celebrity beyond cruise ship interior

Interior view: Celebrity Cruises’ Celebrity Beyond

The cruise line has collaborated with high-profile designers on its new Edge-class ship

Celebrity Cruises

Celebrity Cruises has collaborated with high-profile designers to ensure its new Edge-class ship is larger and more luxurious than her sisters

By Elly Yates-Roberts | 20 June 2022

Space is a key concept onboard Celebrity Cruises’ latest Edge-class ship, Celebrity Beyond, which was delivered in April 2022.  

Building on the design concepts of its sister ships, Celebrity worked with Tom Wright, lead architect of UK-based firm WKK, to lengthen the ship by 20 metres and increase the height to 17 decks to provide extra room for outdoor spaces. 

“With Celebrity Beyond, we saw an opportunity to take the extraordinary features of Celebrity Edge – like the focus on the connection with the ocean and the grand spaces – and really amplify them,” said Richard Fain, chairman of Royal Caribbean Group, parent company of Celebrity Cruises. “We focused on providing more openness, height and spaciousness throughout the ship’s most popular spaces. The end result is a next-generation ship that embodies the intersection of architecture and design.” 

The Sunset Bar is among the outdoor areas that have been enhanced. Created by Wright and interior designer Nate Berkus, the venue is nearly twice as large as previous iterations, with two open-air decks, a pergola-covered entrance and cascading terraces with ocean views at the aft of the ship.  

The ship also features the Rooftop Garden, which has been reimagined by British designer Kelly Hoppen. The venue is 40 per cent larger than on Celebrity Edge and Celebrity Apex, allowing space for additional seating, new private nooks and the extended Rooftop Grill. The highlight of this area is two ‘floating pools’ cantilevered six-and-a-half feet over the side of the ship, created by Wright.  

Indoor spaces have also been expanded. The Grand Plaza, which spans three decks at the centre of the ship, is larger than on the first two Edge-class vessels. French design firm Jouin Manku took advantage of the space to include a circular Martini Bar and a chandelier centrepiece made up of hundreds of LED lights. 

Jouin Manku was also involved in the creation of Michelin-starred chef Daniel Boulud’s first-ever restaurant at sea. Le Voyage will feature intimate seating cocoons, luminous portals highlighting the themes of journey and travel, and graphically lit “glass flutes”.  

Increasing the onboard space has also provided Celebrity with new wellness opportunities. New to Celebrity Beyond are the AquaClass SkySuites, which offer guests uninterrupted views from floor-to-ceiling windows and private verandas, as well as luxurious bedding and in-room menus for pillows and fitness activities. At the centre of the ship’s wellness programme is the Sea Thermal Suite, a collection of eight distinct spaces for relaxing before or after spa treatments or fitness classes. They include the Mist Aroma Steam and Desert Infrared Sauna rooms, the Rainfall Water Therapy room, the Crystalarium, the Hamman Turkish Bath, and the Float Zen Zone. 

Onboard entertainment venues have not been overlooked. Taking advantage of the greater length and height, Celebrity has included an onboard theatre with a 110-foot curved 4K LED screen with moving panels and floor projection technology. Here, guests can enjoy three art-focused productions. These include Arte, a combination of dance, acrobatics and visual effects to music that will highlight the ‘Peace Makers’ sculpture by Brazilian artist Rubem Robierb that is showcased onboard, and Elements, which focuses on the five elements of air, water, earth, fire and ether. The latter will include ‘dancing’ air sculptures by New York-based artist Daniel Wurtwel which will be created by blowing air into large sheets of flowing fabric.  

“It has been such an honour to collaborate with some of the best live show creative minds to develop world-class performances and experiences at every turn throughout the ship,” said Lisa Lehr, vice president of entertainment at Celebrity Cruises. “Beyond delivers an onboard entertainment experience that our guests will be talking about long after they have returned home.” 

This article was first published in the 2022 issue of  Cruise & Ferry Interiors . All information was correct at the time of printing, but may since have changed. 

Subscribe to Cruise & Ferry Interiors for FREE  here  to get the next issue delivered directly to your inbox or your door.

Tags: Celebrity Cruises     Celebrity Beyond     Royal Caribbean Group     WKK

Elly Yates-Roberts

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Godmother of Celebrity Beyond

Simone Biles

Simone Biles, 19-time World Champion and seven-time Olympic Medalist has added another very special title to her decorated career – godmother for Celebrity Beyond℠. In her role as Godmother, Biles named Celebrity Beyond – the gold standard ship and most luxurious vessel in the Celebrity fleet – at the official ceremony in Fort Lauderdale on November 4, 2022.

Captain Kate McCue Takes the Helm of our Most Revolutionary Ship Yet

From the edge to beyond.

A trailblazing ship gets a trailblazing leader. Captain Kate McCue, America’s first female cruise ship captain, takes the helm of Celebrity Beyond SM , the third ship in our groundbreaking Edge® Series. The dynamic and decorated captain leads us into a new era of luxury travel on a ship brought to life by a dream team of icons, including multi-award-winning designer Kelly Hoppen, CBE, as well as celebrated designer Nate Berkus, Global Culinary Ambassador chef Daniel Boulud, and Wellbeing Advisor Gwyneth Paltrow.

Learn More About Beyond

Welcome to a place where you can experience all the things you’ve been missing for so long. Only now, those things are even better than you’ve imagined. This is a place where the possibilities are as endless as the views. where you can disconnect entirely while you reconnect with each other-and the world. This place is Celebrity Beyond℠.

The Third ship in our revolutionary Edge® Series takes our innovative outward-facing design further than ever, creating an even closer connection between you, the sea, and every exciting place on the horizon. Unwind in expanded open-air spaces. Savor fine dining that rivals anything you’d find on land. And discover even more ways to relax and renew.

Celebrity Beyond is now equipped with Starlink internet service by SpaceX, bringing you high speed connectivity. Enjoy faster, more reliable internet onboard.

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Celebrity Beyond: ULTIMATE Cruise Review

What a ship!! I just got back from an amazing 7 day Caribbean cruise (January 23rd) on the brand new Celebrity Beyond with Celebrity Cruises . We had ports of call in the Bahamas, Costa Maya, Cozumel and the Cayman Islands. I love, love, love, love this ship. I had such a wonderful and relaxing time. So to celebrate this love I wrote an in depth review of every aspect of the cruise. I hope it makes your travel research just a bit easier. Maybe even inspire you to take this cruise. (I can be quite inspirational.) So keep scrolling for the ultimate cruise review of the Celebrity Beyond cruise ship.

As always, any recommendations from Pragmatic Travelers are based on my own experiences and pictures are only from my cell phone.

Need cruise shore excursion ideas? Check out our budget friendly excursions with the beautiful beaches in Costa Maya, a self guided walking tour of  Nassau and the very best beach on Grand Cayman Island.   Need a beach club in Cozumel, check out our review of Nachi Cocom . Need help packing? 

Table of Contents

Embarkation and Disembarkation

This couldn’t have been easier. For embarkation, we had to book a set check in time. As soon as we arrived, we dropped off our bags. (Print your luggage tags ahead of time.) Then went straight in for the check in process. Check in was quick with security/looking over the check in barcode on the app/our passports. Then we were onboard. This took less then 10 minutes. INCREDIBLE. Our stateroom keys were on the door of our room which was ready at 12:40! Disembarkation was just as easy. We kept our bags with us and just walked off the ship. This took less then 10 minutes as well. So easy, smooth and quick!

The Celebrity Beyond has one massive pool, two hot tubs overlooking the pool and two plunge pools. The Pool Deck and surrounding decks above it are absolutely gorgeous with beautiful artistic features and so much seating. You’ve got lounge chairs, couches, seats, stools. There are loungers on the pool deck, above the deck, all around the pool deck. You’ve got every kind of seat possible. There is no need to run out and claim your chair early. The hot tub in the evening was usually empty and had stunning views of the pool deck. I mean look at that above picture!

The Ship Itself

Just have to say how beautiful this ship is. There is interesting and beautiful artwork everywhere from the rooftop garden to the Grand Plaza. There are so many small details and thoughtful design features that it feels more like a luxury beach resort rather a cruise. Seriously, it is a beautiful ship.

Main Dining Restaurants

Unlike the large banquet halls on other cruise ships, the Celebrity Beyond breaks it down into four different restaurants. Each restaurant has it’s own theme with exclusive dishes as well as Celebrity classics (same every day) and Celebrity signatures (change each day.) Restaurants include Normandie, Tuscan, Cyprus and Cosmopolitan. The food was delicious, varied, creative and did I mention DELICIOUS. Each course was well cooked, fresh, well thought out and well spiced. (Lots of well!) Service was friendly and excellent. Some of my favorite dishes were from Normandie such as Beef Tenderloin En Croute and Marmite Diepoise. I also loved the small dips that came with the bread service. We were never required to sit with other people. The only thing I didn’t love was the sit down breakfast. The food and service was fine but found the buffet to be better.

