-inclusive experience with a wide selection of complimentary dining options.
• Onboard activities range from Broadway shows to comedy nights .
• The Great Outdoors is a spacious deck for alfresco dining and stunning views.
• Multiple bars and lounges , including a lively poolside bar.
• Generous selection of cabin types to accommodate any preference or budget.
• An all-inclusive fare structure simplifies your vacation planning.
• Varied entertainment options cater to a diverse audience.
• Numerous dining venues eliminate the chance of monotonous mealtimes.
• Family-friendly activities ensure enjoyment for guests of all ages.
• Spacious public areas reduce the feeling of crowding, even on full sailings.
• Some areas might feel dated compared to newer fleet members.
• Premium experiences outside of the all-inclusive package might add to your budget.

Best For: Ideal for first-time cruisers and seasoned travelers alike looking for an all-encompassing cruise experience without the hassle of constant budgeting.

14. Celebrity Summit: Island Escape

Embark on a refreshing four-night voyage aboard the Celebrity Summit , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore the vibrant culture of Key West, Florida, before indulging in the tropical beauty of Nassau, Bahamas.

• The Rooftop Terrace offers movies under the stars.
• Cuisine crafted by a Michelin-starred chef across multiple dining venues .
• The Retreat experience includes exclusive suites and a private lounge.
• Canyon Ranch spa offers a sumptuous array of treatments .
• The Celebrity iLounge℠ features a modern approach to staying connected at sea.
• A small ship ambiance allows for intimate and personalized service.
• Exceptional dining experiences, promising culinary delights at every meal.
• Exclusive spaces offer a sense of privacy and luxury for suite guests.
• Comprehensive wellness programs to rejuvenate the mind, body, and spirit.
• An array of enrichment programs, from art auctions to lectures on various topics.
• Less variety of high-adrenaline activities compared to larger ships.
• The sophisticated atmosphere may not appeal to guests seeking a casual cruise vibe.

Best For: The Celebrity Summit is most suited to adult couples or groups wishing for a serene cruise with a touch of luxury and attentive service.

15. Norwegian Joy: Caribbean Voyage

Set sail on a thrilling seven-night Caribbean voyage aboard the Norwegian Joy , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore the captivating ports of Roatan, Honduras; Harvest Caye, Belize; Costa Maya, and Cozumel, Mexico.

• The Sanctuary is an adults-only retreat for relaxation and tranquility .
• Princess Theater, showcasing original Broadway-style productions.
• Scholarship@Sea enriching educational programs.
• Specialty dining options , including Sabatini’s Italian Trattoria.
• Personalized service with the MedallionClass™ experience.
• The cozy atmosphere aboard a mid-sized ship allows for easier navigation and less crowding.
• Signature activities and entertainment offer something for every taste and interest.
• Innovative technology for expedited boarding and personalized service.
• Culinary delights range from casual bites to fine dining experiences.
• A robust itinerary covering unique and exotic ports of call.
• It may lack the array of amenities found on mega-ships.
• Fewer adrenaline-packed activities , possibly limiting for adventure seekers.

Best For: Norwegian Joy is an exceptional choice for travelers who prefer a more traditional, relaxed cruising ambiance with a touch of personalized luxury.

Looking for some family fun? Check out our recommended list of amusement parks in Miami.

16. Norwegian Pearl: Caribbean Getaway

Experience a five-night Caribbean getaway aboard the Norwegian Pearl . Departing from Miami, Florida, this roundtrip journey includes visits to Key West, Florida; Cozumel, Mexico; and Great Stirrup Cay, the Cruise Line Private Island in the Bahamas.

• Multiple unique dining venues, including Asian fusion and French gourmet.
• Bowling alley in the ship’s spirited sports bar.
• Crystal-clear climbing wall and outdoor sports court for active fun.
• Poolside screens for movies under the stars.
• A variety of live music and entertainment options, including magic shows and comedy .
• Family-friendly with a range of activities and accommodations to suit any group size.
• A plethora of dining options ensures a new culinary adventure with every meal.
• A full roster of live shows and interactive entertainment to enliven your nights.
• Recreational amenities cater to both relaxation and active pursuits .
• Comprehensive children’s programs to engage young travelers.
• Some premium experiences and dining options require additional fees .
• The ship’s size and multitude of offerings might be overwhelming for some.

Best For: The Norwegian Pearl is fantastic for families, groups, and solo travelers who crave diversity and the freedom to tailor their cruise experience.

17. Scarlet Lady: 4 Nights of Fire and Sunset Soirees

Embark on a delightful four-night journey aboard the Scarlet Lady , sailing roundtrip from Miami, Florida.

Experience the vibrant culture of Key West, Florida, before indulging in the exclusive paradise of The Beach Club in Bimini, Bahamas.

• Diverse Dining: Enjoy upscale Mexican at Pink Agave, beach-inspired fare at The Dock House, and more.
• Unique Entertainment: Live performances at The Red Room and themed dinner parties like Another Rose.
• Wellness Facilities: Luxurious spa treatments at Redemption Spa and fitness classes at B-Complex Gym.
• Stylish Accommodations: Choose from Mega Rockstar Suites to Solo cabins, designed for comfort.
• Exclusive Amenities: Access exclusive lounges like Richard’s Rooftop and personalized Sailor Services.
• Longer stays at ports and more overnight calls for an in-depth local experience.
• Intimate ship size provides access to unique, less-visited harbors.
• Complimentary AzAmazing Evenings event on most voyages for a taste of local culture .
• Gourmet dining experiences are included in your fare, emphasizing quality and variety.
• Attentive, friendly service that anticipates your needs and desires.
• Additional Fees for Spa and Tattoo Services
• Scarlet Lady is an adults-only ship, which may be a drawback for families looking to cruise together.

Best For: Scarlet Lady is best for adults seeking a vibrant and inclusive cruise experience with a focus on relaxation, diverse dining options, innovative entertainment, and stylish accommodations.

Whether you’re a solo traveler, couple, or group of friends, Scarlet Lady promises an unparalleled vacation experience.

Your Premier Guide to Cruising from Miami

Essential pre-voyage information.

Before you embark on your epic voyage from Miami, it’s crucial to have all the necessary information to ensure a seamless and enjoyable experience .

Here’s what you need to know:

• Passport and Documentation: Ensure your passport is valid for at least six months past your travel dates. Keep your travel documents handy, including visas if required for your destinations.
• Packing Smart: Check the climate of your destinations and pack accordingly. Remember to include formal and casual wear for onboard activities.
• Travel Insurance: Consider purchasing comprehensive travel insurance that covers trip cancellations, medical emergencies, and unforeseen events.
• Vaccinations and Health: Stay updated with any required or recommended vaccinations. Bring any personal medications and a copy of your prescriptions.
• Online Check-in: Complete online check-in and print out your boarding pass and luggage tags to expedite your boarding process.
• Arrival Time: Plan to arrive at the cruise terminal early and consider staying in Miami the night before departure to minimize stress and potential delays.
• Port Transportation: Research transportation options from the airport or your hotel to the cruise terminal, be it taxi, shuttle, or public transportation.
• Cruise Apps and Technology: Many cruise lines offer apps that help with onboard communication, activity scheduling, and account management. Download and set these up before boarding.
• Cabin Essentials: Some travelers recommend bringing a power strip for additional outlets and a hanging organizer to maximize cabin space.

Adhering to these guidelines will place you on the deck, cocktail in hand, with nothing but the breeze and boundless adventure ahead.

Connect with Cruise Insiders for Expert Advice

For personalized guidance tailored to your cruising tastes and needs, connecting with a cruise insider is a smart move.

These seasoned professionals can offer the following:

• Insider Tips: Receive advice on selecting the best cabin, best dining experiences, and must-see entertainment on board.
• Exclusive Deals: Get access to insider-only promotions, cabin upgrades, and reduced fares that aren’t widely advertised.
• Port Insights: Learn about each destination’s highlights and hidden gems from someone who knows them well.
• Streamlined Planning: Let an expert handle the intricacies of cruise planning, from shore excursions to special requests.

Cruise insiders’ wealth of knowledge ensures that from the moment you step aboard, your cruise is nothing short of extraordinary.

FAQ: Navigate Your 2024 Miami Cruise Questions

The top cruise destinations from Miami in 2024 include the breathtaking beauty of the Bahamas, the vibrant culture of the  Caribbean Islands , and the picturesque coastlines of Mexico.

Adventurous travelers can also set sail to exotic locations such as Belize, Jamaica, and the Panama Canal for a taste of tropical paradise and rich cultural experiences.

To pick the best Miami-based cruise line that fits your preferences, consider these aspects: the type of experiences you enjoy ( relaxation, adventure, cultural immersion ), budget range, the size and amenities of the ship, dining preferences, and the type of traveler you are (solo, couple, family, group).

Read reviews, compare itineraries, and perhaps consult with a cruise agent to make an informed choice.

Reputation can be subjective, but consistently, cruise lines like  Royal Caribbean ,  Celebrity Cruises , and  Disney Cruise Line  are praised for their exceptional service, diverse offerings, and high standards of accommodation and cleanliness.

Choose based on what aligns best with your preferences in terms of luxury,  family-friendliness , and adventure opportunities.

The #1 cruise line often varies based on traveler reviews and industry accolades. However,  Disney Cruise Line  frequently earns top marks for its family-friendly atmosphere, exceptional service, and entertainment.

For more adult-centric luxury, Viking Ocean Cruises often ranks highly for its inclusive offerings and destination-focused itineraries.

The best time to cruise out of Miami is typically  between November and April  when the weather is warm and dry. This period avoids the Caribbean hurricane season and offers comfortable temperatures for enjoying the beaches and outdoor activities at your destinations.

Miami boasts a rich mosaic of cultures influenced by its  historical roots  as a Native American settlement, its Spanish and British colonial past, and its growth as a melting pot for Caribbean and Latin American immigrants.

This diversity is reflected in its vibrant arts scene, diverse neighborhoods like Little Havana, and a culinary landscape filled with fusion flavors. Miami’s history as a tourist destination and hub of entertainment adds to its unique cultural tapestry.

Approximately 22 cruise lines sail out  of Miami, offering a vast array of itineraries, ships, and experiences for travelers of all types.

