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Estimated Price POA-Length: 258.5m Passenger Beds: 2,004/2,450 - Passenger Cabins: 1002

Estimated Charter Price: US$: POA Length: 220m Passenger Beds: 1,308/1,680 - Passenger Cabins: 648

Estimated Price: US$ 40 million - Length: 180.7m Passenger Beds: 832/927 - Passenger Cabins: 416

Estimated Price: US$17 million - Length: 183.4m Passenger Beds: 680/720 - Passenger Cabins: 258 SOLD - NO LONGER AVAILABLE

Estimated Price: US$3.5 million - Length: 78.30m Passenger Beds: 138 - Passenger Cabins: 68

Estimated Price: US$14 million - Length: 162m Passenger Beds: 952/1,452 - Passenger Cabins: 476

Estimated Price: Euros: 6.5 million - Length: 139.30m Passenger Beds: 412 - Passenger Cabins: 206

Estimated Price: US$: 100 million - Length: 279m Passenger Beds: 1,998/2,417 - Passenger Cabins: 999

Modern Cruise Ship Built 2005 2,375 Pax 93,502 GT  

Estimated Price: US$ 30 million - Length: 174m Passenger Beds: 650 - Passenger Cabins: 324

Estimated Price: US$ 100 million - Length: 279m Passenger Beds: 2,393 - Passenger Cabins: 997

Estimated Price: US$ 150 million - Length: 294m Passenger Beds: 2,170/2,556 - Passenger Cabins: 942

Estimated Price: US$ 125 million - Length: 294m Passenger Beds: 2170/2556 - Passenger Cabins: 1016

Estimated Price: US$ 30 million - Length: 175m Passenger Beds: 520/638 - Passenger Cabins: 288

Estimated Price: GBP 14.5 million - Length: 195.82m Passenger Beds: 520/638 - Passenger Cabins: 288 SOLD - NO LONGER AVAILABLE

Estimated Price: US$ 29 million - Length: 135.1m Passenger Beds: 300 - Passenger Cabins: 190

Estimated Price: US$6.5 million - Length: 88.3m Passenger Beds: 100/120 - Passenger Cabins: 50

This ship is no longer available, please contact us for other suggestions. Estimated Price: US$35 million - Length: 219m Passenger Beds: 1,350/1,715 - Passenger Cabins: 675 -

Estimated Charter Price: POA - Length: 180.7m Passenger Beds: 832/927 - Passenger Cabins: 416

Estimated Price: POA - Length: 294m Passenger Beds: 2,340/2,808 - Passenger Cabins: 1170

Estimated Price: US$ 4.75 million - Length: 73.70m Passenger Beds: 130 - Passenger Cabins: 63

Estimated Price: US$ 28 million - Length: 90.6m Passenger Beds: 44 - Passenger Cabins: 22 Mega Yacht / Cruise Ship

Estimated Price: US$ 95 million - Length: 262.2m Passenger Beds: 2,016/2,272 - Passenger Cabins: 1008

This vessel is no longer available. Contact us for an alternative ship. Estimated Price: US$ 35 million - Length: 268.30m Passenger Beds: 2,354/2,744 - Passenger Cabins: 1177

Estimated Price: US$ 40 million - Length: 181.4m Passenger Beds: 836/1,275 - Passenger Cabins: 418

Length: 294.13m Passenger Beds: 2,348/2,813 - Passenger Cabins: 1174

Modern Cruise Ship Built 2002 Approx. 1500 Pax

SOLD - No Longer Available - Length: 91.44m Passenger Beds: 205 - Passenger Cabins: 101 MAJOR PRICE REDUCTION

Estimated Price: GBP4,400,000 - Length: 45.0m Passenger Beds: 40 - Passenger Cabins: 20

Modern Cruise Ship Built 2001 Approx. 2400 Pax

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Estimated Price: US$11.55 million - Length: 139.55m Passenger Beds: 240 - Passenger Cabins: 128

Estimated Price: US$4.5 million - Length: 86.5m Passenger Beds: 105 - Passenger Cabins: 47

Estimated Price: US$15 million - Length: 90.6m Passenger Beds: 114 - Passenger Cabins: 54

Estimated Price: US$15.75 - Length: 124.22m Passenger Beds: 252 - Passenger Cabins: 113

Estimated Price: POA - Length: 137.10m Passenger Beds: 325/577 - Passenger Cabins: 164

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Estimated Price: US$45 million - Length: 174m Passenger Beds: 1,190 - Passenger Cabins: 320 - Lane Meters: 1,950

Estimated Price: US$45 million - Length: 166.7m Passenger Beds: 1,212 - Passenger Cabins: 325 - Lane Meters: 915

Estimated Price: US$6 million - Length: 47.5m Passenger Seating: 413 - Passenger Cabins: 0 - Lane Meters: 0

Estimated Price: US$35 million - Length: 166.7m Passenger Beds: 1,700 - Passenger Cabins: 647

Estimated Price: POA - Length: 211.5m Passenger Beds: 2,148 - Passenger Cabins: 567

Estimated Price: US$ 1 million - Length: 42.28m Tour / Dinner / Passenger Yacht

Estimated Price: Euros 10 million - Length: 149.19m Passenger Beds: 1,250 - Passenger Cabins:

Estimated Price: Euros 23 million - Length: 169m Passenger Beds: 1786- Passenger Cabins: 522 Lane Meters: 750

Estimated Price: US$20 million - Length: 175.40m Passenger Beds: 1,606 - Passenger Cabins: 550 - Lane Meters: 1,700

Estimated Price: POA million - Length: 211.50m Passenger Beds: 2,148 - Passenger Cabins: 567 - Lane Meters: 2,800

Estimated Price: US$75 million - Length: 175m Passenger Beds: - Passenger Cabins: 320 - Lane Meters: 1,950

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Which Cruise Line Should I Sail? The Definitive Guide for 2024

Which cruise line should you sail for your vacation? When it comes to selecting the right one for you, it can feel a bit like car shopping.

Say you want a new SUV. You have options from dozens of car makers. You have to narrow the list down by price range, reliability, cost, and more. You can quickly feel overwhelmed, and your head spins from all the choices.

While cruise lines aren’t as numerous as car companies, there are still lots to choose from. Passengers new to cruising can easily get overwhelmed by the choices, not sure of what the difference is between them all. Is a cruise on Carnival the same as a cruise on Princess? Is a cruise on Royal Caribbean the same as a cruise on Celebrity?

If you’re a first-time cruiser and feeling overwhelmed by which cruise line you should sail, don’t worry — you’re not alone. We’ve created this guide to give you a better idea of each major cruise line — including who the line is perfect for — so that you can pick the right one for your vacation.

In This Article...

Overview: What to Consider in a Cruise Line

Before we can get into the ins and outs of each cruise line and which one you should sail, we need to cover what factors to consider.

The good news? While you have a lot of choices, overall cruise lines are remarkably similar. In fact, you can expect most aspects of your trip to be the same. Different cruise lines are more like different airlines. There are noticeable differences, but the experiences is largely similar. That means you won’t have to worry about picking the wrong line; the worst “fit” cruise line is still likely to be a lot of fun for you.

That said, there are differences between the lines that can make one perfect for you. In particular, we suggest cruise passengers look at the five following areas:

Atmosphere What is the atmosphere on a cruise ship? For lack of a better term, this is the “feel” of the ship. Is the vibe like a party? Or is it more refined and elegant? If you don’t wear a tie to dinner will you feel out of place? Or is anything more than flip-flips and shorts considered to be too dressy?

Each cruise line has a different feel that they have onboard. Just like the difference between a casual hotel and a fancy hotel, different atmospheres appeal to different passengers.

Activities Needless to say, different cruise passengers are interested in different activities. Some folks are happy to just sit poolside, soak up some sun and read a book. Others need a thrill-a-minute and want to do things like waterslides, play games, and even drive go-karts on a cruise ship. Still others want cultural things to do like learning about ports of call or attending cooking classes.

The mega-lines like Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and Norwegian have moved toward offering lots of adrenaline-pumping activities that younger passengers will enjoy. The luxury lines like Princess and Celebrity aim more toward classic cruise activities enjoyed by older audiences.

Passenger Focus Perhaps the biggest difference between cruise lines has to do with the passenger focus. This relates to what sort of passengers the cruise line caters and markets to. In other words, who will you be sailing with on the ship?

Some cruise lines focus on luxury — aiming to attract older, wealthier passengers. The mass-market cruise lines focus on everyone, from families to Spring Breakers to couples celebrating their 50th anniversary. Obviously with so many people on a ship, who you sail with has a big impact on the right cruise line for you.

Ships Over the past decade the cruise industry has seen an arms race among ships. The modern cruise ship is completely different than those found just a few years ago. They are larger, more luxurious, and have more amenities/activities by far. And with the cruise ship being one of the most important factors in the enjoyment of your cruise (after all, you spend the majority of your vacation onboard), then a cruise line with a fleet of bigger and newer ships is important.

Price When it comes down to it, so many people love cruising because it offers a lot of value for the price. Where else can you travel to distant ports — playing hopscotch with tropical beaches — and not break the bank? Truth is, however, that you can spend as much as you want on a cruise and some lines appeal to those looking to spend a bit more while others appeal to budget-conscious cruisers. Picking the right cruise line for your budget can make a big difference.

So which cruise line should you sail? Below we’ve profiled each major line — including who is most apt to enjoy it — paying special attention to the factors mentioned above .

Carnival Cruise Line

As one of the largest cruise lines, if you’ve searched for a cruise at all then chances are you’ve come across an offering from Carnival. Each year millions of passengers sail the cruise line, known for its highly affordable prices and fun atmosphere. Some trips sail for as little as a couple of hundred dollars per person. It’s also a popular choice as for-purchase items like drinks, specialty restaurants, internet and other things are relatively inexpensive compared to rivals.

It’s not just price that makes Carnival so attractive to many passengers. The line offers more homeports than any other, including smaller ports of call like Baltimore, Charleston, and Mobile. That means a cruise is within driving distance for millions more people.

Known as the “Fun Ships,” the vibe on Carnival is always relaxed and never stuffy or formal. If you’re looking for casual, this is it. That relaxed atmosphere along with a low price point means you get a wide range of passengers, ranging from families with kids to college-aged kids and those simply wanting a getaway without spending a fortune.

Now across the fleet, Carnival doesn’t have the reputation for having as many high-octane things to do on the ship as its main rival Royal Caribbean if you’re looking for the most activities. Still, the ships offer lots to do in a classic cruise sense — including tons of bars, restaurants, and pools. As well, following the health crisis, a number of older ships were sold, while new ships — like Mardi Gras and Carnival Celebration — are offering more things to do and a bigger space.

Who Carnival Is Right For: Carnival is ideal for those wanting to have a good time while not spending a ton of money. It offers a great value. With so many ships and ports, the line also makes it easy to find a cruise that fits any schedule. The cruise line has something for all ages and for families, singles, and couples. If you’re looking for luxury, Carnival likely isn’t it, but it’s still a great “all-around” cruise line.

Who Carnival Is Wrong For: If you’re wanting high-end and luxurious, other cruise lines offer better options. Carnival is known for being budget friendly, and that also comes at a cost of more people on the ship given the size.

Read: 12 Major Differences Between Carnival and Royal Caribbean

Royal Caribbean

When it comes to size of ships, Royal Caribbean is the clear leader. All six of the largest cruise ships in the world are from Royal Caribbean. (Utopia of the Seas coming in mid-2024 will make it seven of the largest.)

Those large ships are much more than just bigger vessels to carry more passengers. The cruise line also pushes the envelope for things to do on its ships.

It’s Royal Caribbean that offers the tallest slide at sea (The Great Abyss), along with the Flowrider standing waves, Splashaway Bay, NorthStar (an observation pod that goes high above the ship), ice skating rinks, laser tag, any number of bars, restaurants, and pools. In short, Royal Caribbean takes top prize when it comes to its ships and the things to do for anyone in the entire family.

The atmosphere on the ship is also enviable. It’s largely relaxed, but with hints of luxury. During the day, shorts and flip-flops are the order, but nights can turn more elegant. Spots around the ship vary from completely casual to much more refined. The feel in our opinion is a step above Carnival in luxury, without going overboard.

For all this you’ll pay a higher price. Older ships on Royal Caribbean often have cheap fares, but you will usually pay a premium to sail on the newer, larger ships.

Royal Caribbean is a mass-market cruise line, which has appeal to everyone. Families with kids will especially like the number of things to do for children, but no matter who you are, there is something for you to enjoy.

Who Royal Caribbean Is Right For: Those wanting a more luxurious cruise while still keeping the casual atmosphere. Royal Caribbean is nice, without feeling stuffy. Everyone from kids to retirees will find something to like on the ship, and there is never a risk of being bored given the large size and number of things to do.

Who Royal Caribbean Is Wrong For: If you’re someone that likes quiet and calm on your cruise, this likely isn’t the line for you. There are definite calmer spaces, but it’s a high-energy line. As well, if you don’t like big ships with lots of other people, it may not be a fit.

One note: While often ships within a fleet are very similar, we believe there is a marked difference in the experience of Royal Caribbean’s largest Oasis and Icon-class ships. We’d recommend them to anyone looking for the best of what Royal has to offer.

Read: Major Differences Between Royal Caribbean and Norwegian

Norwegian Cruise Lines

Norwegian rounds out what we consider the “big three” cruise lines, along with Carnival and Royal Caribbean. These three lines have a firm hold on the majority of the cruise market. And while Norwegian is the smallest of the three, it has a lot to like.