Interior Stateroom

We stayed in an interior stateroom on deck 10 in room 163. This room was incredibly clean, with red touches amongst muted colors. The bathroom and, really, the room itself was huge with so much storage. You could control the lighting, AC and tv with the app. I liked the different lighting features that stimulate sunset and sunrise. I didn’t miss having a window, at all. The bed and pillows were so comfortable. Some of the best we have ever slept on. I really loved this room and our stateroom attendant. She decorated our room for our anniversary. I would definitely stay in the room again. I loved it!

All Included Package

We elected to purchase the all included package for this cruise. This included the classic drinks package, basic WIFI and gratuities. This package worked perfectly for us as we do enjoy alcohol on our trips. The basic drinks package covers $10 a drink which was easy to find on the ship. It also covered the first $10.00 of more expensive cocktails so you would just have to pay the remainder and the tip of the remainder. This package also covered premium coffee, bottled water, juice, soda, etc. We did some basic math and needed over 2 drinks each per day for it to be worth it which is easy to rack up on a sunny holiday. No regrets at all with this. We got our moneys worth between coffee and cocktails. The basic WIFI was way better then I expected. I had no problem sending text messages and receiving emails. It was a bit slow to search the web. It worked but just required patience. If you are someone who enjoys a few cocktails on a trip and just wants access to texting, the all included package might be for you!

Drinks and Cocktails

You are spoilt for choice with drink options on Celebrity Beyond . Every where you turn there is a bar but luckily this ship doesn’t attract a big party scene. It is definitely for someone who enjoys a quiet vacation with a great cocktail in hand. The bartenders are incredibly talented and have a wide knowledge of cocktail recipes. They were quick to make cocktails that matched the classic beverage limit. The drinks were tasty, refreshing, consistent with a wide range of choice. Check out the list below for my favorite drinks at my favorite bars:

• Favorite cocktail: Dill-icious. (Included in classic drinks)
• Favorite cocktail: French Caribbean (blended with blackberry liquor) (Included in classic drinks)
• Favorite cocktails: Aviation, Martinez and Manhattan (Required a few dollars more since not in classic drinks package)
• Favorite cocktail : Espresso Martini made with Mr. Black espresso liquor.

Speaking of coffee, my favorite place to grab a coffee was on the 4th deck at Cafe Al Bacio. I particularly loved the Iced Americanos. Word of warning for my fellow coffee fiends: sometimes they make espresso ahead of time and it is just sitting out on the counter. So you have to figure out the right coffee order to get a freshly made espresso. Didn’t love having to do this but not a huge deal. Also coffees are around $5.00 each or are included in drinks packages.

Oceanview Café

I was pretty blown away by the buffet on Celebrity Beyond . I usually avoid a buffet at all costs; not the case on the Beyond. I preferred eating at the buffet for breakfast. The food was fresh and had so much variety. In particular, the scrambled eggs and poached eggs were phenomenal. Also don’t skip the cinnamon rolls, banana bread and sticky buns…OMG so good. The lunch wasn’t as good as the breakfast but still had so much to choose from with rotating dishes. I loved the butter chicken and salad bar.

I didn’t eat at Eden or have a drink but I loved how beautiful it was. More importantly, I loved the ample seating and quiet outdoor seating areas away from everyone else.

Excursions/Ports of Call

We didn’t participate in any Celebrity organized shore excursions except for one. We did the behind the scenes tour of the ship. This was fascinating and well worth the money. We were able to visit the bridge, go into the engine room and learn about the kitchens/laundry services. Absolutely worth every penny!

I thoughts the ports we stopped at were great! I don’t love the Bahamas but did enjoy the stops in Mexico and the Cayman Islands.

Check out our shore excursion guides: for sunny and relaxed Costa Maya, beach club vibes in Cozumel , a historical walking tour in Nassau and the best beach ever on the Cayman Islands .

SEA Thermal Suite

While we didn’t have any specific Spa treatments, we did book a day pass to the SEA Thermal Suite for $82.00 each. It lasted a full 24 hours and was well worth the price. We spent hours in this quiet and relaxing area. The thermal suite includes a Turkish bath, mist room, rain therapy, floating swings, and more. The best part of the suite were the heated lounge chairs with great views of the front of the boat. A very restorative experience.

Entertainment

You will not be bored on the Celebrity Beyond . Everyday is filled with your typical cruise activities like trivia. Since the ship is filled with art, there are several art activities you can enjoy as well. The boat was filled with live music ranging from acoustic guitarists to cello players. While I don’t love the big shows on a cruise, I was impressed with the technology. There is a huge screen behind the performers that just adds to the overall immersion of the show.

The gym is large and has the latest in gym equipment but my favorite was the jogging track. The gorgeous views inspired several laps in the morning before breakfast. The track is the green path in the picture above.

• The artwork on the ship and the overall beauty of it. Feels so high end.
• The food and cocktails were fantastic
• The jogging track
• Ample seating to enjoy the pool and/or ocean views.
• Service. Everyone was so friendly and accommodating.
• The breakfast at the sit down restaurant was just ok.
• Coffee was hit or miss.
• Didn’t love stopping at the Bahamas.

Final Thoughts

I loved this cruise and would happily go on it again. I stand by every word in this complete and ultimate review of the Celebrity Beyond . It was a wonderful and relaxing experience. It is definitely the type of cruise for someone who isn’t a huge partier. My only word of advice is the rooms get expensive fast. So if you are trying to stick to some kind of a budget don’t worry about the interior stateroom it was perfect. Do this cruise. Book it.

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Accommodations

Celebrity Beyond offers the widest range of staterooms and suites in our fleet.

Explore 32 distinct restaurants, bars, and lounges that will awaken all your senses.

Things To Do

Our onboard activities and entertainment will make your vacation an unforgettable adventure.

Explore Beyond Deck Plans

Locate your stateroom, and our world-class amenities and venues throughout the ship.

Exclusive to guests of The Retreat, including a private restaurant, sundeck, lounge & more.

Spa & Fitness

Whether you want to clear your mind, fine-tune your body, reinvigorate your spirit—or all of the above—The Spa and Fitness Center is an indulgent escape where you can do it all.

Accessibility

Every effort is taken to deliver easy ship access and an unrivaled cruise vacation for our guests.

Godmother of Celebrity Beyond

Simone Biles

Simone Biles, 19-time World Champion and seven-time Olympic Medalist has added another very special title to her decorated career – godmother for Celebrity Beyond℠. In her role as Godmother, Biles named Celebrity Beyond – the gold standard ship and most luxurious vessel in the Celebrity fleet – at the official ceremony in Fort Lauderdale on November 4, 2022.

Captain Kate McCue Takes the Helm of our Most Revolutionary Ship Yet

From the edge to beyond.

A trailblazing ship gets a trailblazing leader. Captain Kate McCue, America’s first female cruise ship captain, takes the helm of Celebrity Beyond℠, the third ship in our groundbreaking Edge® Series. The dynamic and decorated captain leads us into a new era of luxury travel on a ship brought to life by a dream team of icons, including multi-award-winning designer Kelly Hoppen, CBE, as well as celebrated designer Nate Berkus, and Global Culinary Ambassador chef Daniel Boulud.

Now Sailing to Perfect Day at CocoCay

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Welcome to a place where you can experience all the things you’ve been missing for so long. Only now, those things are even better than you’ve imagined. This is a place where the possibilities are as endless as the views. where you can disconnect entirely while you reconnect with each other-and the world. This place is Celebrity Beyond℠.

The Third ship in our revolutionary Edge® Series takes our innovative outward-facing design further than ever, creating an even closer connection between you, the sea, and every exciting place on the horizon. Unwind in expanded open-air spaces. Savor fine dining that rivals anything you’d find on land. And discover even more ways to relax and renew.

Celebrity Beyond is sailing with Starlink - the world’s most advanced broadband satellite internet - to bring you high-speed connectivity for a better onboard experience.

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Celebrity Cruises Announces New Brand Positioning

• April 8, 2024

Celebrity Cruises is introducing “Nothing Comes Close,” the company’s new brand positioning and brand identity, set to launch globally on April 8.

“Nothing Comes Close” will be the focus of the cruise line’s brand positioning from media and advertising, to travel advisors and onboard.

“Our guests tell us that Celebrity vacations are unparalleled. From the thoughtfulness of our crew to the excitement of entertainment and activities, guests tell us that ‘Nothing Comes Close’ to the way we make them feel,” said Laura Hodges Bethge, president of Celebrity Cruises. “Our new brand position packages this feeling in a memorable and compelling way.”

Employing a technique coined “True Eye View”, Celebrity’s new visual approach captures the essence of a Celebrity vacation from the perspective of guests.

“This isn’t just a brand campaign. This is who we are. It embodies the spirit of what sets a Celebrity Cruises vacation apart,” said Michael Scheiner, senior vice president and chief marketing officer, Celebrity Cruises. “The creative direction captures and conveys the elevated emotions and transformative experiences that guests enjoy from the moment they step onboard Celebrity Cruises, where every detail is elevated beyond their expectations.”