This includes industry giants such as Royal Caribbean, Norwegian, MSC Cruises, and Carnival, as well as luxury lines and niche operators catering to specific interests and demographics.

The best cruises from Miami vary widely to cater to different tastes, but some of the top-rated options include the luxurious Celebrity Cruises for their modern sophistication,  Royal Caribbean  for fun-filled family adventures, and  Norwegian Cruise Line’s  freestyle cruising offering flexibility and a wide range of activities.

Consider your preferences for dining, entertainment, itinerary, and ship amenities to find your perfect match.

Near the Miami cruise port,  Bayside Marketplace  is a popular waterfront shopping area with a variety of stores and eateries.

Also, explore the trendy boutiques in the nearby artsy neighborhood of Coconut Grove, or venture a little further to Lincoln Road Mall and Miracle Mile for an extensive shopping experience. Don’t miss out on the  shopping malls in Miami —check out this curated list!

Calle Ocho in Little Havana  offers unique finds like hand-stitched guayabera shirts and hand-rolled Cuban cigars.

The best cruise line for you depends on your vacation priorities. For families,  Disney Cruise Line  offers a magical experience. Those seeking luxury might prefer lines like Celebrity or Viking. For value and variety, consider  Royal Caribbean  or  Norwegian .

Check reviews and consider destinations, onboard activities, dining options, and personal travel style to decide.

For cruising within Florida from Miami, options may be more limited since Miami is the primary Floridian departure point. However, short trips to the  Bahamas  often include stops at private islands owned by cruise lines, which are part of the Florida archipelago.

Look for weekend getaways or day cruises to the Keys, or staycations at sea with no ports of call.

To find all-inclusive cruises departing from Miami, check out offerings from major cruise lines like Norwegian’s all-inclusive packages or luxury lines such as  Regent Seven Seas Cruise s and  Silversea Cruises , which typically include amenities like beverages, dining, and excursions in their fare.

Research and comparing the packages provided by each line will help you find the perfect all-inclusive experience.

For the best cruises from Miami to the Bahamas, look to popular lines like  Royal Caribbean ,  Carnival , and  Norwegian  for short getaways or week-long vacations. These cruises often feature stops at the cruise line’s private islands along with other Bahamian destinations.

Reviews and travel websites like Cruise Critic can be great resources for current offerings and deals.

Several cruise lines offer 7-day cruises from Miami, including  Royal Caribbean International ,  Norwegian Cruise Line ,  Carnival Cruise Line , and  MSC Cruises . These cruises typically explore the Caribbean, giving you a week full of sun, sea, and exploration.

Each line offers a unique variety of onboard experiences, amenities, and shore excursions, tailoring to different tastes and preferences.

Made by travelers, for travelers, check out the Barefoot Caribou Products below!

Conclusion: Best Cruises from Miami

Your perfect cruise vacation awaits in the sparkling waters departing from Miami. Whether seeking adventure, relaxation, or cultural immersion, the selection of cruises is as diverse as the destinations they visit. From the grandeur of the Celebrity Beyond to the family-friendly Disney Dream , the sun-soaked Bahamas, or the rich tapestries of the Caribbean, choices abound.

Remember, the best cruise is the one that aligns with your dreams and desires. Factor in the onboard experience, the variety of ports, and the overall value to find your ideal seafaring journey.

Miami’s cruise port is your gateway to paradise , and with the wealth of options available in 2024, the hardest part will be choosing just one.

Ready to set sail? Pack your bags, book your voyage, and get ready to make waves, creating memories that will last a lifetime. Share your thoughts and experiences by commenting below !

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Cruises from Miami

Miami is famous for its glamorous beaches, Art Deco architecture, and lively Latino heritage. But did you know this city also boasts one of America’s most crowded cruise ports? With millions of passengers per year, PortMiami is an unavoidable mecca in the global cruise industry.

If you’re considering a cruise out of PortMiami, then you should read through this quick guide. After explaining how to reach this port, we’ll share a few expert tips on how to make the most of your free time in Miami.

Where is PortMiami?

PortMiami is just north of the city’s Downtown district and about seven miles west of Miami Beach. Miami International Airport (IATA: MIA) is only a ten-mile drive to PortMiami. 

Those who are driving from MIA to PortMiami should get on FL-836 E and then follow the Port Miami Tunnel. Without traffic, you should arrive at the port within less than 20 minutes.

What’s the best way to get to PortMiami?

The three most accessible ways to get from MIA to PortMiami include taxis, ride-share vehicles, and shuttles. Typically, it costs about $25 to hire either a taxi or a ride-share vehicle. Shuttles, on the other hand, usually charge $17 per person.

Of course, there is also the option of renting a car in Miami. Just remember that you will have to pay a parking fee at one of PortMiami’s garages. The parking rate for standard cars is now set at $22, but these fees are a few dollars higher if you park in Royal Caribbean’s Terminal A Garage.

FYI: some Miami-area hotels offer exclusive transportation deals to PortMiami. If you're staying in Miami before your cruise departs, please check with your hotel for more details.

Popular cruises from PortMiami

Considering PortMiami's location, it's no surprise most cruises travel to the Caribbean, especially the Bahamas. In addition to the famous port in Nassau, you could find plenty of cruises that stop in San Juan, Grand Turk, Labadie, and Amber Cove. A few other ports that are sometimes featured on Miami cruises include Montego Bay, Cozumel, and Key West.

Things to do in Miami before your cruise

Whether you’re into beautiful beaches of bright city lights, you’ll find plenty to entertain yourself in Miami. Spend time soaking some sun on South Beach and admiring the nearby Art Deco architecture. Once you’re done exploring Miami’s iconic sites, let out your inner “shop-a-holic” at the Bayside Marketplace and the Dolphin Mall.

Parents traveling to Miami will also find plenty of kid-friendly attractions throughout the city. Your children will undoubtedly enjoy a trip to Zoo Miami, the Miami Seaquarium, the Miami Science Center, or Jungle Island before your cruise departs.

Even if you only have a few hours to spare, there are still many things to do near PortMiami. Take a look at these exceptional attractions close to Miami's cruise terminals:  

• Feed a few flamingos on Jungle Island.  
• Take a walk through the 32-acre Bayfront Park.
• Shop til you drop in the Bayside Market.
• Journey to the stars in the Phillip and Patricia Frost Museum of Science. 
• Reflect on Miami's Cuban heritage at the Freedom Tower.

What are the best hotels near PortMiami?

As Florida’s second-largest city, Miami has a wide range of hotels to choose from. If you’re having a difficult time choosing a place to stay, you should take a peek at one of these highly-reviewed hotels. 

For obvious reasons, most tourists in Miami want to stay close to the city’s gorgeous beach. Thankfully, Fairwind Hotel offers an affordable two-star experience well within walking distance of the world-famous beach. Take a few moments to check out Fairwind Hotel’s rooms if you want to stay close to Miami Beach.

Alternatively, tourists who want a solid three-star hotel should research the Sheraton Miami Airport Hotel. Located directly across from the Melreese Country Club, this Sheraton offers many luxurious features, including marble bathrooms, an indoor pool, and two tantalizing restaurants.

Priced per person, based on 2 guests. Est. tax/fees of $137 pp not included.

Priced per person, based on 2 guests

Priced per person, based on 2 guests. Est. tax/fees of $99 pp not included.

Priced per person, based on 2 guests. Est. tax/fees of $122 pp not included.

Priced per person, based on 2 guests. Est. tax/fees of $133 pp not included.

Priced per person, based on 2 guests. Est. tax/fees of $148 pp not included.

Priced per person, based on 2 guests. Est. tax/fees of $188 pp not included.

Priced per person, based on 2 guests. Est. tax/fees of $169 pp not included.

Priced per person, based on 2 guests. Est. tax/fees of $311 pp not included.

Priced per person, based on 2 guests. Est. tax/fees of $168 pp not included.

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Explore the Best Cruises from Miami

Miami is one of the top cruise departure ports in the world, offering a wide range of cruise lines and destinations. Whether you’re looking for a fun-filled family cruise or a luxurious getaway, Miami has it all. In this article, we will explore the best cruises from Miami, including the top cruise lines departing from the city and the most popular cruise destinations. We will also take a look at the luxury and family-friendly options available. So sit back, relax, and let’s embark on an unforgettable cruise adventure from Miami!

Key Takeaways

• Miami is a popular departure port for cruises.
• Carnival Cruise Line, Royal Caribbean International, Norwegian Cruise Line, and MSC Cruises are the top cruise lines departing from Miami.
• The Caribbean Islands, Bahamas, Mexico, and Bermuda are some of the popular cruise destinations from Miami.
• Regent Seven Seas Cruises, Crystal Cruises, and Seabourn Cruise Line offer luxury cruises from Miami.
• Disney Cruise Line, Carnival Cruise Line, and Royal Caribbean International are great options for family-friendly cruises from Miami.

Top Cruise Lines Departing from Miami

Carnival Cruise Line

Carnival Cruise Line is one of the top cruise lines departing from Miami. With a wide range of itineraries and ships, Carnival offers a variety of options for travelers. Whether you’re looking for a short weekend getaway or a longer adventure, Carnival has something for everyone. One popular cruise option is the 7-Day Western Caribbean cruise from Miami, FL. This cruise allows you to explore beautiful destinations such as Cozumel, Grand Cayman, and Jamaica. With exciting onboard activities, delicious dining options, and comfortable accommodations, Carnival Cruise Line ensures a memorable vacation experience.

If you’re interested in booking a Carnival cruise from Miami, FL, you can visit their website at Carnival.com . They offer convenient online booking and provide all the necessary information to plan your perfect cruise vacation.

Royal Caribbean International

Royal Caribbean International is one of the top cruise lines departing from Miami. With a wide range of itineraries and ships, Royal Caribbean offers an unforgettable cruising experience. Whether you’re looking for a short getaway or a longer adventure, Royal Caribbean has something for everyone. From the stunning beaches of the Caribbean Islands to the vibrant culture of the Bahamas, there are plenty of popular cruise destinations to choose from. And if you’re in the mood for some luxury, Royal Caribbean also offers a selection of upscale cruises with Regent Seven Seas Cruises, Crystal Cruises, and Seabourn Cruise Line. Families will also find plenty of options with Royal Caribbean, including the popular Disney Cruise Line. With its exceptional service and family-friendly amenities, Royal Caribbean is a great choice for a memorable cruise vacation.