In terms of ships, Norwegian’s aren’t as large as its rival Royal Caribbean, but they are still plenty big.

As well, the cruise line continues to push the envelope with onboard activities. Its newest ships have noteworthy features like go-kart tracks and extreme waterslides jutting out over the edge of the ship. There are also features like laser tag arenas and virtual reality experiences.

Norwegian — like its main competitors — is a mass-market cruise line. That means it will appeal to all ages and types with lots to do for everyone. The atmosphere on the ship is comfortable, with a relaxed vibe that has touches of luxury.

That said, newer ships (including its Prima class) point toward more of a focus on luxury. This is especially true with The Haven. This is NCL’s “resort within a resort” that features more upscale amenities that are private only to Haven guests.

You’ll also find that the general prices on the ship are higher than its two main competitors, which helps to stem some of the “party” atmosphere you might find elsewhere, but means you’ll spend more on your cruise. 

One other thing to know? NCL has appeal for solo travelers, including offering studio rooms designed for only a single guest.

Who Norwegian Is Right For: Norwegian is ideal for those wanting large ships with lots to do, but are willing to pay a higher price than some other lines. For instance, a drink package on Carnival is around $60 per day, versus nearly $110 per day on NCL.

Newer ships will have more to do compared to older vessels and are ideal for everyone from families to empty-nesters. Just know that they are generally more luxurious than you’ll find with other large lines. Look at the cruise line’s Haven suites if you are looking for a more luxurious trip. 

Cruising solo? Many NCL ships offer studios that don’t have a double occupancy charge.

Who Norwegian Is Wrong For: If you don’t book one of the cruise line’s “Free at Sea” offers that bundle things like drink packages into the fare, be prepared to spend. Rates for many things from drink packages to gratuities are higher than what you find on most other large lines.

Read: Major Differences Between Norwegian and Carnival

Princess Cruises

So far we’ve discussed the large cruise lines that try to appeal to everyone. However, not every cruise line aims to do that. Case in point is Princess Cruises. While anyone and everyone is welcome aboard, it definitely aims to appeal to those wanting a more luxurious and relaxing vacation. For instance, not everyone looks for a cruise line that serves afternoon tea like Princess does.

While the ships have plenty to do, they don’t try to go over-the-top with things like go-karts and roller coasters. Instead, the focus is on more enriching activities like stargazing on the top deck of the ship, musical productions, and fine dining.

Everywhere you turn there are smaller touches designed to pamper guests. For example, the ships have the “Princess Luxury Bed” that’s a step above what you’ll find on most cruise ships. There is also free room service for many, a rarity on most lines.

As for ships, the cruise line’s newest ship holds about 4,300 passengers. Many new cruise ships hold between 5,000-6,000 passengers. Older ships from Princess hold even fewer passengers.

What’s interesting is that while there are fewer economies of scale with smaller ships and the line aims for more luxury, prices for Princess are not that much higher than the major cruise lines. In other words you can sail in luxury for only a little more. Itineraries for Princess are also global, meaning more trips to and from faraway places versus what’s seen with mass-market lines.

Who Princess Is Right For: Those who will feel most at home are affluent passengers who enjoy the finer things in life. There are lots of amenities for families, but the cruise line is aimed toward older passengers looking for a more refined experience. Anyone can have fun on the ship and enjoy their vacation, but expect an older crowd in many cases.

Who Princess Is Wrong For: If you’re a family with active kids, we think other lines will be better. There are areas that cater to children, but the high-octane fun like waterslides and roller coasters aren’t part of the fabric of Princess.

While Princess is the luxury cruise line owned by Carnival Corporation, Celebrity is the luxury line owned by Royal Caribbean. In the many ways you’ll find similarities between Royal Caribbean and Carnival, you’ll also find similar experiences on Princess and Celebrity.

The cruise line has a definite focus on luxury and service, with an atmosphere aimed toward more refined travelers. For instance, while some cruise lines boast about their rock-climbing walls or laser tag, Celebrity mentions famous chefs, a ballet company, and glass-blowing classes on their ships.

And while kids are of course welcome, your other passengers are most likely to be older and more affluent. In other words, kids might be more bored on a Celebrity cruise compared to some of the family-oriented lines.

Celebrity has made a splash with recent new ships. Most notable is the Celebrity Edge, Apex, Beyond, and Ascent, ships that have set a new mark in luxury. Its most famous feature is the “Magic Carpet” — a platform on the side of the ship at goes up and down decks providing a one-of-a-kind experience. As well, older ships are undergoing the “Celebrity Revolution” — a $500 million upgrade plan across the fleet to redesign and add new features.

As you would expect, Celebrity charges a premium for its cruises. It’s definitely a “pay more, get more” situation. That said, the prices aren’t that much more than a cruise on a budget-focused line. We found trips to be a few hundred dollars more than what you’ll find with other carriers. Celebrity also offers an “Always Included” deal that includes a drink package, and wi-fi with your cruise fare.

Who Celebrity Is Right For: As with Princess, we think older and/or more affluent passengers who want a more refined and relaxing experience will be a fit for Celebrity. If you’re the sort of person who wants to enjoy the spa and sip champagne without lots of noise or kids around, then the cruise line might be for you.

Who Celebrity Is Wrong For: Want to sail for cheap? Or maybe you sail with kids? That’s not really the Celebrity style, which focuses more on a higher-end price point. Kids are definitely welcome, but we think other cruise lines would offer more for them to enjoy.

If you have kids and are interested in cruising, then you’ve no doubt thought about a Disney cruise. The company known for its theme parks, movies, and resorts is also in the cruising business. And those touches you’d expect from Disney make their way to the ships.

For one, the style of Disney cruise ships is unlike any other cruise line’s vessels. The ships have a distinctive “retro” style (despite being modern vessels) that harken back to the elegance of cruising in the early days.

Of course, you’d expect a Disney cruise to be focused on children and families, and it certainly is. Characters like Mickey and Donald Duck roam the ship and there are other experiences with Disney-owned properties like Marvel and Star Wars. While there is plenty for mom and dad to do — such as the spa, adults-only eateries, and nightclubs — we think that only adults who are very into Disney would think of sailing the cruise line without kids.

Notably, we’ve heard mention that drinks are not as free-flowing as you’ll find on most cruise ships and Disney cruise ships don’t have casinos. In other words, if you want a more “adult” time, then you likely want to look for another cruise line.

You might expect given the cost of visiting Disney World it would be pricey to sail on the ship. You’re right. Of all the major cruise lines, we’ve found Disney to be the highest priced. For example, we found four-night cruises in July (peak season), which might be $400-$600 on most cruise lines selling for about $1,500-$2,000 per person on Disney. That’s a high price to pay, but many people rave about the service and experience on a Disney cruise.

Who Disney Is Right For: You guessed it. Disney cruises are ideal for those families wanting to have a vacation that the kids will remember. The price is expensive compared to other cruise lines, so you’ll want to be willing to open up your wallet for the experience.

Who Disney Is Wrong For: On a budget? Then you’ll feel the pinch sailing a Disney cruise. While the experience gets rave reviews, there’s no doubt that it also comes with a premium price tag.

MSC Cruises

In the U.S., MSC Cruises is a relatively small player. However, globally MSC is a major cruise line… and it’s making big inroads into the United States. If you plan to sail from Miami, Port Canaveral, or New York, then you can book a cruise aboard the line. In the years ahead, don’t be surprised if MSC offers more departure ports.

So what is MSC like? In some ways it is similar to other mass-market cruise lines. You can expect ships with tons to do; popular spots like the pools, waterslides, spas, buffets, and more are all there. The experience is designed to appeal to everyone. Whether you are sailing as a family or a romantic couple’s getaway — and anything in-between — then you’ll have a good time.

But there are some things that make MSC very different than its rivals.

Perhaps the biggest difference is that since MSC has a large presence in the global cruise market, many passengers hail from outside the United States. While cruises from the U.S. on most lines are largely filled with American passengers, on MSC you’ll find all nationalities.

And because of its clientele and roots in Europe, there are definite touches that feel different than other lines. For instance, announcements are made in several languages and evening shows are more “old-school” in many cases. This includes lots of singing, dancing, and acrobatics compared to full-scale productions put on by some lines. (Some ships have Cirque shows.) In short, even if you depart from Miami, you may feel like you are sailing in Europe instead of the Caribbean.

One area that MSC is decidedly different is cost. Trips are typically less expensive than what you’ll see on other lines, even compared to budget-friendly cruises like Carnival. We’ve found 7-day cruises for just $300 per person (before taxes and fees).

Low prices also extend to once you are on the ship. Drink prices are typically a couple of bucks cheaper than rival cruise lines, and gratuities are also less than rivals.

Now some of these lower prices may be a way to encourage more people to try out the cruise line since it’s not well-known in the United States just yet. In other words, they could increase in the years ahead. For now, however, MSC offers one of the best deals in cruising.

Who MSC Is Right For: Anyone can find a good time on MSC. Those who will especially enjoy the cruise line are people looking for a great value and who are willing to try something new because the price is right. We’re also big fans of their private island, Ocean Cay .

Who MSC Is Wrong For: The old adage is you get what you pay for. In the case of MSC, we feel like it’s a great value, but there is a feeling that it’s almost too inexpensive. It can feel understaffed and spots on the ship can feel generic (such as the sports bar, named Sports Bar) compared to the investment made by other lines.

Virgin Voyages

A new player to the cruise scene, Virgin Voyages had planned to start sailing in 2020, but that was delayed due to the health crisis. The cruise line finally saw its first ship — Scarlet Lady — set to sea in 2021.

Of all the cruise lines featured here, Virgin is without a doubt the most unique . The cruise line does things very different from any other line, from the way the ship looks to the onboard experience, to its fares.

The line takes an approach to appeal to younger adult cruise passengers. It is adults-only, with no kids allowed. It’s also modern and trendy, featuring more risque entertainment options, more of a focus on wellness, and other touches. In addition, shorter cruises — more popular with younger passengers — are most common. But don’t think you have to be young and hip to sail. It’s open and welcoming to any age over 18.

There is no buffet; tips, wi-fi, and all food are included in the fare; and there is even a tattoo parlor on the ship. As well, the design of the ship is like a trendy Vegas hotel, complete with “RockStar Quarters” for suites that include your own record player.

In short, if you’ve ever thought that cruising was stodgy or old-fashioned, then Virgin Voyages is designed to break that stereotype.

Who Virgin Voyages Is Right For:  If you see the appeal of cruising — warm weather, beautiful destinations, all-inclusive — but thought that it was a bit old-fashioned, then Virgin Voyages may be ideal. The line does things differently than most other lines, making it more akin to a trendy Vegas resort than a typical cruise ship.  

Who Virgin Voyages Is Wrong For:  If you like the “traditional” cruise experience with things like conga lines or belly flop contests or buffets, then Virgin isn’t a great fit. It aims to be welcoming, but also simply “cooler” than that sort of classic cruise style. As well, anyone with kids obviously can’t sail.

Picking the Right Line

Here’s the good news — no matter which cruise line you pick, the odds are in your favor that you’ll have a great time. In large part the experience across lines is similar. They all aim to give you a great vacation with similar ports of call and the allure of foreign ports.

With that said, there are some bigger picture things we’d suggest considering.

If you are wanting to have a more active time with a festive atmosphere, then look toward the mass-market lines such as Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and others. These ships aim to please everyone, and generally have a more diverse crowd of ages and things to do.

If you’re more interested in having a peaceful, relaxing time, then you can still find those on mass-market lines, but might appreciate higher-end cruise lines such as Princess or Celebrity. These lines focus more on luxury.

Should cost be the biggest concern, then you’ll find the best deals typically with Carnival and MSC. Other lines tend to be more pricey, although they may have deals.

Finally, keep the port of departure in mind. The larger lines like Carnival and Royal Caribbean have more ships, which means more departure ports. For example, they both sail out of Galveston, Texas, while other lines don’t or only have limited options. It may be that the convenience of a ship sailing from a port within driving distance is worth selecting one cruise line over another.

Related Articles:

• Complete Guide to Sailing Carnival Cruise Line (What It’s Like)
• Complete Guide to Sailing Royal Caribbean (What It’s Like)
• Complete Guide to Sailing Norwegian Cruise Line (What It’s Like)
• Explained: Major Differences Between Princess & Other Cruise Lines
• 12 Big Differences Between Celebrity Cruises and Royal Caribbean
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The best cruise ships with sails

Published 23rd January 2023 in Cruise Advice By Edwina Lonsdale /cruise-news/cruise-advice/best-cruise-ships-sails

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Picture this if you will - you have embarked in Barbados for a Caribbean cruise on a spacious cruise liner. You have a lovely cabin with its own balcony, but you decide to go up on deck for your sailaway party. Looking out across the harbour, drink in hand, you spot the most extraordinary sight. Proudly leaving the harbour under full sail, a beautiful tall ship glides through the water, sails rippling in the breeze. Are you stricken with cruise envy? If so, this is the article for you. These are the best cruise ships with sails.

A sailing cruise ship is not for everyone, but if it ticks your boxes, you have a few options to choose from...

Windstar Cruises

Following a major refurbishment in November 2019, Windstar's flagship sailing cruise ship Wind Surf re-entered service with crisp new sails. Nearly half a football field's worth of sturdy Dacron sail-cloth measuring 21,570 square feet was hand-crafted in France by the team of maritime designers and artisans at Incidence Sails, premier designers in the offshore racing and Super Yacht sectors. Indeed the Wind Surf sail project was led by noted designers Stéphane Amiot and Maxime Paul, who sailed for France's Olympic sailing team in the 1992 Olympics.