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Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

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Updated at 2:44 p.m. ET on April 6, 2024.

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MY FIRST GLIMPSE of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea, amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my optic nerve to try again.

The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.

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“Author embarks on their first cruise-ship voyage” has been a staple of American essay writing for almost three decades, beginning with David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which was first published in 1996 under the title “Shipping Out.” Since then, many admirable writers have widened and diversified the genre. Usually the essayist commissioned to take to the sea is in their first or second flush of youth and is ready to sharpen their wit against the hull of the offending vessel. I am 51, old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist, and mostly what I do in both life and prose is shrug while muttering to my imaginary dachshund, “This too shall pass.” But the Icon of the Seas will not countenance a shrug. The Icon of the Seas is the Linda Loman of cruise ships, exclaiming that attention must be paid. And here I am in late January with my one piece of luggage and useless gray winter jacket and passport, zipping through the Port of Miami en route to the gangway that will separate me from the bulk of North America for more than seven days, ready to pay it in full.

The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused. It turns out that the aft is the stern of the ship, or, for those of us who don’t know what a stern or an aft are, its ass. The nose of the ship, responsible for separating the waves before it, is also called a bow, and is marked for passengers as the FWD , or forward. The part of the contemporary sailing vessel where the malls are clustered is called the midship. I trust that you have enjoyed this nautical lesson.

I ascend via elevator to my suite on Deck 11. This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed. To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? Unthinkable.

Allow me a brief preamble here. The story you are reading was commissioned at a moment when most staterooms on the Icon were sold out. In fact, so enthralled by the prospect of this voyage were hard-core mariners that the ship’s entire inventory of guest rooms (the Icon can accommodate up to 7,600 passengers, but its inaugural journey was reduced to 5,000 or so for a less crowded experience) was almost immediately sold out. Hence, this publication was faced with the shocking prospect of paying nearly $19,000 to procure for this solitary passenger an entire suite—not including drinking expenses—all for the privilege of bringing you this article. But the suite in question doesn’t even have a view of the ocean! I sit down hard on my soft bed. Nineteen thousand dollars for this .

The viewless suite does have its pluses. In addition to all the Malin+Goetz products in my dual bathrooms, I am granted use of a dedicated Suite Deck lounge; access to Coastal Kitchen, a superior restaurant for Suites passengers; complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream (“the fastest Internet at Sea”) “for one device per person for the whole cruise duration”; a pair of bathrobes (one of which comes prestained with what looks like a large expectoration by the greenest lizard on Earth); and use of the Grove Suite Sun, an area on Decks 18 and 19 with food and deck chairs reserved exclusively for Suite passengers. I also get reserved seating for a performance of The Wizard of Oz , an ice-skating tribute to the periodic table, and similar provocations. The very color of my Suite Sky SeaPass Card, an oceanic blue as opposed to the cloying royal purple of the standard non-Suite passenger, will soon provoke envy and admiration. But as high as my status may be, there are those on board who have much higher status still, and I will soon learn to bow before them.

In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends. But I naively thought that my meatball T-shirt would be more suitable for conversation-starting. “Oh, and who is your ‘daddy’?” some might ask upon seeing it. “And how long have you been his ‘little meatball’?” And so on.

I put on my meatball T-shirt and head for one of the dining rooms to get a late lunch. In the elevator, I stick out my chest for all to read the funny legend upon it, but soon I realize that despite its burnished tricolor letters, no one takes note. More to the point, no one takes note of me. Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace , who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am. If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity.

Worse awaits me in the dining room. This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language. “I’m sorry, this is only for pendejos ,” he seems to be saying. I push back politely and he repeats himself. Pendejos ? Piranhas? There’s some kind of P-word to which I am not attuned. Meanwhile elderly passengers stream right past, powered by their limbs, walkers, and electric wheelchairs. “It is only pendejo dining today, sir.” “But I have a suite!” I say, already starting to catch on to the ship’s class system. He examines my card again. “But you are not a pendejo ,” he confirms. I am wearing a DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL T-shirt, I want to say to him. I am the essence of pendejo .

Eventually, I give up and head to the plebeian buffet on Deck 15, which has an aquatic-styled name I have now forgotten. Before gaining entry to this endless cornucopia of reheated food, one passes a washing station of many sinks and soap dispensers, and perhaps the most intriguing character on the entire ship. He is Mr. Washy Washy—or, according to his name tag, Nielbert of the Philippines—and he is dressed as a taco (on other occasions, I’ll see him dressed as a burger). Mr. Washy Washy performs an eponymous song in spirited, indeed flamboyant English: “Washy, washy, wash your hands, WASHY WASHY!” The dangers of norovirus and COVID on a cruise ship this size (a giant fellow ship was stricken with the former right after my voyage) makes Mr. Washy Washy an essential member of the crew. The problem lies with the food at the end of Washy’s rainbow. The buffet is groaning with what sounds like sophisticated dishes—marinated octopus, boiled egg with anchovy, chorizo, lobster claws—but every animal tastes tragically the same, as if there was only one creature available at the market, a “cruisipus” bred specifically for Royal Caribbean dining. The “vegetables” are no better. I pick up a tomato slice and look right through it. It tastes like cellophane. I sit alone, apart from the couples and parents with gaggles of children, as “We Are Family” echoes across the buffet space.

I may have failed to mention that all this time, the Icon of the Seas has not left port. As the fiery mango of the subtropical setting sun makes Miami’s condo skyline even more apocalyptic, the ship shoves off beneath a perfunctory display of fireworks. After the sun sets, in the far, dark distance, another circus-lit cruise ship ruptures the waves before us. We glance at it with pity, because it is by definition a smaller ship than our own. I am on Deck 15, outside the buffet and overlooking a bunch of pools (the Icon has seven of them), drinking a frilly drink that I got from one of the bars (the Icon has 15 of them), still too shy to speak to anyone, despite Sister Sledge’s assertion that all on the ship are somehow related.

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The ship’s passage away from Ron DeSantis’s Florida provides no frisson, no sense of developing “sea legs,” as the ship is too large to register the presence of waves unless a mighty wind adds significant chop. It is time for me to register the presence of the 5,000 passengers around me, even if they refuse to register mine. My fellow travelers have prepared for this trip with personally decorated T-shirts celebrating the importance of this voyage. The simplest ones say ICON INAUGURAL ’24 on the back and the family name on the front. Others attest to an over-the-top love of cruise ships: WARNING! MAY START TALKING ABOUT CRUISING . Still others are artisanally designed and celebrate lifetimes spent married while cruising (on ships, of course). A couple possibly in their 90s are wearing shirts whose backs feature a drawing of a cruise liner, two flamingos with ostensibly male and female characteristics, and the legend “ HUSBAND AND WIFE Cruising Partners FOR LIFE WE MAY NOT HAVE IT All Together BUT TOGETHER WE HAVE IT ALL .” (The words not in all caps have been written in cursive.) A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.

I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

I breakfast alone at the Coastal Kitchen. The coffee tastes fine and the eggs came out of a bird. The ship rolls slightly this morning; I can feel it in my thighs and my schlong, the parts of me that are most receptive to danger.

I had a dangerous conversation last night. After the sun set and we were at least 50 miles from shore (most modern cruise ships sail at about 23 miles an hour), I lay in bed softly hiccupping, my arms stretched out exactly like Jesus on the cross, the sound of the distant waves missing from my mall-facing suite, replaced by the hum of air-conditioning and children shouting in Spanish through the vents of my two bathrooms. I decided this passivity was unacceptable. As an immigrant, I feel duty-bound to complete the tasks I am paid for, which means reaching out and trying to understand my fellow cruisers. So I put on a normal James Perse T-shirt and headed for one of the bars on the Royal Promenade—the Schooner Bar, it was called, if memory serves correctly.

I sat at the bar for a martini and two Negronis. An old man with thick, hairy forearms drank next to me, very silent and Hemingwaylike, while a dreadlocked piano player tinkled out a series of excellent Elton John covers. To my right, a young white couple—he in floral shorts, she in a light, summery miniskirt with a fearsome diamond ring, neither of them in football regalia—chatted with an elderly couple. Do it , I commanded myself. Open your mouth. Speak! Speak without being spoken to. Initiate. A sentence fragment caught my ear from the young woman, “Cherry Hill.” This is a suburb of Philadelphia in New Jersey, and I had once been there for a reading at a synagogue. “Excuse me,” I said gently to her. “Did you just mention Cherry Hill? It’s a lovely place.”

As it turned out, the couple now lived in Fort Lauderdale (the number of Floridians on the cruise surprised me, given that Southern Florida is itself a kind of cruise ship, albeit one slowly sinking), but soon they were talking with me exclusively—the man potbellied, with a chin like a hard-boiled egg; the woman as svelte as if she were one of the many Ukrainian members of the crew—the elderly couple next to them forgotten. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”).

“I don’t want to talk politics,” the man said. “But they’re going to eighty-six Biden and put Michelle in.”