Norwegian Cruise Line

Norwegian Cruise Line is one of the top cruise lines departing from Miami. With a fleet of modern and luxurious ships, Norwegian Cruise Line offers a wide range of itineraries to popular destinations such as the Caribbean Islands, Bahamas, Mexico, and Bermuda. Whether you’re looking for a relaxing beach getaway or an adventurous exploration of vibrant cities, Norwegian Cruise Line has something for everyone. The cruise line is known for its innovative onboard amenities, including world-class dining options, thrilling entertainment, and luxurious accommodations. Experience the ultimate vacation with Norwegian Cruise Line!

MSC Cruises

MSC Cruises offers a wide range of cruise itineraries to the Caribbean. Whether you’re looking for a relaxing beach getaway or an adventurous exploration of the islands, MSC Cruises has something for everyone. With their luxurious ships and top-notch amenities, you’ll experience the ultimate vacation on board. From the stunning beaches of Jamaica to the vibrant culture of Puerto Rico, MSC Cruises will take you to some of the most beautiful destinations in the Caribbean. Book your next cruise with MSC Cruises and embark on an unforgettable journey.

Popular Cruise Destinations from Miami

Caribbean Islands

The Caribbean Islands are a popular destination for cruises departing from Miami. With their stunning beaches, crystal-clear waters, and vibrant culture, it’s no wonder why so many people choose to explore this tropical paradise. Whether you’re looking to relax on the beach, go snorkeling in the coral reefs, or immerse yourself in the local cuisine, the Caribbean Islands offer something for everyone. From the bustling streets of Jamaica to the tranquil shores of the Bahamas, each island has its own unique charm and attractions. Embark on a cruise to the Caribbean Islands and experience the beauty and excitement of this tropical paradise.

The Bahamas is a popular cruise destination from Miami. With its crystal-clear turquoise waters and pristine white sandy beaches, it offers a tropical paradise for vacationers. Whether you’re looking to relax on the beach, go snorkeling in vibrant coral reefs, or explore the vibrant local culture, the Bahamas has something for everyone. The Bahamas is also known for its delicious seafood, including fresh conch salad and grilled lobster. Don’t forget to try the famous Bahamian cocktail, the Bahama Mama , during your visit.

Cruise to Mexico and find everything from volcanoes , jungles and deserts and beaches, to enjoy outdoor and urban adventures of all kinds. Head to museums to see the rich cultural heritage of the country. Mexico offers a diverse range of experiences for every type of traveler. Whether you’re looking for relaxation on pristine beaches or thrilling adventures in nature, Mexico has it all.

Bermuda is a popular cruise destination from Miami, offering a unique blend of natural beauty and rich history. With its pink sand beaches, crystal-clear waters, and charming colonial architecture, Bermuda is a paradise for beach lovers and history enthusiasts alike. Whether you’re interested in exploring the island’s historic sites, snorkeling in its vibrant coral reefs, or simply relaxing on the beach, Bermuda has something for everyone. Regent Seven Seas Cruises and Oceania Cruises are two cruise lines that offer cruises from Miami to Bermuda, providing a luxurious and unforgettable experience. With a variety of itineraries and onboard amenities, these cruise lines ensure that your journey to Bermuda is as enjoyable as the destination itself.

Luxury Cruises from Miami

Regent Seven Seas Cruises

Regent Seven Seas Cruises is a luxury cruise line that offers exceptional experiences for travelers. With its newest ship, the Seven Seas Grandeur , Regent Seven Seas Cruises continues to provide top-notch service and amenities. The cruise line is known for its all-inclusive packages, which include fine dining, luxurious accommodations, and exciting onboard activities. Whether you’re looking for a romantic getaway or a relaxing vacation, Regent Seven Seas Cruises has something for everyone. Book your luxury cruise from Miami and embark on a journey of a lifetime.

Crystal Cruises

Crystal Cruises is a luxury cruise line that offers an exceptional experience for travelers seeking elegance and sophistication. With a fleet of luxurious ships, Crystal Cruises provides world-class amenities and services to ensure a memorable journey. From gourmet dining options to luxurious accommodations, Crystal Cruises caters to the discerning traveler. Whether you’re looking to explore exotic destinations or simply relax and unwind, Crystal Cruises offers a range of itineraries to suit every traveler’s preferences. Embark on a voyage of luxury and indulge in the finest experiences with Crystal Cruises.

Seabourn Cruise Line

Seabourn Cruise Line offers a luxurious and unforgettable cruising experience. With its fleet of intimate ships, Seabourn provides personalized service and attention to detail. The cruise line is known for its elegant accommodations, gourmet dining options, and world-class entertainment. Whether you’re exploring the Caribbean islands, the Bahamas, Mexico, or Bermuda, Seabourn Cruise Line ensures a memorable journey with its exceptional amenities and activities. Indulge in spa treatments, relax by the pool, or enjoy live performances onboard. Seabourn Cruise Line is the perfect choice for those seeking a sophisticated and indulgent cruise vacation.

Family-Friendly Cruises from Miami

Disney Cruise Line

Disney Cruise Line is one of the top choices for families looking to embark on a memorable cruise vacation. With its magical Disney-themed experiences and world-class entertainment, it offers a truly enchanting journey for both kids and adults alike. The cruise line departs from Port Miami, which is conveniently located in the heart of Florida. From here, you can set sail to explore the beautiful Caribbean islands, including popular destinations like the Bahamas and Mexico. Whether you’re a Disney fan or simply looking for a fun-filled family adventure, Disney Cruise Line is sure to exceed your expectations.

Here are some key features of Disney Cruise Line:

• Disney-themed experiences and characters
• World-class entertainment
• Convenient departure from Port Miami
• Caribbean island destinations

Tip: Don’t forget to check out the AllEars.Net website for everything you need to know about Disney Cruise Line and the Port Miami terminal.

Carnival Cruise Line is one of the top cruise lines departing from Miami. With a wide range of itineraries and destinations, Carnival offers a fun and exciting cruise experience for all ages. Whether you’re looking for a relaxing beach getaway or an adventurous island hopping trip, Carnival has something for everyone.

• Carnival Cruise Line offers a variety of onboard activities and entertainment options, including live shows, comedy clubs, and water parks.
• The cruise line is known for its vibrant and lively atmosphere, with themed parties and events happening throughout the voyage.
• Carnival also offers a range of dining options, from casual buffets to specialty restaurants.

If you’re looking for a cruise that combines fun, relaxation, and adventure, Carnival Cruise Line is a great choice.

Royal Caribbean International is one of the top cruise lines departing from Miami. With a wide range of itineraries and ships, Royal Caribbean offers an exciting and unforgettable cruising experience. Whether you’re looking for a short weekend getaway or a longer vacation, Royal Caribbean has something for everyone. From thrilling onboard activities like rock climbing and surfing to luxurious amenities and world-class dining options, you’ll never be bored on a Royal Caribbean cruise. Explore stunning destinations in the Caribbean, Bahamas, Mexico, and Bermuda, and create memories that will last a lifetime.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the top cruise lines departing from miami.

The top cruise lines departing from Miami are Carnival Cruise Line, Royal Caribbean International, Norwegian Cruise Line, and MSC Cruises.

What are the popular cruise destinations from Miami?

The popular cruise destinations from Miami include the Caribbean Islands, Bahamas, Mexico, and Bermuda.

Which cruise lines offer luxury cruises from Miami?

The cruise lines that offer luxury cruises from Miami are Regent Seven Seas Cruises, Crystal Cruises, and Seabourn Cruise Line.

Which cruise lines offer family-friendly cruises from Miami?

The cruise lines that offer family-friendly cruises from Miami are Disney Cruise Line, Carnival Cruise Line, and Royal Caribbean International.

What amenities are available on the cruise ships departing from Miami?

The cruise ships departing from Miami offer a wide range of amenities including restaurants, bars, swimming pools, fitness centers, entertainment shows, and kids’ clubs.

What is the best time of year to take a cruise from Miami?

The best time of year to take a cruise from Miami is during the winter months, from December to April, when the weather is warm and the seas are calm.

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Cristina is an accomplished travel writer and an expert in all things cruising, contributing her extensive knowledge and enthusiasm to Sea Savant. With over 15 years of experience in travel journalism, Cristina has a profound understanding of the cruise industry, from the intimate details of ship life to the broad spectrum of global destinations.

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Cruises From Miami

Miami, the city on the southern tip of Florida, is also the second largest metropolis of the Sunshine States in the US and is often called on a North America cruise . On sunny days, which are frequent here, it attracts many tourists to the famous beach Miami Beach with its almost white fine sand. Along the street there are pastel-coloured rows of houses from the Art Deco period. Take a leisurely walk to capture this photo opportunity, as the backdrop of the turquoise-blue sea makes it seem like the perfect postcard setting - great for a snapshot or souvenir photo before cruising off Miami!

To get acquainted with the cultural features of the city, treat yourself to a trip before or after your Miami cruise to the little Havana neighborhood with its Cuban flair. The small bars and pubs not only offer Cuban cigars and fruits, but also the special lifestyle of Cuba in the middle of the city. Explore downtown and discover the tallest building in town, the 240-meter Four Seasons Tower.

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Itinerary: Barcelona, Valencia, Malaga, Ponta Delgada, Miami

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Miami Tips - To-Dos Before Your Miami Cruise

At the Miami Seaquarium you can marvel at dolphins, whales and many other impressive aquatic animals. If you are an animal lover, you should not miss the Miami Metro Zoo. There are even safari tours offered by the zoo - what a fantastic way to appreciate the animals on offer.

If you have booked a rental car, drive to the Everglades , which begins in northern Miami . On a guided tour you can see, amongst other things, the only wild flamingos or discover alligators, turtles and many other water-loving animals that you rarely meet.

From Miami to the Caribbean

Many islands lie in the Atlantic off the coast of Florida. These holiday paradises are also usually destinations of the Caribbean cruises that start in Miami. For example, you can reach the Caribbean islands of Jamaica or St. Maarten on your cruise. Also Cuba cruises and Bahamas cruises are on the program. Treat yourself to a break on the fine sandy, palm-fringed beaches with a cocktail on the islands.