The computerised sails are self-furling and operate remotely from the Bridge, with fore and aft guidance from the ship's Nautical Officers. Wind Surf has achieved a top speed under sail power alone of an amazing 15.6 knots during a transatlantic ocean crossing. If sailing ship cruises appeal to you, a few options are available. Wind Surf (342 guests) summers in Europe, before crossing the Atlantic for a season in the Caribbean, with a focus on the southerly Leeward and Windward Islands. UK guests love the Barbados round-trips, a perfect speedy fly-cruise winter sailing ship cruises getaway, and great value for money too.

Meanwhile the smaller Wind Star (148 guests) weaves her magic on a sailing cruise in the Greek islands during the summer, the perfect area to explore under sail, and in the winter combines the iconic transit of the Panama Canal with the magical Pacific coast of Costa Rica. In 2024 her sister the Wind Spirit will be operating in the same regions after spending all of 2023 in the lovely South Pacific islands of French Polynesia.

Request a Windstar Cruises brochure >

The only French flagged cruise line, Ponant, offer some of the best cruise ships in the industry - they have a fleet of sleek and chic motor yachts, and are currently undergoing a remarkable expansion. They are popular, but Ponant regulars remain supremely loyal to the first ship of the fleet, Le Ponant itself (the name means 'setting sun').

Having undergone a complete refit in 2021, when her already small guest numbers where reduced further from 64 to just 32, Le Ponant offers a truly private, welcoming and intimate environment. Sophisticated yet friendly, this ship gives you a little taste of France at sea, for al fresco cruising at its best.

Request a Ponant brochure >

Sea Cloud Cruises

Tall ships Sea Cloud and Sea Cloud II give an authentic taste of classic sailing traditions, and in 2021 they were joined by the newly built Sea Cloud Spirit , a fully rigged three-master. Teak decks, polished wood, sparkling brass and carefully stowed ropes will captivate any sailor.

On these sailing cruise ships, sailing is not just for show - it is a true craft. When the orders ring out over the deck and the crew climb the masts to hoist the sails, e very single manoeuvre marks a centuries-old ritual being brought to life. Combine that with great itineraries, genial fellow guests and the best in service, and you have a winner. The vessels are often chartered, so look out for sailing cruise opportunities in Europe and the Caribbean.

Request a Sea Cloud Cruises brochure >

Star Clippers

The beautiful clipper ships of Star Clippers are unique sailing cruise ships charting a new age of sail, with a passionately loyal following of sail and cruise enthusiasts alike. Royal Clipper , Star Clipper and Star Flyer are modern ships, created for people who love their creature comforts alongside the traditions and romance of the legendary era of sailing ship cruises.

On these ships, you can hide away in the nets at the bow, or even (not for the faint-hearted) climb the mast (with safety harness provided) to one of the passenger lookout crow's nests.

Request a Star Clippers brochure >

As always, if you have any questions or want to chat to us about anything, simply leave an enquiry or give us a call on 020 7399 7670.

Edwina Lonsdale is Managing Director and together with husband Matthew, owner of Mundy Cruising. Most recently she's cruised on Windstar and has also sailed with Silversea, Seabourn, Regent Seven Seas, Crystal, SeaDream, Ponant, AmaWaterways and Aqua Expeditions. Her favourite destination is the Galapagos however she's also enjoyed cruises in the Mediterranean, Danube, Middle East, East Africa & Indian Ocean, Brahmaputra, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, the Mekong, Thailand, Singapore, Malaysia, the Philippines, the Caribbean and the Arctic. When she’s not travelling she loves reading, food and wine.

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Discover adventure from Georgetown to Santorini onboard Odyssey of the Seas℠.

It’s time to see how far adventure can take you. Introducing the first Quantum Ultra Class cruise ship to sail in the U.S – Odyssey of the Seas℠. Enjoy gravity-defying fun on the RipCord® by iFLY® skydiving simulator. Or bond over bumper cars and roller-skating at the largest SeaPlex® ever. Scope out incredible 360-degree views from 300 feet up in the North Star® observation capsule. And experience edge-of-your-seat entertainment at the transformative Two70®. Take adventure to the next level on this Quantum Ultra Class favorite.

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Enjoy the best days of the year with a clear conscience and positive feeling: For more than 40 years, we have been pursuing the principle of sustainable tourism. Traveling with a small number of guests creates space for great things. Meeting people at eye-level in the countries you visit, experiencing cultures, appreciating regional values and creating added value for the region. This is pointing the way ahead because it is in keeping with the times. Because we are firmly convinced that traveling in harmony with nature is possible and necessary.

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Cruise Vessel for sale

Luxury cruise ship.

• Offer type Ship for sale  
• Type Cruise Vessel , 1992  
• Details 268m x 32m  
• Deadweight  
• Asking Price $ 40 000 000  

112m / 164 pax Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 1990  
• Details 111.515m x 17m  
• Deadweight 1226 metric tons  
• Asking Price $ 20 753 380  

215m / 1.595 pax Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 1982  
• Details 214.51m x 28.41m  
• Deadweight 5000 metric tons  
• Asking Price $ 10 000 000  

119m / 100 pax Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 1993  
• Details 118.75m x 11.4m  
• Asking Price $ 4 203 890  

200m / 752 pax Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 1981  
• Details 199.63m x 28.5m  
• Deadweight 5168 metric tons  
• Asking Price Price on request  

Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 2001  
• Details 91m x 15m  
• Asking Price $ 16 500 000  

64m / 42 pax Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 2011  
• Details 64m x 9.5m  
• Deadweight 150 metric tons  
• Asking Price $ 12 771 311  

100m / 132 pax Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 1975  
• Details 100.01m x 16.2m  
• Deadweight 1465 metric tons  

• Type Cruise Vessel , 1980  
• Details 140m x 17m  
• Asking Price $ 5 500 000  

857 ft 2,257 PAX Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 2000  
• Details 261m x 32m  
• Asking Price $ 79 000 000  

• Details 160m x 25m  
• Asking Price $ 15 000 000  

Sailing Cruise Sjip

• Type Cruise Vessel , 2019  
• Details 162m x 18m  
• Asking Price $ 118 000 000  

CRUISE SHIP

• Type Cruise Vessel , 1953  
• Details 95m  
• Asking Price $ 2 200 000  

Expedition Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 1972  
• Details 105m x 19m  
• Asking Price $ 9 750 000  

53m / 52 pax Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 1991  
• Details 52.75m x 12m  
• Deadweight 193 metric tons  
• Asking Price $ 6 385 655  

50m / 60 pax Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 2004  
• Details 49.98m x 10.8m  
• Deadweight 185 metric tons  

56m / 49 pax Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 1985  
• Details 56.105m x 8.2m  
• Deadweight 117 metric tons  
• Asking Price $ 8 514 207  

66m / 72 pax Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 2012  
• Details 65.95m x 11.5m  
• Deadweight 374 metric tons  

126m / 172 pax Cruise Ship

• Type Cruise Vessel , 2020  
• Details 126m x 19m  
• Deadweight 1103 metric tons  
• Asking Price $ 148 998 623  

• Deadweight 1166 metric tons  
• Asking Price $ 105 000 000  

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If you’re looking for a sailing vacation ruled by the sun, moon, and tides, you’ve found it!

Island Windjammers offers six, ten, and twelve-night sailings aboard our classic clipper ship Vela, schooner Diamant, and sailing yacht Lyra! Vela hosts twenty-six guests, Diamant accommodates ten guests, while our new addition Lyra has room for eight. This is small ship cruising at its finest.

Our Island Girls are fully-crewed and feature air-conditioned cabins, private bathrooms, portholes, and all modern comforts.

Your Captain sets the course. Each day is a new adventure. Free your mind from schedules, and savor each moment as the crew hoists the sails, the trade winds fill the canvas, and you set off to your next secret island destination.

There’s no rush. You’ll have plenty of time ashore to explore vibrant villages, sip rum at quirky beach bars, or laze the days away on pristine beaches.

Even the nights are magical. Shipmates gather on deck to dance, share a joke or tell tales of the day’s adventures. Lean on the rail, and steal a kiss under a canopy of stars.

Live in the now, and breathe it all in. This is island life--and you’re living it!

ALWAYS ON ISLAND TIME

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Best Carnival cruise ships: Here’s which ship you should sail, based on your travel style

Choosing a Carnival cruise ship is no simple task, especially if you're new to cruising. As one of the largest cruise brands in the world, Carnival Cruise Line has more than two dozen vessels in its fleet, offering everything from megaship adventures to smaller-ship experiences. Many variables — price, embarkation dates, travel companions, ship size and amenities, and destination — can shape the way you make your choice.

So, what is the best Carnival cruise ship? Here are my picks for the top options in several categories.

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Mardi Gras: Best Carnival cruise ship for families

The best Carnival cruise ship for kids is undoubtedly Mardi Gras . Not only is it one of Carnival's newest vessels, but it's also one of the largest, and it has tons of activities to keep families with children busy.

At the expansive kids club, daily programming includes scavenger hunts, arts and crafts, and video games. The club draws in young cruisers and gives them space to make friends and play with peers. Beyond the dedicated kids facilities, the ship has a massive arcade and many top-deck diversions. One of these is the Ultimate Playground — a space encompassing a ropes course, waterslides and Bolt, the first-ever roller coaster at sea . (Note that the arcade and Bolt cost extra.)

Related: The 5 best cruise lines for families

Mardi Gras is full of fantastic family-friendly dining, including the line's Dr. Seuss-themed Green Eggs and Ham Breakfast (for a small fee). The ship also includes pizza, soft-serve ice cream, Shaq's fried chicken and Guy Fieri burgers in its fares. Even the pickiest of eaters will be satisfied. Kids can order off special menus in the complimentary main dining rooms and join in their waiters' rollicking dance performances just when they start to get antsy sitting still.

The ship also does a nice job of accommodating families of all sizes and budgets. Many of Mardi Gras' standard cabins sleep at least four people, and the ship offers connecting cabins.

Its Family Harbor staterooms provide access to a special family lounge area with TVs, sitting areas and internet stations. Breakfast is offered there each morning, and snacks and drinks — including free soda — are provided throughout the day. So, you never have to go far when the kids need a snack. Cabins in the Family Harbor category feature a nautical theme, plenty of storage and space to sleep at least four people.

Mardi Gras' new sister ship, Carnival Celebration, is also a fantastic option in this category, offering a nearly identical experience (with just a few changes in the names and themes of specific venues).

Carnival Horizon: Best ship for luxury lovers

Let's be clear: Carnival is not a luxury cruise line, nor does it offer huge suites on most ships. The suites it has are smaller than most other brands' high-end accommodations, and they do not include amenities like butler service.

With that in mind, one ship that offers slightly more exclusive options is Carnival Horizon — the second vessel in Carnival's three-ship Vista class. It offers a top-deck, adults-only Serenity sun deck area; an extensive menu of spa treatments, salon services and fitness classes at the onboard Cloud 9 Spa; and a handful of upmarket cabin offerings.

If you're into wellness, relaxation and self-care, check out the spa and fitness center's manicures, pedicures, facials, massages, teeth whitening treatments, acupuncture, anti-wrinkle procedures, state-of-the-art cycling classes, thermal suite, hot tubs, saunas and steam rooms for a fee. For digs that include pampering, try a Cloud 9 Spa cabin to receive extras like complimentary thermal suite access and two free yoga or Pilates classes.

Related: The 8 best cruise lines for elegance and exclusivity

If exclusive stateroom enclaves are what you seek, you'll want to book one of the ship's Havana Cabana cabins. They come in several varieties, from 185-square-foot insides to Havana Suites, which offer 260 square feet of interior space (with a dividing wall to separate sleeping and living areas), plus a 100-square-foot patio area with loungers and a hammock. All Havana Cabana cruisers get access to an exclusive lanai and pool deck. With a suite booking, you'll also receive priority embarkation and disembarkation.

If a traditional suite is more your style, consider a Grand Suite, which includes priority embarkation, disembarkation and dining times, as well as access to the Havana pool area. Note, however, that Grand Suites run only 345 square feet with 85-square-foot balconies — disappointing when you consider some of Royal Caribbean's largest rooms are nearly five times that size.

The only ships on which you'll find larger accommodations are the line's newest: Mardi Gras, Carnival Celebration and Carnival Jubilee, all of which house Presidential Suites. Those accommodations offer 1,120 square feet of space with 600-square-foot balconies and separate living and sleeping areas. However, the ships — part of the line's Excel Class — are so large and attract so many families that I've ruled them out as the most luxurious.

Carnival Conquest: Best ship for budget travelers

If you're on a budget and simply looking for one of the cheapest Carnival cruise ships, a solid bet is Carnival Conquest. It offers Bahamas and Caribbean voyages of three to five nights. Think of it this way: The shorter the cruise , the less expensive it will be.

Plus, it sails from Miami, one of the world's largest cruise hubs. More ships leaving from a specific port means more competition, which can drive prices lower.

Related: The 8 classes of Carnival ships, explained

Carnival Conquest is one of the line's oldest ships, but it's also a ton of fun. Because short sailings tend to attract a more lively crowd, passengers can expect lots of dancing, socializing and late nights at Henri's Dance Club. During the day, passengers enjoy spending time around the pool and grabbing free burgers from Guy's Burger Joint.