I considered the contradictions of his opening conversational gambit, but decided to play along. “People like Michelle,” I said, testing the waters. The husband sneered, but the wife charitably put forward that the former first lady was “more personable” than Joe Biden. “They’re gonna eighty-six Biden,” the husband repeated. “He can’t put a sentence together.”

After I mentioned that I was a writer—though I presented myself as a writer of teleplays instead of novels and articles such as this one—the husband told me his favorite writer was Ayn Rand. “Ayn Rand, she came here with nothing,” the husband said. “I work with a lot of Cubans, so …” I wondered if I should mention what I usually do to ingratiate myself with Republicans or libertarians: the fact that my finances improved after pass-through corporations were taxed differently under Donald Trump. Instead, I ordered another drink and the couple did the same, and I told him that Rand and I were born in the same city, St. Petersburg/Leningrad, and that my family also came here with nothing. Now the bonding and drinking began in earnest, and several more rounds appeared. Until it all fell apart.

Read: Gary Shteyngart on watching Russian television for five days straight

My new friend, whom I will refer to as Ayn, called out to a buddy of his across the bar, and suddenly a young couple, both covered in tattoos, appeared next to us. “He fucking punked me,” Ayn’s frat-boy-like friend called out as he put his arm around Ayn, while his sizable partner sizzled up to Mrs. Rand. Both of them had a look I have never seen on land—their eyes projecting absence and enmity in equal measure. In the ’90s, I drank with Russian soldiers fresh from Chechnya and wandered the streets of wartime Zagreb, but I have never seen such undisguised hostility toward both me and perhaps the universe at large. I was briefly introduced to this psychopathic pair, but neither of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and the tattooed woman would not even reveal her Christian name to me (she pretended to have the same first name as Mrs. Rand). To impress his tattooed friends, Ayn made fun of the fact that as a television writer, I’d worked on the series Succession (which, it would turn out, practically nobody on the ship had watched), instead of the far more palatable, in his eyes, zombie drama of last year. And then my new friends drifted away from me into an angry private conversation—“He punked me!”—as I ordered another drink for myself, scared of the dead-eyed arrivals whose gaze never registered in the dim wattage of the Schooner Bar, whose terrifying voices and hollow laughs grated like unoiled gears against the crooning of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

But today is a new day for me and my hangover. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods . There’s the AquaDome, where one can find a food hall and an acrobatic sound-and-light aquatic show. Central Park has a premium steak house, a sushi joint, and a used Rolex that can be bought for $8,000 on land here proudly offered at $17,000. There’s the aforementioned Royal Promenade, where I had drunk with the Rands, and where a pair of dueling pianos duel well into the night. There’s Surfside, a kids’ neighborhood full of sugary garbage, which looks out onto the frothy trail that the behemoth leaves behind itself. Thrill Island refers to the collection of tubes that clutter the ass of the ship and offer passengers six waterslides and a surfing simulation. There’s the Hideaway, an adult zone that plays music from a vomit-slathered, Brit-filled Alicante nightclub circa 1996 and proves a big favorite with groups of young Latin American customers. And, most hurtfully, there’s the Suite Neighborhood.

I say hurtfully because as a Suite passenger I should be here, though my particular suite is far from the others. Whereas I am stuck amid the riffraff of Deck 11, this section is on the highborn Decks 16 and 17, and in passing, I peek into the spacious, tall-ceilinged staterooms from the hallway, dazzled by the glint of the waves and sun. For $75,000, one multifloor suite even comes with its own slide between floors, so that a family may enjoy this particular terror in private. There is a quiet splendor to the Suite Neighborhood. I see fewer stickers and signs and drawings than in my own neighborhood—for example, MIKE AND DIANA PROUDLY SERVED U.S. MARINE CORPS RETIRED . No one here needs to announce their branch of service or rank; they are simply Suites, and this is where they belong. Once again, despite my hard work and perseverance, I have been disallowed from the true American elite. Once again, I am “Not our class, dear.” I am reminded of watching The Love Boat on my grandmother’s Zenith, which either was given to her or we found in the trash (I get our many malfunctioning Zeniths confused) and whose tube got so hot, I would put little chunks of government cheese on a thin tissue atop it to give our welfare treat a pleasant, Reagan-era gooeyness. I could not understand English well enough then to catch the nuances of that seafaring program, but I knew that there were differences in the status of the passengers, and that sometimes those differences made them sad. Still, this ship, this plenty—every few steps, there are complimentary nachos or milkshakes or gyros on offer—was the fatty fuel of my childhood dreams. If only I had remained a child.

I walk around the outdoor decks looking for company. There is a middle-aged African American couple who always seem to be asleep in each other’s arms, probably exhausted from the late capitalism they regularly encounter on land. There is far more diversity on this ship than I expected. Many couples are a testament to Loving v. Virginia , and there is a large group of folks whose T-shirts read MELANIN AT SEA / IT’S THE MELANIN FOR ME . I smile when I see them, but then some young kids from the group makes Mr. Washy Washy do a cruel, caricatured “Burger Dance” (today he is in his burger getup), and I think, Well, so much for intersectionality .

At the infinity pool on Deck 17, I spot some elderly women who could be ethnic and from my part of the world, and so I jump in. I am proved correct! Many of them seem to be originally from Queens (“Corona was still great when it was all Italian”), though they are now spread across the tristate area. We bond over the way “Ron-kon-koma” sounds when announced in Penn Station.

“Everyone is here for a different reason,” one of them tells me. She and her ex-husband last sailed together four years ago to prove to themselves that their marriage was truly over. Her 15-year-old son lost his virginity to “an Irish young lady” while their ship was moored in Ravenna, Italy. The gaggle of old-timers competes to tell me their favorite cruising stories and tips. “A guy proposed in Central Park a couple of years ago”—many Royal Caribbean ships apparently have this ridiculous communal area—“and she ran away screaming!” “If you’re diamond-class, you get four drinks for free.” “A different kind of passenger sails out of Bayonne.” (This, perhaps, is racially coded.) “Sometimes, if you tip the bartender $5, your next drink will be free.”

“Everyone’s here for a different reason,” the woman whose marriage ended on a cruise tells me again. “Some people are here for bad reasons—the drinkers and the gamblers. Some people are here for medical reasons.” I have seen more than a few oxygen tanks and at least one woman clearly undergoing very serious chemo. Some T-shirts celebrate good news about a cancer diagnosis. This might be someone’s last cruise or week on Earth. For these women, who have spent months, if not years, at sea, cruising is a ritual as well as a life cycle: first love, last love, marriage, divorce, death.

Read: The last place on Earth any tourist should go

I have talked with these women for so long, tonight I promise myself that after a sad solitary dinner I will not try to seek out company at the bars in the mall or the adult-themed Hideaway. I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. She is singing something violent about “Stuttering Stanley” (a character in a popular horror movie, as I discover with my complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream Internet at Sea) and he’s loudly shouting about “all the money I’ve lost,” presumably at the casino in the bowels of the ship.

So these bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel are angrily inhabiting my deck. As I mewl myself to sleep, I envision a limited series for HBO or some other streamer, a kind of low-rent White Lotus , where several aggressive couples conspire to throw a shy intellectual interloper overboard. I type the scenario into my phone. As I fall asleep, I think of what the woman who recently divorced her husband and whose son became a man through the good offices of the Irish Republic told me while I was hoisting myself out of the infinity pool. “I’m here because I’m an explorer. I’m here because I’m trying something new.” What if I allowed myself to believe in her fantasy?

“YOU REALLY STARTED AT THE TOP,” they tell me. I’m at the Coastal Kitchen for my eggs and corned-beef hash, and the maître d’ has slotted me in between two couples. Fueled by coffee or perhaps intrigued by my relative youth, they strike up a conversation with me. As always, people are shocked that this is my first cruise. They contrast the Icon favorably with all the preceding liners in the Royal Caribbean fleet, usually commenting on the efficiency of the elevators that hurl us from deck to deck (as in many large corporate buildings, the elevators ask you to choose a floor and then direct you to one of many lifts). The couple to my right, from Palo Alto—he refers to his “porn mustache” and calls his wife “my cougar” because she is two years older—tell me they are “Pandemic Pinnacles.”

This is the day that my eyes will be opened. Pinnacles , it is explained to me over translucent cantaloupe, have sailed with Royal Caribbean for 700 ungodly nights. Pandemic Pinnacles took advantage of the two-for-one accrual rate of Pinnacle points during the pandemic, when sailing on a cruise ship was even more ill-advised, to catapult themselves into Pinnacle status.

Because of the importance of the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest cruise liner, more than 200 Pinnacles are on this ship, a startling number, it seems. Mrs. Palo Alto takes out a golden badge that I have seen affixed over many a breast, which reads CROWN AND ANCHOR SOCIETY along with her name. This is the coveted badge of the Pinnacle. “You should hear all the whining in Guest Services,” her husband tells me. Apparently, the Pinnacles who are not also Suites like us are all trying to use their status to get into Coastal Kitchen, our elite restaurant. Even a Pinnacle needs to be a Suite to access this level of corned-beef hash.