In Cuba's capital Havana , there are still many architectural references to the Spanish colonial rule on the island. The Castillo de la Real Fuerza houses a maritime museum set in the impressive fortress. For shore excursions, it is best to join a guided tour, as there are some corners in the city and on the island you should avoid, and the tour guides know exactly where to take you to see the sights. --> Havana Cruises

After your ship has moored in Nassau, the capital of the Bahamas, a short drive over a harbour bridge will take you  to the neighbouring island of Paradise Island. This beach paradise really lives up to its name. Lie comfortably on the beach and enjoy the clear sea water and the pleasant light wind. Off the coast of New Providence, on which Nassau lies, you will find a snorkeling paradise with beautiful coral reefs . --> Nassau cruises

In S t. Maarten, your cruise from Miami awaits you with a spectacular experience, as the international airport is located near the beach. Sit and enjoy a cold drink, and you may see a passenger plane suddenly appears above you, approaching you as if it were landing directly on your head. However, you should not let yourself be led here to the reckless actions of many visitors, to face the direct pull of the aircraft as this could be very dangerous.

If your ship isn’t heading straight for the Caribbean islands, but driving through the Gulf of Mexico, you can cruise to the music-embossed city of New Orleans on your cruise from Miami, for example. Take a trip down the Mississippi to discover the city from the waterway. If you visit the French Quarter, which dates back to the French colonial era, you can visit the Louis Armstrong Park, which commemorates the city's most famous son.

Throughout the year, cruise ships depart from Miami on Mexican cruises . Visit the famous Mayan buildings or the island of Cozumel. In Chankanaab Ecopark there is a lagoon with underwater caves where dolphins, manatees and sea turtles live.

Many cruise routes also lead to the Dominican Republic, where in addition to the typical beaches you will also find a variety of golf courses. In the capital, Santo Domingo, it is worth visiting the gothic Catedral Primada de America, located in the Spanish colonial zone of Zona.

Did you know that you can also start a Transatlantic cruise to Cape Town from Miami?

Arrival at Miami cruise terminal and parking facilities

Miami is the largest cruise port in the world , accommodating a total of 7 terminals. Be sure to check your travel documents for terminal information. Getting to the port is often by car via the expressway, the MacArthur Causeway. The tunnel linking downtown Miami with the man-made Dodge Island is a second option for reaching the cruise port by car. The Dante B. Fascell Port of Miami offers plenty of space for the cars of cruise travellers, with a total of three parking garages. From the airport or city centre, the cruise terminal can also be reached by shuttle bus or public transport.

Popular cruise lines

Carnival Cruise Line , Celebrity Cruises , Royal Caribbean and MSC Cruises are popular cruise lines from Miami.

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Easy Escape to Paradise

New adventures are on the horizon, with margaritaville at sea.

Margaritaville at Sea is your new off-shore resort experience, sailing from Palm Beach and Tampa to Grand Bahama Island, Mexico and Key West. On this floating island vacation, you can unwind, enjoy the endless activities and entertainment, or just relax and soak up the sun. 

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Ready to reserve the ultimate cruise deal? Easy to book and easy to plan, Margaritaville at Sea invites you to climb aboard for nonstop fun, where it’s always 5 o'clock at sea. Our cruise offers are an irresistible opportunity to get a great deal on your next Caribbean escape.

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Take your Margaritaville cruise experience to the next level. Margaritaville at Sea will take you from relaxation to revelry with your choice of stops anywhere in between. Delectable food, St. Somewhere Spa & Salon, live music and shows–from sunrise to sunset and every moment in between, there’s always something exciting happening.

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Grand Bahama Island is a haven of gorgeous white sand beaches, surrounded by crystal clear waters that stretch for miles. Extend your vacation on land and stay at your choice of three gorgeous partner resorts on Grand Bahama Island for an all-inclusive experience.

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Cruise from Miami, Florida

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THE WORLD'S BEST FAMILY HOLIDAY

Introducing the new Icon of the Seas℠ , a whole new class of Royal Caribbean® adventure. Let your adrenaline surge at the largest waterpark at sea. Here, every day is a sun day with an all-you-can-swim buffet of seven unique pools – the most ever on a cruise. And families discover adventure for all ages at Surfside ℠ , a stay-all-day destination right onboard that opens the floodgates on family fun.

Icon of the Seas℠ arrives early 2024

WOW-WORTHY SIGHTS IN THE MAGIC CITY 

From a bustling city centre with shimmering skyscrapers to endless beaches, Miami is an urban paradise all year long. Enjoy a plethora of things to do before your cruise out of Miami. If you crave an exhilarating day of adventure on the water, head to Oleta State Park for a myriad of water sports in the Biscayne Bay. If you’re needing an art fix, explore the Perez Art Museum or historic Vizcaya Museum and Gardens. If a break in nature is needed, there’s no shortage of places to experience wildlife up close, head to Zoo Miami or Miami Seaquarium for interactive shows and encounters. With so many options and things to do, Miami is the perfect place to set the tone for your next cruise adventure.

Blazing with Adventure

Feel the heat of adventure in The Magic City and cool off with a cruise to the Bahamas or Caribbean from the Miami cruise port on some of our most amped up ships yet.

Oasis of the Seas

This family-favourite ship takes you to some of the coolest destinations in the tropics. In between isles, make every day onboard unforgettable with delicious dining, jaw-dropping entertainment, adrenaline-amping rides and supercharged slides – like the The Perfect Storm.

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Freedom of the Seas

Trade 'sea days' for 'see more' days on an all-around all-star – Freedom of the Seas®. Experience more to do onboard the ship, with fewer days between some of the world's most exotic travel destinations.

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INDEPENDENCE OF THE SEAS

Take on the tropics on a short Caribbean getaway unlike any other. From non-stop thrills to mouthwatering dining options and Broadway musicals, Independence of the Seas® is your ticket to a memory-maxing adventure.

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A BOLDER WAY TO GET AWAY WEEKEND CRUISES

Break up with your weekly routine with a weekend cruise from Miami and set sail on a memory-filled getaway that’ll take you so much further than a standard staycation. Royal Caribbean® offers plenty of bolder-than-ever weekend sailings to some of the Caribbean’s most stunning shores onboard the world’s most incredible cruise ships – no days off required. Which means you can fill your year with even more bucket list adventures.

Break up with your weekly routine and set sail on a memory filled getaway that’ll take you so much further than a standard staycation. Royal Caribbean® offers plenty of bolder-than-ever weekend sailings to some of the Caribbean’s most stunning shores onboard the world’s most incredible cruise ships – no days off required. Which means you can fill your year with even more bucket list adventures.

KICK START THE ULTIMATE ADVENTURE FROM MIAMI

Whether you’re on a short getaway or weeklong wander, conquer record-breaking thrills and discover epic ways to chill at the award-winning Perfect Day at CocoCay. Luxe the day away in an Overwater Cabana at Coco Beach Club ® . Or crank up the party at Hideaway Beach ℠ , the ultimate adults-only beachfront paradise. Plus, get your fix of non-stop thrills like the tallest waterslide in North America. And refuel over foodie finds from signature wings to all-you-can-eat island favourites.

Whether you’re on a short getaway or weeklong wander, conquer record-breaking thrills and discover epic ways to chill at the award-winning Perfect Day at CocoCay. Luxe the day away in an Overwater Cabana at  Coco Beach Club® . Or crank up the party at  Hideaway Beach ℠, the ultimate adults-only beachfront paradise. Plus, get your fix of non-stop thrills like the tallest waterslide in North America. And refuel over foodie finds from signature wings to all-you-can-eat island favourites.

Miami Shore Excursions

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Art Deco Hotels Collins Avenue, Miami, Florida

South Beach is a bright hot spot no matter what time of day. Soak up the sun along the shore and admire the Art Deco gems along lively Ocean Drive. Stroll busy Collins Avenue, sip mojitos in beach bars, dance in ultra-hip nightclubs and enjoy the best people watching in the city.

Called Culture

Older Men Close Up Smoking Cuban Cigars, Miami, Florida

Experience Miami’s Cuban traditions along Calle Ocho in Little Havana. Here you can wander streets filled with fiery salsa sounds and meet locals smoking cigars over a game of dominoes. From its colourfully painted rooster statues to its hand-rolled cigar shops and open-air fruit markets, this is as authentic as it gets.

Blank Canvas

Unleash your creative side with a jaunt through the Wynwood Art District during your Miami cruise. Every façade in this art-centric neighbourhood comes decked out in vibrant life-size murals by globally recognised talents. And don’t miss Wynwood Walls, a collection of old warehouses adorned with abstract paintings, graffiti quotes and unique sculptures.

Local Cuisine

Miami is an international culinary powerhouse. Michelin-starred chefs fill many kitchens and Latin American flavours highlight many menus. You can’t miss the city’s signature Cuban food: Enjoy pastelitos (pastries) for breakfast, lunch on a famous frita (spicy burger), then savor ropa vieja (beef stew) for dinner. If seafood is your thing, crack into succulent stone crab claws, a true South Florida delicacy.

Bayside Marketplace, across from the port, is a popular waterfront shopping spot for visitors. Locals love the quirky boutiques in Coconut Grove. Lincoln Road Mall spans 10 blocks of shops – and Miracle Mile is a long string of speciality stores. Cruise to Miami and head to Calle Ocho for hand-stitched guayabera shirts and hand-rolled Cuban cigars.

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Subscriber only, travel | 8 new ships coming to norwegian cruise line, sister brands plus dock at great stirrup cay.

The parent company to Norwegian Cruise Line announced Monday a major order for eight new ships among its three brands as well as the construction of a pier to allow its cruise ships to dock instead of tender to its private Bahamas island for the first time.

Norwegian Cruise Line Holdings said it was planning to bring on four new ships for NCL, two new ships for upper premium brand Oceania Cruises and two ships for luxury brand Regent Seven Seas, all to be built at Fincantieri shipyard in Italy and debut during a 10-year run from 2026-2036.