It's also one of the few vessels left in the fleet that still features jaw-dropping interiors designed by renowned architect Joe Farcus, who made Carnival synonymous with quirky patterns, bright colors and neon lights.

At the time of publication, prices started from $47 per person, per night, for an inside cabin.

Carnival Sunrise: Best Carnival cruise ship for singles

Unfortunately, Carnival has been slow to adopt solo cabins, meaning that no ships in its fleet offer accommodations for one.

Because all staterooms are designed for double occupancy, it's generally a rule that a person traveling alone must pay both fares. This means they would pay twice as much per person as two people sharing a room.

Related: The best cruise ships for solo travelers

In order to make the single supplement as affordable as possible, solo Carnival cruisers will want to balance finding an inexpensive vessel with choosing one that sails short itineraries. They'll also probably want one that's a bit livelier (read: not the oldest in the fleet).

A great contender for the title of best Carnival ship for singles is Carnival Sunrise. Formerly Carnival Triumph, the ship was completely gutted, overhauled and renamed in 2019. Although it originally debuted in 1999, it feels fresh and nearly new. It offers the line's signature Serenity adults-only sun deck, RedFrog Pub, Alchemy Bar and a slew of lounges, nightclubs and daily activities.

Combine that with short, affordable voyages from Miami, and you can sail to the Bahamas or Caribbean for four or five nights from as little as $104 per night if you're solo. Short sailings also tend to draw a more fun-loving, social crowd. So, if your goal is to mingle and potentially meet other solo cruisers, you stand a good chance on Carnival Sunrise.

Carnival Pride: Best ship for retirees

Retired travelers have all the time in the world to take longer cruises, which generally allow them to visit more far-flung locales. Those trips can come with a substantial price tag, which is why, as a budget option, Carnival is such a great choice.

In particular, Carnival Pride's voyages consist of nine- and 12-night itineraries to the Baltic, British Isles and Iceland on a regular cadence. Longer voyages mean more time to explore but also fewer children and less of a frat party vibe. (Take note if you're thinking of bringing your grandkids.)

Related: The 7 best cruises for seniors who love to travel

Carnival Pride is one of the oldest ships sailing for Carnival. That actually works in its favor if you're a retiree who enjoys smaller ships and vintage design — in this case, more artwork and decor by Farcus.

In addition to a comedy club and an onboard spa, the ship also offers an adults-only sun deck, several bars and lounges, and plenty of dining options and daily activities to stave off boredom on longer voyages.

Bottom line

So, which Carnival cruise ship is the best? It all depends on your specific preferences. Whether you're searching for an inexpensive vacation, a family-friendly vessel or a ship that will take you on a longer voyage to Europe, there's a Carnival cruise to fit your taste and budget.

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Small Cruise Yachts

The best of small ship cruises.

Windstar's 148 to 342-guest small ships and personalized approach bring you closer to each destination and every port, so you can see the world from new perspectives. Share intimate moments away from the crowds, and immerse yourself in local, exotic cultures, all on a small cruise ship where surprise and delight are constant companions.

The Wind and the Stars Know the Way

You can slip past the crowds to discover smaller ports and get to know the local culture on more intimate excursions. Windstar's 148 to 342-guest small ships and personalized approach bring you closer to each destination and every port, so you can see the world from new perspectives. We offer two different yacht styles — the iconic sailing Wind Class and all-suite Star Plus Class — with custom-crafted journeys that highlight their unique attributes, whether island-hopping in Tahiti or cruising the Norwegian fjords. No wonder Windstar was voted the World’s Best midsize-ship ocean cruise line by the readers of Travel + Leisure in 2022.  

Iconic Wind Class

Windstar's flagship, Wind Surf sails with just 342 guests in 171 total staterooms: 18 Ocean View Suites with his and her bathrooms, 2 Bridge Suites, 1 Officer's Suite, and 150 Ocean View Staterooms.

Wind Star sails with just 148 pampered guests in 74 total staterooms: 73 deluxe, ocean-view staterooms and 1 deluxe Owner’s Suite with queen beds and a dining/sitting area.

Wind Spirit sails with just 148 pampered guests in 74 total staterooms: 73 deluxe, ocean-view staterooms and 1 deluxe Owner’s Suite with queen beds and a dining/sitting area.

All-suite Star Plus Class

Star Pride welcomes 312 guests in 156 suites, including 4 Owners' Suites, 2 beautiful Classic Suites, 3 Deluxe Suites, 79 Ocean View Suites, 58 Balcony suites, and 10 Star Porthole Suites.

Star Breeze welcomes 312 guests in 156 suites, including 4 Owners' Suites, 2 beautiful Classic Suites, 3 Deluxe Suites, 79 Ocean View Suites, 58 Balcony suites, and 10 Star Porthole Suites.

Star Legend welcomes 312 guests in 156 suites, including 4 Owners' Suites, 2 beautiful Classic Suites, 3 Deluxe Suites, 79 Ocean View Suites, 58 Balcony suites, and 10 Star Porthole Suites.

Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

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Updated at 2:44 p.m. ET on April 6, 2024.

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MY FIRST GLIMPSE of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea, amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my optic nerve to try again.

The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.

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“Author embarks on their first cruise-ship voyage” has been a staple of American essay writing for almost three decades, beginning with David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which was first published in 1996 under the title “Shipping Out.” Since then, many admirable writers have widened and diversified the genre. Usually the essayist commissioned to take to the sea is in their first or second flush of youth and is ready to sharpen their wit against the hull of the offending vessel. I am 51, old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist, and mostly what I do in both life and prose is shrug while muttering to my imaginary dachshund, “This too shall pass.” But the Icon of the Seas will not countenance a shrug. The Icon of the Seas is the Linda Loman of cruise ships, exclaiming that attention must be paid. And here I am in late January with my one piece of luggage and useless gray winter jacket and passport, zipping through the Port of Miami en route to the gangway that will separate me from the bulk of North America for more than seven days, ready to pay it in full.

The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused. It turns out that the aft is the stern of the ship, or, for those of us who don’t know what a stern or an aft are, its ass. The nose of the ship, responsible for separating the waves before it, is also called a bow, and is marked for passengers as the FWD , or forward. The part of the contemporary sailing vessel where the malls are clustered is called the midship. I trust that you have enjoyed this nautical lesson.

I ascend via elevator to my suite on Deck 11. This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed. To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? Unthinkable.

Allow me a brief preamble here. The story you are reading was commissioned at a moment when most staterooms on the Icon were sold out. In fact, so enthralled by the prospect of this voyage were hard-core mariners that the ship’s entire inventory of guest rooms (the Icon can accommodate up to 7,600 passengers, but its inaugural journey was reduced to 5,000 or so for a less crowded experience) was almost immediately sold out. Hence, this publication was faced with the shocking prospect of paying nearly $19,000 to procure for this solitary passenger an entire suite—not including drinking expenses—all for the privilege of bringing you this article. But the suite in question doesn’t even have a view of the ocean! I sit down hard on my soft bed. Nineteen thousand dollars for this .

The viewless suite does have its pluses. In addition to all the Malin+Goetz products in my dual bathrooms, I am granted use of a dedicated Suite Deck lounge; access to Coastal Kitchen, a superior restaurant for Suites passengers; complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream (“the fastest Internet at Sea”) “for one device per person for the whole cruise duration”; a pair of bathrobes (one of which comes prestained with what looks like a large expectoration by the greenest lizard on Earth); and use of the Grove Suite Sun, an area on Decks 18 and 19 with food and deck chairs reserved exclusively for Suite passengers. I also get reserved seating for a performance of The Wizard of Oz , an ice-skating tribute to the periodic table, and similar provocations. The very color of my Suite Sky SeaPass Card, an oceanic blue as opposed to the cloying royal purple of the standard non-Suite passenger, will soon provoke envy and admiration. But as high as my status may be, there are those on board who have much higher status still, and I will soon learn to bow before them.

In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends. But I naively thought that my meatball T-shirt would be more suitable for conversation-starting. “Oh, and who is your ‘daddy’?” some might ask upon seeing it. “And how long have you been his ‘little meatball’?” And so on.

I put on my meatball T-shirt and head for one of the dining rooms to get a late lunch. In the elevator, I stick out my chest for all to read the funny legend upon it, but soon I realize that despite its burnished tricolor letters, no one takes note. More to the point, no one takes note of me. Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace , who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am. If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity.

Worse awaits me in the dining room. This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language. “I’m sorry, this is only for pendejos ,” he seems to be saying. I push back politely and he repeats himself. Pendejos ? Piranhas? There’s some kind of P-word to which I am not attuned. Meanwhile elderly passengers stream right past, powered by their limbs, walkers, and electric wheelchairs. “It is only pendejo dining today, sir.” “But I have a suite!” I say, already starting to catch on to the ship’s class system. He examines my card again. “But you are not a pendejo ,” he confirms. I am wearing a DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL T-shirt, I want to say to him. I am the essence of pendejo .

Eventually, I give up and head to the plebeian buffet on Deck 15, which has an aquatic-styled name I have now forgotten. Before gaining entry to this endless cornucopia of reheated food, one passes a washing station of many sinks and soap dispensers, and perhaps the most intriguing character on the entire ship. He is Mr. Washy Washy—or, according to his name tag, Nielbert of the Philippines—and he is dressed as a taco (on other occasions, I’ll see him dressed as a burger). Mr. Washy Washy performs an eponymous song in spirited, indeed flamboyant English: “Washy, washy, wash your hands, WASHY WASHY!” The dangers of norovirus and COVID on a cruise ship this size (a giant fellow ship was stricken with the former right after my voyage) makes Mr. Washy Washy an essential member of the crew. The problem lies with the food at the end of Washy’s rainbow. The buffet is groaning with what sounds like sophisticated dishes—marinated octopus, boiled egg with anchovy, chorizo, lobster claws—but every animal tastes tragically the same, as if there was only one creature available at the market, a “cruisipus” bred specifically for Royal Caribbean dining. The “vegetables” are no better. I pick up a tomato slice and look right through it. It tastes like cellophane. I sit alone, apart from the couples and parents with gaggles of children, as “We Are Family” echoes across the buffet space.

I may have failed to mention that all this time, the Icon of the Seas has not left port. As the fiery mango of the subtropical setting sun makes Miami’s condo skyline even more apocalyptic, the ship shoves off beneath a perfunctory display of fireworks. After the sun sets, in the far, dark distance, another circus-lit cruise ship ruptures the waves before us. We glance at it with pity, because it is by definition a smaller ship than our own. I am on Deck 15, outside the buffet and overlooking a bunch of pools (the Icon has seven of them), drinking a frilly drink that I got from one of the bars (the Icon has 15 of them), still too shy to speak to anyone, despite Sister Sledge’s assertion that all on the ship are somehow related.

Kim Brooks: On failing the family vacation

The ship’s passage away from Ron DeSantis’s Florida provides no frisson, no sense of developing “sea legs,” as the ship is too large to register the presence of waves unless a mighty wind adds significant chop. It is time for me to register the presence of the 5,000 passengers around me, even if they refuse to register mine. My fellow travelers have prepared for this trip with personally decorated T-shirts celebrating the importance of this voyage. The simplest ones say ICON INAUGURAL ’24 on the back and the family name on the front. Others attest to an over-the-top love of cruise ships: WARNING! MAY START TALKING ABOUT CRUISING . Still others are artisanally designed and celebrate lifetimes spent married while cruising (on ships, of course). A couple possibly in their 90s are wearing shirts whose backs feature a drawing of a cruise liner, two flamingos with ostensibly male and female characteristics, and the legend “ HUSBAND AND WIFE Cruising Partners FOR LIFE WE MAY NOT HAVE IT All Together BUT TOGETHER WE HAVE IT ALL .” (The words not in all caps have been written in cursive.) A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.

I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

I breakfast alone at the Coastal Kitchen. The coffee tastes fine and the eggs came out of a bird. The ship rolls slightly this morning; I can feel it in my thighs and my schlong, the parts of me that are most receptive to danger.

I had a dangerous conversation last night. After the sun set and we were at least 50 miles from shore (most modern cruise ships sail at about 23 miles an hour), I lay in bed softly hiccupping, my arms stretched out exactly like Jesus on the cross, the sound of the distant waves missing from my mall-facing suite, replaced by the hum of air-conditioning and children shouting in Spanish through the vents of my two bathrooms. I decided this passivity was unacceptable. As an immigrant, I feel duty-bound to complete the tasks I am paid for, which means reaching out and trying to understand my fellow cruisers. So I put on a normal James Perse T-shirt and headed for one of the bars on the Royal Promenade—the Schooner Bar, it was called, if memory serves correctly.

I sat at the bar for a martini and two Negronis. An old man with thick, hairy forearms drank next to me, very silent and Hemingwaylike, while a dreadlocked piano player tinkled out a series of excellent Elton John covers. To my right, a young white couple—he in floral shorts, she in a light, summery miniskirt with a fearsome diamond ring, neither of them in football regalia—chatted with an elderly couple. Do it , I commanded myself. Open your mouth. Speak! Speak without being spoken to. Initiate. A sentence fragment caught my ear from the young woman, “Cherry Hill.” This is a suburb of Philadelphia in New Jersey, and I had once been there for a reading at a synagogue. “Excuse me,” I said gently to her. “Did you just mention Cherry Hill? It’s a lovely place.”