“We’re just baby Pinnacles,” Mrs. Palo Alto tells me, describing a kind of internal class struggle among the Pinnacle elite for ever higher status.

And now I understand what the maître d’ was saying to me on the first day of my cruise. He wasn’t saying “ pendejo .” He was saying “Pinnacle.” The dining room was for Pinnacles only, all those older people rolling in like the tide on their motorized scooters.

And now I understand something else: This whole thing is a cult. And like most cults, it can’t help but mirror the endless American fight for status. Like Keith Raniere’s NXIVM, where different-colored sashes were given out to connote rank among Raniere’s branded acolytes, this is an endless competition among Pinnacles, Suites, Diamond-Plusers, and facing-the-mall, no-balcony purple SeaPass Card peasants, not to mention the many distinctions within each category. The more you cruise, the higher your status. No wonder a section of the Royal Promenade is devoted to getting passengers to book their next cruise during the one they should be enjoying now. No wonder desperate Royal Caribbean offers (“FINAL HOURS”) crowded my email account weeks before I set sail. No wonder the ship’s jewelry store, the Royal Bling, is selling a $100,000 golden chalice that will entitle its owner to drink free on Royal Caribbean cruises for life. (One passenger was already gaming out whether her 28-year-old son was young enough to “just about earn out” on the chalice or if that ship had sailed.) No wonder this ship was sold out months before departure , and we had to pay $19,000 for a horrid suite away from the Suite Neighborhood. No wonder the most mythical hero of Royal Caribbean lore is someone named Super Mario, who has cruised so often, he now has his own working desk on many ships. This whole experience is part cult, part nautical pyramid scheme.

From the June 2014 issue: Ship of wonks

“The toilets are amazing,” the Palo Altos are telling me. “One flush and you’re done.” “They don’t understand how energy-efficient these ships are,” the husband of the other couple is telling me. “They got the LNG”—liquefied natural gas, which is supposed to make the Icon a boon to the environment (a concept widely disputed and sometimes ridiculed by environmentalists).

But I’m thinking along a different line of attack as I spear my last pallid slice of melon. For my streaming limited series, a Pinnacle would have to get killed by either an outright peasant or a Suite without an ocean view. I tell my breakfast companions my idea.

“Oh, for sure a Pinnacle would have to be killed,” Mr. Palo Alto, the Pandemic Pinnacle, says, touching his porn mustache thoughtfully as his wife nods.

“THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S your time, buddy!” Hubert, my fun-loving Panamanian cabin attendant, shouts as I step out of my suite in a robe. “Take it easy, buddy!”

I have come up with a new dressing strategy. Instead of trying to impress with my choice of T-shirts, I have decided to start wearing a robe, as one does at a resort property on land, with a proper spa and hammam. The response among my fellow cruisers has been ecstatic. “Look at you in the robe!” Mr. Rand cries out as we pass each other by the Thrill Island aqua park. “You’re living the cruise life! You know, you really drank me under the table that night.” I laugh as we part ways, but my soul cries out, Please spend more time with me, Mr. and Mrs. Rand; I so need the company .

In my white robe, I am a stately presence, a refugee from a better limited series, a one-man crossover episode. (Only Suites are granted these robes to begin with.) Today, I will try many of the activities these ships have on offer to provide their clientele with a sense of never-ceasing motion. Because I am already at Thrill Island, I decide to climb the staircase to what looks like a mast on an old-fashioned ship (terrified, because I am afraid of heights) to try a ride called “Storm Chasers,” which is part of the “Category 6” water park, named in honor of one of the storms that may someday do away with the Port of Miami entirely. Storm Chasers consists of falling from the “mast” down a long, twisting neon tube filled with water, like being the camera inside your own colonoscopy, as you hold on to the handles of a mat, hoping not to die. The tube then flops you down headfirst into a trough of water, a Royal Caribbean baptism. It both knocks my breath out and makes me sad.

In keeping with the aquatic theme, I attend a show at the AquaDome. To the sound of “Live and Let Die,” a man in a harness gyrates to and fro in the sultry air. I saw something very similar in the back rooms of the famed Berghain club in early-aughts Berlin. Soon another harnessed man is gyrating next to the first. Ja , I think to myself, I know how this ends. Now will come the fisting , natürlich . But the show soon devolves into the usual Marvel-film-grade nonsense, with too much light and sound signifying nichts . If any fisting is happening, it is probably in the Suite Neighborhood, inside a cabin marked with an upside-down pineapple, which I understand means a couple are ready to swing, and I will see none of it.

I go to the ice show, which is a kind of homage—if that’s possible—to the periodic table, done with the style and pomp and masterful precision that would please the likes of Kim Jong Un, if only he could afford Royal Caribbean talent. At one point, the dancers skate to the theme song of Succession . “See that!” I want to say to my fellow Suites—at “cultural” events, we have a special section reserved for us away from the commoners—“ Succession ! It’s even better than the zombie show! Open your minds!”

Finally, I visit a comedy revue in an enormous and too brightly lit version of an “intimate,” per Royal Caribbean literature, “Manhattan comedy club.” Many of the jokes are about the cruising life. “I’ve lived on ships for 20 years,” one of the middle-aged comedians says. “I can only see so many Filipino homosexuals dressed as a taco.” He pauses while the audience laughs. “I am so fired tonight,” he says. He segues into a Trump impression and then Biden falling asleep at the microphone, which gets the most laughs. “Anyone here from Fort Leonard Wood?” another comedian asks. Half the crowd seems to cheer. As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.

As a coddled passenger with a suite, I feel like I am starting to understand what it means to have a rank and be constantly reminded of it. There are many espresso makers , I think as I look across the expanse of my officer-grade quarters before closing my eyes, but this one is mine .

A shocking sight greets me beyond the pools of Deck 17 as I saunter over to the Coastal Kitchen for my morning intake of slightly sour Americanos. A tiny city beneath a series of perfectly pressed green mountains. Land! We have docked for a brief respite in Basseterre, the capital of St. Kitts and Nevis. I wolf down my egg scramble to be one of the first passengers off the ship. Once past the gangway, I barely refrain from kissing the ground. I rush into the sights and sounds of this scruffy island city, sampling incredible conch curry and buckets of non-Starbucks coffee. How wonderful it is to be where God intended humans to be: on land. After all, I am neither a fish nor a mall rat. This is my natural environment. Basseterre may not be Havana, but there are signs of human ingenuity and desire everywhere you look. The Black Table Grill Has been Relocated to Soho Village, Market Street, Directly Behind of, Gary’s Fruits and Flower Shop. Signed. THE PORK MAN reads a sign stuck to a wall. Now, that is how you write a sign. A real sign, not the come-ons for overpriced Rolexes that blink across the screens of the Royal Promenade.

“Hey, tie your shoestring!” a pair of laughing ladies shout to me across the street.

“Thank you!” I shout back. Shoestring! “Thank you very much.”

A man in Independence Square Park comes by and asks if I want to play with his monkey. I haven’t heard that pickup line since the Penn Station of the 1980s. But then he pulls a real monkey out of a bag. The monkey is wearing a diaper and looks insane. Wonderful , I think, just wonderful! There is so much life here. I email my editor asking if I can remain on St. Kitts and allow the Icon to sail off into the horizon without me. I have even priced a flight home at less than $300, and I have enough material from the first four days on the cruise to write the entire story. “It would be funny …” my editor replies. “Now get on the boat.”

As I slink back to the ship after my brief jailbreak, the locals stand under umbrellas to gaze at and photograph the boat that towers over their small capital city. The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock.

“We hear about all the waterslides,” a sweet young server in one of the cafés told me. “We wish we could go on the ship, but we have to work.”

“I want to stay on your island,” I replied. “I love it here.”

But she didn’t understand how I could possibly mean that.

“WASHY, WASHY, so you don’t get stinky, stinky!” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy.

Meanwhile, I have found a new watering hole for myself, the Swim & Tonic, the biggest swim-up bar on any cruise ship in the world. Drinking next to full-size, nearly naked Americans takes away one’s own self-consciousness. The men have curvaceous mom bodies. The women are equally un-shy about their sprawling physiques.

Today I’ve befriended a bald man with many children who tells me that all of the little trinkets that Royal Caribbean has left us in our staterooms and suites are worth a fortune on eBay. “Eighty dollars for the water bottle, 60 for the lanyard,” the man says. “This is a cult.”

“Tell me about it,” I say. There is, however, a clientele for whom this cruise makes perfect sense. For a large middle-class family (he works in “supply chains”), seven days in a lower-tier cabin—which starts at $1,800 a person—allow the parents to drop off their children in Surfside, where I imagine many young Filipina crew members will take care of them, while the parents are free to get drunk at a swim-up bar and maybe even get intimate in their cabin. Cruise ships have become, for a certain kind of hardworking family, a form of subsidized child care.

There is another man I would like to befriend at the Swim & Tonic, a tall, bald fellow who is perpetually inebriated and who wears a necklace studded with little rubber duckies in sunglasses, which, I am told, is a sort of secret handshake for cruise aficionados. Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.