The NCL ships would be the largest ever built for the line at around 200,000 gross tons and capacity of about 5,000 guests. They won’t arrive until after the final delivery of its Prima-Plus class ships expected between 2025-2028, the larger sister ships to the Norwegian Prima and Viva that debuted in the last couple of years. The four ships from the unnamed class of vessel would arrive in 2030, 2032, 2034 and 2036.

The new class for Oceania Cruises, which in 2023 debuted its first new ship in more than a decade — the Oceania Allura — will also be the largest ever built for the line at 86,000 gross tons and a capacity of 1,450 guests. They’re expected in 2027 and 2029.

And the Regent Seven Seas fleet’s new vessels will also be larger coming in at 77,000 gross tons with a capacity of 850 guests. They’re expected in 2026 and 2029. Regent just debuted the third of its Explorer class ships in December 2023.

“This strategic new-ship order across all three of our award-winning brands provides for the steady introduction of cutting-edge vessels into our fleet and solidifies our long-term growth,” said NCLH president and CEO Harry Sommer in a press release. “It also allows us to significantly leverage our operating scale, strengthen our commitment to innovation and enhance our ability to offer our guests new products and experiences, all while providing opportunities to enhance the efficiency of our fleet.”

No other details about the ships were released. Financing is already in place to fund 80% of the cost for the four ships among the Oceania and Regent orders, but financing for the four NCL ships is not finalized.

The eight ships expects to add 25,000 more to the three cruise lines’ passenger capacity.

In addition, the line is set to construct a multi-ship pier at Great Stirrup Cay, the popular Bahamas private destination visited by all three brands. The move follows the introduction of a dock that can support two Oasis-class vessels at neighboring Perfect Day at Coco Cay for Royal Caribbean while other private Bahamas destinations including Disney’s Castaway Cay and its new Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point feature tenderless docks for easy access.

“We are likewise excited with the addition of a new pier at Great Stirrup Cay to support our increased capacity in the Caribbean and multiple ships to call on the island, enhancing our guest experience and bringing seamless and reliable access to our private island year-round,” Sommer said.

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Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

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Updated at 2:44 p.m. ET on April 6, 2024.

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MY FIRST GLIMPSE of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea, amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my optic nerve to try again.

The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.

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“Author embarks on their first cruise-ship voyage” has been a staple of American essay writing for almost three decades, beginning with David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which was first published in 1996 under the title “Shipping Out.” Since then, many admirable writers have widened and diversified the genre. Usually the essayist commissioned to take to the sea is in their first or second flush of youth and is ready to sharpen their wit against the hull of the offending vessel. I am 51, old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist, and mostly what I do in both life and prose is shrug while muttering to my imaginary dachshund, “This too shall pass.” But the Icon of the Seas will not countenance a shrug. The Icon of the Seas is the Linda Loman of cruise ships, exclaiming that attention must be paid. And here I am in late January with my one piece of luggage and useless gray winter jacket and passport, zipping through the Port of Miami en route to the gangway that will separate me from the bulk of North America for more than seven days, ready to pay it in full.

The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused. It turns out that the aft is the stern of the ship, or, for those of us who don’t know what a stern or an aft are, its ass. The nose of the ship, responsible for separating the waves before it, is also called a bow, and is marked for passengers as the FWD , or forward. The part of the contemporary sailing vessel where the malls are clustered is called the midship. I trust that you have enjoyed this nautical lesson.

I ascend via elevator to my suite on Deck 11. This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed. To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? Unthinkable.

Allow me a brief preamble here. The story you are reading was commissioned at a moment when most staterooms on the Icon were sold out. In fact, so enthralled by the prospect of this voyage were hard-core mariners that the ship’s entire inventory of guest rooms (the Icon can accommodate up to 7,600 passengers, but its inaugural journey was reduced to 5,000 or so for a less crowded experience) was almost immediately sold out. Hence, this publication was faced with the shocking prospect of paying nearly $19,000 to procure for this solitary passenger an entire suite—not including drinking expenses—all for the privilege of bringing you this article. But the suite in question doesn’t even have a view of the ocean! I sit down hard on my soft bed. Nineteen thousand dollars for this .

The viewless suite does have its pluses. In addition to all the Malin+Goetz products in my dual bathrooms, I am granted use of a dedicated Suite Deck lounge; access to Coastal Kitchen, a superior restaurant for Suites passengers; complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream (“the fastest Internet at Sea”) “for one device per person for the whole cruise duration”; a pair of bathrobes (one of which comes prestained with what looks like a large expectoration by the greenest lizard on Earth); and use of the Grove Suite Sun, an area on Decks 18 and 19 with food and deck chairs reserved exclusively for Suite passengers. I also get reserved seating for a performance of The Wizard of Oz , an ice-skating tribute to the periodic table, and similar provocations. The very color of my Suite Sky SeaPass Card, an oceanic blue as opposed to the cloying royal purple of the standard non-Suite passenger, will soon provoke envy and admiration. But as high as my status may be, there are those on board who have much higher status still, and I will soon learn to bow before them.

In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends. But I naively thought that my meatball T-shirt would be more suitable for conversation-starting. “Oh, and who is your ‘daddy’?” some might ask upon seeing it. “And how long have you been his ‘little meatball’?” And so on.

I put on my meatball T-shirt and head for one of the dining rooms to get a late lunch. In the elevator, I stick out my chest for all to read the funny legend upon it, but soon I realize that despite its burnished tricolor letters, no one takes note. More to the point, no one takes note of me. Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace , who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am. If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity.

Worse awaits me in the dining room. This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language. “I’m sorry, this is only for pendejos ,” he seems to be saying. I push back politely and he repeats himself. Pendejos ? Piranhas? There’s some kind of P-word to which I am not attuned. Meanwhile elderly passengers stream right past, powered by their limbs, walkers, and electric wheelchairs. “It is only pendejo dining today, sir.” “But I have a suite!” I say, already starting to catch on to the ship’s class system. He examines my card again. “But you are not a pendejo ,” he confirms. I am wearing a DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL T-shirt, I want to say to him. I am the essence of pendejo .

Eventually, I give up and head to the plebeian buffet on Deck 15, which has an aquatic-styled name I have now forgotten. Before gaining entry to this endless cornucopia of reheated food, one passes a washing station of many sinks and soap dispensers, and perhaps the most intriguing character on the entire ship. He is Mr. Washy Washy—or, according to his name tag, Nielbert of the Philippines—and he is dressed as a taco (on other occasions, I’ll see him dressed as a burger). Mr. Washy Washy performs an eponymous song in spirited, indeed flamboyant English: “Washy, washy, wash your hands, WASHY WASHY!” The dangers of norovirus and COVID on a cruise ship this size (a giant fellow ship was stricken with the former right after my voyage) makes Mr. Washy Washy an essential member of the crew. The problem lies with the food at the end of Washy’s rainbow. The buffet is groaning with what sounds like sophisticated dishes—marinated octopus, boiled egg with anchovy, chorizo, lobster claws—but every animal tastes tragically the same, as if there was only one creature available at the market, a “cruisipus” bred specifically for Royal Caribbean dining. The “vegetables” are no better. I pick up a tomato slice and look right through it. It tastes like cellophane. I sit alone, apart from the couples and parents with gaggles of children, as “We Are Family” echoes across the buffet space.

I may have failed to mention that all this time, the Icon of the Seas has not left port. As the fiery mango of the subtropical setting sun makes Miami’s condo skyline even more apocalyptic, the ship shoves off beneath a perfunctory display of fireworks. After the sun sets, in the far, dark distance, another circus-lit cruise ship ruptures the waves before us. We glance at it with pity, because it is by definition a smaller ship than our own. I am on Deck 15, outside the buffet and overlooking a bunch of pools (the Icon has seven of them), drinking a frilly drink that I got from one of the bars (the Icon has 15 of them), still too shy to speak to anyone, despite Sister Sledge’s assertion that all on the ship are somehow related.

Kim Brooks: On failing the family vacation

The ship’s passage away from Ron DeSantis’s Florida provides no frisson, no sense of developing “sea legs,” as the ship is too large to register the presence of waves unless a mighty wind adds significant chop. It is time for me to register the presence of the 5,000 passengers around me, even if they refuse to register mine. My fellow travelers have prepared for this trip with personally decorated T-shirts celebrating the importance of this voyage. The simplest ones say ICON INAUGURAL ’24 on the back and the family name on the front. Others attest to an over-the-top love of cruise ships: WARNING! MAY START TALKING ABOUT CRUISING . Still others are artisanally designed and celebrate lifetimes spent married while cruising (on ships, of course). A couple possibly in their 90s are wearing shirts whose backs feature a drawing of a cruise liner, two flamingos with ostensibly male and female characteristics, and the legend “ HUSBAND AND WIFE Cruising Partners FOR LIFE WE MAY NOT HAVE IT All Together BUT TOGETHER WE HAVE IT ALL .” (The words not in all caps have been written in cursive.) A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.

I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

I breakfast alone at the Coastal Kitchen. The coffee tastes fine and the eggs came out of a bird. The ship rolls slightly this morning; I can feel it in my thighs and my schlong, the parts of me that are most receptive to danger.

I had a dangerous conversation last night. After the sun set and we were at least 50 miles from shore (most modern cruise ships sail at about 23 miles an hour), I lay in bed softly hiccupping, my arms stretched out exactly like Jesus on the cross, the sound of the distant waves missing from my mall-facing suite, replaced by the hum of air-conditioning and children shouting in Spanish through the vents of my two bathrooms. I decided this passivity was unacceptable. As an immigrant, I feel duty-bound to complete the tasks I am paid for, which means reaching out and trying to understand my fellow cruisers. So I put on a normal James Perse T-shirt and headed for one of the bars on the Royal Promenade—the Schooner Bar, it was called, if memory serves correctly.

I sat at the bar for a martini and two Negronis. An old man with thick, hairy forearms drank next to me, very silent and Hemingwaylike, while a dreadlocked piano player tinkled out a series of excellent Elton John covers. To my right, a young white couple—he in floral shorts, she in a light, summery miniskirt with a fearsome diamond ring, neither of them in football regalia—chatted with an elderly couple. Do it , I commanded myself. Open your mouth. Speak! Speak without being spoken to. Initiate. A sentence fragment caught my ear from the young woman, “Cherry Hill.” This is a suburb of Philadelphia in New Jersey, and I had once been there for a reading at a synagogue. “Excuse me,” I said gently to her. “Did you just mention Cherry Hill? It’s a lovely place.”