As it turned out, the couple now lived in Fort Lauderdale (the number of Floridians on the cruise surprised me, given that Southern Florida is itself a kind of cruise ship, albeit one slowly sinking), but soon they were talking with me exclusively—the man potbellied, with a chin like a hard-boiled egg; the woman as svelte as if she were one of the many Ukrainian members of the crew—the elderly couple next to them forgotten. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”).

“I don’t want to talk politics,” the man said. “But they’re going to eighty-six Biden and put Michelle in.”

I considered the contradictions of his opening conversational gambit, but decided to play along. “People like Michelle,” I said, testing the waters. The husband sneered, but the wife charitably put forward that the former first lady was “more personable” than Joe Biden. “They’re gonna eighty-six Biden,” the husband repeated. “He can’t put a sentence together.”

After I mentioned that I was a writer—though I presented myself as a writer of teleplays instead of novels and articles such as this one—the husband told me his favorite writer was Ayn Rand. “Ayn Rand, she came here with nothing,” the husband said. “I work with a lot of Cubans, so …” I wondered if I should mention what I usually do to ingratiate myself with Republicans or libertarians: the fact that my finances improved after pass-through corporations were taxed differently under Donald Trump. Instead, I ordered another drink and the couple did the same, and I told him that Rand and I were born in the same city, St. Petersburg/Leningrad, and that my family also came here with nothing. Now the bonding and drinking began in earnest, and several more rounds appeared. Until it all fell apart.

Read: Gary Shteyngart on watching Russian television for five days straight

My new friend, whom I will refer to as Ayn, called out to a buddy of his across the bar, and suddenly a young couple, both covered in tattoos, appeared next to us. “He fucking punked me,” Ayn’s frat-boy-like friend called out as he put his arm around Ayn, while his sizable partner sizzled up to Mrs. Rand. Both of them had a look I have never seen on land—their eyes projecting absence and enmity in equal measure. In the ’90s, I drank with Russian soldiers fresh from Chechnya and wandered the streets of wartime Zagreb, but I have never seen such undisguised hostility toward both me and perhaps the universe at large. I was briefly introduced to this psychopathic pair, but neither of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and the tattooed woman would not even reveal her Christian name to me (she pretended to have the same first name as Mrs. Rand). To impress his tattooed friends, Ayn made fun of the fact that as a television writer, I’d worked on the series Succession (which, it would turn out, practically nobody on the ship had watched), instead of the far more palatable, in his eyes, zombie drama of last year. And then my new friends drifted away from me into an angry private conversation—“He punked me!”—as I ordered another drink for myself, scared of the dead-eyed arrivals whose gaze never registered in the dim wattage of the Schooner Bar, whose terrifying voices and hollow laughs grated like unoiled gears against the crooning of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

But today is a new day for me and my hangover. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods . There’s the AquaDome, where one can find a food hall and an acrobatic sound-and-light aquatic show. Central Park has a premium steak house, a sushi joint, and a used Rolex that can be bought for $8,000 on land here proudly offered at $17,000. There’s the aforementioned Royal Promenade, where I had drunk with the Rands, and where a pair of dueling pianos duel well into the night. There’s Surfside, a kids’ neighborhood full of sugary garbage, which looks out onto the frothy trail that the behemoth leaves behind itself. Thrill Island refers to the collection of tubes that clutter the ass of the ship and offer passengers six waterslides and a surfing simulation. There’s the Hideaway, an adult zone that plays music from a vomit-slathered, Brit-filled Alicante nightclub circa 1996 and proves a big favorite with groups of young Latin American customers. And, most hurtfully, there’s the Suite Neighborhood.

I say hurtfully because as a Suite passenger I should be here, though my particular suite is far from the others. Whereas I am stuck amid the riffraff of Deck 11, this section is on the highborn Decks 16 and 17, and in passing, I peek into the spacious, tall-ceilinged staterooms from the hallway, dazzled by the glint of the waves and sun. For $75,000, one multifloor suite even comes with its own slide between floors, so that a family may enjoy this particular terror in private. There is a quiet splendor to the Suite Neighborhood. I see fewer stickers and signs and drawings than in my own neighborhood—for example, MIKE AND DIANA PROUDLY SERVED U.S. MARINE CORPS RETIRED . No one here needs to announce their branch of service or rank; they are simply Suites, and this is where they belong. Once again, despite my hard work and perseverance, I have been disallowed from the true American elite. Once again, I am “Not our class, dear.” I am reminded of watching The Love Boat on my grandmother’s Zenith, which either was given to her or we found in the trash (I get our many malfunctioning Zeniths confused) and whose tube got so hot, I would put little chunks of government cheese on a thin tissue atop it to give our welfare treat a pleasant, Reagan-era gooeyness. I could not understand English well enough then to catch the nuances of that seafaring program, but I knew that there were differences in the status of the passengers, and that sometimes those differences made them sad. Still, this ship, this plenty—every few steps, there are complimentary nachos or milkshakes or gyros on offer—was the fatty fuel of my childhood dreams. If only I had remained a child.

I walk around the outdoor decks looking for company. There is a middle-aged African American couple who always seem to be asleep in each other’s arms, probably exhausted from the late capitalism they regularly encounter on land. There is far more diversity on this ship than I expected. Many couples are a testament to Loving v. Virginia , and there is a large group of folks whose T-shirts read MELANIN AT SEA / IT’S THE MELANIN FOR ME . I smile when I see them, but then some young kids from the group makes Mr. Washy Washy do a cruel, caricatured “Burger Dance” (today he is in his burger getup), and I think, Well, so much for intersectionality .

At the infinity pool on Deck 17, I spot some elderly women who could be ethnic and from my part of the world, and so I jump in. I am proved correct! Many of them seem to be originally from Queens (“Corona was still great when it was all Italian”), though they are now spread across the tristate area. We bond over the way “Ron-kon-koma” sounds when announced in Penn Station.

“Everyone is here for a different reason,” one of them tells me. She and her ex-husband last sailed together four years ago to prove to themselves that their marriage was truly over. Her 15-year-old son lost his virginity to “an Irish young lady” while their ship was moored in Ravenna, Italy. The gaggle of old-timers competes to tell me their favorite cruising stories and tips. “A guy proposed in Central Park a couple of years ago”—many Royal Caribbean ships apparently have this ridiculous communal area—“and she ran away screaming!” “If you’re diamond-class, you get four drinks for free.” “A different kind of passenger sails out of Bayonne.” (This, perhaps, is racially coded.) “Sometimes, if you tip the bartender $5, your next drink will be free.”

“Everyone’s here for a different reason,” the woman whose marriage ended on a cruise tells me again. “Some people are here for bad reasons—the drinkers and the gamblers. Some people are here for medical reasons.” I have seen more than a few oxygen tanks and at least one woman clearly undergoing very serious chemo. Some T-shirts celebrate good news about a cancer diagnosis. This might be someone’s last cruise or week on Earth. For these women, who have spent months, if not years, at sea, cruising is a ritual as well as a life cycle: first love, last love, marriage, divorce, death.

Read: The last place on Earth any tourist should go

I have talked with these women for so long, tonight I promise myself that after a sad solitary dinner I will not try to seek out company at the bars in the mall or the adult-themed Hideaway. I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. She is singing something violent about “Stuttering Stanley” (a character in a popular horror movie, as I discover with my complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream Internet at Sea) and he’s loudly shouting about “all the money I’ve lost,” presumably at the casino in the bowels of the ship.

So these bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel are angrily inhabiting my deck. As I mewl myself to sleep, I envision a limited series for HBO or some other streamer, a kind of low-rent White Lotus , where several aggressive couples conspire to throw a shy intellectual interloper overboard. I type the scenario into my phone. As I fall asleep, I think of what the woman who recently divorced her husband and whose son became a man through the good offices of the Irish Republic told me while I was hoisting myself out of the infinity pool. “I’m here because I’m an explorer. I’m here because I’m trying something new.” What if I allowed myself to believe in her fantasy?

“YOU REALLY STARTED AT THE TOP,” they tell me. I’m at the Coastal Kitchen for my eggs and corned-beef hash, and the maître d’ has slotted me in between two couples. Fueled by coffee or perhaps intrigued by my relative youth, they strike up a conversation with me. As always, people are shocked that this is my first cruise. They contrast the Icon favorably with all the preceding liners in the Royal Caribbean fleet, usually commenting on the efficiency of the elevators that hurl us from deck to deck (as in many large corporate buildings, the elevators ask you to choose a floor and then direct you to one of many lifts). The couple to my right, from Palo Alto—he refers to his “porn mustache” and calls his wife “my cougar” because she is two years older—tell me they are “Pandemic Pinnacles.”

This is the day that my eyes will be opened. Pinnacles , it is explained to me over translucent cantaloupe, have sailed with Royal Caribbean for 700 ungodly nights. Pandemic Pinnacles took advantage of the two-for-one accrual rate of Pinnacle points during the pandemic, when sailing on a cruise ship was even more ill-advised, to catapult themselves into Pinnacle status.

Because of the importance of the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest cruise liner, more than 200 Pinnacles are on this ship, a startling number, it seems. Mrs. Palo Alto takes out a golden badge that I have seen affixed over many a breast, which reads CROWN AND ANCHOR SOCIETY along with her name. This is the coveted badge of the Pinnacle. “You should hear all the whining in Guest Services,” her husband tells me. Apparently, the Pinnacles who are not also Suites like us are all trying to use their status to get into Coastal Kitchen, our elite restaurant. Even a Pinnacle needs to be a Suite to access this level of corned-beef hash.

“We’re just baby Pinnacles,” Mrs. Palo Alto tells me, describing a kind of internal class struggle among the Pinnacle elite for ever higher status.

And now I understand what the maître d’ was saying to me on the first day of my cruise. He wasn’t saying “ pendejo .” He was saying “Pinnacle.” The dining room was for Pinnacles only, all those older people rolling in like the tide on their motorized scooters.

And now I understand something else: This whole thing is a cult. And like most cults, it can’t help but mirror the endless American fight for status. Like Keith Raniere’s NXIVM, where different-colored sashes were given out to connote rank among Raniere’s branded acolytes, this is an endless competition among Pinnacles, Suites, Diamond-Plusers, and facing-the-mall, no-balcony purple SeaPass Card peasants, not to mention the many distinctions within each category. The more you cruise, the higher your status. No wonder a section of the Royal Promenade is devoted to getting passengers to book their next cruise during the one they should be enjoying now. No wonder desperate Royal Caribbean offers (“FINAL HOURS”) crowded my email account weeks before I set sail. No wonder the ship’s jewelry store, the Royal Bling, is selling a $100,000 golden chalice that will entitle its owner to drink free on Royal Caribbean cruises for life. (One passenger was already gaming out whether her 28-year-old son was young enough to “just about earn out” on the chalice or if that ship had sailed.) No wonder this ship was sold out months before departure , and we had to pay $19,000 for a horrid suite away from the Suite Neighborhood. No wonder the most mythical hero of Royal Caribbean lore is someone named Super Mario, who has cruised so often, he now has his own working desk on many ships. This whole experience is part cult, part nautical pyramid scheme.

From the June 2014 issue: Ship of wonks

“The toilets are amazing,” the Palo Altos are telling me. “One flush and you’re done.” “They don’t understand how energy-efficient these ships are,” the husband of the other couple is telling me. “They got the LNG”—liquefied natural gas, which is supposed to make the Icon a boon to the environment (a concept widely disputed and sometimes ridiculed by environmentalists).

But I’m thinking along a different line of attack as I spear my last pallid slice of melon. For my streaming limited series, a Pinnacle would have to get killed by either an outright peasant or a Suite without an ocean view. I tell my breakfast companions my idea.

“Oh, for sure a Pinnacle would have to be killed,” Mr. Palo Alto, the Pandemic Pinnacle, says, touching his porn mustache thoughtfully as his wife nods.

“THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S your time, buddy!” Hubert, my fun-loving Panamanian cabin attendant, shouts as I step out of my suite in a robe. “Take it easy, buddy!”

I have come up with a new dressing strategy. Instead of trying to impress with my choice of T-shirts, I have decided to start wearing a robe, as one does at a resort property on land, with a proper spa and hammam. The response among my fellow cruisers has been ecstatic. “Look at you in the robe!” Mr. Rand cries out as we pass each other by the Thrill Island aqua park. “You’re living the cruise life! You know, you really drank me under the table that night.” I laugh as we part ways, but my soul cries out, Please spend more time with me, Mr. and Mrs. Rand; I so need the company .

In my white robe, I am a stately presence, a refugee from a better limited series, a one-man crossover episode. (Only Suites are granted these robes to begin with.) Today, I will try many of the activities these ships have on offer to provide their clientele with a sense of never-ceasing motion. Because I am already at Thrill Island, I decide to climb the staircase to what looks like a mast on an old-fashioned ship (terrified, because I am afraid of heights) to try a ride called “Storm Chasers,” which is part of the “Category 6” water park, named in honor of one of the storms that may someday do away with the Port of Miami entirely. Storm Chasers consists of falling from the “mast” down a long, twisting neon tube filled with water, like being the camera inside your own colonoscopy, as you hold on to the handles of a mat, hoping not to die. The tube then flops you down headfirst into a trough of water, a Royal Caribbean baptism. It both knocks my breath out and makes me sad.