I usually tan very evenly, but something about the discombobulation of life at sea makes me forget the regular application of sunscreen. As I walk down the streets of Charlotte Amalie in my fluorescent Icon of the Seas cap, an old Rastafarian stares me down. “Redneck,” he hisses.

“No,” I want to tell him, as I bring a hand up to my red neck, “that’s not who I am at all. On my island, Mannahatta, as Whitman would have it, I am an interesting person living within an engaging artistic milieu. I do not wish to use the Caribbean as a dumping ground for the cruise-ship industry. I love the work of Derek Walcott. You don’t understand. I am not a redneck. And if I am, they did this to me.” They meaning Royal Caribbean? Its passengers? The Rands?

“They did this to me!”

Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do. Her face was as tight as a 19-year-old’s, she had so much surgery.” With those words, and beneath a cloudy sky, humidity shrouding our weathered faces and red necks, we set sail once again, hopefully in the direction of home.

THERE ARE BARELY 48 HOURS LEFT to the cruise, and the Icon of the Seas’ passengers are salty. They know how to work the elevators. They know the Washy Washy song by heart. They understand that the chicken gyro at “Feta Mediterranean,” in the AquaDome Market, is the least problematic form of chicken on the ship.

The passengers have shed their INAUGURAL CRUISE T-shirts and are now starting to evince political opinions. There are caps pledging to make America great again and T-shirts that celebrate words sometimes attributed to Patrick Henry: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.” With their preponderance of FAMILY FLAG FAITH FRIENDS FIREARMS T-shirts, the tables by the crepe station sometimes resemble the Capitol Rotunda on January 6. The Real Anthony Fauci , by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., appears to be a popular form of literature, especially among young men with very complicated versions of the American flag on their T-shirts. Other opinions blend the personal and the political. “Someone needs to kill Washy guy, right?” a well-dressed man in the elevator tells me, his gray eyes radiating nothing. “Just beat him to death. Am I right?” I overhear the male member of a young couple whisper, “There goes that freak” as I saunter by in my white spa robe, and I decide to retire it for the rest of the cruise.

I visit the Royal Bling to see up close the $100,000 golden chalice that entitles you to free drinks on Royal Caribbean forever. The pleasant Serbian saleslady explains that the chalice is actually gold-plated and covered in white zirconia instead of diamonds, as it would otherwise cost $1 million. “If you already have everything,” she explains, “this is one more thing you can get.”

I believe that anyone who works for Royal Caribbean should be entitled to immediate American citizenship. They already speak English better than most of the passengers and, per the Serbian lady’s sales pitch above, better understand what America is as well. Crew members like my Panamanian cabin attendant seem to work 24 hours a day. A waiter from New Delhi tells me that his contract is six months and three weeks long. After a cruise ends, he says, “in a few hours, we start again for the next cruise.” At the end of the half a year at sea, he is allowed a two-to-three-month stay at home with his family. As of 2019, the median income for crew members was somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000, according to a major business publication. Royal Caribbean would not share the current median salary for its crew members, but I am certain that it amounts to a fraction of the cost of a Royal Bling gold-plated, zirconia-studded chalice.

And because most of the Icon’s hyper-sanitized spaces are just a frittata away from being a Delta lounge, one forgets that there are actual sailors on this ship, charged with the herculean task of docking it in port. “Having driven 100,000-ton aircraft carriers throughout my career,” retired Admiral James G. Stavridis, the former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, writes to me, “I’m not sure I would even know where to begin with trying to control a sea monster like this one nearly three times the size.” (I first met Stavridis while touring Army bases in Germany more than a decade ago.)

Today, I decide to head to the hot tub near Swim & Tonic, where some of the ship’s drunkest reprobates seem to gather (the other tubs are filled with families and couples). The talk here, like everywhere else on the ship, concerns football, a sport about which I know nothing. It is apparent that four teams have recently competed in some kind of finals for the year, and that two of them will now face off in the championship. Often when people on the Icon speak, I will try to repeat the last thing they said with a laugh or a nod of disbelief. “Yes, 20-yard line! Ha!” “Oh my God, of course, scrimmage.”

Soon we are joined in the hot tub by the late-middle-age drunk guy with the duck necklace. He is wearing a bucket hat with the legend HAWKEYES , which, I soon gather, is yet another football team. “All right, who turned me in?” Duck Necklace says as he plops into the tub beside us. “I get a call in the morning,” he says. “It’s security. Can you come down to the dining room by 10 a.m.? You need to stay away from the members of this religious family.” Apparently, the gregarious Duck Necklace had photobombed the wrong people. There are several families who present as evangelical Christians or practicing Muslims on the ship. One man, evidently, was not happy that Duck Necklace had made contact with his relatives. “It’s because of religious stuff; he was offended. I put my arm around 20 people a day.”

Everyone laughs. “They asked me three times if I needed medication,” he says of the security people who apparently interrogated him in full view of others having breakfast.

Another hot-tub denizen suggests that he should have asked for fentanyl. After a few more drinks, Duck Necklace begins to muse about what it would be like to fall off the ship. “I’m 62 and I’m ready to go,” he says. “I just don’t want a shark to eat me. I’m a huge God guy. I’m a Bible guy. There’s some Mayan theory squaring science stuff with religion. There is so much more to life on Earth.” We all nod into our Red Stripes.

“I never get off the ship when we dock,” he says. He tells us he lost $6,000 in the casino the other day. Later, I look him up, and it appears that on land, he’s a financial adviser in a crisp gray suit, probably a pillar of his North Chicago community.

THE OCEAN IS TEEMING with fascinating life, but on the surface it has little to teach us. The waves come and go. The horizon remains ever far away.

I am constantly told by my fellow passengers that “everybody here has a story.” Yes, I want to reply, but everybody everywhere has a story. You, the reader of this essay, have a story, and yet you’re not inclined to jump on a cruise ship and, like Duck Necklace, tell your story to others at great pitch and volume. Maybe what they’re saying is that everybody on this ship wants to have a bigger, more coherent, more interesting story than the one they’ve been given. Maybe that’s why there’s so much signage on the doors around me attesting to marriages spent on the sea. Maybe that’s why the Royal Caribbean newsletter slipped under my door tells me that “this isn’t a vacation day spent—it’s bragging rights earned.” Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely.

Today is a big day for Icon passengers. Today the ship docks at Royal Caribbean’s own Bahamian island, the Perfect Day at CocoCay. (This appears to be the actual name of the island.) A comedian at the nightclub opined on what his perfect day at CocoCay would look like—receiving oral sex while learning that his ex-wife had been killed in a car crash (big laughter). But the reality of the island is far less humorous than that.

One of the ethnic tristate ladies in the infinity pool told me that she loved CocoCay because it had exactly the same things that could be found on the ship itself. This proves to be correct. It is like the Icon, but with sand. The same tired burgers, the same colorful tubes conveying children and water from Point A to B. The same swim-up bar at its Hideaway ($140 for admittance, no children allowed; Royal Caribbean must be printing money off its clientele). “There was almost a fight at The Wizard of Oz ,” I overhear an elderly woman tell her companion on a chaise lounge. Apparently one of the passengers began recording Royal Caribbean’s intellectual property and “three guys came after him.”

I walk down a pathway to the center of the island, where a sign reads DO NOT ENTER: YOU HAVE REACHED THE BOUNDARY OF ADVENTURE . I hear an animal scampering in the bushes. A Royal Caribbean worker in an enormous golf cart soon chases me down and takes me back to the Hideaway, where I run into Mrs. Rand in a bikini. She becomes livid telling me about an altercation she had the other day with a woman over a towel and a deck chair. We Suites have special towel privileges; we do not have to hand over our SeaPass Card to score a towel. But the Rands are not Suites. “People are so entitled here,” Mrs. Rand says. “It’s like the airport with all its classes.” “You see,” I want to say, “this is where your husband’s love of Ayn Rand runs into the cruelties and arbitrary indignities of unbridled capitalism.” Instead we make plans to meet for a final drink in the Schooner Bar tonight (the Rands will stand me up).

Back on the ship, I try to do laps, but the pool (the largest on any cruise ship, naturally) is fully trashed with the detritus of American life: candy wrappers, a slowly dissolving tortilla chip, napkins. I take an extra-long shower in my suite, then walk around the perimeter of the ship on a kind of exercise track, past all the alluring lifeboats in their yellow-and-white livery. Maybe there is a dystopian angle to the HBO series that I will surely end up pitching, one with shades of WALL-E or Snowpiercer . In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean–like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon features a new technology that converts passengers’ poop into enough energy to power the waterslides . In the series, this shitty technology would be greatly expanded.) A very young woman (18? 19?), smart and lonely, who has only known life on the ship, walks along the same track as I do now, contemplating jumping off into the surf left by its wake. I picture reusing Duck Necklace’s words in the opening shot of the pilot. The girl is walking around the track, her eyes on the horizon; maybe she’s highborn—a Suite—and we hear the voice-over: “I’m 19 and I’m ready to go. I just don’t want a shark to eat me.”