As it turned out, the couple now lived in Fort Lauderdale (the number of Floridians on the cruise surprised me, given that Southern Florida is itself a kind of cruise ship, albeit one slowly sinking), but soon they were talking with me exclusively—the man potbellied, with a chin like a hard-boiled egg; the woman as svelte as if she were one of the many Ukrainian members of the crew—the elderly couple next to them forgotten. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”).

“I don’t want to talk politics,” the man said. “But they’re going to eighty-six Biden and put Michelle in.”

I considered the contradictions of his opening conversational gambit, but decided to play along. “People like Michelle,” I said, testing the waters. The husband sneered, but the wife charitably put forward that the former first lady was “more personable” than Joe Biden. “They’re gonna eighty-six Biden,” the husband repeated. “He can’t put a sentence together.”

After I mentioned that I was a writer—though I presented myself as a writer of teleplays instead of novels and articles such as this one—the husband told me his favorite writer was Ayn Rand. “Ayn Rand, she came here with nothing,” the husband said. “I work with a lot of Cubans, so …” I wondered if I should mention what I usually do to ingratiate myself with Republicans or libertarians: the fact that my finances improved after pass-through corporations were taxed differently under Donald Trump. Instead, I ordered another drink and the couple did the same, and I told him that Rand and I were born in the same city, St. Petersburg/Leningrad, and that my family also came here with nothing. Now the bonding and drinking began in earnest, and several more rounds appeared. Until it all fell apart.

Read: Gary Shteyngart on watching Russian television for five days straight

My new friend, whom I will refer to as Ayn, called out to a buddy of his across the bar, and suddenly a young couple, both covered in tattoos, appeared next to us. “He fucking punked me,” Ayn’s frat-boy-like friend called out as he put his arm around Ayn, while his sizable partner sizzled up to Mrs. Rand. Both of them had a look I have never seen on land—their eyes projecting absence and enmity in equal measure. In the ’90s, I drank with Russian soldiers fresh from Chechnya and wandered the streets of wartime Zagreb, but I have never seen such undisguised hostility toward both me and perhaps the universe at large. I was briefly introduced to this psychopathic pair, but neither of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and the tattooed woman would not even reveal her Christian name to me (she pretended to have the same first name as Mrs. Rand). To impress his tattooed friends, Ayn made fun of the fact that as a television writer, I’d worked on the series Succession (which, it would turn out, practically nobody on the ship had watched), instead of the far more palatable, in his eyes, zombie drama of last year. And then my new friends drifted away from me into an angry private conversation—“He punked me!”—as I ordered another drink for myself, scared of the dead-eyed arrivals whose gaze never registered in the dim wattage of the Schooner Bar, whose terrifying voices and hollow laughs grated like unoiled gears against the crooning of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

But today is a new day for me and my hangover. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods . There’s the AquaDome, where one can find a food hall and an acrobatic sound-and-light aquatic show. Central Park has a premium steak house, a sushi joint, and a used Rolex that can be bought for $8,000 on land here proudly offered at $17,000. There’s the aforementioned Royal Promenade, where I had drunk with the Rands, and where a pair of dueling pianos duel well into the night. There’s Surfside, a kids’ neighborhood full of sugary garbage, which looks out onto the frothy trail that the behemoth leaves behind itself. Thrill Island refers to the collection of tubes that clutter the ass of the ship and offer passengers six waterslides and a surfing simulation. There’s the Hideaway, an adult zone that plays music from a vomit-slathered, Brit-filled Alicante nightclub circa 1996 and proves a big favorite with groups of young Latin American customers. And, most hurtfully, there’s the Suite Neighborhood.

I say hurtfully because as a Suite passenger I should be here, though my particular suite is far from the others. Whereas I am stuck amid the riffraff of Deck 11, this section is on the highborn Decks 16 and 17, and in passing, I peek into the spacious, tall-ceilinged staterooms from the hallway, dazzled by the glint of the waves and sun. For $75,000, one multifloor suite even comes with its own slide between floors, so that a family may enjoy this particular terror in private. There is a quiet splendor to the Suite Neighborhood. I see fewer stickers and signs and drawings than in my own neighborhood—for example, MIKE AND DIANA PROUDLY SERVED U.S. MARINE CORPS RETIRED . No one here needs to announce their branch of service or rank; they are simply Suites, and this is where they belong. Once again, despite my hard work and perseverance, I have been disallowed from the true American elite. Once again, I am “Not our class, dear.” I am reminded of watching The Love Boat on my grandmother’s Zenith, which either was given to her or we found in the trash (I get our many malfunctioning Zeniths confused) and whose tube got so hot, I would put little chunks of government cheese on a thin tissue atop it to give our welfare treat a pleasant, Reagan-era gooeyness. I could not understand English well enough then to catch the nuances of that seafaring program, but I knew that there were differences in the status of the passengers, and that sometimes those differences made them sad. Still, this ship, this plenty—every few steps, there are complimentary nachos or milkshakes or gyros on offer—was the fatty fuel of my childhood dreams. If only I had remained a child.

I walk around the outdoor decks looking for company. There is a middle-aged African American couple who always seem to be asleep in each other’s arms, probably exhausted from the late capitalism they regularly encounter on land. There is far more diversity on this ship than I expected. Many couples are a testament to Loving v. Virginia , and there is a large group of folks whose T-shirts read MELANIN AT SEA / IT’S THE MELANIN FOR ME . I smile when I see them, but then some young kids from the group makes Mr. Washy Washy do a cruel, caricatured “Burger Dance” (today he is in his burger getup), and I think, Well, so much for intersectionality .

At the infinity pool on Deck 17, I spot some elderly women who could be ethnic and from my part of the world, and so I jump in. I am proved correct! Many of them seem to be originally from Queens (“Corona was still great when it was all Italian”), though they are now spread across the tristate area. We bond over the way “Ron-kon-koma” sounds when announced in Penn Station.

“Everyone is here for a different reason,” one of them tells me. She and her ex-husband last sailed together four years ago to prove to themselves that their marriage was truly over. Her 15-year-old son lost his virginity to “an Irish young lady” while their ship was moored in Ravenna, Italy. The gaggle of old-timers competes to tell me their favorite cruising stories and tips. “A guy proposed in Central Park a couple of years ago”—many Royal Caribbean ships apparently have this ridiculous communal area—“and she ran away screaming!” “If you’re diamond-class, you get four drinks for free.” “A different kind of passenger sails out of Bayonne.” (This, perhaps, is racially coded.) “Sometimes, if you tip the bartender $5, your next drink will be free.”

“Everyone’s here for a different reason,” the woman whose marriage ended on a cruise tells me again. “Some people are here for bad reasons—the drinkers and the gamblers. Some people are here for medical reasons.” I have seen more than a few oxygen tanks and at least one woman clearly undergoing very serious chemo. Some T-shirts celebrate good news about a cancer diagnosis. This might be someone’s last cruise or week on Earth. For these women, who have spent months, if not years, at sea, cruising is a ritual as well as a life cycle: first love, last love, marriage, divorce, death.

Read: The last place on Earth any tourist should go

I have talked with these women for so long, tonight I promise myself that after a sad solitary dinner I will not try to seek out company at the bars in the mall or the adult-themed Hideaway. I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. She is singing something violent about “Stuttering Stanley” (a character in a popular horror movie, as I discover with my complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream Internet at Sea) and he’s loudly shouting about “all the money I’ve lost,” presumably at the casino in the bowels of the ship.

So these bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel are angrily inhabiting my deck. As I mewl myself to sleep, I envision a limited series for HBO or some other streamer, a kind of low-rent White Lotus , where several aggressive couples conspire to throw a shy intellectual interloper overboard. I type the scenario into my phone. As I fall asleep, I think of what the woman who recently divorced her husband and whose son became a man through the good offices of the Irish Republic told me while I was hoisting myself out of the infinity pool. “I’m here because I’m an explorer. I’m here because I’m trying something new.” What if I allowed myself to believe in her fantasy?

“YOU REALLY STARTED AT THE TOP,” they tell me. I’m at the Coastal Kitchen for my eggs and corned-beef hash, and the maître d’ has slotted me in between two couples. Fueled by coffee or perhaps intrigued by my relative youth, they strike up a conversation with me. As always, people are shocked that this is my first cruise. They contrast the Icon favorably with all the preceding liners in the Royal Caribbean fleet, usually commenting on the efficiency of the elevators that hurl us from deck to deck (as in many large corporate buildings, the elevators ask you to choose a floor and then direct you to one of many lifts). The couple to my right, from Palo Alto—he refers to his “porn mustache” and calls his wife “my cougar” because she is two years older—tell me they are “Pandemic Pinnacles.”

This is the day that my eyes will be opened. Pinnacles , it is explained to me over translucent cantaloupe, have sailed with Royal Caribbean for 700 ungodly nights. Pandemic Pinnacles took advantage of the two-for-one accrual rate of Pinnacle points during the pandemic, when sailing on a cruise ship was even more ill-advised, to catapult themselves into Pinnacle status.

Because of the importance of the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest cruise liner, more than 200 Pinnacles are on this ship, a startling number, it seems. Mrs. Palo Alto takes out a golden badge that I have seen affixed over many a breast, which reads CROWN AND ANCHOR SOCIETY along with her name. This is the coveted badge of the Pinnacle. “You should hear all the whining in Guest Services,” her husband tells me. Apparently, the Pinnacles who are not also Suites like us are all trying to use their status to get into Coastal Kitchen, our elite restaurant. Even a Pinnacle needs to be a Suite to access this level of corned-beef hash.

“We’re just baby Pinnacles,” Mrs. Palo Alto tells me, describing a kind of internal class struggle among the Pinnacle elite for ever higher status.

And now I understand what the maître d’ was saying to me on the first day of my cruise. He wasn’t saying “ pendejo .” He was saying “Pinnacle.” The dining room was for Pinnacles only, all those older people rolling in like the tide on their motorized scooters.