In keeping with the aquatic theme, I attend a show at the AquaDome. To the sound of “Live and Let Die,” a man in a harness gyrates to and fro in the sultry air. I saw something very similar in the back rooms of the famed Berghain club in early-aughts Berlin. Soon another harnessed man is gyrating next to the first. Ja , I think to myself, I know how this ends. Now will come the fisting , natürlich . But the show soon devolves into the usual Marvel-film-grade nonsense, with too much light and sound signifying nichts . If any fisting is happening, it is probably in the Suite Neighborhood, inside a cabin marked with an upside-down pineapple, which I understand means a couple are ready to swing, and I will see none of it.

I go to the ice show, which is a kind of homage—if that’s possible—to the periodic table, done with the style and pomp and masterful precision that would please the likes of Kim Jong Un, if only he could afford Royal Caribbean talent. At one point, the dancers skate to the theme song of Succession . “See that!” I want to say to my fellow Suites—at “cultural” events, we have a special section reserved for us away from the commoners—“ Succession ! It’s even better than the zombie show! Open your minds!”

Finally, I visit a comedy revue in an enormous and too brightly lit version of an “intimate,” per Royal Caribbean literature, “Manhattan comedy club.” Many of the jokes are about the cruising life. “I’ve lived on ships for 20 years,” one of the middle-aged comedians says. “I can only see so many Filipino homosexuals dressed as a taco.” He pauses while the audience laughs. “I am so fired tonight,” he says. He segues into a Trump impression and then Biden falling asleep at the microphone, which gets the most laughs. “Anyone here from Fort Leonard Wood?” another comedian asks. Half the crowd seems to cheer. As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.

As a coddled passenger with a suite, I feel like I am starting to understand what it means to have a rank and be constantly reminded of it. There are many espresso makers , I think as I look across the expanse of my officer-grade quarters before closing my eyes, but this one is mine .

A shocking sight greets me beyond the pools of Deck 17 as I saunter over to the Coastal Kitchen for my morning intake of slightly sour Americanos. A tiny city beneath a series of perfectly pressed green mountains. Land! We have docked for a brief respite in Basseterre, the capital of St. Kitts and Nevis. I wolf down my egg scramble to be one of the first passengers off the ship. Once past the gangway, I barely refrain from kissing the ground. I rush into the sights and sounds of this scruffy island city, sampling incredible conch curry and buckets of non-Starbucks coffee. How wonderful it is to be where God intended humans to be: on land. After all, I am neither a fish nor a mall rat. This is my natural environment. Basseterre may not be Havana, but there are signs of human ingenuity and desire everywhere you look. The Black Table Grill Has been Relocated to Soho Village, Market Street, Directly Behind of, Gary’s Fruits and Flower Shop. Signed. THE PORK MAN reads a sign stuck to a wall. Now, that is how you write a sign. A real sign, not the come-ons for overpriced Rolexes that blink across the screens of the Royal Promenade.

“Hey, tie your shoestring!” a pair of laughing ladies shout to me across the street.

“Thank you!” I shout back. Shoestring! “Thank you very much.”

A man in Independence Square Park comes by and asks if I want to play with his monkey. I haven’t heard that pickup line since the Penn Station of the 1980s. But then he pulls a real monkey out of a bag. The monkey is wearing a diaper and looks insane. Wonderful , I think, just wonderful! There is so much life here. I email my editor asking if I can remain on St. Kitts and allow the Icon to sail off into the horizon without me. I have even priced a flight home at less than $300, and I have enough material from the first four days on the cruise to write the entire story. “It would be funny …” my editor replies. “Now get on the boat.”

As I slink back to the ship after my brief jailbreak, the locals stand under umbrellas to gaze at and photograph the boat that towers over their small capital city. The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock.

“We hear about all the waterslides,” a sweet young server in one of the cafés told me. “We wish we could go on the ship, but we have to work.”

“I want to stay on your island,” I replied. “I love it here.”

But she didn’t understand how I could possibly mean that.

“WASHY, WASHY, so you don’t get stinky, stinky!” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy.

Meanwhile, I have found a new watering hole for myself, the Swim & Tonic, the biggest swim-up bar on any cruise ship in the world. Drinking next to full-size, nearly naked Americans takes away one’s own self-consciousness. The men have curvaceous mom bodies. The women are equally un-shy about their sprawling physiques.

Today I’ve befriended a bald man with many children who tells me that all of the little trinkets that Royal Caribbean has left us in our staterooms and suites are worth a fortune on eBay. “Eighty dollars for the water bottle, 60 for the lanyard,” the man says. “This is a cult.”

“Tell me about it,” I say. There is, however, a clientele for whom this cruise makes perfect sense. For a large middle-class family (he works in “supply chains”), seven days in a lower-tier cabin—which starts at $1,800 a person—allow the parents to drop off their children in Surfside, where I imagine many young Filipina crew members will take care of them, while the parents are free to get drunk at a swim-up bar and maybe even get intimate in their cabin. Cruise ships have become, for a certain kind of hardworking family, a form of subsidized child care.

There is another man I would like to befriend at the Swim & Tonic, a tall, bald fellow who is perpetually inebriated and who wears a necklace studded with little rubber duckies in sunglasses, which, I am told, is a sort of secret handshake for cruise aficionados. Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.

I usually tan very evenly, but something about the discombobulation of life at sea makes me forget the regular application of sunscreen. As I walk down the streets of Charlotte Amalie in my fluorescent Icon of the Seas cap, an old Rastafarian stares me down. “Redneck,” he hisses.

“No,” I want to tell him, as I bring a hand up to my red neck, “that’s not who I am at all. On my island, Mannahatta, as Whitman would have it, I am an interesting person living within an engaging artistic milieu. I do not wish to use the Caribbean as a dumping ground for the cruise-ship industry. I love the work of Derek Walcott. You don’t understand. I am not a redneck. And if I am, they did this to me.” They meaning Royal Caribbean? Its passengers? The Rands?

“They did this to me!”

Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do. Her face was as tight as a 19-year-old’s, she had so much surgery.” With those words, and beneath a cloudy sky, humidity shrouding our weathered faces and red necks, we set sail once again, hopefully in the direction of home.

THERE ARE BARELY 48 HOURS LEFT to the cruise, and the Icon of the Seas’ passengers are salty. They know how to work the elevators. They know the Washy Washy song by heart. They understand that the chicken gyro at “Feta Mediterranean,” in the AquaDome Market, is the least problematic form of chicken on the ship.

The passengers have shed their INAUGURAL CRUISE T-shirts and are now starting to evince political opinions. There are caps pledging to make America great again and T-shirts that celebrate words sometimes attributed to Patrick Henry: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.” With their preponderance of FAMILY FLAG FAITH FRIENDS FIREARMS T-shirts, the tables by the crepe station sometimes resemble the Capitol Rotunda on January 6. The Real Anthony Fauci , by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., appears to be a popular form of literature, especially among young men with very complicated versions of the American flag on their T-shirts. Other opinions blend the personal and the political. “Someone needs to kill Washy guy, right?” a well-dressed man in the elevator tells me, his gray eyes radiating nothing. “Just beat him to death. Am I right?” I overhear the male member of a young couple whisper, “There goes that freak” as I saunter by in my white spa robe, and I decide to retire it for the rest of the cruise.

I visit the Royal Bling to see up close the $100,000 golden chalice that entitles you to free drinks on Royal Caribbean forever. The pleasant Serbian saleslady explains that the chalice is actually gold-plated and covered in white zirconia instead of diamonds, as it would otherwise cost $1 million. “If you already have everything,” she explains, “this is one more thing you can get.”

I believe that anyone who works for Royal Caribbean should be entitled to immediate American citizenship. They already speak English better than most of the passengers and, per the Serbian lady’s sales pitch above, better understand what America is as well. Crew members like my Panamanian cabin attendant seem to work 24 hours a day. A waiter from New Delhi tells me that his contract is six months and three weeks long. After a cruise ends, he says, “in a few hours, we start again for the next cruise.” At the end of the half a year at sea, he is allowed a two-to-three-month stay at home with his family. As of 2019, the median income for crew members was somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000, according to a major business publication. Royal Caribbean would not share the current median salary for its crew members, but I am certain that it amounts to a fraction of the cost of a Royal Bling gold-plated, zirconia-studded chalice.

And because most of the Icon’s hyper-sanitized spaces are just a frittata away from being a Delta lounge, one forgets that there are actual sailors on this ship, charged with the herculean task of docking it in port. “Having driven 100,000-ton aircraft carriers throughout my career,” retired Admiral James G. Stavridis, the former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, writes to me, “I’m not sure I would even know where to begin with trying to control a sea monster like this one nearly three times the size.” (I first met Stavridis while touring Army bases in Germany more than a decade ago.)

Today, I decide to head to the hot tub near Swim & Tonic, where some of the ship’s drunkest reprobates seem to gather (the other tubs are filled with families and couples). The talk here, like everywhere else on the ship, concerns football, a sport about which I know nothing. It is apparent that four teams have recently competed in some kind of finals for the year, and that two of them will now face off in the championship. Often when people on the Icon speak, I will try to repeat the last thing they said with a laugh or a nod of disbelief. “Yes, 20-yard line! Ha!” “Oh my God, of course, scrimmage.”

Soon we are joined in the hot tub by the late-middle-age drunk guy with the duck necklace. He is wearing a bucket hat with the legend HAWKEYES , which, I soon gather, is yet another football team. “All right, who turned me in?” Duck Necklace says as he plops into the tub beside us. “I get a call in the morning,” he says. “It’s security. Can you come down to the dining room by 10 a.m.? You need to stay away from the members of this religious family.” Apparently, the gregarious Duck Necklace had photobombed the wrong people. There are several families who present as evangelical Christians or practicing Muslims on the ship. One man, evidently, was not happy that Duck Necklace had made contact with his relatives. “It’s because of religious stuff; he was offended. I put my arm around 20 people a day.”

Everyone laughs. “They asked me three times if I needed medication,” he says of the security people who apparently interrogated him in full view of others having breakfast.

Another hot-tub denizen suggests that he should have asked for fentanyl. After a few more drinks, Duck Necklace begins to muse about what it would be like to fall off the ship. “I’m 62 and I’m ready to go,” he says. “I just don’t want a shark to eat me. I’m a huge God guy. I’m a Bible guy. There’s some Mayan theory squaring science stuff with religion. There is so much more to life on Earth.” We all nod into our Red Stripes.

“I never get off the ship when we dock,” he says. He tells us he lost $6,000 in the casino the other day. Later, I look him up, and it appears that on land, he’s a financial adviser in a crisp gray suit, probably a pillar of his North Chicago community.

THE OCEAN IS TEEMING with fascinating life, but on the surface it has little to teach us. The waves come and go. The horizon remains ever far away.

I am constantly told by my fellow passengers that “everybody here has a story.” Yes, I want to reply, but everybody everywhere has a story. You, the reader of this essay, have a story, and yet you’re not inclined to jump on a cruise ship and, like Duck Necklace, tell your story to others at great pitch and volume. Maybe what they’re saying is that everybody on this ship wants to have a bigger, more coherent, more interesting story than the one they’ve been given. Maybe that’s why there’s so much signage on the doors around me attesting to marriages spent on the sea. Maybe that’s why the Royal Caribbean newsletter slipped under my door tells me that “this isn’t a vacation day spent—it’s bragging rights earned.” Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely.

Today is a big day for Icon passengers. Today the ship docks at Royal Caribbean’s own Bahamian island, the Perfect Day at CocoCay. (This appears to be the actual name of the island.) A comedian at the nightclub opined on what his perfect day at CocoCay would look like—receiving oral sex while learning that his ex-wife had been killed in a car crash (big laughter). But the reality of the island is far less humorous than that.

One of the ethnic tristate ladies in the infinity pool told me that she loved CocoCay because it had exactly the same things that could be found on the ship itself. This proves to be correct. It is like the Icon, but with sand. The same tired burgers, the same colorful tubes conveying children and water from Point A to B. The same swim-up bar at its Hideaway ($140 for admittance, no children allowed; Royal Caribbean must be printing money off its clientele). “There was almost a fight at The Wizard of Oz ,” I overhear an elderly woman tell her companion on a chaise lounge. Apparently one of the passengers began recording Royal Caribbean’s intellectual property and “three guys came after him.”

I walk down a pathway to the center of the island, where a sign reads DO NOT ENTER: YOU HAVE REACHED THE BOUNDARY OF ADVENTURE . I hear an animal scampering in the bushes. A Royal Caribbean worker in an enormous golf cart soon chases me down and takes me back to the Hideaway, where I run into Mrs. Rand in a bikini. She becomes livid telling me about an altercation she had the other day with a woman over a towel and a deck chair. We Suites have special towel privileges; we do not have to hand over our SeaPass Card to score a towel. But the Rands are not Suites. “People are so entitled here,” Mrs. Rand says. “It’s like the airport with all its classes.” “You see,” I want to say, “this is where your husband’s love of Ayn Rand runs into the cruelties and arbitrary indignities of unbridled capitalism.” Instead we make plans to meet for a final drink in the Schooner Bar tonight (the Rands will stand me up).

Back on the ship, I try to do laps, but the pool (the largest on any cruise ship, naturally) is fully trashed with the detritus of American life: candy wrappers, a slowly dissolving tortilla chip, napkins. I take an extra-long shower in my suite, then walk around the perimeter of the ship on a kind of exercise track, past all the alluring lifeboats in their yellow-and-white livery. Maybe there is a dystopian angle to the HBO series that I will surely end up pitching, one with shades of WALL-E or Snowpiercer . In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean–like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon features a new technology that converts passengers’ poop into enough energy to power the waterslides . In the series, this shitty technology would be greatly expanded.) A very young woman (18? 19?), smart and lonely, who has only known life on the ship, walks along the same track as I do now, contemplating jumping off into the surf left by its wake. I picture reusing Duck Necklace’s words in the opening shot of the pilot. The girl is walking around the track, her eyes on the horizon; maybe she’s highborn—a Suite—and we hear the voice-over: “I’m 19 and I’m ready to go. I just don’t want a shark to eat me.”