Before the cruise is finished, I talk to Mr. Washy Washy, or Nielbert of the Philippines. He is a sweet, gentle man, and I thank him for the earworm of a song he has given me and for keeping us safe from the dreaded norovirus. “This is very important to me, getting people to wash their hands,” he tells me in his burger getup. He has dreams, as an artist and a performer, but they are limited in scope. One day he wants to dress up as a piece of bacon for the morning shift.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC (the Icon of the Seas is five times as large as that doomed vessel) at least offered its passengers an exciting ending to their cruise, but when I wake up on the eighth day, all I see are the gray ghosts that populate Miami’s condo skyline. Throughout my voyage, my writer friends wrote in to commiserate with me. Sloane Crosley, who once covered a three-day spa mini-cruise for Vogue , tells me she felt “so very alone … I found it very untethering.” Gideon Lewis-Kraus writes in an Instagram comment: “When Gary is done I think it’s time this genre was taken out back and shot.” And he is right. To badly paraphrase Adorno: After this, no more cruise stories. It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship. Writers typically have difficult childhoods, and it is cruel to remind them of the inherent loneliness that drove them to writing in the first place. It is also unseemly to write about the kind of people who go on cruises. Our country does not provide the education and upbringing that allow its citizens an interior life. For the creative class to point fingers at the large, breasty gentlemen adrift in tortilla-chip-laden pools of water is to gather a sour harvest of low-hanging fruit.

A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further. What I found shocked me. My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. It had been there all along. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained.

This article appears in the May 2024 print edition with the headline “A Meatball at Sea.” When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.

The 13 Best Solo Cruises for 2024 (No Supplement Fare)

W hether you're embarking on your first cruise alone or you've been on solo cruises before, single travelers will find more options than ever when it comes to cruising solo. Many cruise lines offer single staterooms with the same amenities as other cabins, at a price similar to what you'd pay with double occupancy fares. You'll also find special promotions where the single supplement fee is reduced or waived, making it more affordable to reserve a spacious stateroom or luxurious suite with even more amenities – including personalized butler service, an added perk of booking with many luxury lines .

If you're ready for a maritime adventure, an extended vacation or simply a quick getaway from home, these top cruise lines offer some of the best options for solo travelers on waterways around the world.

Lines with solo accommodations and waived fees

Norwegian cruise line.

Launched in 2010, Norwegian Epic was the first cruise ship in the industry to feature studio accommodations for solo travelers. Norwegian Cruise Line offers this category on nine of the 19 ships in its fleet, including the newest ship, Norwegian Viva. These cabins, at an average size of 100 square feet, are designed and priced with the solo traveler in mind. They have no single supplements – and studio rooms on board Norwegian Bliss even boast virtual windows.

Guests of the studios get access to the private Studio Lounge. In this exclusive space, you can socialize with other solo travelers and enjoy complimentary refreshments. There are also singles meetups throughout the voyage and plenty of fun-filled onboard activities to mingle with like-minded cruisers. Solo travelers can check out all the fun for singles on Norwegian Viva this winter on a cruise to the Caribbean , or in spring 2024 as the ship sets sail for the Mediterranean .

Book a Norwegian Cruise Line voyage on GoToSea, a service of U.S. News.

MSC Cruises

MSC Cruises offers interior and balcony solo cabins for single cruisers on its Meraviglia-class ships: the MSC Meraviglia, Bellissima, Grandiosa, Virtuosa and the newest vessel in the fleet, MSC Euribia. The second-newest ship, MSC World Europa, has 28 cabins – 10 Studio Interior and 18 Studio Ocean View staterooms – designed specifically for solo travelers. MSC World America, set to debut in 2025, will also feature the solo studio staterooms.

During voyages with MSC Cruises , single cruisers are invited to a complimentary, hosted cocktail party to mix and mingle with other solo travelers. The daily program is also an excellent source to discover additional activities, entertainment and opportunities to meet other cruisers. You'll have onboard special events like the themed 70s-inspired Flower Party and the White Party, where the ship is decked out in festive white decor and guests don their best white attire. In addition, there are various sports tournaments, or you can show off your culinary expertise during a MasterChef competition.

MSC's Caribbean and Bahamas cruises departing from Miami and New York City feature an overnight visit to Ocean Cay, the line's private island and marine reserve. While there, singles can participate in fun-filled evening activities like a Champagne Sunset Cruise or a glow paddleboarding excursion in the lagoon, then attend the lively Luna Libre Party and the lighthouse show.

Find an MSC Cruises itinerary on GoToSea.

Holland America Line

Three of Holland America Line's newest ships each offer 12 solo cabins to accommodate single travelers: the Pinnacle-class Nieuw Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Konigsdam. These ocean view staterooms range in size from 127 to 172 square feet and feature the same amenities as the double occupancy cabins but with a double bed. The cruise line's Single Staterooms are priced for one person. If a guest chooses to book a different stateroom, single supplements for double occupancy cabins are as much as 100% over the standard fare, depending on the voyage and the cabin category.

Long committed to solo travelers, the line offers many activities where guests can meet other singles such as wine tastings, cocktail mixers, exercise classes, daily quizzes, sports challenges and more. If you're a solo traveler and a member of AARP, Holland America is now the exclusive cruise benefit provider to AARP's members. Solo cruisers will have access to an AARP member-only onboard credit that ranges from $50 to $200, depending on the itinerary and stateroom category.

For itineraries, Holland America's Alaska cruises and cruisetours are perfect for solo travelers, offering many opportunities to connect with fellow cruisers. Another favorite for singles is the line's fall voyages sailing from Boston to Québec City or Montreal.

Explore Holland America Line deals on GoToSea.

Royal Caribbean International

Royal Caribbean International features studio staterooms on select ships that range in size from 101 to 199 square feet. These solo accommodations include interior rooms, virtual balcony staterooms and a super studio ocean view stateroom with a balcony. The cabins do not carry the single supplement fee singles encounter when booking other types of staterooms, making them an attractive option when traveling alone.

Once on board the ship, solo cruisers will have countless options to engage and socialize with other travelers. When it comes to dining with Royal Caribbean , make a reservation at the Japanese restaurant Teppanyaki for an entertaining meal with new friends, or join fellow foodies for the intimate Chef's Table experience (the dining venues vary by ship). Singles can also participate in onboard activities like trivia contests, drink seminars, escape rooms, dance classes and pool parties.

If you need more thrills to stay busy and to meet people, Royal Caribbean's ships feature world-class shows and entertainment alongside adrenaline-pumping rides and attractions. If you're sailing in the Caribbean, there are plenty of opportunities to meet and chat with other passengers at the line's private island, Perfect Day at CocoCay.

Compare Royal Caribbean International cruises on GoToSea.

Atlas Ocean Voyages

Luxury line Atlas Ocean Voyages offers single cruisers 183 square feet of beautifully appointed space in solo accommodations that come without single supplement fees. These ocean view staterooms feature a queen bed, a panoramic picture window, a private spa bathroom with a rain shower and body jets, a stocked minifridge replenished daily with personal favorites, and other luxurious amenities. Single guests can also book other stateroom or suite categories with single supplements starting at 50% of the double occupancy price.

The line's three intimate yacht-style cruise ships – World Navigator, World Traveller and the new World Voyager, whose inaugural season begins in Antarctica in November 2023 – are all-inclusive . Meals at all the dining venues, premium beverages and wines, gratuities, culturally immersive excursions, and more are included in the fare. With fewer than 200 guests on board, there's an atmosphere of conviviality on these ships – especially when exploring remote destinations with like-minded and adventurous travelers during expeditions in Antarctica and the Arctic.

Read: The Top Cruises on Small Ships

Celebrity Cruises

Celebrity Cruises' new Edge-class ships offer some of the best options for solo cruisers. The line's two newest vessels, Celebrity Beyond and Celebrity Ascent (set to debut in late 2023), each boast 32 single staterooms with an Infinite Veranda. In addition, Celebrity Apex has 24 solo cabins, and Celebrity Edge features 16 staterooms for individual guests. These one-person accommodations offer a minimum of 131 square feet of space and the same upscale amenities you'll find in other category staterooms on their ships. Solo guests can look for special promotions where the single supplement is waived on select Celebrity voyages throughout the year.

Once on board the vessel, check out the daily program for activities conducive to meeting others – like wine tastings, cocktail-making classes and more. You'll also enjoy thrilling top-notch entertainment around the ship in The Theatre, The Club and Eden. A few popular cruises for singles are the line's Caribbean and Mexico itineraries on Celebrity Beyond.

Book a Celebrity Cruise on GoToSea.

Virgin Voyages

The hip vibe on board the adults-only Virgin Voyages ships is ideal for solo cruisers looking to meet other travelers. Its superyacht-style ships – Scarlet Lady, Valiant Lady and Resilient Lady – offer 40 interior cabins ranging in size from 105 to 177 square feet. There are also six Sea View staterooms with portholes boasting between 130 to 190 square feet of space. These Insider and Sea View cabins are designed and priced for single travelers, with amenities like high-tech mood lighting and roomy rain showers. The line also runs promotions where solo cruisers can book double occupancy staterooms without paying a single supplement.