And now I understand something else: This whole thing is a cult. And like most cults, it can’t help but mirror the endless American fight for status. Like Keith Raniere’s NXIVM, where different-colored sashes were given out to connote rank among Raniere’s branded acolytes, this is an endless competition among Pinnacles, Suites, Diamond-Plusers, and facing-the-mall, no-balcony purple SeaPass Card peasants, not to mention the many distinctions within each category. The more you cruise, the higher your status. No wonder a section of the Royal Promenade is devoted to getting passengers to book their next cruise during the one they should be enjoying now. No wonder desperate Royal Caribbean offers (“FINAL HOURS”) crowded my email account weeks before I set sail. No wonder the ship’s jewelry store, the Royal Bling, is selling a $100,000 golden chalice that will entitle its owner to drink free on Royal Caribbean cruises for life. (One passenger was already gaming out whether her 28-year-old son was young enough to “just about earn out” on the chalice or if that ship had sailed.) No wonder this ship was sold out months before departure , and we had to pay $19,000 for a horrid suite away from the Suite Neighborhood. No wonder the most mythical hero of Royal Caribbean lore is someone named Super Mario, who has cruised so often, he now has his own working desk on many ships. This whole experience is part cult, part nautical pyramid scheme.

From the June 2014 issue: Ship of wonks

“The toilets are amazing,” the Palo Altos are telling me. “One flush and you’re done.” “They don’t understand how energy-efficient these ships are,” the husband of the other couple is telling me. “They got the LNG”—liquefied natural gas, which is supposed to make the Icon a boon to the environment (a concept widely disputed and sometimes ridiculed by environmentalists).

But I’m thinking along a different line of attack as I spear my last pallid slice of melon. For my streaming limited series, a Pinnacle would have to get killed by either an outright peasant or a Suite without an ocean view. I tell my breakfast companions my idea.

“Oh, for sure a Pinnacle would have to be killed,” Mr. Palo Alto, the Pandemic Pinnacle, says, touching his porn mustache thoughtfully as his wife nods.

“THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S your time, buddy!” Hubert, my fun-loving Panamanian cabin attendant, shouts as I step out of my suite in a robe. “Take it easy, buddy!”

I have come up with a new dressing strategy. Instead of trying to impress with my choice of T-shirts, I have decided to start wearing a robe, as one does at a resort property on land, with a proper spa and hammam. The response among my fellow cruisers has been ecstatic. “Look at you in the robe!” Mr. Rand cries out as we pass each other by the Thrill Island aqua park. “You’re living the cruise life! You know, you really drank me under the table that night.” I laugh as we part ways, but my soul cries out, Please spend more time with me, Mr. and Mrs. Rand; I so need the company .

In my white robe, I am a stately presence, a refugee from a better limited series, a one-man crossover episode. (Only Suites are granted these robes to begin with.) Today, I will try many of the activities these ships have on offer to provide their clientele with a sense of never-ceasing motion. Because I am already at Thrill Island, I decide to climb the staircase to what looks like a mast on an old-fashioned ship (terrified, because I am afraid of heights) to try a ride called “Storm Chasers,” which is part of the “Category 6” water park, named in honor of one of the storms that may someday do away with the Port of Miami entirely. Storm Chasers consists of falling from the “mast” down a long, twisting neon tube filled with water, like being the camera inside your own colonoscopy, as you hold on to the handles of a mat, hoping not to die. The tube then flops you down headfirst into a trough of water, a Royal Caribbean baptism. It both knocks my breath out and makes me sad.

In keeping with the aquatic theme, I attend a show at the AquaDome. To the sound of “Live and Let Die,” a man in a harness gyrates to and fro in the sultry air. I saw something very similar in the back rooms of the famed Berghain club in early-aughts Berlin. Soon another harnessed man is gyrating next to the first. Ja , I think to myself, I know how this ends. Now will come the fisting , natürlich . But the show soon devolves into the usual Marvel-film-grade nonsense, with too much light and sound signifying nichts . If any fisting is happening, it is probably in the Suite Neighborhood, inside a cabin marked with an upside-down pineapple, which I understand means a couple are ready to swing, and I will see none of it.

I go to the ice show, which is a kind of homage—if that’s possible—to the periodic table, done with the style and pomp and masterful precision that would please the likes of Kim Jong Un, if only he could afford Royal Caribbean talent. At one point, the dancers skate to the theme song of Succession . “See that!” I want to say to my fellow Suites—at “cultural” events, we have a special section reserved for us away from the commoners—“ Succession ! It’s even better than the zombie show! Open your minds!”

Finally, I visit a comedy revue in an enormous and too brightly lit version of an “intimate,” per Royal Caribbean literature, “Manhattan comedy club.” Many of the jokes are about the cruising life. “I’ve lived on ships for 20 years,” one of the middle-aged comedians says. “I can only see so many Filipino homosexuals dressed as a taco.” He pauses while the audience laughs. “I am so fired tonight,” he says. He segues into a Trump impression and then Biden falling asleep at the microphone, which gets the most laughs. “Anyone here from Fort Leonard Wood?” another comedian asks. Half the crowd seems to cheer. As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.

As a coddled passenger with a suite, I feel like I am starting to understand what it means to have a rank and be constantly reminded of it. There are many espresso makers , I think as I look across the expanse of my officer-grade quarters before closing my eyes, but this one is mine .

A shocking sight greets me beyond the pools of Deck 17 as I saunter over to the Coastal Kitchen for my morning intake of slightly sour Americanos. A tiny city beneath a series of perfectly pressed green mountains. Land! We have docked for a brief respite in Basseterre, the capital of St. Kitts and Nevis. I wolf down my egg scramble to be one of the first passengers off the ship. Once past the gangway, I barely refrain from kissing the ground. I rush into the sights and sounds of this scruffy island city, sampling incredible conch curry and buckets of non-Starbucks coffee. How wonderful it is to be where God intended humans to be: on land. After all, I am neither a fish nor a mall rat. This is my natural environment. Basseterre may not be Havana, but there are signs of human ingenuity and desire everywhere you look. The Black Table Grill Has been Relocated to Soho Village, Market Street, Directly Behind of, Gary’s Fruits and Flower Shop. Signed. THE PORK MAN reads a sign stuck to a wall. Now, that is how you write a sign. A real sign, not the come-ons for overpriced Rolexes that blink across the screens of the Royal Promenade.

“Hey, tie your shoestring!” a pair of laughing ladies shout to me across the street.

“Thank you!” I shout back. Shoestring! “Thank you very much.”

A man in Independence Square Park comes by and asks if I want to play with his monkey. I haven’t heard that pickup line since the Penn Station of the 1980s. But then he pulls a real monkey out of a bag. The monkey is wearing a diaper and looks insane. Wonderful , I think, just wonderful! There is so much life here. I email my editor asking if I can remain on St. Kitts and allow the Icon to sail off into the horizon without me. I have even priced a flight home at less than $300, and I have enough material from the first four days on the cruise to write the entire story. “It would be funny …” my editor replies. “Now get on the boat.”

As I slink back to the ship after my brief jailbreak, the locals stand under umbrellas to gaze at and photograph the boat that towers over their small capital city. The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock.

“We hear about all the waterslides,” a sweet young server in one of the cafés told me. “We wish we could go on the ship, but we have to work.”

“I want to stay on your island,” I replied. “I love it here.”

But she didn’t understand how I could possibly mean that.

“WASHY, WASHY, so you don’t get stinky, stinky!” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy.

Meanwhile, I have found a new watering hole for myself, the Swim & Tonic, the biggest swim-up bar on any cruise ship in the world. Drinking next to full-size, nearly naked Americans takes away one’s own self-consciousness. The men have curvaceous mom bodies. The women are equally un-shy about their sprawling physiques.

Today I’ve befriended a bald man with many children who tells me that all of the little trinkets that Royal Caribbean has left us in our staterooms and suites are worth a fortune on eBay. “Eighty dollars for the water bottle, 60 for the lanyard,” the man says. “This is a cult.”

“Tell me about it,” I say. There is, however, a clientele for whom this cruise makes perfect sense. For a large middle-class family (he works in “supply chains”), seven days in a lower-tier cabin—which starts at $1,800 a person—allow the parents to drop off their children in Surfside, where I imagine many young Filipina crew members will take care of them, while the parents are free to get drunk at a swim-up bar and maybe even get intimate in their cabin. Cruise ships have become, for a certain kind of hardworking family, a form of subsidized child care.

There is another man I would like to befriend at the Swim & Tonic, a tall, bald fellow who is perpetually inebriated and who wears a necklace studded with little rubber duckies in sunglasses, which, I am told, is a sort of secret handshake for cruise aficionados. Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.

I usually tan very evenly, but something about the discombobulation of life at sea makes me forget the regular application of sunscreen. As I walk down the streets of Charlotte Amalie in my fluorescent Icon of the Seas cap, an old Rastafarian stares me down. “Redneck,” he hisses.

“No,” I want to tell him, as I bring a hand up to my red neck, “that’s not who I am at all. On my island, Mannahatta, as Whitman would have it, I am an interesting person living within an engaging artistic milieu. I do not wish to use the Caribbean as a dumping ground for the cruise-ship industry. I love the work of Derek Walcott. You don’t understand. I am not a redneck. And if I am, they did this to me.” They meaning Royal Caribbean? Its passengers? The Rands?

“They did this to me!”

Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do. Her face was as tight as a 19-year-old’s, she had so much surgery.” With those words, and beneath a cloudy sky, humidity shrouding our weathered faces and red necks, we set sail once again, hopefully in the direction of home.

THERE ARE BARELY 48 HOURS LEFT to the cruise, and the Icon of the Seas’ passengers are salty. They know how to work the elevators. They know the Washy Washy song by heart. They understand that the chicken gyro at “Feta Mediterranean,” in the AquaDome Market, is the least problematic form of chicken on the ship.