Before the cruise is finished, I talk to Mr. Washy Washy, or Nielbert of the Philippines. He is a sweet, gentle man, and I thank him for the earworm of a song he has given me and for keeping us safe from the dreaded norovirus. “This is very important to me, getting people to wash their hands,” he tells me in his burger getup. He has dreams, as an artist and a performer, but they are limited in scope. One day he wants to dress up as a piece of bacon for the morning shift.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC (the Icon of the Seas is five times as large as that doomed vessel) at least offered its passengers an exciting ending to their cruise, but when I wake up on the eighth day, all I see are the gray ghosts that populate Miami’s condo skyline. Throughout my voyage, my writer friends wrote in to commiserate with me. Sloane Crosley, who once covered a three-day spa mini-cruise for Vogue , tells me she felt “so very alone … I found it very untethering.” Gideon Lewis-Kraus writes in an Instagram comment: “When Gary is done I think it’s time this genre was taken out back and shot.” And he is right. To badly paraphrase Adorno: After this, no more cruise stories. It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship. Writers typically have difficult childhoods, and it is cruel to remind them of the inherent loneliness that drove them to writing in the first place. It is also unseemly to write about the kind of people who go on cruises. Our country does not provide the education and upbringing that allow its citizens an interior life. For the creative class to point fingers at the large, breasty gentlemen adrift in tortilla-chip-laden pools of water is to gather a sour harvest of low-hanging fruit.

A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further. What I found shocked me. My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. It had been there all along. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained.

This article appears in the May 2024 print edition with the headline “A Meatball at Sea.” When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.

Frequently Asked Questions

Royal Caribbean's newest ship is also its priciest. Here's what it's like spending as little as possible, with no lobster or other upgrades.

• Royal Caribbean's Icon of the Seas could be an expensive vacation compared to other cruise ships.
• Sailing on the mega-ship without paying for any of its upcharged amenities is possible.
• But it would mean spending at least $265 a day, staying sober, and repeating meals.

A budget vacation on Royal Caribbean's new wildly popular Icon of the Seas is possible. Just be prepared to stay sober, repeat meals, and pay at least $265 a day.

Right now, there's likely no better example of the mass-market cruise industry's shift toward the budget airline strategy — charge a cheap base fare and offer irresistible up-charged amenities — than Royal Caribbean's new world's largest cruise liner.

After all, what other ship comes with a $100,000-a-week cabin and a $200-per-person restaurant?

But it is possible to vacation on the mega-ship without giving into any of its upcharged restaurants and activities. If you're strong enough to do so, here's what your seven nights on Icon of the Seas could look like.

Be warned: It won't include lobsters or private lounges .

Less than half of Icon’s 28 eateries are complimentary, so you’ll likely repeat meals.

Picky eaters are sure to find at least one satisfactory option at the ship's three buffets, one of which is Mexican-themed.

If not, the complimentary pizza shop or sandwiches from the two on-board cafés might suffice.

In search of variety, grab a Mediterranean-style wrap or crepe at the five-stall food hall instead.

For a more formal dinner, budget cruisers can grub on a three-course meal at the complimentary dining room.

The three-floor restaurant has a rotating menu with classics like crab cakes, New York strip steak, and cheesecake.

Just don't expect lobster or filet mignon. Both cost extra.

For better or worse, guests snubbing upcharged options would also be snubbing booze.

Like most mass-market cruise ships, Icon of the Seas' 18 bars aren't free. If you want alcohol and sodas, be prepared to pay for a beverage package.

Thankfully, the ship’s complimentary amenities could distract you from your sobriety.

Icon's surf simulator and impressive six-slide waterpark won't run you a tab.

The same goes for its seven pools and nine hot tubs — save for one of each exclusive to guests who've booked a suite.

For drier activities, families could spend their afternoons scaling the rock climbing wall or testing their putt at the nine-hole mini-golf course.

Or they could work off their lunch buffet by sweating it out at the sports court — basketball and ping pong included — for no extra charges.

Fortunately, Icon of the Seas' nighttime entertainment is also a great equalizer. Its ice skating performance, rendition of the Broadway hit "Wizard of Oz," and multi-disciplinary dance, swim, and dive show are complimentary to all guests.

But if you want to test your fear of heights at the part-walking, part-agility, part-ziplining Crown's Edge , you'll have to cough up $49.

The arcade games aren't free, either.

Guests staying in suites have access to a shared outdoor lounge.

There's also the option to pay up to $700 for one day with a private cabana-like "casita."

But if you're on a budget, you'll have to fight "pool chair hogs" for the best poolside seating instead. (Consider bringing a sheet mask with you — a 25-minute facial at the ship's spa is almost $150.)

And hold off on your Instagram photo dumps until after your vacation.

Otherwise, you'll have to cough up $31 per day and device for streaming-enabled WiFi, totaling $217 for the duration of the cruise. (Icon of the Seas is exclusively operating seven-night sailings.)

But let’s face it: The base fare alone isn’t ultra-affordable compared to other cruise ships.

Patrick Scholes, a lodging and leisure research analyst at Truist Securities, told Business Insider in late 2023, three months before Icon's launch , that the vessel was priced at a premium of "at least 50%, if not more."

Steep, compared to the typical 20% to 50% new-ship premiums.

The cheapest interior stateroom for 2024 currently costs $265 per person per day.

But even the windowless cabin comes with its own list of upgrades.

Travelers who want to pick their own stateroom must pay an additional $128 per person. If they opt for one of the larger (by at least one square foot) interior cabins, it'll be an extra $100.

Which is to say, good luck avoiding any of the upcharged amenities on your Icon of the Seas vacation .

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How Much Does a Cruise Cost?

The average cost of a cruise varies by ship, destination, trip length and more. Use this guide to learn more about cruise costs.

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With the rising cost of everything, including travel, cruise fares – some as low as $26 per person per night based on double occupancy – seem like an incredible bargain. And they certainly can be, but the fares you see advertised online often don't include extras like taxes, fees, port expenses, gratuities, shore excursions, specialty dining, alcoholic beverages, specialty coffees, room service fees and more.

Cruise pricing can be confusing with so many variables; unless you're sailing with a smaller luxury line that is all-inclusive , your bill on the day of disembarkation may be unexpected or even shocking. Small things like buying bottled water or renting noodles for floating in the ocean at a cruise line's private island can add up quickly. To help you plan better for a cruise vacation , U.S. News has broken down some of the costs and add-ons you need to take into consideration before booking your next getaway on the high seas.

How much does a one-week cruise cost?

A cruise can cost anywhere from about $171 per person for a four-night Bahamas cruise to up to $94,999 per person for a 154-night world cruise and anywhere in between. Cruise fares vary based on itinerary, number of nights, cabin type, amenities and cruise line. Here are a few examples of base cruise cost ranges on larger cruise lines for various regions:

• A seven-night Caribbean cruise in November costs approximately $424 to $1,158 per person.
• A seven-night Alaska cruise in May costs approximately $244 to $1,632 per person.
• A seven-night Western Mediterranean cruise in June costs approximately $439 to $3,218 per person.
• A seven-night Mexico cruise in January costs approximately $529 to $695 per person.
• A seven-night Canada and New England cruise in October costs approximately $470 to $954 per person.

What's included in the base fare with a larger cruise line?

Mass-market cruise lines such as Royal Caribbean International , Norwegian Cruise Line , MSC Cruises and Carnival Cruise Line – and more upscale lines like Celebrity Cruises , Holland America Line , Cunard Line , Disney Cruise Line and Princess Cruises – advertise "starting from" base fares, which are for inside cabins. These are the least expensive staterooms on the ship, and they do not have windows. Staying in these accommodations still gives you access to all the complimentary dining venues, several types of nonalcoholic beverages (nonbottled water, iced tea, lemonade, juices, hot coffee and tea), the ship's pools, the gym, kids clubs and onboard entertainment.

If you want a room with a view – or a larger stateroom – consider booking an ocean view room with a porthole or window, or a cabin with a balcony or veranda. With these rooms, you'll have access to all the ship's included amenities and typically more spacious accommodations for the week. Of course, this option will come at a higher price point.

No matter which room category you choose, port expenses, taxes and fees are not included in the base fares, and they're automatically added to the cost of your cruise. The amount of these charges will depend on the length of your cruise and where you're sailing. Gratuities for the staff and crew are also additional.

Find the best value sailings on  GoToSea , a service of U.S. News.

What if you want more amenities and perks?

If you splurge on a suite or a higher room category, such as Celebrity's Concierge Class, you'll get perks like priority embarkation, a Welcome Aboard Concierge Class Lunch, complimentary sparkling wine and daily tastings (upon request), concierge service, invitations to exclusive destination seminars, pillow selection and more.

With Disney Cruise Line's Concierge Staterooms and Suites, guests have a dedicated concierge agent offering personalized assistance for pre-arrival planning for port adventures, dining reservations, other onboard activities and special requests. You'll also have priority check-in and boarding, complimentary Wi-Fi, access to a private lounge, and other perks.

You may opt to stay within an exclusive area of the ship, such as MSC Cruises' Yacht Club, Norwegian's The Haven or Celebrity's The Retreat. These high-end private retreats offer an all-inclusive experience with additional features, while still including access to all the entertainment, dining venues and more on board. The accommodations can cost hundreds more dollars per day, but you'll have an experience similar to sailing on a small luxury vessel.

For example, the MSC Yacht Club offers an intimate all-inclusive space within its larger ships. The private area is accessible with a key card and features luxurious suites, a dedicated concierge, 24-hour butler service, a private restaurant and lounge, a rooftop pool, and other amenities. There are also additional dining and snack options throughout the day at the pool and lounge.

You'll find similar amenities in Norwegian's and Celebrity's private retreats, including priority boarding and disembarkation, exclusive sun deck areas, and priority access when boarding tenders for going ashore.

What factors determine pricing?

Base pricing and the additional components vary greatly among the cruise lines, so you'll need to determine what your budget is for the trip – and what you can and can't live without when it comes to accommodations and amenities. Travelers may also find that one cruise line has a deal or promotion with reduced pricing that includes airfare, specialty dining, a beverage package, free Wi-Fi or other perks in the advertised rate, while another line isn't running any specials for a similar itinerary. 

Voyages on older cruise ships tend to be less expensive, so if you're on a tight budget, consider a ship with fewer bells and whistles. If you're sailing on a short itinerary in the Bahamas and plan to lounge by the pool or on the beach all day, you may not be concerned about having high-tech onboard amenities, martini bars and several specialty restaurants.

Save the money to splurge on more expensive fares when you're planning to sail on longer voyages on larger and newer ships. You'll want several days at sea to enjoy the onboard amenities on some vessels, such as a three-level racetrack and a 10-story-tall slides on a new ship like Norwegian Prima or its new sister ship, Norwegian Viva, set to debut in summer 2023.

Another significant factor to consider is the time of year you want to travel. Better deals are available in the offseason, but the offseason varies depending on what part of the world you're traveling to. For example, May is a great time to find a deal in the Caribbean. The offseason – or shoulder season – in that market typically runs from May to November. However, keep in mind this period overlaps with hurricane season .

You also may be able to find last-minute deals in many other destinations if you're flexible. Working with a travel agent is an excellent way to learn of last-minute specials and cruise deals that offer add-ons like beverage packages, specialty dining inclusions, shore excursions and other perks. You can also check out the online specials that change frequently.

Read: The Best Cruise Lines for the Money

Solo travelers may pay more

If you're traveling alone , you may also need to factor in a single supplement, which can add up to as much as 100% of the cruise fare. To save money, bring a friend so you can access the lower double occupancy fare or consider lines that feature rooms for solo travelers; select Royal Caribbean, Norwegian and Celebrity ships offer solo cabins.

These smaller accommodations – around 100 to 200 square feet in size – are priced and designed for solo travelers. Key card access to Norwegian's Studio Complex and Lounge is included with the line's solo cabins and offers a place to relax and mix and mingle with other cruisers. Other lines that offer solo cabins include Holland America, MSC and Virgin Voyages . While the price may not be as inexpensive as the double occupancy fare when traveling with someone else, these accommodations offer some savings over a typical solo fare.

Some lines often feature special deals on select sailings where the single supplement is waived or reduced. A knowledgeable travel agent specializing in cruises can assist in finding the best offers for solo travelers.

Read: The Top Cruise Lines for Solo Travelers

Kids cruise free promotions can help families save

If you're traveling with kids, many cruise lines – such as Holland America, MSC, Norwegian, Royal Caribbean, Disney and Princess – offer "kids sail free" promotions periodically throughout the year. You can also find discounted fares for the kids on select sailings. Regent Seven Seas Cruises has fares as low as $999 for children 17 and younger on a variety of select voyages whose regular fares are around $6,000 and up. This fare also includes unlimited shore excursions and all the benefits and perks of sailing with an all-inclusive luxury cruise line.

Read: The Top Cruises for Babies and Toddlers

Food and beverage packages are another expense to consider

Once you determine your total cruise fare with the taxes, fees, port charges and gratuities, you'll need to budget for the additional expenses you'll have on the ship – and these extras can add up quickly. Meals at specialty dining venues , alcoholic drinks and other beverages may not be covered in the basic cruise fare. You'll also have to pay for room service on most ships.