Activities and festival-like entertainment around the ships foster fast friendships. Diners will enjoy the interactive experience at Gunbae, the lively Korean barbecue venue. The "grog walk" is a fun pub stroll where solo sailors can join fellow mates while sipping and snacking their way through all the signature bars. For even more fun, check out the evening shipwide events such as the themed Scarlet Party, which features live music and immersive experiences. The line also hosts meetups for singles throughout each voyage.

Read: The Top Adults-Only Cruises

Avalon Waterways

Avalon Waterways' river and small-ship cruises traverse waterways around the world, including in Europe, Asia, Africa and South America. The company waives the single supplement on a selection of staterooms, including its Panorama Suites, on select European and Asia departures. The company recommends booking early as the specially priced cabins do sell out. Solo travelers make up about 10% of the passengers on this river cruise line .

Avalon's fleet of Suite Ships operates in Europe and Southeast Asia and features cabins with a minimum of 172 square feet. About 80% of the staterooms are Panorama Suites, which have 200 feet of living space, beds with a view and the river cruise industry's only open-air balcony. With Avalon excursions, solo cruisers have opportunities to meet like-minded guests during immersive tours, cooking classes, wine tastings, yoga or fitness classes, biking or hiking trips, and more. Single guests can choose to dine at tables for just two people or ones that can accommodate up to eight passengers.

Read: Cruise Packing List: Essentials for Your Next Cruise

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AmaWaterways

Two single occupancy staterooms are available on four of AmaWaterways' river cruise ships: AmaDolce, AmaDante, AmaLyra and AmaCello. These accommodations do not have single supplement fees. Solo cruisers can also book staterooms with a 20% single supplement on select sailings in Europe and Southeast Asia. (Note that this pricing does not apply to certain stateroom categories and suites.)

With the friendly, small-ship atmosphere, solo cruisers will find it comfortable to socialize with other passengers and the crew. Onboard activities and immersive excursions also create opportunities for fostering friendships, especially among like-minded travelers. Excellent options for solo cruises include themed sailings centered around music and wine or the magical Christmas markets itineraries along the Danube, Rhone and Rhine rivers.

Explore AmaWaterways deals on GoToSea.

Lines with discounted supplement fares

Azamara's special offers for solo travelers include reduced single supplements of 25% to 50% of the double occupancy rate on select sailings. The line's four midsized sister ships – carrying no more than 700 passengers – are mostly all-inclusive. Amenities included in the cruise fare include most meals; standard spirits, wines and beers; bottled water, soft drinks, and specialty teas and coffees; shuttle service in port; gratuities; and complimentary AzAmazing Evenings ashore or Destination Celebration experiences on the ship. Dining at the two specialty restaurants is an additional cost unless guests have accommodations in the Club World Owner's Suites, Club Ocean Suite or Club Continent Suite.

Single guests on Azamara cruises will find events during the sailing and venues around the ship where you can mix and mingle with other solo travelers and chat with the friendly crew. Intimate and culturally immersive excursions also create opportunities to meet passengers with similar interests. Azamara Onward, the latest ship, boasts the new Atlas Bar, a great spot to meet other travelers.

For itineraries, Azamara's signature "Country-Intensive Voyages" are a favorite of solo cruisers, including the 10- or 11-night Greece Intensive Voyage. For an extended sailing, check out the festive 12-night Carnival in Rio Voyage, which features a stop in Rio de Janeiro during the city's famed Carnival.

Compare Azamara cruises on GoToSea.

Cunard Line

Cunard Line features dedicated solo staterooms on its three ships, priced at approximately 166% to 174% of the equivalent double occupancy cruise fare. Guests can choose between a spacious Britannia Inside or Britannia Oceanview cabin, or opt for a larger stateroom with a single supplement. For a little "me time" pampering while on board, solos will appreciate 24-hour room service, complimentary Penhaligon's toiletries and a chilled bottle of sparkling wine. Single guests will also be invited to get-togethers. You can either dine alone at venues around the ship such as the main dining room or choose to share a table with other passengers.

With an international mix of travelers, single cruisers will find many opportunities to meet and chat with others, especially during a Transatlantic Crossing. During the sailing, you'll find many enriching and relaxing activities that encourage socializing. According to Cunard , there's a sense of camaraderie and a passion around the voyage – and the unique travel experience of crossing the Atlantic Ocean.

Find a Cunard Line cruise on GoToSea.

Silversea Cruises

Luxury line Silversea Cruises offers 25% single supplements on various voyages throughout the year, including expedition cruises to destinations like the Galápagos Islands , Antarctica and the Arctic, and Greenland. The line's all-inclusive fares include luxurious ocean view suites, gourmet dining, complimentary wines and spirits, gratuities, onboard enrichment and entertainment, shore excursions, and more. Solo travelers will even have personalized butler service to indulge their every whim.

The line's fleet of a dozen intimate ships, carrying no more than 728 guests, offers a clubby atmosphere perfect for meeting solo and like-minded travelers. Single guests will also have the opportunity to engage with other solo passengers during a welcome reception with Champagne at the beginning of each voyage. Popular itineraries for Silversea's single cruisers include its Transoceanic journeys, a bucket list trip for many cruisers .

Explore Silversea Cruises deals on GoToSea.

Seabourn has special offers throughout the year where solo cruisers can take advantage of reduced pricing equal to double occupancy fares or discounts on the single supplement starting at 25% above the double occupancy fares. These rates are available on select voyages, including expedition cruises. Frequent solo cruisers and members of the luxury line's Seabourn Club Diamond Elite will also find reduced single supplements on Diamond Elite Single Supplement Sailings. In addition, club members receive invitations to exclusive events, where they can meet and mingle with fellow cruisers. Solo passengers are also invited to sit with the ship's officers, crew and entertainers at dinner – and there are hosted get-togethers for single travelers.

Solo cruisers will enjoy beautifully designed oceanfront suites and all-inclusive amenities on board Seabourn 's intimate ships. These perks include world-class dining; complimentary premium wine and spirits; a spa and wellness program in partnership with Dr. Andrew Weil; included gratuities; and the line's enrichment series, Seabourn Conversations. Single cruisers looking for an extended holiday will enjoy longer voyages on the line's newest purpose-built expedition ship, Seabourn Pursuit.

Compare Seabourn cruises on GoToSea.

Why Trust U.S. News Travel

Gwen Pratesi has been an avid cruiser since her early 20s. She has visited destinations around the globe on nearly every type of ship built, including the newest megaships, luxury yachts, expedition vessels, traditional masted sailing ships and intimate river ships on the Mekong River. She used extensive research and experience as a solo cruiser to write this article. Pratesi covers the travel and culinary industries for major publications, including U.S. News & World Report.

You might also be interested in:

• The Top Party Cruises
• The Top Transatlantic Cruises
• The Top 3-Day Cruise Itineraries
• Solo Travel for Women: The Best Places and Tips
• The Best Cruise Insurance Plans

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• VIDEO: Celebrity Cruises unveils "Nothing Comes Close" brand...

VIDEO: Celebrity Cruises unveils "Nothing Comes Close" brand positioning

Celebrity Cruises extends an invitation to travelers seeking elevated experiences at sea, unveiling its new brand positioning, "Nothing Comes Close SM," globally premiering on April 8. This initiative follows the successful debut of Celebrity Ascent ship in 2023-Q4 and the upcoming launch of Celebrity Xcel in 2025.

"Nothing Comes Close" encapsulates Celebrity's commitment to delivering premium journeys that blend intimate, attentive service with the excitement of larger ships. This brand ethos permeates all aspects of the cruise line, from media campaigns to travel advisor interactions and onboard experiences, promising unparalleled vacations that intrigue, exceed expectations, and offer unique encounters.

Laura Hodges Bethge, President of Celebrity Cruises, emphasized the sentiment shared by guests, acknowledging that Celebrity vacations evoke unmatched feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment. The brand's new positioning aims to encapsulate this sentiment compellingly and memorably.

The creative execution of "Nothing Comes Close" employs a distinctive visual style dubbed 'True Eye View,' which immerses viewers in the unique perspectives of Celebrity guests, fostering curiosity and a sense of presence in the moment. This approach captures the essence of a Celebrity vacation and sets the brand apart in the industry.

Michael Scheiner (Celebrity's Senior VP and CMO/Chief Marketing Officer) said that the campaign is not just a marketing initiative but a reflection of the brand's identity. It embodies the elevated emotions and transformative experiences guests encounter from the moment they step onboard a Celebrity voyage.

The launch of "Nothing Comes Close" is supported by a comprehensive media strategy designed to engage audiences across various touchpoints. Through clever messaging and authentic imagery, Celebrity reaffirms its position as a brand that forges deep emotional connections with its guests, setting itself apart in the cruising landscape.