The passengers have shed their INAUGURAL CRUISE T-shirts and are now starting to evince political opinions. There are caps pledging to make America great again and T-shirts that celebrate words sometimes attributed to Patrick Henry: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.” With their preponderance of FAMILY FLAG FAITH FRIENDS FIREARMS T-shirts, the tables by the crepe station sometimes resemble the Capitol Rotunda on January 6. The Real Anthony Fauci , by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., appears to be a popular form of literature, especially among young men with very complicated versions of the American flag on their T-shirts. Other opinions blend the personal and the political. “Someone needs to kill Washy guy, right?” a well-dressed man in the elevator tells me, his gray eyes radiating nothing. “Just beat him to death. Am I right?” I overhear the male member of a young couple whisper, “There goes that freak” as I saunter by in my white spa robe, and I decide to retire it for the rest of the cruise.

I visit the Royal Bling to see up close the $100,000 golden chalice that entitles you to free drinks on Royal Caribbean forever. The pleasant Serbian saleslady explains that the chalice is actually gold-plated and covered in white zirconia instead of diamonds, as it would otherwise cost $1 million. “If you already have everything,” she explains, “this is one more thing you can get.”

I believe that anyone who works for Royal Caribbean should be entitled to immediate American citizenship. They already speak English better than most of the passengers and, per the Serbian lady’s sales pitch above, better understand what America is as well. Crew members like my Panamanian cabin attendant seem to work 24 hours a day. A waiter from New Delhi tells me that his contract is six months and three weeks long. After a cruise ends, he says, “in a few hours, we start again for the next cruise.” At the end of the half a year at sea, he is allowed a two-to-three-month stay at home with his family. As of 2019, the median income for crew members was somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000, according to a major business publication. Royal Caribbean would not share the current median salary for its crew members, but I am certain that it amounts to a fraction of the cost of a Royal Bling gold-plated, zirconia-studded chalice.

And because most of the Icon’s hyper-sanitized spaces are just a frittata away from being a Delta lounge, one forgets that there are actual sailors on this ship, charged with the herculean task of docking it in port. “Having driven 100,000-ton aircraft carriers throughout my career,” retired Admiral James G. Stavridis, the former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, writes to me, “I’m not sure I would even know where to begin with trying to control a sea monster like this one nearly three times the size.” (I first met Stavridis while touring Army bases in Germany more than a decade ago.)

Today, I decide to head to the hot tub near Swim & Tonic, where some of the ship’s drunkest reprobates seem to gather (the other tubs are filled with families and couples). The talk here, like everywhere else on the ship, concerns football, a sport about which I know nothing. It is apparent that four teams have recently competed in some kind of finals for the year, and that two of them will now face off in the championship. Often when people on the Icon speak, I will try to repeat the last thing they said with a laugh or a nod of disbelief. “Yes, 20-yard line! Ha!” “Oh my God, of course, scrimmage.”

Soon we are joined in the hot tub by the late-middle-age drunk guy with the duck necklace. He is wearing a bucket hat with the legend HAWKEYES , which, I soon gather, is yet another football team. “All right, who turned me in?” Duck Necklace says as he plops into the tub beside us. “I get a call in the morning,” he says. “It’s security. Can you come down to the dining room by 10 a.m.? You need to stay away from the members of this religious family.” Apparently, the gregarious Duck Necklace had photobombed the wrong people. There are several families who present as evangelical Christians or practicing Muslims on the ship. One man, evidently, was not happy that Duck Necklace had made contact with his relatives. “It’s because of religious stuff; he was offended. I put my arm around 20 people a day.”

Everyone laughs. “They asked me three times if I needed medication,” he says of the security people who apparently interrogated him in full view of others having breakfast.

Another hot-tub denizen suggests that he should have asked for fentanyl. After a few more drinks, Duck Necklace begins to muse about what it would be like to fall off the ship. “I’m 62 and I’m ready to go,” he says. “I just don’t want a shark to eat me. I’m a huge God guy. I’m a Bible guy. There’s some Mayan theory squaring science stuff with religion. There is so much more to life on Earth.” We all nod into our Red Stripes.

“I never get off the ship when we dock,” he says. He tells us he lost $6,000 in the casino the other day. Later, I look him up, and it appears that on land, he’s a financial adviser in a crisp gray suit, probably a pillar of his North Chicago community.

THE OCEAN IS TEEMING with fascinating life, but on the surface it has little to teach us. The waves come and go. The horizon remains ever far away.

I am constantly told by my fellow passengers that “everybody here has a story.” Yes, I want to reply, but everybody everywhere has a story. You, the reader of this essay, have a story, and yet you’re not inclined to jump on a cruise ship and, like Duck Necklace, tell your story to others at great pitch and volume. Maybe what they’re saying is that everybody on this ship wants to have a bigger, more coherent, more interesting story than the one they’ve been given. Maybe that’s why there’s so much signage on the doors around me attesting to marriages spent on the sea. Maybe that’s why the Royal Caribbean newsletter slipped under my door tells me that “this isn’t a vacation day spent—it’s bragging rights earned.” Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely.

Today is a big day for Icon passengers. Today the ship docks at Royal Caribbean’s own Bahamian island, the Perfect Day at CocoCay. (This appears to be the actual name of the island.) A comedian at the nightclub opined on what his perfect day at CocoCay would look like—receiving oral sex while learning that his ex-wife had been killed in a car crash (big laughter). But the reality of the island is far less humorous than that.

One of the ethnic tristate ladies in the infinity pool told me that she loved CocoCay because it had exactly the same things that could be found on the ship itself. This proves to be correct. It is like the Icon, but with sand. The same tired burgers, the same colorful tubes conveying children and water from Point A to B. The same swim-up bar at its Hideaway ($140 for admittance, no children allowed; Royal Caribbean must be printing money off its clientele). “There was almost a fight at The Wizard of Oz ,” I overhear an elderly woman tell her companion on a chaise lounge. Apparently one of the passengers began recording Royal Caribbean’s intellectual property and “three guys came after him.”

I walk down a pathway to the center of the island, where a sign reads DO NOT ENTER: YOU HAVE REACHED THE BOUNDARY OF ADVENTURE . I hear an animal scampering in the bushes. A Royal Caribbean worker in an enormous golf cart soon chases me down and takes me back to the Hideaway, where I run into Mrs. Rand in a bikini. She becomes livid telling me about an altercation she had the other day with a woman over a towel and a deck chair. We Suites have special towel privileges; we do not have to hand over our SeaPass Card to score a towel. But the Rands are not Suites. “People are so entitled here,” Mrs. Rand says. “It’s like the airport with all its classes.” “You see,” I want to say, “this is where your husband’s love of Ayn Rand runs into the cruelties and arbitrary indignities of unbridled capitalism.” Instead we make plans to meet for a final drink in the Schooner Bar tonight (the Rands will stand me up).

Back on the ship, I try to do laps, but the pool (the largest on any cruise ship, naturally) is fully trashed with the detritus of American life: candy wrappers, a slowly dissolving tortilla chip, napkins. I take an extra-long shower in my suite, then walk around the perimeter of the ship on a kind of exercise track, past all the alluring lifeboats in their yellow-and-white livery. Maybe there is a dystopian angle to the HBO series that I will surely end up pitching, one with shades of WALL-E or Snowpiercer . In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean–like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon features a new technology that converts passengers’ poop into enough energy to power the waterslides . In the series, this shitty technology would be greatly expanded.) A very young woman (18? 19?), smart and lonely, who has only known life on the ship, walks along the same track as I do now, contemplating jumping off into the surf left by its wake. I picture reusing Duck Necklace’s words in the opening shot of the pilot. The girl is walking around the track, her eyes on the horizon; maybe she’s highborn—a Suite—and we hear the voice-over: “I’m 19 and I’m ready to go. I just don’t want a shark to eat me.”

Before the cruise is finished, I talk to Mr. Washy Washy, or Nielbert of the Philippines. He is a sweet, gentle man, and I thank him for the earworm of a song he has given me and for keeping us safe from the dreaded norovirus. “This is very important to me, getting people to wash their hands,” he tells me in his burger getup. He has dreams, as an artist and a performer, but they are limited in scope. One day he wants to dress up as a piece of bacon for the morning shift.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC (the Icon of the Seas is five times as large as that doomed vessel) at least offered its passengers an exciting ending to their cruise, but when I wake up on the eighth day, all I see are the gray ghosts that populate Miami’s condo skyline. Throughout my voyage, my writer friends wrote in to commiserate with me. Sloane Crosley, who once covered a three-day spa mini-cruise for Vogue , tells me she felt “so very alone … I found it very untethering.” Gideon Lewis-Kraus writes in an Instagram comment: “When Gary is done I think it’s time this genre was taken out back and shot.” And he is right. To badly paraphrase Adorno: After this, no more cruise stories. It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship. Writers typically have difficult childhoods, and it is cruel to remind them of the inherent loneliness that drove them to writing in the first place. It is also unseemly to write about the kind of people who go on cruises. Our country does not provide the education and upbringing that allow its citizens an interior life. For the creative class to point fingers at the large, breasty gentlemen adrift in tortilla-chip-laden pools of water is to gather a sour harvest of low-hanging fruit.

A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further. What I found shocked me. My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. It had been there all along. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained.

This article appears in the May 2024 print edition with the headline “A Meatball at Sea.” When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.

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WEATHER ALERT

A rip current statement in effect for Coastal Broward and Coastal Miami Dade Regions

Coast guard crews searching for man who fell from cruise ship.

Chris Gothner , Digital Journalist

MIAMI – U.S. Coast Guard crews from Miami are aiding in the search for a man who went overboard from a South Florida-based cruise ship Thursday morning.

It happened on Royal Caribbean’s Liberty of the Seas, which, according to CruiseMapper , was on a four-day roundtrip voyage from Port Everglades.

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The 20-year-old fell from the ship about 57 miles off the coast of Great Inagua island in the Bahamas.

Authorities haven’t publicly identified the man or said whether he was a passenger or crew member.

Coast Guard Cutter Seneca and crews from Coast Guard Air Station Miami are leading the search, according to the agency.

#Breaking @USCG crews are searching for a 20-year-old man who went overboard from the Liberty of the Seas cruise ship 57 miles from Great Inagua this morning. USCG Cutter Seneca and Air Station Miami HC-144 crews are conducting the search. #USCG #SAR pic.twitter.com/zZPpKOdyCn — USCGSoutheast (@USCGSoutheast) April 4, 2024

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About the Author

Chris gothner.

Chris Gothner joined the Local 10 News team in 2022 as a Digital Journalist.

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