You can purchase specialty dining, beverage and Wi-Fi packages before or during your cruise. These packages offer savings over purchasing everything individually – and it's best to buy them once you book your cruise, as they're typically cheaper to purchase before you board the ship. For an example of the savings, Royal Caribbean offers up to a 40% discount with a dining package. This package includes reduced pricing for children ages 6 to 12, while kids 5 and younger eat for free. The cruise line's unlimited dining package also offers discounts on bottles of wine.

In addition to specialty dining venues that charge a flat fee – usually between $30 to $50 – there are also restaurants that charge as much as $75 or more for dinner. Other venues feature a la carte menus with sushi, bar food and even steakhouses that price out individual courses. Some of these may not include gratuity, so that's another add-on. If you decide to dine at any of these spots – and they're not included in your package – you'll have to budget for them in the total cruise price. Enticing dessert items in the gelato and ice cream shops on some ships also come with a price, including Coco's and Dolce Gelato on Norwegian or MSC's Venchi.

There are endless options when considering beverage packages, too, so you need choose what fits best with your interests and budget. Some of the package options are only for nonalcoholic drinks like fountain sodas, sparkling waters and coffees, while premium or deluxe beverage packages cover beer, wine and cocktails, so they are more expensive. Depending on the cruise line, most premium packages will usually cover drinks up to $15, but many craft cocktails on cruise ships can be quite expensive, costing much more, especially if you request a call brand for the liquor. If you have the premium package and want to splurge on the fancy beverage, you'll have to pay the difference.

Other lines have packages that cover top-shelf beverages of up to $20 each and include wine, large bottles of water and soda, and other perks. You'll need to budget around $85 per person per day for this option – and an additional 18% gratuity. This type of package can add up to quite a bit of money on a seven-day cruise or longer.

For additional savings, look into bundle pricing that includes specialty dining, Wi-Fi, photos and more. Purchasing them together may be more cost-effective. For example, Holland America offers a "Have It All" package that encompasses a shore excursion credit, a signature beverage package (including the service charge), one evening of specialty dining and Wi-Fi. If you're sailing on longer cruises of 10 to 21 days or more, the benefits increase. The line estimates savings of 50% when you purchase this bundle.

While these packages may not always work out in your favor, you'll at least know what your dining, imbibing, excursions, Wi-Fi and even additional activities on the cruise will cost.

Read: Cruise Drink Packages: Your Options by Cruise Line

Tips on Trips and Expert Picks

Travel tips, vacation ideas and more to make your next vacation stellar.

Additional costs on a cruise ship

Cruisers will also incur additional fees from excursions, fitness classes, spa treatments, access to thermal spa rooms, babysitting services, ship tours, wine tastings, cocktail demonstrations, cooking classes, laundry services, and some entertainment venues and activities on the ship – such as Norwegian's racetrack and Carnival's first roller coaster at sea, BOLT. See some of the more popular added costs you'll want to consider below.

Wi-Fi access

If you need Wi-Fi during the cruise, that's another cost to factor into the total price. Here are two examples of pricing for internet plans for two cruise lines.

Carnival offers three options for Wi-Fi, using Starlink. The basic Social Wi-Fi Plan gives you access certain social media channels like Facebook Messenger, Instagram, Twitter, WhatsApp and more starting at $12.75 per day per person. The cost increases to $17 per day per person with the Value Wi-Fi Plan. This option gives you access to your email and to sites for weather, news, finance and more. It does not support Skype or music and video streaming services like Spotify and Netflix during your cruise.

Carnival's Premium Wi-Fi Plan starts at $18.70 per person per day and offers speeds up to three times faster than the Value plan. With this plan you can make Zoom calls and use Skype. For all three of these plans, you can save 15% off the total price if you book in advance of your trip.

Celebrity also uses Starlink. The line's "Always Included" fare includes basic internet, a classic drink package and gratuities. If you don't book that fare, Wi-Fi plans range from $20 per day for basic service to premium Wi-Fi at $35 per day.

• Shore excursions

If you're traveling to far-flung or new destinations, you'll want to book shore excursions. Cruise lines recommend that you book excursions directly with them rather than hiring an independent tour company or operator, but it can be more expensive to book tours through the cruise line.

However, if you experienced a delay on an independent tour and couldn't get back to the ship on time, there's a chance you could get left behind if you're not on a ship-sponsored tour. If you decide to go with a private tour guide, be sure to book an excursion where you'll arrive back at the ship with plenty of time to spare before the vessel departs for the next destination. Most tour operators in busy cruise ports work with the cruise ship schedules all the time, so you should be fine with a reputable independent guide.

Some trips last an entire day or are once-in-a-lifetime adventures like dog-sledding on a glacier in Alaska or taking a helicopter ride in Iceland. These types of excursions can be costly, ranging anywhere from hundreds to even thousands of dollars.

If these types of experiences are not in your budget, then look for historic walking or panoramic driving tours. These excursions are shorter in duration and typically the least expensive tours available on the cruise. Most of these types of tours will cost less than $100. And, of course, there are always other options available that range between the lower and higher price range of excursions.

If your ship is docked directly in the town or city, then you'll be able to explore off the ship on your own for free. Some cruise lines also offer complimentary shuttle buses into town, or a round-trip ride for a nominal fee, if it's not within walking distance of the ship. That's another less expensive option for you to sightsee, shop or grab lunch in town.

Transportation

Transportation is another expense that's often overlooked in the total cost of a cruise. Consider if you'll be driving or flying to the cruise port. If you're driving, you'll have to pay for gas and parking at the port – and maybe a hotel the night before the cruise, depending on when you arrive and when your ship is scheduled to set sail. Don't forget the meals or beverages you'll purchase on the way.

If you're flying to the port, especially on a long-distance flight, it's best to come in a day early. In that case, you'll also have to pay for a hotel, transfers from the airport to the hotel and then a transfer (private hire, Uber or cab) to the ship's terminal. There will also be meals to budget for while you're in town before the cruise and a ride back to the airport after the cruise.

Souvenirs or forgotten items

Don't forget to account for purchases on the ship. Items that you forgot to bring from home will be more expensive on the ship. It's also easy to run up the bill when buying souvenirs for yourself or the kids. It's a good idea to periodically check your bill online or with guest services to see the current balance. You can keep a running tab of what you've billed to your stateroom – and also make sure that the charges are correct.

Cruise pricing checklist

To sum it up, here's a checklist of major items that will help you to compare costs across cruise lines and tally up the total cost of a cruise:

• Base cruise price
• Taxes, fees, gratuities and port expenses
• Specialty dining
• Beverage package
• Optional activities
• Miscellaneous expenses
• Air or ground travel to the port
• Hotel prior to embarking

If you don't want to budget for all the individual expenses related to a cruise – and you don't need the over-the-top entertainment of a larger cruise ship – consider booking a mostly all-inclusive or fully all-inclusive cruise with a luxury cruise line . These cruise lines include almost everything in your cruise fare.

Mostly all-inclusive cruises

One option for a mostly all-inclusive cruise is Viking Ocean Cruises . The line's nine all-veranda ocean-going vessels accommodate 930 passengers – and all of Viking's ships feature the same categories of staterooms and suites, dining, lounges, and entertainment venues across the fleet. The ships offer an immersive cultural curriculum on board with regional dishes, destination performances and enrichment lectures.

Viking's fares include veranda accommodations, port taxes and fees, free Wi-Fi, access to The Nordic Spa and fitness center, 24-hour room service, ground transportation (if you book airfare with Viking), and one complimentary excursion in each port. You'll also have complimentary alternative dining options and free beer, wine and soft drinks with lunch and dinner on board the ship. Specialty coffees, teas and bottled water are available 24 hours a day at no extra charge. Guests are also invited to a welcome cocktail party and farewell reception.

If you like to have an aperitif before your evening meal or an after-dinner cocktail, those beverages will be at an additional cost. You'll also need to budget for any optional shore excursions that are not included in the fare.

Keep in mind that Viking is an adults-only cruise line, so children younger than 18 are not permitted.

Read:  The Best Adults-Only Cruises

All-inclusive cruises

Silversea Cruises , Regent Seven Seas and Seabourn Cruise Line boast all-inclusive luxury experiences with shipwide amenities such as ocean-facing suites, butlers, premium spirits, fully stocked in-suite bars, no tipping and complimentary dining at world-class restaurants.

Additional perks with Regent Seven Seas include complimentary shore excursions, free two- or three-night land programs, a free one-night hotel stay before the cruise departure, transfers from the airport to the ship, and business class or economy airfare, depending on the destination.

Silversea offers door-to-door arrangements where everything is handled by the cruise line. You can also opt for a port-to-port all-inclusive rate if you prefer to make your own travel arrangements. If you're on one of the cruise line's expedition cruises, fares will include a pre- or post-cruise hotel stay. All Silversea fares cover a selection of complimentary shore excursions in each port.

If you're interested in an even smaller ship – and are sailing to the Caribbean or Mediterranean – SeaDream Yacht Club features an intimate luxury experience on its two 56-stateroom yachts. The fares include top-notch cuisine, open bar and gratuities, complimentary daily yoga, access to water sports activities and nightly movies under the stars.

Read: The Top Cruises on Small Ships

How much does a luxury cruise cost for two?

If you want to go on a mostly adults-only luxury ship, what can you expect to pay for two people? This will depend on the ship, where you want to sail and for how long – and what amenities are included in the fare.

For a seven-night cruise in the Baltic region in June with Regent Seven Seas, an all-inclusive fare with suite accommodations is $12,540 ($6,270 per person). There are also additional perks available, depending on where you book the cruise. Some of the extras include a cash-back offer, a two-category upgrade and shipboard credit.

Silversea has a similar itinerary in June, and the fare also comes with added perks for $13,860 for two people ($6,930 per person) in suite accommodations.

While the price tag may seem high, compare the total cost with the base fare on a larger cruise ship and then add in all the extras.

See the top cruises on  GoToSea .

The bottom line

The average cost of a cruise is all over the map – and there are many variables to consider. Hiring a cruise specialist to navigate the rough waters may be your best option. Cruise specialists are also privy to special deals and incentives that you may not be able to access on your own.

Travel agents can also advise you of promotions that may include free specialty dining, beverage packages, complimentary Wi-Fi, shore excursions, discounts on solo and family travel, and more. This approach will save you the hassle of searching online or calling the individual cruise companies to check on what specials are available.

If you'd rather have one price with everything included so there's little room for surprises at the end of the trip, consider a mostly or fully all-inclusive cruise fare. If you don't need waterslides for the kids, big Broadway shows and high-tech entertainment, opt for a cruise on a small luxury line.

When doing the math and comparing the costs, you might be surprised how similar in price cruising with a larger mass-market cruise line and a smaller luxury line can be. In the end, your decision will come down to your personal preferences and what you value most for your cruise vacation.

Why Trust U.S. News Travel

Gwen Pratesi has been an avid cruiser since her early 20s. She has sailed on nearly every type of cruise ship built, including the newest megaships, paddle-wheelers on the Snake and Columbia rivers, and an 18-stateroom river ship on the Mekong River in Vietnam and Cambodia. Most recently, she traveled on a small luxury expedition vessel in Antarctica and crossed the notorious Drake Passage twice. She covers the travel and culinary industries, specializing in cruises, for major publications including U.S. News & World Report.

You might also be interested in:

• How Much Does an Alaska Cruise Cost?
• Cruise Packing List: Essentials for Your Cruise
• The Best Cruise Lines
• The Best Gay Cruises
• The Best Cruise Insurance Plans

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You can sail on this lavish cruise from Los Angeles to Vancouver at a steal

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A five-day cruise to Vancouver from Los Angeles is a steal thanks to a new offer from Princess Cruises.

The current promotion takes 35 per cent off the regular cost of the cruise. Plus, third and fourth guests sail free. 

The cruise sails out of Los Angeles on Tuesday, May 7 and spends three days at sea before disembarking in Vancouver on Saturday, May 11.

Passengers will sail on the five-star Sapphire Princess, which has four swimming pools, six hot tubs, a live theatre, mini golf, an ice skating rink, renowned spa treatments, movies under the stars, a jogging track, and much more.  

Princess Cruise from Los Angeles to Vancouver 

Prices before taxes and port-handling fees are affordable in nearly all room categories, with inside staterooms starting at $281, ocean views at $377, balconies at $512, mini-suites at $647, and suites for $1,456 (see slide two).

The total cost for an interior stateroom for two people is $944.84  ($472.42 per person) including all taxes and port-handling fees. This price works out to a per-person, per diem amount of $94.48 (see slide three).

Not only does that cost include your transportation on a beautiful five-star vessel, but it also includes meals, entertainment, snacks, and lodging. The only thing it doesn’t factor in is alcohol, but you may opt to purchase a drink package that can reduce the cost of your spending.

At under $100 per person per day, you would be hard-pressed to find accommodation in California or Vancouver for that price let alone with food and entertainment. 

Flights from Vancouver to LA

One-way, direct flights from Vancouver to Los Angeles start at under $100 with Flair Airlines, with one daily departure from Vancouver International Airport (YVR).

Since the Flair flight leaves at 7 a.m. from YVR travellers will theoretically land in L.A. in time to make the cruise. However, it isn't recommended to leave this little time.

Cruise lines prefer passengers to arrive at least four hours before the posted sailing time. Plan to spend one night in L.A. to avoid missing the cruise.

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